NeuroTypical

"Wood had been resisting arrest by attempting to bite the officers and lashing out with his feet."Anyone who thinks this guy is a victim, please tell me if you have a better option. When trying to arrest someone intent on causing a policeman harm, perhaps you would prefer the police club him into a concussion-induced submission, or maybe just shoot him? Tasers are wonderful tools. They subdue someone resisting arrest without having to injure them almost all the time. Stories like this are the rarest of exceptions. Without tasers, the police have two options: 1- Apprehend using methods more likely to cause injury (either to the LEO or the arrestee or both). 2- Let the guy go. The secret to making this all work, is to have a way to expose and stop bad cops from misusing the tools at their disposal. If that's not the case, you have a problem with the legal framework, not the taser. LM

My wife has suffered from all sorts of mental issues her whole life, including depression. Few things get her mad faster than hearing stories like your husband. From her point of view, you should not take any crap from him whatsoever. He's had the counseling, he's experienced the level playing field that comes from the correct meds, it's his choice to sit on his rear end and refuse to be healthy. Important: He is not "suffering from depression", he is CHOOSING to suffer from depression. My wife recommends a zero-tolerance policy for that crappy behavior - especially from a parent of dependent children. (Now, I'm not so severe in my opinions as my wife is. But I thought her opinion should carry more weight, since she actually deals with the problems you say your husband deals with.) LM [edit - just read Misshalfway's post - sounds like there's two votes. (I don't think Misshalfway is my wife... :))]

Side note, but this thread helped me come to understand that the King Follett Discourse, and the Wentworth Letter, are two different things. (I probably should have know that years ago, but I'm a bit thick in the skull...) LM

Yeah! No mormons drowned on the Titanic, now were they! I like that one.

Interesting advice. When I stopped paying tithing and went inactive, they all left me alone for 6 years until I decided to come back on my own. I used to hometeach an inactive guy who had been disfellowshipped. I say 'hometeach', but since he really wasn't comfortable with visits, I mailed him a letter every month for several years. Of course, pleading with the Lord continually is excellent advice - we could all stand to incorporate that advice into our lives more. And following that advice might very well place you before the door you need to open and walk through, to get where you need to be. LM

I've heard it maybe 3 or 4 times in the last 30 years. It's an urban legend - passed around like it's true, but it isn't.The most memorable variation: Missionaries are not allowed on beaches because Satan will take control of their minds and make them drown themselves. LM (played with an Ouija board once... )

Please do consider the folks at LDS Social Services. Here in Colorado, we've availed ourselves of those folks a few times over the years. We found what you are asking for - someone with a foundation in church teachings, but very well versed in modern therapy techniques. It was never 'churchy'.They are not representatives of the church. They are licensed professionals who got a job working for a company owned by the church. They respect and maintain confidentiality based on relevant laws and professional ethics. And no, you don't need to talk to your Bishop to go there (unless you want church help in paying for it.) Our Bishop only heard we were going there because we mentioned it to him in passing. LM

+32%. That's how much value my retirement and kid's college savings have gained since DMUCMU told us to get out of the stock market. Dang, I'm glad I didn't listen to him. LM

I'm all for it. Give me a box to stand on, and listen as I shout:"I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ, and I believe that peace and joy in this world is best obtained by bending my will to His! I'm teaching my two girls to dress modestly and remain celebate until marriage! (They also won't be dating until they're 16.) We believe the definition of marriage is that one guy marries a girl, and anything else is not to be called a marriage! I'm teaching them that the guy should earn the living and the girl should raise the kids! Now who wants to come shower me with acceptance of my diversity? Form a line now, no pushing or shoving!" [A hearty debate then ensues, on why the posters hanging everywhere are damnable lies.] LM (For extra credit, maybe I could also issue forth a zinger like this one.)

I'm sure we haven't forgotten 9/11 that quickly...

Question - which priesthood did you hold? Bishops usually deal with Aaronic, Stake Presidents usually deal with Melchizedek. Bug them. Weekly if necessary. I mean, if it's due to their inaction, then bug them as often as it takes. Call the executive seceretary and ask for 15 minutes every week. Of course, I must consider that there's a great big honkin' The Rest Of The Story going on here. I'm not presuming anything, but when an anonymous poster on some message board tells me that two bishops in a row have done them wrong, I gotta consider the possibility that there's another side to this story. I gotta consider the posibility that neither Bishop has been dragging their feet, they've both been doing their jobs and trying to help you folks through the repentence process. If that's the case, perhaps it would be better to address what's really going on. You haven't shared why you were disfellowshipped, or the current state of your repentence process. You mention faithful church attendence, paying tithing, and family scripture study - that's all good stuff of course, but rather meaningless if there's some other thing standing in the way of being a disciple of Christ. In other words, there's no way to game the system just so you can appear worthy by baptizing your daughter. But yeah, I wouldn't accept feet-dragging. There is an explanation out there, and if you truly don't have it, your kid's upcoming baptism demands that you get it. LM

There is a lot of disinformation out there about what LDS beliefs are in the first place. It is possible to have innocent questions wrapped up in such disinformation. Questions like "you do know Joseph Smith was a fraud, right?", or "So, why are you polytheists like the Egyptians", or "Why do you shun family members who leave your church" may spring from innocent ignorance, or they may be hurled jabs from people who want to start a fight and make us look like the aggressors.Anyway, dealing with such questions isn't easy for anyone, therefore, a lot of LDS folks aren't good at it either. LM

If that's your decision, you are going about it in the right way.Let us know how it goes. LM

Why not just send them over to the Mormon Apologetic Discussion Board - so they can find mormons who are perfectly happy to engage such folks? In years past, I was really big on seeking out criticisms of my faith, to see if there was anything to them. I spent years on such boards. It was a great experience. LM

I consider one factor in how small or large a disaster is, to be how far away help is. If life is running along normally, a cell phone and cash have made up for just about every disaster we've encountered while away from home. Because food, shelter, and first responders are as close as the situation warrants.

Lattelady's story is an example of why I often make the non-serious claim that I don't like the mormons. Yeah, I know that it's probably more a cultural thing than a mormon thing. Yeah, I know that our church doesn't teach that sort of shoddy behavior. Yeah, I know that Americans in general just have lost touch with what it means to know your neighbors and be friends with people who live next door to you. But at the end of the day, it seems like you can't swing a dead cat in a predominantly LDS neighborhood without hearing a similar story from a similar person who seems similarly nice. We're supposed to be better than that. 'Love thy neighbor' and all that. Joke: Man: I drink a cup of coffee every morning. It brings great benefits! Offended mormon: Goodness! All that tannic acid and harmful chemicals and whatnot! What benefits could you possibly be talking about? Man: Well, for one thing, it keeps you from being Mormon. LM

My own totally undoctrinal, off the cuff answer: Don't tell Dad how to handle His own kids. Not only is it presumptive, but it's also none of our business. (This advice covers people all bent out of shape when parents give the bad sibling a bigger chunk of the inheritance, too.) LM

You don't really have to restrict yourself to biblical times, to study populations without power. Electricity wasn't even a big hit in America until the early-mid 20th century. There are plenty of people in third-world countries (and plenty of places in China, for that matter) where you can't find a light switch or an air conditioning unit for 300 miles in any direction.It's a common discussion topic amongst the preparadness-minded - what would happen if [insert your own favorite disaster scenario here] knocked out power for [insert your favorite timeframe here]. Apart from camping, I personally have gone maybe 3 days without power at home, in the middle of winter blizards, and we did ok, because we were prepared. Not sure how we'd do for a month, or a year. LM

Ew. Who wants to go to a ward where people check up on you because it's their responsibility? I'd rather have people check up on me because they care. And forming caring relationships is a two way street, partner. In my late teens, I stopped going to church. I got a call from someone checking up on me. It was incredibly obvious someone had assigned him the job of checking up on me and trying to buddy up with me. All it did was reinforce my decision to go inactive. Of course, nowadays, I understand that to be missed, you actually have to be 'missable', and that means making friends and forming relationships, and that's something that falls on my plate and nobody else's. LM

See, that's why Shrek rocks - it tells the rest of the story. Shrek I: They get married Shrek II: They fight over in-laws and sleep in seperate rooms and dabble with reinventing themselves Shrek III: They find out she's pregnant and he deals with fears of inadequacy LM

We do something like this, as daddy is parking the cars after coming home. "You can get out if you want, but don't let me run you over."

Good topic. I've only seen someone tremble with rage once in my life. It was a guy who had moved out of the small, struggling ward I lived in. He was a good guy, and while he was in the ward, he did the work of basically four or five callings. When he returned for a visit, he was shocked to discover the new Ward Clerk had stopped running a certain quarterly report. The report was only useful when everyone used it, and nobody had used it for a long time, so the clerk didn't bother running it. The guy trembled with rage. Seriously, I thought he was going to become violent. In a cracking, barely-controlled voice, the guy let the new ward clerk know that the general handbook specifically talked about that report, and said it should be produced quarterly. He told the clerk that his stewardship was running the report, and that it was none of the clerk's business if it contained data or not, or even if the Bishop ever looked at it. It Was His Job To Print The Report And Hand It To The Bishop. Case closed, end of story. I personally am very much a spirit of the law guy. I do struggle with the behavior MissHalfway describes. The sarcastic comments I need to control, often revolve around people doing what they're supposed to without (in my unrighteous mind) sufficient understanding of why they're doing them. (The recent thread on R-rated movies edited for TV is a good example) I hope I'm not as bad as the rage filled guy was. LM

Random thoughts: * I'm all for y'all taking the sacrament with whatever hand you see fit. I don't mind you suggesting I do it too, and mentioning blessings y'all might see me having if I chose to comply. If you can stop there, we're fine. If you figure there's something wrong with me for using my left hand, that's where we might have a disagreement. * I'm happy if y'all take joy and symbolic meaning about how the sacrament is administered, what with the fancy tablecloth being lifted up and the deacons looking their best and all. Just know that the scriptures only indicate three symbolic elements - the bread, the water, and the guy saying the prayer kneels. Anything else is optional, IMO. * I once participated in an endowment session led by a guy with a disfigured right hand with missing or crooked fingers. He did everything an endowment session leader would normally do. LM

Distance without vindictiveness? Absolutely. My wife and I have distanced ourselves from her parents, because they are harmful to us, and dangers to our kids. My wife and I both have had to travel a difficult road to find forgiveness for them, but we traveled that road. Niether of us are vindictive. We both hope and pray that someday, they can be healthy enough to no longer be dangers to our kids. Distance without respect? Well, that depends on what sort of respect you're talking about. We respect them as fellow sons and daughters of God, inheriters of divine birthrights. We share parts of my wife's upbringing with them that are edifying and positive with our kids. We honor them as parents, like the commandment says, and we love them like the other commandment says, to the best of our ability. But no, we have no respect (or tolerance) for their actions and harmful behaviors. Nor should we. I guess a direct answer to your question is "Yes, it's possible, but sometimes it's dang hard. When people have done horrible things, it's important to find ways to respect them that do not condone their choices." How's that? Yeah, it's one reason why physical and sexual abuse the elderly is so difficult to detect and stop. LM