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Religion

Found 5 results

  1. PS this is going to be a long post. This is my first post on this site and boy, I am so grateful that this site exists. I have been reading through some discussions related to my issue and whilst it doesn't give me any answers (only prayer and scripture reading can do that) it does give me slight comfort. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for just less than six months. Over the first two months of dating she has mentioned on numerous occasions that she is undecided about serving a mission. Last year she spoke to her then Bishop about serving a mission but due to the lack of communication between them both, it didn't become her priority and then she and I started dating. For context I am a 21 year old international convert studying at BYU. My *girlfriend is 20 years old and has grown up in the church and is also studying at BYU. Obviously I want to be respectful of my *girlfriend when sharing certain details about our relationship, but to summarize, her parental relationship is split. I am the only member of the Church in my family. I have been a member for over two years and she has been a member for all her life. About 4 months into the relationship she had a meeting with someone very involved in her life, and she told me that the result of the meeting would going to determine whether or not she was going to serve a full time mission. I fully expected her to say that she is going to serve a mission and even in the weeks before when she and I were discussing it, I did tell her that I have no intention of dating a return missionary especially since I myself am not a return missionary and by the standard of the church, it ought to be the other way around. I did however advise her to continue praying about it. After her meeting she told me that she is not going to serve a mission, and to be completely honest, I was relieved. I really liked this girl and I felt that she liked me. Both of us have dated the same number of people before we met each other (under 10) and this is our first serious relationship with anybody. I remember telling myself before her meeting that if by any chance she doesn't go on a mission, I will think seriously about marrying her. So fast forward a few months and over time we begin to develop an extremely strong physical attraction to each other and it got pretty bad. After a discussion we had, we both felt that it was appropriate for us to see the Bishop. We both saw her Bishop and even though I didn't know what the outcome of that meeting would entail, I am so grateful that we both saw him together. Later, I saw my own Bishop and we have both learnt that we need written guidelines to help quell our physical attraction to each other. It has been harder and harder of recent and part of me is a little relieved that we mutually broke up two days ago hence the * next to girlfriend; however our break up is another story in and of itself. About a month ago after hanging out with my *girlfriend I was about to leave her apartment until she stopped me and said that the Lord has communicated to her that she should go on a mission. As you might bet, I was distraught as I had already had multiple serious conversations with her about marriage, and apart from the values we both share within the church, there are many other standards that we agree must be upheld to promote a stable family unit. She has convinced me that she understands what it will take for a marriage to be sustained for eternity and I believe I have also convinced her. However, of course, she wanted to go on a mission. After a lot of tears on my end I did not feel like I could break up with her just because she wanted to serve the Lord. It took some pride swallowing but I believed (and still do) that I will never find another girl like this girl and even though my *girlfriend has continually encouraged that while she is serving, I should date other people, part of me wants to test how long I can hold out until she gets back. I have no intention of dating other people whilst she is gone as I do truly believe that both of us have what it takes to raise a family together. Since last week, my *girlfriend has felt extremely conflicted about her mission and has mentioned that she wants to marry and raise children with me. She knows that I absolutely want to marry her and even though I have made that obvious months ago, I have done my best to be supportive of her mission since she mentioned it and I have even mustered the courage to say "I think you should go on a mission" even though I am well aware that she most likely won't come back looking to marry me. Last Sunday we went to church together and afterwards she shared something her mother sent her via text. For context, my *girlfriend's mother has been extremely adamant that her daughter should serve a mission. The mother has served a mission and whilst the mother's life has taken a nasty turn after she married a convert who was above the age range to serve a mission, she is extremely adamant that her daughter should serve a mission and part of my *girlfriend's mother's reasoning appears to be that her daughter will be condemned if she doesn't. Even as a convert I understand this desire for your children, boys or girls, to not only serve but to marry someone who has also served, so when I saw what my *girlfriend's mother sent her, we both discussed it and agreed upon the significance of the words from Spencer W.Kimball which said, "The question is asked: Should every young man fill a mission? And the answer of the Church is yes, and the answer of the Lord is yes. Enlarging this answer we say: Certainly every male member of the Church should fill a mission, like he should pay his tithing, like he should attend his meetings, like he should keep his life clean and free from the ugliness of the world and plan a celestial marriage in the temple of the Lord” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Planning for a Full and Abundant Life”, Ensign, May 1974, 86). So after a long and tearful discussion about this specific speech we both agreed that we did not have any intention to disregard the Lord's commandment and we mutually broke up two days ago. Just writing this to an anonymous forum makes me feel a little apprehensive but I have seen the replies from other posts and I am confident that I will be able to see extremely insightful replies regarding my situation with my *girlfriend. I know of course that I need to keep praying and reading scripture. I have seen my Bishop about this and he gave me great council regarding this dilemma in our relationship.
  2. Children will now have “Parent 1” and “Parent 2” instead of a mommy and a daddy, according to Tennessee’s Administrative Office of the Courts. Shortly after the Supreme Court redefined marriage, the state’s Office of the Courts revised its documents. A spokesperson for the courts confirmed to me that the words “Mother” and “Father” had been replaced by the terms “Parent 1” and “Parent 2.” (Source article)
  3. prisonchaplain

    Psychology > Religion?

    Psychologist earn their keep. They do grueling work, usually 1:1, often seeing the ugliest that humanity has to offer. $90-130 per hour is dirt cheap, in my book. Considering that the car repair shop charges the same, I'll double down on my uber-respect for those in the counseling field. An interesting shift has taken place, however. Even 20 years ago, I can remember that most inmates did not want to see the psychologist. They were okay with us chaplains, though. Today the tables have turned. A recent poll indicated that 42% of those in Portland, OR are unaffiliated with any religion. 34% in Seattle, and 32% in San Francisco. This got me to thinking. People will spends years--sometimes decades--resolving psychological issues stemming from dysfunctional relationships with their parents. Again, this is time well spent. On the other hand, they balk at seeking a relationship with Father God. Too busy. Who knows/cares if there really is God? How can one know which religion is true? But really--the message is that they do not care to take the time to even begin such an inquiry. Ironic?
  4. I just turned in my mission papers and I am anxiously waiting for my call. It’s been a dream of me to serve the Lord but there is one problem in the way. I’ve been dating a beautiful, loving girl in the same faith with me, but she kept something from me. Five months after have been dating, she confessed something to me and I feel stupid for not noticing, or maybe she is just good at hiding it. Well two weeks before she conceived her child, she confessed to me that she was pregnant and expecting. She didn’t tell me this because she thought I would leave her, and I finally gained her trust so she told me. Fortunately I stayed, because I did not want to leave her. Well we named the child Mahonri, as the biblical name of the brother of Jared, and I took him as my own, even though I am not the biological parent. During the time in her hospital, I helped pay expenses since I had a very good job, and I grew to love the adorable thing. I helped take care of it while she went to work, I even begged to keep the little thing over the weekends. The feeling of having Mahonri with me was amazing. But I also want to serve a mission, and I know that it is my obligation. Mahonri is now three months old, but I don’t know if the saying “You can’t go on a mission anymore if you have [broken the law of chastity] and have a baby since you have a family now” still applies to me. I’ve asked for parental advice, but they tell me my obligation is the mission. I want to go, but I can’t leave my girlfriend and her child! I’m too scared to ask church leaders for they will think I am lying and that Mahonri is my biological child. I’m just really torn. The mission, or the family I could have?
  5. comedymom

    Father's Day Coming Up

    A forum to share your love and appreciation for your fathers.