notquiteperfect

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  1. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from without_you in DVD of Joseph Smith's life   
    try this: 
     
    there's a button for subtitles on the bottom right
     
    Enjoy!
  2. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from LiterateParakeet in It's football time again!!   
    The underdog ... at the Super Bowl.
  3. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from seashmore in Bullying at Church   
    It's not just a problem with the youth.  I know of two adults who had no business working with kids!  
    As far as what leaders can do - set aside the "we're supposed to be nice" idea and remember that Christ cleared out the temple.  In other words, do whatever needs to be done.
  4. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from Sunday21 in Is it acceptable for a housewife to..   
    Quote - I have asked him again and again why he is this way? His answer is: You would have to do all of this if you were single, so what is the difference?
     
    Well then, Iggy - what I would do is act like I'm single.  Cook only for myself, watch what I want to watch when I want to watch it, listen to what I want to listen to, etc., etc.  Until he steps up, I wouldn't!
     
    He may be 72 but that's not too old to learn new tricks.
  5. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from TalkativeIntrovert12345 in Fifty shades of black and blue and grey?   
    I'm quiet on the topic because I don't want to give this garbage any more attention than it has unfortunately already gotten.
  6. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from David13 in Are the brain-related differences between men and women part of Satan's attack on the family?   
    Wow!  A few points - 
     
    -It's only part of "Satan's attack" if you let it be!  he only has as much power as you give him. (lowercase on purpose)
    -Yes, we are different but God created men and women so there's probably very good reasons for these differences!
    -If everyone thought, felt, acted the same then what growth would there ever be?
    -My husband and I are *very* different but - hold on - we have a GREAT relationship and he would never agree with your belief that "these differences are nothing but ... detriments".  In fact, he finds my way of thinking fascinating and amusing.
     
    One last thought - you are the one that *chooses* to see things like this.  If you decide to look at things more positively, you'll find different results.
  7. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from Blackmarch in Must converts serve missions?   
    True but sometimes the longer you postpone it, the easier to forego it.  (Just putting that out there)
  8. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from LiterateParakeet in Must converts serve missions?   
    I can understand why a 17 yo convert may need more time to wrap their head around the idea (and thus not go at 18) but yes, the obligation is the same for all able-bodied men (as far as I know anyway).  It is not uncommon for young men at this age to have reservations (whether convert or not) so I would suggest he talk to his bishop about it.  Furthermore, maybe he was prompted to join the Church sooner rather than later so he would have the chance to serve.  You never know!  Also, has he gotten his Patriarchal Blessing?  That could help with the decision as well.  Just a thought.
  9. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from carlimac in Is PMS comparable to infidelity?   
    I'm not a fan of thread highjacks so I won't respond to everyone individually but to those that took what I said out of context (whether intimacy or housework responsibilities) I really don't appreciate it.  I'll just figure I hit a nerve (or two) but please be more aware in the future.
  10. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from Jane_Doe in Is PMS comparable to infidelity?   
    Omega - Kids should have chores and enough of them that they aren't shocked when they reach adulthood and have to do their fair share.  Also, see my response to Vort above just so we're on the same page.  
    Stay-at-home moms are busy, too.  They're not sitting around twiddling their thumbs.  So, quite frankly, a 'mom's job' is to teach and one way to do that is to delegate the tasks at hand.
  11. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from David13 in Moving to Utah   
    I have two siblings that live in St George/Santa Clara so I've visited there a number of times.  I prefer green over red but they love it.  I also have another sibling that moved there to be closer to them but didn't even last a year - it wasn't for her and she didn't see them as often as she thought she would.  
     
    Anyway, if you feel 'called' to a certain place, there's probably a reason and you'll never know how it will really go till you act. If you do move, I hope it works out even better than you hope.  Good luck.
  12. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from carlimac in Is PMS comparable to infidelity?   
    You mentioned that you're a stay at home MOM so no, it's not "your job to keep the house neat and tidy" - it's the kids! How else are they going to learn and be ready to be on their own and be good companions/roommates/spouses?
     
    With that said, it sounds like you don't ask him to help out enough during non-pms times.  If he were helping more, he wouldn't complain about it during that time of the month.  As far as 'no intimacy' playing a part - he should be able to handle a week (didn't he have to handle more than that after having the kids - assuming they weren't adopted?).  
     
    So basically, I'd turn this into 2 weeks than 3 etc till he got a clue.  Honestly, you're doing him no favors by doing too much. I know a couple who is currently apart (valid reasons) and the husband has no clue how to clean up after himself, etc. and the wife doesn't want to go visit because she doesn't want to have to play 'maid'...
     
    Also, did your husband not grow up with a mom or sisters?  If so, this shouldn't be a new concept for him.  Maybe he needs a reminder.
     
    I'd be telling him that you need support not attitude and give him a glimpse that it could (and might) be worse.
  13. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from carlimac in Is PMS comparable to infidelity?   
    OK - if that's what you're after - 
    Yes, I experience PMS but luckily for me (and hubby) not for an entire week.  I won't go into what I deal with physically but all I have to do his let my husband know it's the "time of the month" and he knows to be a bit more understanding, etc.  He knows that until he goes a day every month feeling like he's been punched in the gut or stabbed in the back, he doesn't have room to complain about it.
    Also, as mentioned previously - magnesium may be helpful.
  14. Like
    notquiteperfect reacted to Capitalist_Oinker in Church's Stance on Disfellowship and Excommunciation   
    I’ve been following  this thread for the past week or so, and having quite a bit of personal experience with disciplinary councils (both bishop and stake) I've wanted to participate. But I've been reluctant due to the fact that I couldn't see a way to do the subject justice without a lengthy post. 
    I've decided to give it a shot, and while long, hopefully my post won’t be a waste of space.
     
    I don't have an exact count, but I'm guessing I've been involved in somewhere around 18 (front end) disciplinary councils. None resulted in probation, one resulted in no action (temporarily), two resulted in disfellowshipment, and the rest resulted in excommunication.
     
    Certain sins require a mandatory disciplinary council, but for the most part the decision is left up to the Bishop or Stake Presidency based upon various conditions and circumstances. The bishop and his counselors normally handle cases involving women and non-Melchizedek Priesthood holders. If the case may result in the excommunication of a man who holds the Melchizedek Priesthood (particularly if he has been endowed) the case is transferred to the Stake.
     
    Palerider wrote: “Another thing....there are some leaders who don't enjoy Displinary Councils and they will do what they can not to hold them.”
     
    This is true. In fact I have seen bishops bend over backwards to avoid holding a disciplinary council; ignoring egregious situations until a Stake President literally had to say "do it or else!" 
    It's been my experience that the most difficult cases, and the ones most bishops try to avoid, are those that involve women who have committed fornication or adultery. It doesn’t take much imagination to understand why.
    Three men sitting in a room alone with a woman who is confessing to such things is extremely uncomfortable for all involved.
    Been there, done that, and don't wish to ever do it again.
     
    The thing I really wanted to touch on though is the concept of the "double standard" that a few here have postured.
     
    In regards to that I'll note what priesthoodpower wrote: "I would think that the church DC is the same thing and the Bishop/Stake Pres/council members are listening to the spirit as their guiding factor."
     
    Listening to the Spirit SHOULD, and I believe in most cases IS the guiding factor. And sometimes that results in actions that appear to be unfair (or a double standard) in the eyes of those who see things only through a "glass darkly" so to speak.
    I'll give you an example. 
     
    While I was serving on a Stake High Council we had a case before us respecting a gentleman who at the time was serving as a bishop’s counselor. The man had been in an adulterous relationship for quite some time before it was discovered, whereupon he was released from his position in the bishopric and subsequently a disciplinary council was convened. 
    The man refused to appear before the council, but he did send a letter, which was read by the Stake President (minus the 4-letter words). The letter informed us that he no longer believed in the Church, no longer wanted to be a part of it, had no plans to leave his adulterous relationship, and that all 15 of us were more than welcome to do something anatomically impossible.
     
    After reading the letter the Stake president opened the meeting up to comments and concerns. Those who wished to speak did so, it was determined that the case was a "simple one", numbers were drawn to determine who would speak in behalf of the Church and the accused, the two men who drew the numbers had their say, and the Stake Presidency retired to an office to pray about a decision. 
    While they were gone the members of the High Council discussed the case among themselves and it was clear we were all in agreement---the man HAD to be excommunicated.
    After quite some time the Stake President and his counselors returned to the room. The Stake President then said words to this effect:
    "Brethren, we have supplicated our Father in Heaven for His guidance in this matter and we want only to do his will. And the three of us agree that it is NOT the will of our father in Heaven that Bro. _____________ be excommunicated at this time. Therefore we propose that no action be taken against him until we receive further instructions."
     
    You could have heard a gnat burp in that room at that moment. All twelve of us were dumbfounded. None of us could believe what we had just heard. 
    The Stake President then went on to say words to this effect: "Brethren, we understand this decision doesn't make much sense to you, and honestly it doesn't make much sense to us, but we believe the Lord has spoken and we ask for your sustaining vote."
    The vote was unanimous to sustain the decision, and we all left the meeting in complete bewilderment.
    What was even more bewildering is that the woman who Bro._________ was having the adulterous relationship with WAS excommunicated! 
     
    Fast forward about four months later.
    Another disciplinary council is convened. 
    We arrive not knowing what it will be about.
    We find out soon enough that it pertains to Bro. __________ who sent us the nasty letter four months previous.
    This time, however, he is present at the meeting with his bishop in tow.
    His bishop relates the story about Bro. ___________ receiving notice (from him) that the decision was NOT to excommunicate him. 
    He tells us that when Bro______________ received that information he proceeded to break down and bawl like a little child. The bishop tells us that his entire demeanor changed and he suddenly became humble and penitent.
    Over the next four months Bro.________ made further changes until he was finally ready to appear willingly before another disciplinary council. 
    And there he was; standing before us a changed man.
    And the story he told was heart wrenching. 
    And his closing remarks were humbling to all of us.
     
    He said: "Brethren, I just want you to know that I know that you were following God’s will when you declined to excommunicate me four months ago. I was angry and bitter and hateful and I couldn't wait to be free from God and this Church. And had you excommunicated me I do not believe I would be standing here right now. When the bishop told me that you had decided not to excommunicate me something changed within me. I don't really understand it and I don't know how to describe it, but all of the hurt and hate and anger just melted away and I no longer wanted to be without God and the Church in my life. I am here today to tell you that I am now ready to be excommunicated if that is what needs to take place for me to come back, and as a matter of fact, I believe it does.”
     
    And he was excommunicated.
    And he did come back and was rebaptized.
    And as far as I know he is still in full fellowship with God and the Church.
     
    The point I want to make with this story is that there were many people in his ward and within the Stake who knew of this man, knew his circumstances, and were extremely put out when his girlfriend was excommunicated while he wasn't. For four months we endured wholesale carping and murmuring from members who decried the "double standard". 
     
    Now I'm not going to claim that every decision to excommunicate or not to excommunicate comes from God.
    Obviously Bishops and Stake Presidents aren't infallible.
    But what I will say is that all of us need to be careful before pronouncing a "double standard" when it comes to disciplinary councils. 
    We should remember that God's ways are higher than our ways; and his thoughts higher than our thoughts. And since none of us knows what goes on in a disciplinary council that we have no part in, we should be willing to give a bishopric or a stake presidency and high council the benefit of the doubt.
  15. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from carlimac in Is PMS comparable to infidelity?   
    You mentioned that you're a stay at home MOM so no, it's not "your job to keep the house neat and tidy" - it's the kids! How else are they going to learn and be ready to be on their own and be good companions/roommates/spouses?
     
    With that said, it sounds like you don't ask him to help out enough during non-pms times.  If he were helping more, he wouldn't complain about it during that time of the month.  As far as 'no intimacy' playing a part - he should be able to handle a week (didn't he have to handle more than that after having the kids - assuming they weren't adopted?).  
     
    So basically, I'd turn this into 2 weeks than 3 etc till he got a clue.  Honestly, you're doing him no favors by doing too much. I know a couple who is currently apart (valid reasons) and the husband has no clue how to clean up after himself, etc. and the wife doesn't want to go visit because she doesn't want to have to play 'maid'...
     
    Also, did your husband not grow up with a mom or sisters?  If so, this shouldn't be a new concept for him.  Maybe he needs a reminder.
     
    I'd be telling him that you need support not attitude and give him a glimpse that it could (and might) be worse.
  16. Like
    notquiteperfect reacted to Jane_Doe in Sharing testimony with Evangelical MIL   
    A little bit of a story with a happy ending to share--
     
    For me, the most difficult part about being in an interfaith marriage is not the non-member husband, but handling the evangelical mother-in-law that comes with him.  When hubby and I started dating, MIL was a huge fan of me… except for my “Mormon problem”.  Needless to say religion has been a rocky subject.
     
    To learn about Mormonism, MIL signed up for a class on the subject at her church, entitled “Mormonism and the Evil Cults” (or something like that).  She got a lot of bad information, and doesn’t really listen to what I say because she honestly thinks I’m brainwashed and hell-bound (roll eyes). Though, to be fair to her, I haven’t been perfect on the issue (like not inviting her far enough in advance to baby girl’s blessing). 
     
    Anyway, the purpose of this post is to celebrate: last night we chatted and had a great discussion sharing testimonies.  I learned a lot more about her and feel that she learned a lot more about me.  Not only did she not stone me for sharing me testimony, she liked it!  I’m still kind of in “wow” shock….
     
     
    Just wanted to share good news with you all J.
  17. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from Jane_Doe in Is PMS comparable to infidelity?   
    Omega - Kids should have chores and enough of them that they aren't shocked when they reach adulthood and have to do their fair share.  Also, see my response to Vort above just so we're on the same page.  
    Stay-at-home moms are busy, too.  They're not sitting around twiddling their thumbs.  So, quite frankly, a 'mom's job' is to teach and one way to do that is to delegate the tasks at hand.
  18. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from Jane_Doe in Is PMS comparable to infidelity?   
    notquiteperfect, on 10 Mar 2015 - 08:02 AM, said:
    Speaking only for this snippet quoted above, this might be the worst advice possible. Never use sex as a bargaining tool or withhold it as a punishment. That is like 180 degrees from what you should ever be doing. Terrible, terrible idea.
     
    Vort - You cut off the rest of that paragraph that talked about having him help around the house more.  It was a separate paragraph for a reason.
  19. Like
    notquiteperfect reacted to pam in What do you think about WoW?   
    As to whether or not the Word of Wisdom is a commandment, here is what Boyd K. Packer says:
     
    While the revelation came first as a “greeting; not by commandment or constraint” (D&C 89:2), when members of the Church had had time to be taught the import of the revelation, succeeding Presidents of the Church declared it to be a commandment. And it was accepted by the Church as such.
     
    The Word of Wisdom:  The Principle and the Promises
  20. Like
    notquiteperfect reacted to prisonchaplain in What's General Conference without a stand from some group   
    I continue to be amazed at those who consider themselves to be faithful LDS, but who seek support and comfort for their issues of contention from secular media.  I read the OP article at the realclearreligion website.  In-house church battles are never pleasant, but when they get aired out in Caesar's arena, it is truly sad.
  21. Like
    notquiteperfect got a reaction from Leah in Recommending Church Dress Patterns   
    Uhh - what about buying or making some skirts?  They're very versatile and I'm sure you could find the right size at a decent price or make ones that are simple and easy.  Just tossing that out there.
  22. Like
    notquiteperfect reacted to Vort in What do you think about WoW?   
    No, he didn't. He could have told the truth. And he could also have stopped drinking coffee.
  23. Like
    notquiteperfect reacted to pam in What do you think about WoW?   
    Sounds like an attempt to justify to me.  Does Heavenly Father love you when you drink coffee or tea?  Yes.  Is he unhappy about it?  Yes.  
  24. Like
    notquiteperfect reacted to LiterateParakeet in Sleeping In Separate Rooms   
    I think the snorer...who refuses to seek medical advice (sleep apnea can be dangerous and you don't HAVE to be overweight) . . . should be the one to take the couch.
  25. Like
    notquiteperfect reacted to priesthoodpower in Are LDS as 'judgmental' as Evangelicals are? Maybe you should be!   
    I had the same way of thinking as you for a long time until I watched a documentary on a protestant pastor on netflix (the overnighters).
     
    pastor: "you are going to have to cut your hair, appearance is everything in this town"
     
    homeless man looking for a job: "why? Jesus had long hair"
     
    pastor: "Jesus didnt have our neighbors"