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How heavy My heart is Missing you These long, cold Lonesome days Sunsets flow Endlessly Into one Bittersweet Elegy Cursed with love Lingering, Patiently Suffering Memories My lamp primed The wick dressed Hope reflects Eyes of light In darkness Aeglyn Mar’2019
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WARNING: VERY LONG POST (sorry) Background: I've been to many different Churches growing up and I have never wanted to make them a big part of my life. And that will probably never happen, probably. Who knows. However, I see nothing wrong with people who decide Church is for them. When I met my wife she hadn't been going to church for a few years and it didn't seem like she would go back. Before I got engaged to her, I asked her repeatedly if she wanted a temple/church wedding, and she'd say no. I'd ask her if she wanted to get sealed, she'd say no. I'd ask her these repeatedly over the course of the next few months and it didn't seem like those were things she wanted. I wouldn't have been with her if she did because it wouldn't have been fair to me and it DEFINITELY wouldn't have been fair to her (for better or worse she knew that too). Fast forward about 2-3 years. Her brother dies in a car accident... and a week later she gives birth to our daughter, plus she's dealing with other temporary medical stuff. So a lot was and is going on... She started to see a counselor and she started to go back to Church, with my "blessing" (not that she needed it). It never even came to mind she would want to get sealed again. But a week ago (8months after her brother's death) she told me she wanted to get sealed and she had been thinking about it for 6 months or so. We had long talks about it. She wants to be with me and our daughter for all eternity. But I told her that if I went through with this and if I faked my way through it would be blasphemous. And I asked her (don't judge) but if God is real then how would they look upon or judge you knowing that you partook in something so blasphemous. Also, if I did fake it, I'd have to somehow convince everyone that I'm Mormon which would be very difficult since they know I question religion a lot (I don't judge it though). If you're asking if maybe I'll start believing if I go to church. Doubtful, I've been to Church(es). I know enough about the Mormon Church that makes me not want to be a part of it. Plus the God factor, I don't see how I can put faith in his existence unless God shows them self to me. During our conversations, she asked me if she should wait for me to possibly become a part of the church… I said no. We both know what that means, but neither of us will say it. Just FYI... Her stepmom has flight benefits for her and I'm in the military. So, in the last 8 months, she's been going back home a lot and I can't go with her. It's been hard, especially on Christmas and New Year's when she was gone for so long. But it's good for her to be with her family. It seems like it's helping anyway. So... I plan on going to church with her the next time she goes which will be the following Sunday and not tomorrow. Not to start actually going to Church but just to go with her and see how she is there (And I'm going to tell her that too). This doesn't mean we're going to stay together and we're probably going to get a divorce this year even though we both still love each other. She just wants something that her and I both know I can't give her. My military contract ends at the end of this year. I'm thinking we should stay together until my contract ends or at least close to it ending. This will give her time to use my medical benefits and not worry about money or getting a job until the end of the year. Plus it'll give me more time with my daughter (even though she travels with my wife). And I won't have to worry about moving twice within 1 year. There's just a lot of benefits for both of us to stay married until the end of the year, even if that means she's lives back in our home state for most of it. When should I talk to her about getting a divorce? When should we stop acting like a couple? When should we stop having sex? When should we stop sleeping in the same bed? Should she move back to our home state before I do? Whether you have anything good, bad or nothing to say, it's good to have gotten all this off my chest. Update 5/5/2018: Let me say this straight, outright. I DID NOT WANT A DIVORCE, I DID NOT ASK FOR A DIVORCE. Church is a good thing for her!! We talked in January about this whole sealing thing, I showed her this post, a lot of people in this post taught her something and she changed her mind and didn't want a divorce. In early March we went to my sister's wedding and my wife got drunk and REALLY cried over her brother (finally, it was long overdue). The next morning she said she didn't want to go to church anymore. I responded with "You need to go one last time to see if you really don't want to go anymore". The following Sunday she went and everything changed, she seemed more interested than before. Which was good, it seemed to help with her grieving. Toward the end of March when we've been back at my duty station, she realized once again she wanted a divorce. Long story short, she's been in Arizona for a little over a month now and we're going to start the divorce process soon.
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Death is something we talk about at funerals. However, should not those of us who belivee in an afterlife be the ultimate preppers? After all, we are getting ready for eternity! A 21 year old white male recently shot nine people in a predominantly black church, in South Carolina. He wanted to start a race war. Where was God? Of course, He is everywhere—especially with those who are grieving. In Matthew’s gospel Jesus said: God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. If so, how could this young man target a church, attend a prayer meeting for over an hour, and then start shooting? Should not such evil melt in the presence of God? In reality the Devil loves bringing his misery before God’s people. What does it all mean? Faith can deliver us from death. The appearance of death often masks imminent victory. The Old Testament story of Elisha and his servant are a prime example. The king of Aram is at war with the king of Israel. Elisha repeatedly warns the king of Israel about Aram’s plans, because God tells him what will happen The king of Aram decides to capture Elisha. He sends his troops to surround the city where Elisha is staying. When Elisha’s servant wakes up, he sees that they are surrounded by dangerous enemies. The prophet Elisha prays that his servant’s eyes will see as he does. Sure enough, the servant realizes that they are surrounded by fire and angels. How often have we been at the brink of spiritual victory, only to cry like Elisha’s servant, that all is lost? Years ago I was teaching elementary school in Korea. During my second year came to realize I enjoyed teaching college students and adults more. I went to the immigration office, and asked how I should go about applying to teach English at a university. The government official said that no, I would not be teaching at a Korean university. At that moment I felt like Elisha’s servant. Lord, you helped me realize I should transition to teaching adults. Why is this happening? Of course, before the immigration officer I was just silent. He paused, smiled, and said: You need to go to Pohang. My brother works at POSCO--the large steel factory there, in the learning center. He is looking for an English instructor! The LORD paved the way for me to take that position. God, open our eyes to see that we are surrounded by your banner of spiritual protection! Help us to see that the death we seem to face is likely our deliverance. Originally posted at linkedin:https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/death-deliverance-tommy-ellis?trk=mp-author-card To hear the audio version of the entire series on death: http://www.anglelake.org/resources/online-sermons/?sermon_id=350
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In the past decade a controversy arose within the field of psychology. Therapists, through the APA, agreed that treatments intended to change patients’ sexual orientation were ineffective and unethical. Spurring this conclusion was a sense of collective shame that part of the profession’s history had been the declaration that same-sex attraction was, indeed, something to be corrected. Along comes Dr. Throckmorton, of Grove City College, PA, proposing a different approach. He provided standard therapies to gay Christian men, who wished to shunt their desires, and remain celibate, as a way of carrying out their faith convictions. The professor developed a frame work for such treatment, and, with a good deal of concern, presented it to the APA for approval. Much to the surprise and opposition of many psychologists, his proposal was accepted. To reporters and opponents, Dr. Judith Glassgold, a high official in the APA, who led the task force that evaluated Dr. Throckmorton’s framework, stated that for some people faith was more important than whom they went to bed with. It may surprise many that Christians will forgo sex for God, but our reality—our history—is that we are sometimes called upon to give up life itself. King David declared in his most well-known Psalm: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Peter, according to church tradition, insisted on being crucified upside down, saying he was unworthy to be killed as his Lord was. Paul stated the principle so well: For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Why this willingness to surrender life’s pleasures—and even life itself? When we die we meet God! Steven, Christianity’s first martyr, as he was being stoned to death, declared: 56"Look," he said, "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God." It is not that we want to die. However, Jesus insisted that: Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. When I embraced the Christian life, I gave up my own. The day I die—whether by old age or by an unbeliever’s violent opposition—I shall receive the victor’s crown. See original posting at: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/when-religion-more-important-than-life-tommy-ellis?trk=hp-feed-article-title-publish
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“Death by suicide.” The phrase conjures painful memories for many. A parent, sibling, spouse, friend, colleague takes their life. Now we struggle through that particular holiday each year. A healthy support we can offer survivors is to “bear one another’s burdens.” Most often that is expressed by extensive listening, and by refraining from speaking. Those who embrace spirituality can find suicide even more troubling. How will God judge my loved one? Will I see him/her on the other side? An answer I find freeing is that God is ultimate goodness and justice. He will do right by our loved ones. I do not need to know how that will look. I trust God. A few may struggle with a niggling thought—maybe s/he was right. Perhaps their suffering is over. It may be that self-harm gets pushed from fleeting miserable contemplation to a ferocious temptation, in light of another’s death by suicide. To bolster our survivor instincts we Christians use our seasons of emotional health to meditate on verses like Romans 12:1: I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. Then, when we face the hardest self-destructive temptations we choose to live because our lives belong to God. In our worst times that has to be enough. As professional helpers, we clergy do well to ally ourselves with trusted therapists and other mental health specialists. Likewise, most psychologists and counselors, regardless of personal faith allegiance, accept that their clients’ spirituality is a huge area of potential strength and health. It’s not about us, or our chosen fields of expertise. We support the well-being of those we serve.
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Why? I'm finding that my thoughts on this are changing as I grieve for my dad.
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My dad has been gone for 2 weeks today. Now that the funeral and everything is over, Mom is really struggling. I think she was in shock/denial for a long time. I understand that this is normal and that she needs to grieve, but does anyone, especially our resident widows, have any advice on how we can help her through this?
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I recently invited over my grandfather's brother, Uncle Doug for icecream cake to celebrate both my husband and my grandfather's birthday... This was on Facebook because he lives a state away but is currently nearby in their vacation home at the beach. No response except to put a post up on Harry Reid complaining about the tax hike and his Mormonism... I was a little shocked when I saw this Uncle Doug was recently diagnosed with bone cancer and told he has 18 months to live, he is a christian however, but my husband and our family are the only LDS members... the rest of my family are non believers or a mix of "yes we believe"... but don't go to any church. Its really sad that this could be one of the last opportunities we could have to get our families together, and he is refusing to even acknowledge my invite.
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Yes, I know, you were just itching for another weird question from me, weren't you? Well here it is. Back when I was still a toddler, I fell down a full flight of stairs. As a result of my injuries, I had a NDE (near death experience). From as far back as I can remember I've had visitations from folks who have already left this life. I don't go looking for these things to happen, they usually come to me and tell me their own stories, and sometimes ask me to contact folks who are still here. Yup, I know, the natural inclination is to say, "That's a lot of bunk, LeKook!", but it has happened to me and I'd be lying if I said it didn't. So my question is: What is the LDS teaching about these types of experiences? I was basically told when I was with the JWs that I was evil when I told them these things happened in the past, and were still happening to me. I couldn't resolve my desire to serve God and the fact that this is how I was made with the whole JW concept of being evil. If these things are evil, why have they happened to me all of my life, why do they continue to happen up to now? There's no "shut off" switch; most of the visits happen when I'm asleep and when I wake up I have all the details (names, places, years, whatever details are shared) and I've been able to verify these details with real people and/or recorded details (places of birth, death, etc.). I've even prayed and asked that this stop but the answer seems to be no. It's just who I am - and I'll never actively seek this stuff. Given the choice, I'd rather not deal with this at all! Anyway, that's my story - how do I resolve something like this with the teachings of the church? I'm open to suggestions, folks... I don't have a clue how to answer this one. Thanks - please be gentle, I'm just asking a question, LOL!!! -LeKook P.S. Scriptural references appreciated!!! :)
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My brother took his own life last Saturday. He and I are both members of the church. He had severe mental illness and my bishop showed me where it says that the Lord will look at this fact. Some people in my ward are telling me that feeing anger and grief right now is wrong because my brother is out of his misery. Others tell me that anger and sadness are normal and acceptable. Who is right? I do feel happy for my brother but I am also angry at him and I keep finding myself crying and then feeling guilty about crying. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. diane