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  1. A family member has opened up to me and has expressed that he may be at risk for excommunication. He is going to be seen by a church disciplinary council soon. Although he did some things he wasn't supposed to I know he is a wonderful person and that while it hurts to be in this situation, everything will still be ok. He has expressed the same sentiments. He and I were wondering about how long (if he were to be excommunicated) would it take to be rebaptized? And later to receive his endowments again? We also would like to know, what is some good advice to follow while he tries to comeback. Church articles on excommunication, personal experiences anyone is willing to share, church music etc. He is already eager and seeking ways to help himself to become worthy once again. Thank you in advance to those who can offer some more enlightenment, and prepare him for what may or may not happen. *note; he understands the gravity of the situation and is being judged by wonderful, inspired, loving, compassionate, priesthood holders. I beg that we do not judge him, or share personal opinion. Please post positive things, doctrine, and sincere help. Thank you
  2. I'm a recent Mormon convert. I'm open to the possibility of going on a mission, if I gain a greater understanding and testimony of the Church, as I've found the missionaries very helpful and I'd like to offer the same support to other people. Get more people interested in the church. Unfortunately, I'm 21 and currently unemployed. The cut-off point for going on a mission is age 23, so I'm going to have to save up my money between now and then. What prices are involved in going on a mission? 1. Travel expenses (eg the plane from area-to-area) 2. Do I pay rent for the place me and my companion stay in 3. How much food do I need? I usually only eat one meal a day, which only costs me 2 euro, and I'll probably be invited to some church member's houses from time to time for dinner, so I'm guessing I won't need much money for food? 4. Do I get to buy some stuff for myself, while on a mission (eg new clothes, books etc)? 5. Do I pay tithing while on a mission? 6. Do I have access to my bank account while on mission or do I need to have all the money gathered beforehand? 7. Are there any fees I have to pay up-front to register as a missionary? 8. Are there any other expenses that I haven't factored in? Basically I'm trying to figure out how much it would cost me. I use euros btw.
  3. I'm getting baptised soon. Unfortunately, I've developed something of a crush on one of the missionaries. We're both the same age - in our late teens - and he just happens to be particularly good-looking. I've tried to not let it distract me during our lessons together, and I generally try to talk to other missionaries and church members during church events like the weekly sports matches, I try to talk to other people instead of him so that my crush on him doesn't serve as a distraction. However, when we're talking - such as when he's trying to teach me stuff during the lessons - I find it very difficult to look at him or maintain eye contact. I know such crushes are unlawful but I can't get rid of it. Any advice on how to deal with it? One of the annoying things about it is that I am asexual - I feel absolutely no desire to have sex with anybody - but I still get crushes on people.
  4. Oh dear, I truly am terribly sorry to bring such negativity in what seems to be an exceptionally bright and lively forum, however I'm afraid that my husband and I are quite lost. As devout members of the Mormon church, truly, our wishes have always lied in the saving of young souls, through although, recently, our son of fourteen years has declared himself as atheist, through a rather lengthy letter which described why he felt a disconnect towards the Mormon religion. Included within it, he mentioned that he felt as though our consistent Mormon outings were rather harmful to him, and the cause for his often sullen and irritable mood. Also mentioned, were several debunked pieces of Mormon evidence (such as Nahom, how joseph smith could have written the Book Of Mormon, the witnesses, ect.), as well as what he felt were logical flaws in the book of Mormon (linguistic troubles, "anachronisms", population, "impossible" events, ect.) . He fears that a continuation of his Mormon practices might result in terrible pain, however, my husband and I worry for his soul if we do not force him to attend the Mormon church, and believe in our religion. Would anyone happen to have any recommendations or advice?
  5. So I need some advice. And I have no idea where to begin. In a nutshell my husband and I are trying to decide if we should divorce. Or HE is deciding. The problem is complicated. Though it has only recently be relayed to me, apparently the entire 4 1/2 years my husband and I have been married he's been struggling with what makes him happy. He wanted to get married, and assures me he still loves me. But two months ago My husband reveled to me he has lost his testimony, has more properly has been faking it and never fully had one. He believes if the LDS church is the closest thing to the truth. But he doesn't believe it as a whole. or agree with its restrictions. He still goes every Sunday and participate fully for the kids and me. Because he believes its good for the kids. Now things since then have gone down hill. A month after that he told me he wasn't sure if he wants to be married anymore. He says it causes him too much stress because its too much work for him. He expresses his frustration with always having to sacrifice his personal time for family time. He feels like he sometimes rather just be alone. Im trying to figure a way we can make this work but he says there's only a 30% chance he stays because he doesn't want to make the effort anymore. He can find just as much happiness in solitude as he can with us. Plus in his eyes he can do what he wants when he wants. See the kids and me when he wants, exercise when he wants, work and friends when he wants. And he wont have the church restrictions I apply so ha can watch what he wants drink what he wants go where he wants exct. I want to make an effort to make this work to make him happier. Because he says he does want me and the kids and our marriage but he wants the solo life too. He just doesn't know which he wants more. I don't know how to deal with this and I'm in a slump, were fighting all the time because I get so emotional and that makes him angry. He says he's not good enough and I should leave him. Built I love him and want to make this work. I just don't know at what point am I supposed to call quits. Can we be one of those stories where "oh she stuck by me and put up with so much and now look were a super happy family" or am I going to stick with it and get more hurt and have us end on worse turns then if we just end it now. I don't know what im supposed to do....
  6. I kinda curious about people's General advise for the do' s and do nots for having a successful marriage. If your marriage has been successful, what good things have you and your partner done that you feel have contributed to it's success? What troubles have you had to work through? If you have had a failed marriage, why did it fail, what do you think could have changed the result? Despite the problems was there anything that really worked out well? If you remarried, what have you and your partner done differently? What do you feel should be avoided? Were there expectations you brought in that turned out differently? Are there things you looked for in a partner that made a difference? Any other thoughts and comments?
  7. I recently married a non-member. He has been taking the missionary discussions and has even set a goal date for baptism. I can't tell you how thrilled I am! However, he is struggling in keeping the Word of Wisdom. Some background on us. I grew up in the LDS church but fell away for a period of years. During this time, I met my now husband, and while I wasn't keeping the Word of Wisdom myself very well, I couldn't very well be hypocritical and ask him to work on his problems, which were much more addictive than mine. We recently moved to my home town which has brought so many blessings in our lives. I found the church again and my conviction to be the best me I can be and strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father has been stronger than it ever had been growing up. And thankfully, my wonderful husband has begun to find the truth for himself as well. The missionaries that are helping us are fantastic and supportive and have guided us both into a better place. My husband had problems with alcohol and tobacco addictions, as well as growing up drinking coffee and tea. He has given up coffee and tea, and quit drinking. However, he doesn't seem to be trying to quit tobacco at all, and last night, while we were out with coworkers of his, he drank multiple beers. He knows my stance on these matters and I don't want to be the one that deters him from baptism by pressuring him, or making him feel like he must choose between baptism or tobacco and alcohol. Ultimately, he must, but I'm worried an ultimatum like that might be too much. One is easy, and the other is not. I love this man so much, and seeing how far he has come is incredible. I want to be able to help him with this step as well. I'm just so worried it will come off as nagging and not supportive. I've asked the missionaries to go into further detail about the Word of Wisdom at our next appointment in hopes that will inspire him, but don't know what else to do besides pray and love him and encourage him to pray, go to church and help him feel the spirit. I'm wondering if there is more I could be doing. Any advice or suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thank you!
  8. I'll start this off by giving you a little background about myself. I am 18, male, and I've been a part of the LDS church my whole life. Unfortunately there was a point in my life where I completely disregarded the church. Not too long ago, I decided that I wanted to change. I missed being a part of the church and the joy that it brought me. So I went in to see my bishop and straightened things out. So to lead up to why I am posting this; I'm getting married soon. I'll be getting married in the temple. (Huge accomplishment for me!) I know there are certain things that you have to do in order to get married in the temple. One of these things being endowments. I recently (about 5 minutes prior to writing this) saw a post about endowments and how when this young man went he had these bad feelings and it made him question the church and how going to the temple made him wonder if he should even go on a mission because he would have felt like a hypocrite teaching people things he wasn't sure he believed in anymore. Now, i don't think going to the temple is going to turn me away from the church, but it kind of freaked me out. My question is, what can I do to prepare to go and get this done? What should I expect? I mean obviously I'm not asking what is going to happen, because I'll know when I go. But what can I do to get ready to go? Is there anything? I grew up in a town where the population is (and I'm not exaggerating) 98% LDS. One unfortunate side-effect of this is that some people tend to get a holier-than-thou attitude. So questions like these are hard to ask around here. Anyway, I would appreciate some advice! Thank you.
  9. I'm not sure if this is already being discussed, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while and then I read the article linked and it made me think even more about it. I have a three year old who already knows how to handle a tablet. I'm worried, currently, about how her using the tablet will affect her, as there are studies that show lowered attention span, hurting social skills, etc. But, I also know touch screens are the future. My kids will use them in school and work, and I don't want my kids' learning to be hindered because they spend all their time using the new-fangeled technology that is totally foreign to them, making them focus on learning how to use it, as opposed to using the software on the device. Of course, I also think about the future (when I'm feeling brave). What will my kids encounter on the internet much younger than I did? How will that affect them? So, where's the balance? Those of you with kids, how do you do it now? Those of you in my situation, or who have no children, any good theories? As the article points out, we really can't 'know' what to do, as we're pioneering this, but I've always thought kicking around a hypothetical helped in real world situations. http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2014/09/29/parenting-as-a-gen-xer-what-its-like-to-be-the-first-generation-of-parents-in-the-age-of-ieverything/
  10. So I honestly need some non-judgmental advice. I am 20 years old. I am part of the younger sister missionary generation. I was on my mission for 5 months and returned home on medical release. I can say that I have a strong testimony of the church and a love for my heavenly father and my savior. But, there is one thing that keeps holding me back. I don't think I was ready to be endowed. I have been endowed for nearly a year now and have never truly come to terms with wearing the temple garment. I wore it consistently on my mission but after a while of being home I could not stand wearing them anymore. I went three months without wearing them, then decided to talk to my bishop to try wearing them again. Since then I have been wearing them on and off. It's kind of hard to explain. I literally just cannot stand wearing them. They feel like a burden. When I take them off I feel like I just got out of a controlling relationship; I feel free. Every sister that I talk to about the garments has little to no problem wearing them. I feel horrible that I struggle so much with them. I just cannot imagine having to wear these things my entire life. Also, I feel like it is nearly impossible to feel attractive in them, which is really hard for someone my age. For a long time I called them granny panties. Need some help!
  11. Do you have a favourite tip from the Book of Mormon or an insight that has really helped you out? There is a scripture (Moroni 7:16, sorry cannot get link to work) that tells us that all men have a conscience. I find it very comforting to know that the people I am dealing with do know, at some level, perhaps buried deep, that it is wrong to lie, cheat, and steal.
  12. Best spiritual advice that I received was to obey the commandment even when you are not sure how things will workout. With respect to the law of tithing the first time you pay can be very scary. A friend told me just to think of it as walking off a cliff and believing that God will catch you. It has been a bit like that in my life especially with not working on Sundays. I think that Satan tells us that certain commandments are more difficult to live than they really are.
  13. Is it okay to send short emails to a missionary you had previously dated? I don't send romantic stuff, just encouraging emails. Is this okay? And how often is enough?
  14. I'm not sure if this is the appropriate to ask this in. Please pardon me if its the wrong spot. I was curious to try this forum. I have so many questions about things, but I have a very hard time asking people things. Pretty much in general, I am not good with words. I'd be very helpful to get some feed back from many of any, I'd very much appreciate it. I have had these burning questions within me for almost a year now. I've prayed about them too, multiple times. I may get some saying that I need to be more patient, and maybe your right. However, I felt I should try this. 1st Question: First though I should give in a little background, this may help a bit on how to help me...maybe. I've been struggling with going to church this past 2 years. My parents got divorced, and its been challenging finding the right ways sometimes, because of my asking problem. My father's activity has fluctuated up and down ever since I could remember. His job causes him to be gone for weeks at a time and back for 1. ( So with the divorce, the whole seeing each other thing hasn't really been affected ) My mother however, I have been concerned with for awhile. I used to be so close with her, we were like best friends. I was able to tell her ANYTHING. It was hard to talk to my father, because he often yelled instead of helping. ( he's improved A LOT over the years ) I stay with her at her house and live there. I am almost positive I'm moving out this week to my dads. Her and I have drifted away from each other. As much as I want things to be back to normal, its much more complex than that. You see.... both my best friend and I have noticed shes changed a lot. I know for a fact that the divorce has taken a big toll on her. And it still does. She's been depressed. And even having her boyfriend in her life. I am stuck. I've been avoiding her for when I can because I'm scared to talk to her. I am sweet to many people, and hate hurting their feelings. ( a quality I got from her ) But when I talk to her about things, I get really nonchalant and serious. Maybe even appear cold. I hate to envision myself be like that, and especially to my mother. Ever since she's been dating, I have felt very neglected. My loneliness and frustration fuelled some still remaining resentment against my mother...also I've taken it out on myself to. Both my parents have always told my brother and I it was never our fault for what happened. And I believe it. But, I feel lost. I have needed my mom for things, for answers and also and example. But to be frank, she has failed to meet them. I cant ask my dad either, for certain reasons. I want my mom back. This makes me sound like a real cry baby, but I want my old mom back. She used to be so active and light spirited. But this man that she's with, seems to have brought her down instead of up. Now don't get me wrong, he's a really nice person and I'm not saying he is a mistake. I'm glad I've met him. But his problems, combined with my mom, they both can't help each other up. My friend, who is close with my mom feels my confusion too. He has sought my mother for advice and looked to her as an example. But now, its been difficult approaching my mother. For the both of us. Also my younger brother. ( He is almost never home either. He'd rather stay at his friends house, I can see why ) We NEVER have Family Home evening together anymore. I'm scared to ask. And also, whenever we start things they never last. My mom has come to me in tears asking for forgiveness many times. And those many times I've forgiven her. But its gotten harder and harder to trust her because she either procrastinates or she goes back to the old way. I feel my mother is still very young at heart, which makes it hard to count on her. I've went to my grandma to talk to as well, but things are getting hard between us too. ( her mental stability isn't exactly top notch ) My only advisors I can think of that have helped me, is my best friend, and Heavenly Father. I am moving out to be away from both my mother and grandmother, living at my dads house alone. My question is what to do about my mother? I really don't know what to do here. I've gotten to the point where I want to live away from them. And I never wanted this to happen. But their guilt tripping drives me away even more. And for the record, please, please do not make this out into that I hate my mother. I dont. I love her dearly. So please dont make any negative comments about what she's previously done. I am looking for advice that will help me now. Or maybe something to inspire me what to do. 2nd Question: This has to do with my inactivity. After years of growing up in households that are struggling in holding the gospel, I want to make a change. Back in my old ward, I still had a hard time meeting my duties in my callings. Not because I didn't want to, or I thought they were dumb, but because my lack of knowledge growing up, I felt embarrassed and unworthy to participate. I've always loved the gospel and its teachings. I am starting to do better at controlling my thoughts and at disciplining myself. But I know I still have much to go. I barely passed seminary, thankfully because of my loving and understanding teacher. I didn't go because of the same reason. Scripture study never was imprinted as a priority in our house hold by my mother. But my dad made it seem like it was a chore, or it was a punishment. ( because of the way he acted about it ) Now looking back, I can see where he was coming from of wanting to get us into reading our scriptures. But scaring never works with kids. And neither does procrastination. Even though I have grown up in the church, I still yearn to know much still, but being older now, I hurts that I am so behind. ( and I live in a highly populated mormon area ) I never get teased or anything, but I really feel alone though. My ward is very pleasant, but a bit off, er.. different from my other ward. They are a bright lovely bunch, but maybe I get nervous because I feel inferior or something.. I don't know. I want to fit in, or be able to be like them, to be an example, not just a follower. What is the best way for overcoming fear or nervousness? I have been practicing and am getting better, but I feel I'm not doing what I should be. How do you start, and keep GOOD habits. My family has a weakness in procrastinating, and I want to break that chain. Thank you to any of those who have taken the time to read this and answer my questions. I really appreciate it.
  15. Ok, I am 26 years old and in my first relationship of about 1+ years. We get along pretty well, have a lot of fun together, and love each other. She is ready to get married and has told me many times. I think of marriage with her and I imagine how fun it would be. I quickly begin to think about things that she does that bother me or things about her past that bother me. I try repenting of my judgement calls, and try to be a better person. I don't feel like these things should be a factor, however, I cannot seem to get past them. I've been to the temple many times trying to get answers as to what to do. I don't seem to get anything. I pray, fast, and do, what I feel is, all the right things, to no avail. We're at a point where we really need to move on. She has been ready for quite some time, yet I'm still iffy about it. I can't tell if I'm just scared to get married and be completely responsible or if I genuinely have some deep concerns that need to be resolved first. I think about losing her and feel devastated, but also feel worried when I think about marriage. Things I worry about are: her debts (quite a bit), family issues (divorce in the family and sick parent), and sometimes her looks. Anyone have any advice? I'm really desperate.
  16. Hi guys, I would really appreciate any advice you could give (from an LDS perspective). Yesterday, an extremely inappropriate ad suddenly filled my computer screen. I have no idea why this happened or where it came from. Let's just say it was something I would never search for in my life. I was so shocked that it took me a minute to realize what I was looking at, but when I did, I got rid of it as soon as I could. I mean, this is something I would NEVER, EVER view. Although this viewing was accidental, I still feel very guilty about it, and I'm constantly afraid it will happen again. I'm always extremely careful about what and how I search. What should I do? I've prayed a lot about it already and I'm still nervous. Thanks so much!
  17. My husband and I have been married for 15 years, mostly not-so-happily, but we've been working on it. One big thorn in our marriage is the fact that in our first year of marriage, I gained weight, and he says he never wanted a fat wife. I've never been enormous by any means, but I weigh about 50 pounds more now than I did when we met. Never mind the fact that he gained just as much weight as I did - men are visual and women aren't; therefore, it doesn't matter if he gains weight, but it matters if I do. I've tried to lose weight and sometimes been successful and sometimes not, but right now, I weigh more than I ever have other than when I was pregnant. He has told me that if he knew I would never get a hot body, he would leave the marriage right now. He's only staying in hopes that I get with the program and get skinny. I proposed that he work on whatever issues he has that make him so unhappy with someone who isn't a supermodel, and he thought that was the absolute most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard of because there's no way a man can be attracted to a fat woman. Things have really deteriorated this last year and then the last few weeks have been terrible because I just found out a whole bunch of crap that I had no idea was going on. He's been drinking, smoking pot, looking at porn, and, the ultimate kicker that I just found out two days ago, is that he cheated on me. He swears it was only one time and they didn't "go all the way," so I guess there is at least that. Small consolation, since he admitted they did have oral sex. But he is adamant that he isn't going to do that again and that he's going to quit the alcohol and porn. He's even talking about coming back to church, something he hasn't done in several years. Part of me just can't get over kicking myself because I knew before I married him that he had been through rehab and had had problems with alcoholism, drugs, and had been sleeping around before I met him. But he had repented and was very spiritual and I was just super naive, I guess. There were red flags that I didn't see because I was just so desperate for someone to love me and I had a bird in the hand - someone who gave me tons of love and wanted to take me to the temple. He's been going through this whole mid-life-crisis over the last few years as he approached age 40. He's now losing weight and taking great pains to look good, including using lots of anti-wrinkle cream and is even talking about hair replacement therapy. He says the window of opportunity he has right now to get a hot wife is closing and if I'm not going to be the wife he wants, he's getting ready to go get her. Honestly, huge parts of me are wanting to kick him to the curb right this second and say good riddance. But then parts of me wonder if he's right. Will I have any chance of finding a decent guy if he leaves me and I'm still fat? Can a man REALLY love a fat woman? Or is that too much to ask for? I really need to hear from men specifically if you're reading this - HONEST answers. Do I have any hope of being really loved and cherished if I'm not a size 8 or less? Because if not, I need to know now so I can put every effort I can muster into saving the relationship I already have and keeping my kids' dad around. I feel in my heart like I deserve better, but despite the things I've written in this post, he's a good dad, he provides well for our family, and he generally treats me well - no physical abuse or anything like that. If I could lose 50 pounds and our marriage and family life would be 100 times better, maybe that's what I should be putting all my energy into. Especially considering the fact that if we divorce, I might never remarry and/or end up marrying someone who isn't any better and I will have destroyed my family for nothing.
  18. To keep this short and sweet, My boyfriend has been called to serve a mission and is due to report to the MTC in a week. buthe recently realized that he is only going because that's what his family wants him to do and not because it's what he wants, or believes in. Basically he has come to the ultimate conclusion that he shouldn't leave. I'm not a member of the church but I love him to death and I want to make sure he makes the right decision and doesn't regret anything looking back. I don't think it's right for someone to devote 2 years of their life to something they don't believe in (or practice at times). But he is an amazing person and I think he could really help people, if that's what he decides to do. Currently, he just wants to leave a note explaining things to his family and leave for a couple days (I don't know how that will go over considering he has pretty strict parents). I think he should at least go try it and if he hates it he can come home. I just want what's best for him and I will support him no matter what he decides to do. I don't want my personal wants/beliefs to have any affect what so ever on his decision. So I just wanted to see if people had any advice as to what to say to him to help him through this. Also because I'm not a member and not familiar with what goes in the church I was wondering what this would mean for him within in the church? Are there repercussions to just not going once you've been called? Any other advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you. (:
  19. Now that the big kids (including my own son) have moved up to Primary, we have a class-ful of 6 two-yo. They all will leave and go to Primary at the end of the year. Only two really give me any problems. They are the two youngest. One's birthday is in August, and the other is October. August just likes to copy everyone and if she sees anyone with a toy, she wants to try it out, but I can redirect her with no problem to another toy. She makes eye contact with me when I talk to her and always reacts in some way to let me know that she has heard me, even if it's just to give me the stink-eye. The other however, I have no idea how to handle. He is the October child, and he wants to play with every toy. He doesn't speak as much, and not nearly as clearly as the other children. He fixates on one toy and will not be convinced that any other toy is equally as cool. If I give him another toy to play with he uses it to hit the kid on the head that has the toy he wants. Then I have to sit him in time out, because I can't have him hitting all the kids on the head. I just sit him in my lap, but the kid won't listen to me. He bucks, kicks, squirms, twists, and refuses to make eye contact. He is not interested in anything I have to say. I hold him in my lap strongly, but not tightly, and calmly say his name, or softly touch his face to try to get him to look at me. Usually after a while of this, I can get his attention and I will tell him he needs to tell the child he's sorry. He'll tell them he's sorry, and I'll let him keep playing. The problem is I have to keep doing it over and over and over. By the end of nursery I'm ready to scream, and I know he's sick of it too. He acts similarly with his parents in Sacrament meeting too. I am looking for advice on how to treat, talk, punish???, communicate, get through to him. I'm really not comfortable with doing anymore than sitting him in time out or if he gets really out of hand sending him back to his parents. I'm really unsure the best way to help him. Has anyone else tried anything that seemed to work with an difficult child?
  20. I'm Kat, in the UK. I'm a convert of about 9 years now, but only really just starting to become active. My life has turned around for the better. I still have some hard times and just want to talk to people that are perhaps a bit more experienced and can possibly give me advice in life. My close friends are not in church and only my mum is a member. I don't always get to talk with her though I'm looking forward to speaking with new people :)
  21. Okay so I met this guy in October and I really like him a lot. But, when the bishop talked to both of us to check our tithing he talked to both of us about what we were doing together (because we had been seen together a lot) and that we should date others instead of being a steady and committed relationship. I dont know how to explain this. But, since then, we have been hanging out every night for at least 2 1/2 weeks and I don't think either one of us has asked anyone else out, much less want to, but we have been flirting with other people (and this is my theory) because neither one of us wants to disobey the bishops advice. Plus, everyone in the ward says that we should date seriously and that it DEFINATELY looks that way on the outside but, when we talk to other people he always refers to me as his friend but it really isn't. Considering how much we hang out together (we always have fun together though so no complaints there) and that we hug each time one of us has to go home for the night, really, it is a couple relationship but without kissing or hand holding. Idk what to do or make of the situation. I would love to be in a serious relationship with him but at the same time I do need to date others but I dont want to and I dont think he wants to either considering how he hasn't asked any other girl out because I've been hanging out with him for 2 1/2 weeks straight (at least). Its frustrating to me to see a guy that I really like and that the relationship is so complicated already. So I think to myself, "Is he waiting for me to do something about it?"
  22. I really appreciate all of your advice on my thread "Can a Man be Happily Married to a Fat Wife?" Every time I've prayed about this, I've felt like I should stay and try to work it out. I do believe that people can change with God's help, and I was going to do everything I could to make it work, keep my family together, etc. And then one day I read this reply on this site: And as I read the words, "let him go," I felt the spirit. I was taken a little off guard by that because I've been in the making-it-work mode for so long. But as I've prayed and gone to the temple since then, I've felt several more witnesses that this is the right thing. So now, I have to face the fact that this is super scary and intimidating and I have no idea what to do. We have just started a new round of marriage therapy, and I don't really know what to say when I go the next time. I haven't given my husband any ideas that I'm thinking about this, and I don't know when I should do that. Should I seek legal advice first? Should I just tell him I want to separate and then serve him divorce papers after he's moved out? I don't really want to do this, but I don't want to stay with him the way things are, either. I just know that I've learned what happens when I don't follow the spirit and I don't want to do that again. (I don't know if I ever said this on here, but the spirit told me not to marry him in the first place, but I gave in to the pressure he put on me to do it anyway.) I'm afraid that I'm going to get a lot of pressure to stay with him from people - the bishop, friends, our counselor, maybe even him - and I don't know if I'm strong enough to stand up to everyone about this. I don't want to make basically the same mistake I made the first time. I don't know - thoughts? Advice?
  23. SO here is my story and im really seeking advice.. HELP So I have been married for 1 yr not in the temple.. my wife and I have had problems and have been extremely close to divorce.. We go to church we met with our bishop and he wants to get us in temple prep classes and I am ok with that. BUT I am very very confused with the marriage.. I dont feel that my heart is 100% in it anymore.. I do love my wife and I would never want to hurt her and thats why I am soo confused on what to do.. What i dont want to happen is for us to get sealed and my heart not be 100% there still.. SOMEONE HELP ME OUT WITH SOME EDUCATED ADVICE I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT adding info- I realize there is alot of missing info here. kind of hard to post our whole relationship here.. BUT- our relationship problems have seemed to decrease. we still argue and bicker and each other almost everyday.. We dont hold good conversations anymore.. we want different things in life career wise now. I had to get a diff job and we have to move from st george to salt lake. we have alot of things that have not been taken care of... it really just seems like an interest thing.. i feel ive lost interest and attraction on some level. But i love her family i couldnt wish for better inlaws. idk what else to say feel free to ask me other questions!
  24. Hello All, I've been reading the Book of Mormon, as well as other documents published by the Church, and I've been praying about it. I feel inspired, more than I have about any religion. In my past, I have been a atheist leaning agnostic, extremely cynical about religion in all aspects. I've viewed it as a crutch for the weak, and a way for those in power to control those weaker than themselves. I find it pretty hilarious that out of all the religions around, Mormonism is the one I'm identifying with now, haha. I've been dating a beautiful girl named Melissa for the past three and a half years, and I couldn't be happier. When we first started dating, she was faithful to her Christian religion (not Mormonism), and was worried about me. Now, she's just as confused as I was about religion. Whenever I bring up Mormonism (usually in a joking way), she's extremely against it... and I can't blame her, I've been projecting these same feelings for our entire relationship. I suppose my question is: how do I join this religion I'm so drawn to, without disappointing the woman I love so dearly. Thanks for the advice, -Casey, 21 y/o