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I've been struggling with pornography, as well as masturbation, for the last couple years. I counsel with my Bishop about it, but would like for someone to talk with over IM on a fairly regularly basis. My church friends try to offer comfort and advice, but I think they are more bewildered than anything. Usually, I am the one they come to for advice. Therefore, I believe it would be beneficial to have someone online help me stay accountable and be there when I need someone to talk with. I'd prefer the help of an older LDS male. (I'm 23) I will eventually overcome this sin, of that I am certain, because I trust that my Lord Jesus will heal me. However, I know that requires my continuing valiance. If you feel willing to help me in this please feel free to PM me or post here.
I just want to thank everybody for their comments. Most were helpful but a few were kind of harsh. To the helpful ones, I hope your insights are not due to first, sceond, or third hand experience. It is not a fun thing to go through. To the harsh ones, let me explain some things for I believe you were al just trying to help but probably misunderstood or misread what I was intending to say. Here is the explanation. I never felt good about my addcitions...never! However, if you know addicitons they are contrary to logic. You feel one way but act another, if that makes sense. When I met this girl I was in the middle of therapy. I still am in therapy. My therapist said that I could not give love until I learned to love myself. He also said that my addicitions would be a major obstacle in giving the energy necessary in a relationship. However, I was asked to date this girl by my parents. My parents don't know any of this by the way. When I started to see her more I realized how much she made me happy. I also saw how lonely she was and how much she needed someone. Her dad just passed away last summer and she moved back to be with her mom. Her only family that stays in touch with her is her mom. Her brothers refuse to talk to her and her mom. Her grandparents refuse to talk to both of them either. She as a few freinds but work and school kind of hinder any real freindships. So when I heard what my therapist said I tried to break it off by telling everything. I told her what my therapist said. I told what I was feeling. To my suprise she pretty much just batted away my faults and doubts about dating her like they were mere flys! I tried to talk to her again and again but she kept changing the subject by saying things like 'I like you the way you are', 'you will change'. She even told me her life story about not being a virgin and falling away from the church and how she came back. She told me this to show me that we all have faults. Yet as I tried to explain to her how my addictions hindered my ability to love or even like her she batted that away. Perplexed and confused I contined to pray for answers. Now some of you mentioned in some form or another that since I had addictions I could not connect with God and recieve answers. That is an outright lie! I hope you don't say that to people. I believe, no I know, that God answers all prayers no matter who it comes from! How would any sinner, addict, lost soul, or prodigal son ever get back on track if that were true? If it were true then why do we need the Atonement? If we can't ask for help and receive it properly then why even ask? Why even try? Do not spread that lie! It will destroy people! Now then, I prayed for guidance and I got only doubts, confusion, and issues bombarding my brain every second of everyday. I finally asked my brother who is an Elder's Quorum 2nd counselor for help. He said I should ask the question 'Should I break off this relationship?"' and see wht happens. He also said that the confusion and doubt was like trying ti tune into a radio station and getting static because I was not in line with what God wanted. So I prayed and prayed and prayed. The answer was clear. I needed to break up with this girl and focus on my myself. I need to love me now. I need to clear the road of my addicitons so I can continue on the path to Heavenly Father. I broke up with her 2 hours ago and I hope she will be ok. I told her what I have told you. Will she be ok? Did I do the right thing? I need to get more support I think. I also need to talk to my bishop. This is where I need some more advice. Should I tell my parents? How do I do that? How will they react? Now some of you mentioned how incredible it was that my priesthood leaders reacted with little or no emotion and were not as strict as you would think. Here in lies the next question. Is this offence punishible by disfellowship or excommunication? I thought that's what they would have done but they didn't. They even let me keep taking the sacrament and continue with my callings!. Is this wrong? How do I tell the new bishop, if the former preisthood leaders were wrong, what should be done? If he does the same as they did what do I do? Do I talk to the stake president or higher authority? I am truly scared of this but I think I should be excommunicated. Is that wrong? I think I told you that I have been keeping up the lie and going to the temple and keeping callings and such. That is why I beleive I should be excommunicated. Are there any bishops on here or ex-bishops or know bishops who could help me out? Like I said I am truly, deeply, extemely mortified and terrified at the thought of excommunication. Not only because of the embarrassment but because I will lose the gift of the Holy Ghost and the blessings I have recieved thus far through the church. Please let me know what the protocol is for bishops dealing with masturbation and pornography. Please let me know how best I should tell my parenst if I should at all. Again thank you all for your support and concern. dashb78
So about 8 or 9 years ago I was walking along the road with a friend of mine and we spotted a black bag on the side of the road. Turns out the black bag was full of porn, we both instantly got addicted and we did some not so good things together. I'm not gay, we just both happened to be at the same place at the same time. Anyway we eventually both tried to repent and we didn't do anything together anymore. I forgot about what happened and focused all my energy on Pornography. Just a few days ago I went into see the bishop about the pornography issue, we have worked things out. Then on my way home I remembered what I had done with my friend, it was a very hard thing to go in and talk about the porn and I thought I was clean. So what can I expect when I go in to see the bishop about this issue? Will he make me give him the name of my friend? And since it was so long ago will I still have the normal punishment?