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  1. I have been married over 6 years and love my husband. I have put my heart and soul into this marriage. He has been good to me, and still is... mostly. Like any other marriage, there have been hard times - but we have worked through them. The only problem that's continued through our marriage is that when I am upset over something he has said or done - he doesn't comfort me, or make me feel better. He leaves me alone till I am "over it". I don't get that. I'm not like that - if I ever said anything to offend him or that upset him - I would fix it and make him feel better. The other week, we had a pretty serious conversation and I bought this up. I asked him how he can bear to see me so upset if he is "in love with me". That's when he told me that he doesn't know if he's in love with me (he "loves" me, but not sure if he's "in love" with me). He also said that he does sometimes think about being single or what it would be like to be with someone else - especially when times are hard or we've had a disagreement. Is that normal? No matter what we go through, I don't think like that!! So I was pretty devastated at hearing all that. I have put so much into this - laid my emotions bare and he's always had this "guard" up emotionally. Anyways, since this, I have felt pretty depressed and just really genuinely sad. Sad that I give so much and get so little in return - and last night had a dream about his band mate - and his band mate is the sweetest guy ever! I love him (not like that!! lol), but am finding that I am attracted to him - to his sweet and fun personality. He's a really really nice fun guy and always gives me a hug and is awesome to me! A lotta fun, makes me laugh. My husband seems to have lost that part of him. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to feel like this - I want to be with my husband, I have given so much emotionally and feel like I can't give anymore love until I get some back - but him holding back, and not being sure he's "in love" with me - well I think I deserve more than that, don't I? Sorry this is so long... it's hard to get all the facts in. we're inactive at the moment - have all the good intentions there... but I know, that's not enough. I would love to be active - properly, fully, but how can I when I'm so unhappy with life at home.
  2. I have been searching for some answers to some situations I have. I have yet to find those answers. I find all the information I need on what to do to keep your families together forever.... however.... there are more than one person in a family and it takes effort on all parts to be righteous and worthy. Here is the situation... I'm 18 and about four years ago my parents got divorced for a couple of reasons. My dad is still active in the church and attending. However my mother is taking steps in becoming a cathloic. She says its what she needs now, its simpler and she can focus on Christ. She often makes comments that her parents (my grandparents who are both active members) tell her she won't have her kids again in post mortal existance.... That fear is what kept her pressing on in a failing marrige till finally it just wouldn't work any longer and mistakes were made. Here are some questions.... and I would love some links or references to resources Will our family still be together if my mom is no longer and active and devout member? If all my sunday school and seminary is coming back right, then (and I hate saying it like this but hypethetically) if the rest of my family is *righteous* and makes it to the highest kingdom, we can vist my mother in the lower kingdoms correct? I just don't like the idea of never seeing my mother again. She isn't a bad person, she believes in Christ, etc. she just isn't a mormon any longer. Will it still be my biological mother and father that are my parents in the next life or if my father remarries will it be another? I know a women can only be sealed to one man correct? How does all this work.... Anyways, I would really appreciate some help here....
  3. i am a college student attending the university in my hometown. my family is very active in the church, but has proved to be physically and emotionally abusive consistently. the physical abuse was through the end of my teenage years; by my dad. he never apologized and is now in the bishopric of a ysa ward. my mother is an enabler, afraid to confront and represses all conflicts. i am thinking of transferring to another school for the sole purpose of getting away from them. i only have feelings of resent and neglect. i can go months without hearing from anyone in my 8-member family. i used to call regularly on a monthly basis, but was advised by a therapist to hold off on that. the way i feel right now--hurt and handicapped at progressing--i just want to not see them at all because i am so starved for affection from them that i will ruin my life to revolve around them...to "earn" their love. i have pondered and prayed over this for about five years now. it seems like i am still in the fire, per se, and can't heal enough to have pure compassion/forgiveness for them. since my dad is close friends with the bishop, all the advice i get feels skewed. no one really knows the bull that he is to his wife and children behind closed doors. has anyone experienced this? what did you do? how have things worked out?
  4. I've always felt like an odd ball in my own family. For the longest time some in my family would have me think I have a good imagination (because I was a child while mentioning this too them) and others having me think I was off in the head for seeing and hearing what I could. As far back as I can remember, I have seen, heard, smelt, and been touched by spirit people. Some of them family members, others I have no idea who they were. I don't go hunting them, they find me. I'm wondering, if I am also an odd ball here as well? Have you ever seen spirit people? Do you know anyone who does see spirit people? Does the idea that there are flesh people who do actually see, hear, talk, smell and been physically touched by spirit people make sense to you or does it bother you? Just curious if I'm an odd ball here... :)
  5. Since joining the forum and wandering around a bit I have noticed that there are more than a few women who have problems with infertility. As my husband and I have been dealing with this problem for eight years now I thought I might see if I could start a discussion on it. On our first year anniversary we were notified by the doctor that Faded had cancer, again. This was the second instance of it and it was the same type of cancer that he had before. The first bout of cancer came around the time he returned from his mission. He had gone through Chemotherapy and was currently in remission. He had almost hit the 5 year mark which marks the time where they usually don’t see cancer return. When it came the second time he was only 26. Because it was a reoccurrence of the original cancer the doctor wanted to pull out the big guns to fight the disease. So he decided that Faded would need to go through Chemo, Radiation and a Bone Marrow Transplant. For those who don’t know what is involved in a Bone Marrow Transplant I will elaborate. During a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) they give the patient chemotherapy that is 40 times the concentration that they usually give regular cancer patients. They give three types of chemotherapy separated by a day to give the body time to recover. The chemo goes around and kills everything, all of the rapidly dividing cells in the body and this also means bone marrow. After giving the last batch of chemo they wait a few days and then insert the new bone marrow, then everyone prays that the bone marrow is accepted by the body. One problem behind this procedure is that it results in a 99% chance of sterility. So before going through any of the chemo Faded banked some “opportunities” for us. Currently Faded is in remission, it has been 7 years and he is doing well. However we are currently battling the infertility problem. Our current option is In Vitro Fertilization (IF), however if that does not work then we will look into adoption. Though we have options I still go through times where I feel sad about it all. It often hits home whenever I see a baby or when someone asks when we are going to have children, but it hit hardest when my little sister, the youngest in our family, had her baby this last August. I am happy to have my newest niece and I am happy for my sister, but my arms are still empty. Throughout this all I have talked to many other women who are going through similar situations. They struggle at having children or are completely unable. All of them are saddened by the fact and often ask, “Why me?” I have seen many of them blame God, get angry, or hurt, and have seen quite a few grow inactive as Mother’s Day is a painful experience and hearing about new babies in the ward often makes them feel sad rather than happy. It causes me to wonder, those sisters in this forum who are struggling with infertility, how do you feel about it all? How is sacrament for you? Mother’s Day? New babies? How do you react to the question from well meaning people, “So when are you going to have babies?” What are your thoughts on your situation? Do you blame God? Or have you found a way of viewing things that puts things in a different perspective?
  6. I was released from one calling on Sunday and asked to take on two to replace it. When I got the early Sunday morning phone call to come in for a meeting with the Bishop, I told myself I would not decide until I had time to submit the decision to prayer. That's where I'm at, and I'd like some input from other members. Would you take on two callings if it potentially conflicted with your family's economic livelihood and your personal callings in life? I was released Sunday from the Young Men's presidency after about one year as Scoutmaster and 2nd Counselor. This has been a challenging calling with only 5 - 8 Aaronic Priesthood youth who attend YM during the week, but I've done the best I could, though I grew up a non-member in traditional Scouting and think it's much better. So I was asked first in a meeting with the Bishop to become the Weblos leader. He said I can do it pretty much any night of the week I want. He told me they had another calling in mind for me as well, and that a brother from the Stake would be issuing that call. I told the Bishop I had concerns about being able to fulfill two callings: I've been largely unemployed for the past year. (If my father had not given us a significant gift, we would likely have lost our house. The Bishop knows my tithing total, so he's not completely ignorant of my situation.) I told the Bishop that taking care of my family's needs has got to come first. (We have four sons 8-14.) He said let's wait on the Weblos calling and you talk to the brother from the Stake. The Brother from the Stake asks me if I am willing to "accept a calling to serve the Lord" or something like that. Talk about putting you in a box. Of course I said yes. Then he asked if I would serve as Ward Membership Clerk. "What's it involve?" I ask. "Two to three hours a week updating records, people moving in, people moving out, entering new callings..." he said. "Well, I could do that..." I ventured. (Keeping records is a no-brainer, I thought to myself. I already know most of the software.) "Great, let's get your wife in here..." and I stopped him. "Please understand, I promised myself I would study any calling offered me and submit it to prayer before I accepted." He was definitely shocked. He listened to my reasoning and then brought my wife in. He explained the calling, and I deferred my decision as I said I would. During Sacrament meeting the Weblos leader was called to replace me as 2nd Counselor, and they called a new fellow to fill the empty 1st Counselor position. My wife is Pioneer stock; I'm a convert of 16+ years. She's a bit taken aback that I would even consider saying "no" to a calling. I told her what she already knows: I have received personal revelation from God that He has two great callings for me that have nothing do do with church: the first is a business He has called me to build, and the second is an organization He has called me to lead. Each requires, depending on the week, from 5-10 hours of time per week. My business requires 2-3 evenings a week and at least one Saturday a month. My responsibilities to the organization take me out of town for a weekend once a month, and I will spend two full weeks next summer with that organization. Both of these are demanding and my Bishop knows nothing of them. Before I converted, my first bishop taught me to always study out my decisions and submit them to the Lord for confirmation. Brigham Young taught "the greatest fear I have is that the people of this Church will accept what we say as the will of the Lord without first praying about it and getting the witness within their own hearts that what we say is the word of the Lord." (Harold B. Lee, Stand Ye In Holy Places, pp. 162-3, "The Prophet, Seer, and Revelator," Address delivered to seminary and institute teachers, BYU, July 8, 1964) So I am studying and gathering information about the two callings before I make a decision and submit it to prayer. We have a smaller ward and there are not enough warm, active bodies to go around. I believe I could manage the Weblos calling. I called a former membership clerk and asked him how much time he put in each week. “12-15 hours,” he said. “Visiting new move-ins to verify their address, to get a phone number, track down families who have moved with no forwarding address…” and just simple record-keeping, printing reports, updating records. That time requirement was a bit of a shock. I’m anxious to let the Bishop and the Brother from the Stake know what Heavenly Father has answered. I know He will give me direction. Has anyone else ever said "no" to a calling with a clean conscience? Let me know what you think!
  7. I am a new member of this forum and am not LDS. I am, however, contemplating becoming a member of the church. I have been attracted to the LDS church ever since my early days. I think the biggest thing that may hold me back is I'm afraid I could not remain friends with all the non-LDS friends that I have. Also, I am concerned how the church would treat me since I would probably initially need to join the church on my own. I'm sure my wife would not join immediately because of all the negative things she's heard about Mormons over the years. I'm hoping that by my witness my wife and two kids would also eventually join the church.
  8. Hi!, Let me introduce myself. My name is Trey Abbe and I represent, America's Incredible Pizza Company. We are currently looking at building a facility in Salt Lake City, UT. My boss has asked me to ask Mormons/Christians/etc. alike and find out if you, "the people", feel that a Family Entertainment Center like America's Incredible Pizza Company sounds like a place for you and your families to go and have an Incredible time! Go to Incredible Pizza Company - Enjoy our huge all-you-can-eat buffet, indoor Go-Kart Races, Bumper Cars, Route 66 Mini Golf, a huge video game arcade with prizes, Bowling, and more! to find out all about us! Please dig in and give me your honest opinions. Let me know...If your not a resident of Salt Lake City, UT; please feel free to leave your comments as well, but include your state! Who knows maybe will even build one there! Thanks!! Trey Abbe Director of Website Solutions America's Incredible Pizza Company [email protected]
  9. I have searched for answers and prayed about this but am at a loss. My daughter, 23 years old is involved with another woman. Before I knew that they were involved, I had a developed a great relationship with the other female. Once I was told they were in love is when the problems started. I didn't even know they were lesbian. My problem lies with total rejection of a gay lifestyle. I can't support or condone their relationship and they know this. I love my daughter and treat her no differently than I ever have. This is something that we don't talk about. I am not sure of how to deal with the other person. If I keep the friendship going, will it be like saying that I think it is ok? I can't figure out how to deal with all this. When I first found out, I was angry, sad, worried, and I cried a lot. How do I accept these girls without accepting their lifestyle? I don't feel that I should shun the other girl as I know she is a good person. I just don't know what to do. If the relationship continues, do I let her come to family get togethers? Maybe someone can shed some light on this.
  10. THIS IS A DISJOINTED SINGLE PARAGRAPH POST. SORRY FOR RAMBLING LIKE THIS. Well it's october 2008. I was re-baptized in the church only 3 months ago. I began my quest to return to the church in June of 2007. I've have attended a baptism session at the Winter Quarters temple and have been fully restored to an Elder. In the past month something has been going wrong. I no longer feel enthused of things related to church. I don't feel the spirit nearly as much as I did. Especially at church. I continue to pray every morning and night. I find it increasing difficult to think of things to pray about. It kind of like i'm just going through the motions when praying. I have not transgressed and continue to repent and partake of the sacrament. In fact my calling is to help pass the sacrament along the the young men and missionaries. Dealing with anxiety, that calling makes me a nervous wreck when doing that duty. I try to convince myself I'm serving others on behalf of Jesus Christ. That does not help the anxiety. I've been attending my ward since July 2007. I still don't feel like I'm part of the ward. I participate in the classes by reading and answering questions. When it comes to interacting with the church members all there is the pleasent "hello." I see new members come in the ward frequently. They seem to blend right in and quickly make friends. I was never one to make friends in the first place. Attending a church function or having a dinner at a members house seems so un-natural to me. I totally hate most sports and other masculine related activities. Most people my age are already married and have children. I can't relate to the "parents" and am fearful being around the children. The missionarries still come over once a week to visit. That my only connection to anyone outside my ward. Missionaries don't stay in my area very long. I have no probems talking to my Bishop. Due to dealing with "same gender attraction" marriage is not possible until the Millennium. I have no desire to go back to that lifestyle. Thinking of the rest of my life, I really don't have much to look forward to. I'm planning on moving to Bountiful. I am on a waiting list fo an apartment. I'm 7 months into what could be up to an 18 month waiting list. This particular apt complex has it's own branch. It's consists of elderly and disabled people. I feel this is the only tpye of congregation I can be a part of. Single wards are definately out of the question. I've found that family wards are not for me either. If this branch does not work out for me I fear I may become inactive. Again I don't know when I'll be moving to Bountiful. The only people I can relate to is the elderly. I'm counting on that to help me. Another main concern is that we are in the Latter-days. So much is happening in the world now that I wish I was not living through it. The past month has been especially hard. Somewhere in the Bible there is a verse. It's something like " In the end times men will cry to God wishing they would die and not have to witness all the turmoil." I'm definately doing that. I fear if I see things worsening, I may make the most "selfish" choice. Right now, even in my prayers, I make the comment I'm waiting for a small meteor to strike me. To sum things up, I see my social life being a lonely one due to feeling uneasy around people. My activity and feelings in the church are becoming more awkward feeling. By the way my bishop is aware of my social issues. He says is there anything people in the ward can do to help. Unfortunalty there is nothing I can think of. I'm not a pocker player, but I'm putting most of my chips on this branch in Bountiful. I almost forgot doing my greeting messages her on lds.net makes me feel like I'm doing something good. However I don't really feel excited in doing that as I used to. Sorry for this rambling disjointed paragraph. I'm sure there are words that are not spelled correctly. Thanks for reading though. One last thing, I do suffer from depression and am in therapy & on meds for it. Anoter thing, I do have family that are LDS. It hard to relate to them too. John
  11. To get our message out about the importance of families and marriage, Joy Lundberg and Janice Kapp Perry have created a song called, "Save the Family" which we have produced into a powerful music video. It's best to view it on high quality. Spread the word that "Family is the beating heart that keeps the nation strong." Let's act on our convictions and tell the world that family doesn't get in our way. It is the way. Here's the link for the music video: