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Found 6 results

  1. Many Clinton-supporters perceive that Christians supported Trump. The truth? Some did, some did not, and many cast their votes with noses firmly pinched. Nevertheless, the perception has non-believers asking us how we could support someone who did-said-behaved so un-Christ-like. Those Christians who did vote for our President-Elect should take care in their answers not to excuse sin, but rather to focus on those issues and polices that persuaded them. What is eternally more important is our belief that God does not give up on anyone. Clinton or Trump, I would have prayed daily for either one. Two common charges lobbed against our President-Elect, and us, are that we are under-sensitive about racism and sexism. Jesus highlighted the moral superiority of the despised foreigner—the Good Samaritan—against the insular leadership of his own community. He forgave the adulteress, spoke with the foreign woman at the well and surrounded himself with competent, empowered women. He modeled inclusion and integration. Likewise, we believe the church is a place where there is no longer male or female, Greek or Jew, free or slave--we are all one, in Christ. Finally, there is the anger and meanness that Mr. Trump’s opponents accuse him and us of trafficking in. It is folly to engage in arguments over which side is worse. The internet is gummed up with left-wing stories of Trump-supporters engaging in racist, sexist trouble-making. Right-wing media carries similar episodes of violence against Trump-supporters, or just of minorities attacking whites, in the name of protesting. Christians are commanded to live at peace, as much as is possible. We love our enemies and pray for those who insult us. So, what’s a Christian to do in this ramped-up social environment? * We love God and our neighbors. * We care for the widow, the orphaned, and the poor. * We treat the stranger at our gates fairly. * We use just weights and measures in our business. * We work harder and more competently. * We listen hard. * We speak carefully and compassionately, as led by the Holy Spirit. The bottom line is that, in a very tiring age, we refuse to grow weary in doing good. They can malign our politics, and reject our religion, but they cannot argue against the testimony of our good lives.
  2. I want to start out by saying that I love my husband and I know he loves me. There is too much anger and distrust in our marriage though and I need your advice. I have never done anything like this so I don't really know where to start... My husband and I have been married for two years. Our lives are stressful as we both work full-time and go to school full-time. We try to date, but often times get wrapped up in our already difficult world. We are both very passionate, opinionated people and so we either love each other passionately or hate each other passionately. We are in this nasty cycle we can't break. He is very critical of what feels like everything (he was criticized a ton as a child so I think that is just the only way he knows how to talk) including me. The things he says are just little and generally well meant, but it is so frequent that I feel like I can't do a single thing right. I have become so defensive when I feel criticized that he says he feels like he is "walking on eggshells." I feel like I will never be able to please him and he frequent nagging. As time passes and we get more and more frustrated our fights get nastier. I get kind of passive aggressive. Recently, he has started swearing in our arguments and then saying really hurtful things and leaving me. I know we both share fault, but no matter what we have tried we have never been able to fix this one cyclical problem. I know our marriage will last, but I don't want it to last like this. I am tired of feeling so hopeless and helpless. I used to be so confident and happy, but recently I feel like I am scared and depressed all the time instead. Help!
  3. I don't know where to go from here. I'm praying daily for strength and guidance. My husband has been involved in pornography our entire marriage. He hid it for several months after we married and when I discovered it I was devastated. I'm past Satan's lies that it had to do with me or that "all men do it". I just don't know that I can ever trust him or respect him again. I can't take the hurt, anger, and fear anymore. The negative emotions are so intense I don't think I can peel them away to feel love again. Just when I think I've let go and can trust I discover more. He has worked with multiple bishops, but they were of no help. He'd get at most a few months of not taking the sacrament. I feel he's just gone through the motions and pretended to quit and faked change. I understand mistakes, but this has happened over and over. Years ago, he "supposedly" quit to perform baby blessings (first his nephew, one our 1st baby). With my second baby, I discovered that he looked at porn a few days before the blessing. We've been inactive on and off. I'm no saint, but I do expect honesty and intimacy in my marriage. We were sealed in the temple while I was pregnant with my 3rd baby, and I remember feeling such a disconnect with him and lack of the spirit- I had a strong feeling he wasn't worthy. Another baby blessing and my oldest's baptism, all while hiding the truth that he was still looking at porn on a consistent basis. 13 years of catching and discovering the porn and then with my 4th baby I find more porn (second trimester having moved a few weeks before). Another discovery of porn 2 days before her baby blessing. I told him he wasn't worthy to bless her and I didn't want him to. After much thought and prayer I told him he could decide if he was going to still bless her and the night before her blessing he said he was going to. (My mother was in town) So, what I thought was a problem for him, has turned out to be a major problem that is never resolved and has not been sporadic or bingeing, but a consistent ongoing problem. (Weekly) He wants to baptize our daughter, who has waited a year. He says he's been clean 6 months. The bishop said he's good to go and can also start taking the sacrament and I feel AWFUL. This is so counterintuitive. It is what it is. I haven't seen repentance/change and it makes me sick inside to think I'm repeating the past with him. I feel much guilt over the fact that I can't seem to forgive or trust, and that I look back at ordinances he's performed with such sadness. He has fought me on my boundaries and needs, pushes me away, and truthfully I feel the "actions" he has taken to stop accessing porn I forced on him. He quit the therapy I asked him to start. He hasn't done what the original bishop and the new bishop asked him to do. I just don't understand how this has been handled correctly. This is how he has fallen back into it before. I can't let this cycle continue. I feel I might be leaving this marriage. I've tried, I've stood by him for 13 years hoping he'd change. I took my vows and covenants seriously, but I cannot disrespect myself and hurt like this anymore.
  4. It's a terrible thing when an unarmed civilian gets killed by a policeman. When the officer is white and the civilian is black some will inevitably ask if racism was a factor. Sometimes, questions become assumptions, and hurt turns to rage. Then a chaplain gets murdered . . .
  5. I am Kat and I'm 23. I've been active in the church for 7 months now, despite a few slip ups. I've sworn in anger here and there, I've masturbated out of anger and frustration at least 4 times after my repentance and re-activity (went cold turkey on the sex for that to work of course) and I'm an avid self-harmer/anger management wannabe. I assume I have a problem/addiction because it does affect everyday life. I feel like such a pervert, these thoughts I get in my head to do with sex or having sex with my future husband. I do it way too much and I don't know if it's normal or not. I feel like I'm going crazy and every time I get a sexual urge I get really angry, I hit myself, cut myself, the works. When none of that pain works, I masturbate with means to hurt myself down there too. It just makes me SO mad! This happens every 1-2 months. I've repented through prayer, been happy and fine for 5 weeks, then BAM. Depression hits. Getting married soon has sort of awoken and heightened those senses once more that I thought I had long suppressed. Simply going cold turkey and never speaking of sex again isn't the way forward if I am to have sex again once I'm married. I was actually worried at one point that I wasn't sexually attracted to my fiancé. Longer story made shorter, I feel like I'm going insane, for real. Sex is everywhere and me getting married and getting to have sex is amazing, but it's also really worrying if I become a sex addict. I live in the UK, so the recovery program isn't as big here that I'm aware of. I fear that if I go to Bishop now, do the whole repentance thing again I won't be able to attend my temple prep classes in order to be sealed in the temple after our civil marriage (as is done in the UK). There is just too much pressure on everything and I'm going to lose it sometime soon. I feel it's enough to pray and to repent that way, even though I fall down every so often I don't feel horrible enough to speak with Bishop. I really don't know what to do. I feel like smashing my head through a table. If I feel that it's not worth talking to Bishop, does that mean I feel that it's not an important sin to repent of or that I'm trying to justify it in some way? The answer I'm looking for is that I can overcome this myself and with the help of my future husband and we can come up with ways of keeping a chaste mind even after we're married.
  6. I'm new here! Before I found this forum, I was looking at counseling, but I don't know if I need it. This is my background. I was to get a grad degree before my husband, soon after we married. He was offered an outstanding scholarship/stipend, so we were both going to grad school for a while. Then he asked me not to go due to the stress of having me in school and having a couple of little ones. He PROMISED me, I could go as soon as he graduated. He was hired before he finished his doctorate with a demanding job and continued upon graduating. I had a trust fund for grad school for me. Money was not an issue. But he would not support in any way, my going to school due to his job. He didn't want to be responsible for the kids on his time to wind down from work. I talked about a babysitter, but due to issues with our kids (they are high functioning autistic children), we both didn't feel comfortable. I looked to going Saturday mornings. I looked to go once a week. (Online learning wasn't available.) For 8 years, I bugged him. My college trust fund expired (use it or lose it policy). I tried tnot to worry, since we were doing okay (not fabulous, but ok) with funds. Then we moved. And I thought a fresh start might work. Well, his job became more demanding, and medical bills from kids came in...and came in. (They are ongoing with them. Autism related). So finally he said I could goto grad school, but it had to be a non-demanding degree. So I went and got a Master's in Education. He knew I had no intentions on settling with this major, since it wasn't the field I wanted. But it was a quick (2 years) and easy degree program compared to the others I wanted. I talked to him about taking out a student loan, even though we had cash for tuition, to apply to the many, many medical bills we had (about $30,000). We both decided that would be great, since the interest was so low and it would save our credit score. I worked a serious education job (12 hrs/day - 6 days/week). Never had my heart into it, since I wasn't really into the idea or field of education. It was demanding, and I was able to work while I was in school. My hours toward family were little, and he had taken over our bills for me. I always kept track of our finances before. So if I asked him if we had money for something, the answer was always "Yep." At one point I saw that some medical bills weren't paid off and questioned him. I told him to put all of the loan money to the bills. Years later, we moved. Our oldest went to college. I was getting excited, since I could finally go and get my own degree. It has been tough raising kids on the Autism Spectrum, so I finally felt that I could start thinking of myself. I started looking over the finances, and Then I found out. The $30,000 student loan was never applied to the $30,000 medical bills! It had been frittered away while I had been working and put him in charge. With our medical bills and now this gigantic student loan, we were/are $60,000 in debt. There is even more to it, in that he didn't put any money in our kids college funds, so now we are very short there too. When I asked him about it, he said that he was always afraid that we would need that money. He wanted to keep it available. I told him that it had to go for what we said, or it'd be wasted, which it was. He actually understands now, and feels better that I'm in charge again of the finances. I'm looking at the mess wondering how long it will take us to get out of this debt. $60,000 while kids are leaving to college with little to no funds for them. And I'm angry that I never was able to use my education trust fund, due to him. And now I have a huge student loan I think will take 5-10 years for me to pay off. I'm depressed too. I feel like I'm trapped with kids leaving and no options for my dreams. I never wanted to go in the education field. I had a lot of teaching helping my own kids, and I don't care for the administration. I feel like I gave up everything for our 21 years of marriage for him and the kids, and he took every option I had to look forward to. I have been internet surfing my time away for a couple weeks. I don't want to even leave the bed or shower. Yes, I'm depressed! When I'm not depressed, I'm angry at him. All the time, I feel trapped and helplessly in debt. Other than this, he has been a perfect husband. No one at church/family/neighbors would ever believe all this occurred, and knowing he is so happy and helpful to our family and community, they'd think I was being selfish. I KNOW he has a demanding job. I KNOW he is a great guy. But just when I thought it was my turn, I found out I might never have one. Please help me, so I can get rid of the anger and depression. I recognize it, but I can't justify more bills from counseling at this point. I also think I just need a good friend (or forum) I can throw this out to, and hear what I need to, to move forward again. Thanks in advance