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56 minutes ago, anatess2 said:
Is your fiancee not going with you?
He is paramedic, so he works in shifts and he usually has 2 Sundays free a month so I try to go with him on those Sundays, I don't go without him because I have anxiety
58 minutes ago, anatess2 said:- Teach the child to focus on the speaker and entertain himself if his attention span is not yet long enough
I can't look away from him because he will get up and run for the door or throw things, it's a really stressful time
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7 hours ago, anatess2 said:
Sounds great... hopefully you opened up completely to him about your past and settled the matter.
We spoke a lot
and he was really understanding, which I kind of expected him to be.
7 hours ago, anatess2 said: How's church working out for you?
I go sometimes but I find it really tough to get there on time and try to entertain my son ad focus on the speaker.
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Hi,
it took me so long to re-find this thread. My partner and I are going to go for a civil wedding in November and whenever I am able to we are going to be sealed together.
- dprh, JohnsonJones, Vort and 1 other
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Junior, has she ever hit you?
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21 hours ago, mdfxdb said:
You just need to get up and go to church. If you want there to be any chance at this relationship or a future relationship with an LDS man you just need to get over it. I have anxiety about going to work, talking on the phone, going to public places, touching things in public, heights, etc, etc, etc.......... GET OVER IT. It all comes down to priorities and what is important.
It isn't that easy as to just get over it
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On 8/21/2019 at 3:32 PM, Fether said:
A quick story. My sister-in-law is on dating sites a lot.
I had never been on a dating site before but I thought I had nothing to lose.
On 8/21/2019 at 3:32 PM, Fether said: Dont waste time on people who you don’t love, and especially don’t waste time on people who don’t love you. There will be plenty of both types of people.
I love him and I'm sure he loves me because he asked me to marry him.
On 8/21/2019 at 3:32 PM, Fether said:Now you can’t know if he really loves YOU until you tell him the truth. It’s going to be hard now cause you have waited so long, buy you need to do it now before it gets harder.
On 8/20/2019 at 11:13 PM, Vort said:Then you have the perfect segue to start the conversation: "You know, John, I didn't realize we would be getting close like this. I need to be upfront with you about some private matters that I didn't want to go into with just a casual friend. So, here are some things you should know about me and my life." [etc.]
I told him yesterday that I don't have a temple recommend and he said it was okay but he wanted to know why, but then I think he could tell I was uncomfortable so he said I don't have to tell him. He asked me if I want to get a temple recommend, I told him I do. But I don't think he expects me to tell him everything about me not going to church and my son.
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20 hours ago, Vort said:
I don't know if your relationship will survive this. But to have any hope at all, you must come clean immediately. The longer your deception goes on, the worse it will be for you and your relationship.
20 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:Relationships built on lies aren't relationships. Be honest with him, or you're merely looking for your next ex-husband. You need to act like you deserve better than that. Because you do.
20 hours ago, Manners Matter said:First, welcome to the forum.
You need to come clean about everything. The sooner, the better. It's the right thing to do.
Oh, and find a way to get yourself and your son to church and make it a habit.
21 hours ago, MormonGator said:With very few exceptions, no one can keep a secret forever. It's better to lay it all out than have it come out three months down the road.
21 hours ago, Just_A_Guy said:You need to tell him the truth.
Yes you're right I have to be truthful and see what happens
- Jane_Doe, Just_A_Guy, Midwest LDS and 1 other
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19 hours ago, JohnsonJones said:
HOWEVER...in addition to that you need to start going to church. If nothing else, go to church with him in his ward. I am unsure what would make it a bad time to ever go back to church. Normally, it is NEVER a bad time to start going back to church, so that phrase puzzles me. If it is something specifically in your ward, find another ward that you do not have the conflict in. If you fiancé is in a different ward, go to his ward with him. There are many ways to start going back to church.
I have anxiety about going to church, I always set my alarm and get clothes ready for church but on Sunday morning we never go.
19 hours ago, JohnsonJones said:If you are worthy, or at least there is nothing that is holding you back, go to church for a month or two and you may be able to go to the Temple sooner than you may expect if that is your goal and you wish to be married in the temple and have someone who wants to take you to the temple. A temple marriage is worth waiting for and worth working towards.
I think that unfortunately it will take me longer than that, but I am wanting to work towards it.
19 hours ago, JohnsonJones said: If this is your goal, and your hoped for future spouse loves you enough to marry you, tell them the truth and the issues at hand. If they truly love you they will work with you through this and also have the goal of a temple marriage.
This is what I hope will happen, but I don't know how likely it is
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19 hours ago, estradling75 said:
You have done him and you have done yourself a major disservice by not being honest. By trying to avoid the "little" pain your deceptions have set both you and him up for major heart ache.
I feel terrible about it but I wasn't expecting our relationship to last usually they don't so I never thought I would have to tell him the truth.
19 hours ago, estradling75 said:At this point it is possible that your fiance, when he learns, will judge you to be untrustworthy and break it off. He will be well within his rights to do so.
I don't want him to leave me, which is why I haven't told him yet.
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I became a member when I was 11 and I was the only member in my family, I've always been in and out of going to church. When I went to college I attended church regularly but I still wasn't really keen and I started to date someone I met at church and I fell pregnant with my son, we got married and within 18 months we were divorced. I never went back to church, last October I met my fiance on a dating app for LDS, I wasn't really honest with him about my inactivity in the church because I was worried he wouldn't want to be with me. I misled him into thinking I had a temple recommend, I feel really bad about it and I want to marry him. Some of my friends say he will still want to marry me now and when I am ready to be married in the temple we can do that then, but they aren't members and I don't think they understand. If you were engaged and thought you were going to be married in the temple would you be willing to be married and later be married at the temple? Also, I don't go to church at the moment but I would like to go again and I want to marry my fiance in the temple but it's not been a good time for me to go to church. What do you think I should do? And, I kind of fabricated that my son was conceived before I was married, I just didn't want him to judge me. Do you think I have to tell him?
A question about temple marriage
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
I took him on Sunday with my fiance and he was so naughty I ended up leaving with him half way through, because it really triggers my anxiety when lots of people look at me and he was drawing so much attention to us.