Search the Community

My fiance basically began a relationship with a woman after about three months after we got engaged and three months before we were suppose to get married. It was with a woman from work who is 10 years older than him, she is married and has five kids. She told him that she had feelings for him (she was in a horrible marriage, her husband is just horrible) and my fiance reciprocated about a month later they ended up kissing on a few different occasions. He told me that when it started he thought he was losing feelings for me and thought he wasn't in love with me anymore. A month before our wedding my fiance told me and also our stake president. We broke up, but are now trying to work it out. Before it started he had to work everyday for over a month including sundays because the other supervisor was out of town. During this time we began fighting a lot, I was getting upset at him for no reason and I was dropping him off at work like that. We both weren't preparing well for our sealing, we were hardly reading our scriptures, praying, hadn't been to the temple since before we got engaged, we barely even read the marriage prep manual that our bishop gave us. We were both just really busy with school and work and I was stressed all the time and felt like our relationship was on auto-pilot. As long as i've known my fiance he's always been a righteous priesthood holder. This is so out of character for him and especially since the other woman is sealed to her husband. My fiance and I were friends for a while before we started dating and have been together for about two years. Its been almost two months since he told me and at first he was really emotional and depressed. He was crying all the time, he was upset that he hurt me and hurt her family. He kept telling me that he never thought he would do something like that. Now, he's been doing much better and is an even better boyfriend then he was before. I really believe that he'll never do anything like this again and I know that it is kinda normal for engaged couples to get cold feet and one ends up doing something similar and they still end up getting married eventually. The hardest thing for me is not knowing how this will affect our relationship if we do get married. Infidelity is everywhere, in movies, books, magazines, music, everywhere. How do we handle uncomfortable situations like that. People always say Satan is going to work harder on you now because you are engaged and to me that meant physical intimacy which we never had a problem with. I didn't think the adversary would be working on us emotionally. I just want to know if this is possible to get through and if its possible not to let this affect me in the future. I know it was just a kiss but its still hard. He's not done with his repentance process yet and hasn't gotten his temple recommend back yet. My bishop told me to be patient and that I wouldn't be able to make a decision until he has fully repented and has a clear conscious.

I am engaged to be married at the end of the summer. I have told my future spouse everything about my past and she still thinks I am the most wonderful person. I recently had a slip up and masturbated in the middle of the night. I quickly got a hold of my bishop and told him everything that happened. He said to move on and use it as a learning experience and to just try a few things to be sure it doesn't happen again since it is something that is not common for me. Well I am having a hard time feeling good. I am torn on whether I should tell my fiancé what happened. I know that she will love me still, but I am not sure if it is necessary to let her know. She can tell that something is wrong, but she said that she doesn't need to know, she just wants me happy. I am really good at being extremely hard on myself. I look at what happen and am full of disgust and disappointment. I even look on it and feel like I am going to throw up. I am just so disappointed that this has happened since I am an engaged man. Any advice would be great.