Quick info about me: I am not your typical guy; I don't care about sports teams, cars, the latest bands or the super bowl. Growing up I was shy, quiet and gentle, I was bullied verbally as well as physically by my peers in the church, (one of whom was the bishop’s son), clear into my adulthood when I joined the army and left home for good.
My Problem: I am bitter, disdainful and very, very mistrustful of members of the church and I will admit hostile to some degree. I attend a singles ward right now but I distance myself from all of them because I am unable to bring myself to trust any of them. True none of them have done anything to me, yet, but I have also not given them the chance to. (Note: none of this has affected my testimony of the gospel or prevented me from attending church.)
I have changed some of my attitudes and am now trying to actually be social in the ward with the hopes of actually getting to meet some nice people and even find someone to marry. My greatest stumbling block right now is my continuing mistrust of the people in my ward. Before anyone suggests it let me say that yes I have prayed and made a personal to forgive those in my past but as a rule I do not trust my peers in the church as far as I could kick them.
I have been a virtual recluse since I was 11 years old. I was tired of being an outcast and decided to cut myself off from human interaction whenever I could. Now after years of hating my peers in the church I want to change but don't know what steps to take.
That is why I am writing this is in the hope of some positive advice on how to ease myself into getting to know people.