yw-pres-sml

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Posts posted by yw-pres-sml

  1. 22 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

    So a couple of observations,

    1. I would avoid group texts, our voice is not heard via text message. I know that there is a reluctance these days to pickup a phone and call people but it reduces the misunderstandings.

    2.  Over communicate, I have found that when you take away people excuses they stop making them.

    3. There seems to be some hostility coming from her side of things. I would ask that she be released immediately before the waters are tainted any further. I wouldn't take no for an answer. You have stewardship over the YW. 

    4. Don't lose any sleep over it. In this life we can't please everyone it's impossible wrap your head around that idea and you'll sleep better. 

    I completely agree that text messages are the least effective way to communicate these things. And yes, I should have called her when I was initially apologizing. My thought process in texting that message what that it was getting late in the evening and I wanted her to be able to read it on her own time. I think her response also should have never been written in a text - very alarming that another adult woman would escalate it in such a medium. That all said, any further conversations regarding this are occurring verbally and preferably in person.  

  2. 38 minutes ago, scottyg said:

    They will likely not rush anything, but take their time to pray about things. The counselor will most likely talk to the other sister as well to ask her how things are going. It is a hard situation because if she is released from YW again she may be hurt further and could take things personally. Regardless of the outcome, there are bridges that need to be mended. Changes in ward leadership almost always come with some degree of drama...we had similar issues in our ward earlier this year, but after open communication and counseling things are going smoother now. With the new program coming in a few months everyone will need to be open to change.

    I wouldn't expect a rushed decision, nor would I want that. I hope they are able to speak with her understand what has happened. I wish I knew what prompted this. I have been physically ill over this, racking my brain trying to recall something I have done or said to prompt this. I have aimed to support everyone in their callings and create a good environment for the girls. I didn't know I had gone so far off track, whether in her mind only or not. 

  3. 3 minutes ago, scottyg said:

    Is the Bishop aware of the situation? Who is the Bishopric counselor over the YW? I would start by talking to him and have him bring up the issue in Bishopric meeting. Although recommendations are asked for, the Bishop and his counselors are the ones who make the decision to call and release individuals in ward callings. Regardless of whether or not she gets released, the spirit does not thrive in a contentious environment. Until a release comes (for the sake of the girls) you need to make sure this sister does feel heard, and is able to help the girls she has stewardship over. Kids are smart...they can see and feel contention.

    I have reached out to the bishopric today. I had been waiting until Sunday after ward council but given that this has only escalated I asked for a conversation to happen today. 

  4. I was called to be the YW president in May and have absolutely loved the calling. I have stellar counselors, a great secretary, and wonderful advisers. WHen I was called, my bishop asked I call a sister from the former presidency to serve as an adviser, particularly because she was so upset about being released and that she is fluent in spanish (we have 2 beehives that speak spanish only). I agreed, knowing he knew her far better than I did. Since, she has been slow to communicate if at all, absent from many meetings without informing others, and most recently has displayed animosity toward me personally, not the presidency (Made that part painfully clear). 

     

    At the beginning of July, the 2nd counselor with whom she works closest (they're over the beehive class together) expressed to me concern of this adviser not attending meetings, planning lessons, or assisting in planning activities. I said I would pray about it and see what actions we might want to take. I expressed in the group altogether that we needed to aim to support one another and that a big part of that is attending activities and Sunday meetings as often as possible. Everyone agreed during in the conversation. 

     

    This week we had a combined activity during which we would be planning 3 separate events coming up that heavily involve all 3 classes. She was not in attendance. I texted in the group text to see if she was coming (I did not have her number saved separately, my mistake) and the second counselor said she had texted her privately before saying she would not be there. Totally fine. I responded "Okay - next time we have a combined activity let's text in the group if we will be absent so we can plan accordingly". Everyone else saw this as a reasonable request. She responded and said she would take into consideration my suggestion. I responded that it would only be fair to all of us to know who will be attending and assisting in combined activities. Again, no one else has had an issue with this. She responded cruelly saying she had to pray about this and said I was contradicting myself constantly and that I clearly do not value any one else's opinions. I asked her if we could take this conversation away from the group.

     

    I apologized very sincerely for upsetting her and any actions I've taken to make her feel any less than critical to the organization. She responded again extremely hatefully, saying she only had a problem with me and not the rest of the presidency and that I just am afraid of losing control so I don't listen to her. Again, I've had limited interaction with this sister outside of combined meetings and combined organizational meetings.

     

    I have, since the beginning, made it my goal to never focus on myself during this calling, but to only focus on the girls and their individual and group needs. I have emphasized the critical role each leader plays in the organization and in the girls' lives/spiritual journeys. I feel physically ill over this, mainly because she has spread this hateful energy to her daughter who serves as beehive president. I feel lost.

     

    I don't feel she can or should serve in the organization if she feels this way about the president, whether I was serving in that capacity or not. However, I do not want her to feel I released her out of retaliation and as a power move. I do not want this energy or dissension in the YW organization. I want a happy and healthy environment for my girls to thrive in. What do I do?!