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Showing results for tags 'inactive spouse'.
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momof72013 posted a topic in Introduce YourselfHello! I am so glad to find a site like this. I have just returned to my local ward after four years of inactivity. I am a convert and have no lds family. My husband is inactive and to say I don't feel lonely at times would be an understatement. I am looking for support and reassurance. I have 7 beautiful children.
Ok. In a nutshell. I am married to an inactive spouse. We were both baptized a week apart from each other, but were never sealed in the temple due to his priesthood being put on hold because of his "unworthiness". His unworthiness list ranges from using "legal Marijuana" to constant pornography addictions. [moderator edit] I maintain my domestic house pretty well conflict free most of the time. I try to be as sweet and submissive as I can while still remaining worthy, however tonight was an exception. We all sat down for dinner and I have been so excited to introduce my FHE printouts to the kids. I review them and teach them over dinner. I didn't think this would be a problem since my husband has been overall supportive with me becoming active again. He will attend sacrament service ONLY and then leaves and comes back to pick us up after church is over. He has told me he does not believe the church is true anymore, however will support me. So we have been doing this arrangment for weeks and it actually has been working quite nicely. Well tonight as I was going through my lesson, he hops up and starts tickling my four year old. I ask him to please encourage a spirit of "reverence" with the children by example and then he quickly walked out of the room and came back and started cleaning. I should have known better than to even ask him anything, but since things have been going SO well and conflict free; I was shocked. I asked him to please wait to clean until after my lesson and he just went off. He started mocking the phrophets and using profanity in direct regard to the church. My kids are sitting there watching this whole thing. I told him if he was going to say those things, I would have to ask him to leave and then he started verbally attacking me. I had to verbally attack him back (because if he thinks your going to be passive, he will do it more; long long story( and finally I told him I was going to call the police if he didn't stop. He left; kids were crying and the whole thing was a disaster. He will probably stay gone all night and I will probably take the kids to church tomorrow by myself.
Hi Everyone, I'm new to the site. I'm a 30 year old female with a one-year old child. My husband has been inactive with pretty much no interest in the church for almost a year now. I was wondering if could get a male perspective on what it's like to attend church without a spouse. As a woman, I feel the lack of the priesthood in my home and going to church it's hard to see men sitting with their families and play an active role as a priesthood leader to their families. I wondered how a man might feel without his wife with him, since I mostly talk to women and have no idea how it is the other way around. Also, for those who have been inactive, how did it affect you to see your family go to church without you? My husband acts like everything is fine, but it must bring up some feelings. I've asked him, but he pretty much won't say anything about it. I'm sure that it must somewhat be hard, especially in his case because he tried to get me to leave the church before. We were separated for a while because of that, but made an agreement not to force the church issue on each other (I'm giving him his space, he's alright with me going to church and taking our child). I feel like we are sort of living separate lives, but its hard to tell if he in anyway feels that. It makes me sad, yet he acts like it's fine. He does support me going to church and doesn't say anything negative about it, which is great. So anything you could say that will help me gain some more perspective in this type of situation would be appreciated.
Help with inactive spouse
SarahGood posted a topic in Marriage and Relationship AdviceI've never really used an internet forum like this before, but I need some perspective and hope you can help. I've been an active member of the church my whole life, went on a mission, married in the temple, and am fully committed to living the gospel. I love the church and love serving in it. My husband also grew up in the church and served a mission. We married in the temple 19 years ago and have three children. Our third child was adopted and we were sealed as a family about 3 years ago. However, since then my husband has completely changed in his feelings about the church. Not many people are aware of this, other than the bishop and his counselors. His parents are wonderful and have served three missions. They know about the situation and I have spoken with them several times. My husband told me about his feelings about 18 months ago. He said he has a huge list of questions about things in the church, such as gay marriage, blacks and the priesthood, evolution, you name it. As far as I know nothing dramatic preceded this change. He is still faithful to me, still keeps the word of wisdom, and still attends church, although reluctantly. He has traveled a lot for work and says that he feels he knows better than the church leaders about certain aspects of the gospel (such as the ones I mentioned) because of his experiences. As you can imagine, this has had a terrible effect on our marriage. I admit to much of that being my fault. I was blindsided by this -- he is the last person you would think of leaving the church. I've tried to be supportive, but when we discuss his questions it usually ends up in an argument. I can't persuade him that the church leaders are right, and that's not how it works, anyway. I've tried to stay strong, and have continued to attend the temple (though not as frequently because it is difficult without him and with our kids.) I've spoken with the bishop a few times and have read many Ensign articles about this subject. A lot of what I hear is "endure to the end, keep loving him, stay strong." It is hard though, to not be angry and hurt. I believe strongly that scripture study, family home evening and prayer are essential to a happy, eternal family. Hubby refuses to take part and sits sullenly while I read/teach. He still prays, and I don't think my older son (15) is completely aware of his feelings, but he's got to realize there is something wrong. My other kids are 3 and 12, but the 12 year old has a disability and isn't aware of the problem. I want my older son to be prepared for a mission, and he is a great kid, goes to early morning seminary every day without complaint. Tonight I did our usual scripture study/prayer, and spent some time talking with oldest son about "Preach my Gospel" and how we can use it to help him prepare. As usual hubby was withdrawn. Afterwards we talked briefly and he said he resented that I made scripture study a priority, that he thinks there are other things we could be doing as a family that would be better. I didn't even know what to say. We don't even spend that much time doing it, maybe 10 minutes. Hubby didn't pay tithing for a while, but caught up this summer and renewed his temple recommend so he could attend a family member's wedding. I knew something was off because he didn't even tell me he was going to talk to the bishop about a new recommend. Since then he hasn't been back to the temple and his attitude has only gotten worse. I have been sick with depression about this for over a year now. I can't even tell you how much I have cried. I have made a fair number of sacrifices for my husband and he can't even sit for 10 minutes of scripture study. Our relationship is at its lowest point ever. I'm sure you all don't have all the answers, but I just needed a listening ear and maybe some virtual support. Thanks.