Edelweiss

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Everything posted by Edelweiss

  1. I know it's been a while. I was coming back to delete my account, but apparently that's impossible. I was referring to this quote above me. That was extremely hurtful. How can I even want to come back when someone like that MODERATES the forums?
  2. I came here for emotional support, and now people are calling me a sinner. I cam here, hoping I could find someone who understands what I'm going through. Of course I'll forgive her, eventually. Some of you, actually did help me, and made good points. I understand I shouldn't have bud in, but I'll tell you exactly what I sent her. "(SIL), I know you wouldn't listen to my anger, but just think about this. What you're feeling right now is a high. It's temporary happiness. When I was 19, I was rebellious. Maybe not now, but I promise you're going to regret this. You may think this isn't the life for you, but you can't just run away from it all. You chose this. You made promises. Please don't run away from your family, (SIL). I've seen it happen way too much in my life. I'm not going to see it happen again. Please come back to (Name), (Name), & (Name). They love you. We all love you. What you've done is selfish. Being single is not what it's cracked up to be. The world is a horrible place. Family is where true happiness & safety is." I know I shouldn't have sent anything at all, but what's done is done. What she did, didn't just affect her husband and children. It affected her entire family. It's ok to worry about family isn't it? Anyway, this will be my last post. I will go elsewhere, where I won't be judged by those in charge. Thank You to those who gave me your advice, and didn't judge me. I was angry when I posted that yesterday.
  3. So let me explain the situation, that has not yet happened. My husband and I just got married 3 weeks ago today. He'sin college, and I'm not. I just got a job, which is good, because I've been really depressed, because he's always doing school work even on the weekends. School is a 45 min. drive, and gas prices are high. The reason we don't live near the school, is because he doesn't have a job, and I just recently got a minimum wage job. So we're living in a studio apartment attached to his parent's house. Not how I planned starting out our lives together, but if we were actually IN with them, it would be a lot worse. So at least we have our privacy a little. It's been really hard for me adjusting to this new life style. And I feel like the only depressed newlywed. All my other friends who are married, tell me how much they love married life. They're both in school though. I'm not, which makes me feel useless and inferior at times. So my husband gets a call from his sister, who has a 1 yr. old, and expecting this summer. Her husband is in college, and she stays at home, so they are in a tighter spot than we are. He's applying to the university my husband is in, and she was wanting to save some money and all of us get a 3 bedroom apartment together. I panicked at the idea. I started imagining all these scenarios. I mean, they're going to have a newborn AND a 1 yr. old. I want kids, but I'm not ready to have them as immediately as she did. I have never liked being pressured into anything. People at church keep asking us when we're going to have some little ones. I'm about to loose it. I don't want to have a baby because I feel like I have to. I want to have when, when "I" want to. I'm a little rebellious in the fact that when someone tells me to do something like getting married, or having a baby, I refuse to! Just in spite of them. I need time to adjust to living with a guy first. It's too much for me to handle having a baby right away, and they are expensive, and we have hardly any money, and then I'll be stuck with his in-laws. His Mom kinda annoys me sometimes, which I haven't told him. Anyway, it's just a possibility, but I'm stressing and freaking out over it. My husband is totally ok with it. Of course he is. It's his sister, and his best friend. I don't feel as close. Plus, I don't think I'll ever wants kids of my own, with someone else's constantly around me. Can someone please give me some advice. Am I overreacting? Is there anyway this will work, where I'll still want to have children of my own afterwards? I'm really scared, because I'm the only person who's against it.
  4. Thank you so much, Tarnished. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Your words are very true. I think the reason a lot of us are rushed into love, is because of people. I have a fault with seeing all these happy couples, and never having that of my own. And then family and friends always asking me, so you have someone special? You dating anyone? Or When are you going to get married? yadda yadda yadda. I try to ignore it..it's difficult, but I'll keep trying. It helps that I'm in a singles ward with people actually older than me, and single..So I don't feel so alone, than when I was in my family ward, back home. It's just going to take some time. Thank you for your response. *hug* Thank you for all your responses. I think yesterday when I read them, I wasn't ready to take in what I didn't want to hear...even though I knew all along really. Thank you all. This morning I think I'm ready to begin to let go.
  5. Oh, and i don't have a job yet, where I've moved, and I haven't started school, so I have nothing to occupy my mind right now...So it sucks.
  6. Well thanks for your reply...I honestly have to say I don't really feel any better, but thank you anyway. I understand what you mean...I know I'm 19 and still young, and I think what troubles me most is that my siblings are between the ages of 25-30 and still unmarried, and I guess it scares me to be alone for the rest of my life. Ok, now that makes it sound like I'm itching for someone, but before I met this guy, I hadn't been interested in anyone for over a year. I'm not picky, it's just I'm so different from everyone that it's difficult for me to find any guys that I connect with...which is why this one was so rare for me. And Like all the times before never is going anywhere. I've almost decided to give up. I've been getting hurt my whole dating years..and before that...sure that's not long, but I'm so sick of relationships never working out. I feel I've never had a decent, happy relationship in my life. I thought that at LEAST have a bloody chance...but nope! Not again...so I feel like any guy who starts getting close to me, I just want to push him away. I'm afraid to get hurt. I'm sick of the pain. I mean did people have been getting married since the beginning of time....has it always been this hard. It seems that people are more focused on school and work than...love. I know that school is important, but what are you going to do when you're alone after school?
  7. I thought I'd post this here, so any adults who are wiser with this subject may help. Because I don't feel any YSA could help me now. No offense. That's why adults and older individuals are so awesome. so much knowledge and experience. On May 1st 2009, I thought I was just going to a fun YSA activity. Little did I know, I'd meet the most wonderful guy ever...who would lead me to me to feel so much pain...and yet so much joy and absolute contentedness when I talk to him. A few weeks before, my friend from AL, told me they were having a YSA activity, that was supposed to be a total blast. At first i wasn't sure about going, or if I'd even be able to get work off..almost didn't. I figured this would be a great time for me to spend time with her since she moved away from me for school..plus have a little fun, right? No harm..right? So me and another friend head over to stay with her for the weekend. That night we attend this awesome activity. We got rollerskating, laser tag, all great stuff. We then head over to the church to have some refreshments. This is where I meet him. I had won these micro mini Uno cards. I walk over to show my friend, and he notices. Him sitting at the end of the table. He speaks up saying how small they are, and then I walk over to introduce myself. He immediately mentions how much he loves my hair. I have colored it red recently. He asked if it was my natural color..hehe I tell him the truth. He then asks if we can play Uno. I go get some food and come back, and me, him, and another girl play it. He then pulls that one hilarious, smooooooth line.."Some people collect stamps..I collect phone numbers." hahaha So I find him funny and all, and give him my number. Well a couple of weeks go by, and I find out that my sister and brother found a house for us to live in, where I have been planning on moving. Well he finds out and decides he wants to visit for a weekend. Well he comes and he's just so awesome, goofy, funny, sweet. Well I can tell he likes me too...it's so obvious it IS funny. Anyway, he comes to see me for a day before i leave..he's two hours away btw. Well we have a great day together...anyway when he gets back, we're talking online one night. And I say too bad, I'll be 4 hours away, and he says. "Yeah don't remind me. But we can still be friends." My heart cracks. I have already let my guard down...and fallen head over heels, and he sticks his foot out and I fall flat on my face into concrete. I'm not one to forget about things easily, and it bothers me that he was so into me, and all the sudden he hits me with this. I tell him that i thought we were both interested in each other. He says he does like me, but doesn't think it's a good idea for him to be in a relationship right now, because he's about to start flight school in the army. So we have a long discussion. I get depressed for some weeks. And we talk almost every night, and he greets me with things like "Hello beautiful." And he obviously likes me I THINK as much as I do for him. My dilemma is, he's going to be stationed in AL for 1 year and a half - 2 yrs. So I want to just go to school and work, and see how things go...but I'm not a patient person...so should I just completely forget about him? How can I forget someone I connected with so perfectly though? I tried desperately not to have feelings for him, mainly because he's in the Army and could leave to who knows where after these 2 years...But I feel it's impossible to control the heart. I hate it. And there's times when I wish I never met him, even though he's been such a good influence on me, and it's hard to want to only be friends with him. *Sigh* I feel really immature right now. I sound like some naive teenager don't I? I just need to learn how to close my heart, and not let anyone in I guess...because I am naive...naive and a fool.. Anyway..if anyone has some great advice, or has any situations similar to this for me..I'd appreciate it.
  8. Hi there, I actually joined quite a while ago..and I had a question, but not knowing exactly what category to post it in, I thought I'd just post it in my introductory. I was just wondering..Has anyone ever heard of an atheist joining the Church? I have two atheist friends, and they are really good people, and i wonder if one day something my touch them in a way that they may see the light. Is this even possible? From how much doubt about it they have, I dunno. Does anyone know any atheists joining the church? Were you at one time? I'm just curious, really. Thank you, OG