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I am a new member who is discussing marriage with my current boyfriend who is a member. He is civilly divorced with 1 child. He is still sealed to his ex wife. I have some questions and concerns about the fact that he can't unseal from his ex wife. Everything I read online is very conflicting. Some say he can unseal, some say no, some say he needs permission from his ex wife, some say one of them needed to either be abusive or commit adultery for an unsealing. I have also read that if he gets a 'clearance' and we are married in the temple, then I will only be married to him for a time and he will be with his ex wife for eternity. This is bothersome to hear, as I wish to be with him for eternity and for any children we have to be with him as well. I have also read that a lot of people don't understand the feelings of a 2nd wife being concerned about him being sealed to two women and for the 1st wife to keep the blessings when she broke the covenant of remaining married to her husband. It is not natural for any woman to feel comfortable with the thought of their husband being tied (married, sealed, connected) with two women for eternity. Forgive me, but isn't multiple marriages no longer practiced and accepted within the church? Also, if the ex wife wishes to be with him for eternity and they are still sealed, but he wants to be with me and not her, who does God say yes to? He can't say yes to both. Everyone says, God will not force you to be with someone but how does that work when she is asking God to be with him? If she asks to be rejoined to her ex husband, am I then cast aside? If the ex wife and my boyfriend never get back together, then they are breaking their covenant under God and therefore, how would she receive the highest blessings by remaining sealed to him? All of this is very confusing and disheartening. I am still learning and don't fully comprehend scripture on this matter. Any insight and clarification would be appreciated. Especially from any woman who deals with the hard place of 2nd wife. Thank you!

I suppose this is a bigger problem to me than I dreamed. But something happened recently that has me in turmoil yet again. A brief background. My marriage was over 4 years after it began. This was a LONG time ago. I had and continue to have strong beliefs that my ex was in an adulterous affair...but no proof other than the circumstances. My sealing was cancelled 3 weeks after application....a record at the time so I feel the Church recognized that too. I moved on with my life, or so I thought. Fast forward 30 years. Out of the blue I get a letter from a bishop telling me my ex wants to be sealed in the Temple to his "new family". The bishop wants information from me about the divorce and its reasons etc. Talk about opening Pandora's box! Finally, and very reluctantly I provided the requested information, actually having to respond twice when the bishop told me my ex was denying everything. This was excruciating for me though not unexpected. I had not really dealt with the infidelity....not for all those years. It caused a crisis in my life....every single aspect of my life....that to some extent continues to this day. The thing that bothers me is after I provided EVERY detail the leader requested which left me emotionally and spiritually shattered, I was told I would not be informed of the outcome. The 1st Presidency could either allow the sealing immediately, allow it, but later, or not allow it. I thought I could be okay with that but 4 years afterward I find the truth is Im not. My ex was a liar and a cheat and even though he isnt fooling God, I have every reason to believe he tried to fool the Church....yet again. Can I do anything about it if he was allowed to be sealed again? No. Will it make a difference in my life? No. But occasionally people bring this up and ask questions and it pours salt in the wound yet again. So I would like to know whether they did or did not go to the temple. It would provide closure of a sort for me. Short of asking my bishop or asking him.....neither which Im ever gonna do....is there a way I can find out if they went to the temple? He lives several hundred miles away and I dont have the means for a PI. Anyone with experience in this area.....Id love to hear from you. PS. Im not looking for a sermon on forgiveness or on the atonement. Ive heard it all, and tried it all. This has been nearly 40 years in the making. Nor can I afford therapy over it even though it might be needed. So please dont waste my time and yours unless you have useful, practical info to add. Thank you.

My ex husband was excommunicated. What is the process for sealing cancellation? Will he still have to write a letter since he was excommunicated? Or do the Bishop, Stake President, and myself just need to write a letter to request my sealing to him be cancelled?

In our Quorum we have a someone who was a member with the melchizedek Priesthood years ago. For whatever reason he became divorced and had his name removed from the records. He and his current wife recently moved to our Ward and they became interested in the Gospel to the point they were re Baptized. He has been told that in order to give him the Priesthood they have to reinstate his orignial one which will reactivate his sealing to his first wife. He was told the only option was to get his ex wife to agree to removing the sealing. He knows she will not agree to do this since they have older children together. As a result he and his new wife are going to leave the church as they can not progress further without the Priesthood and it is difficult to attend and hearing about Priesthood duties etc and knowing he can't. Does anyone know of a way the church would allow him to receive the Priesthood without reactivating the sealing or how he can have the sealing removed without his ex wife's permission?

Hello everyone, my name is Diane and I live in Sunny California near Santa Barbara , at the Beach. I was baptized in 1995 along with my two girls and my now ex husband was baptized a week later. We were sealed in the Los Angeles Temple 1 year and a week later with our girls and our then 2 year old son. I recently re-married ( 2 years ago) to my Jr High/HS sweetheart, an amazing man, 30 years to the date after we first " dated" ( with our parents on an outing, as we were both only 15! ) We kept in touch after I was married for all but 10 years, and then he found me on Classmates in 2000. Our families were always friends, and it was wonderful hearing from him again ( he had married and divorced after only 6 years of marriage, I was married for 25 years to my first husband) Our Wedding was beautiful, he gave us both the wedding of our dreams, but not in the Temple as he was not a member at the time. He has always been interested in the church and investigated off and on through the past 11 years that we've been back in touch. We were always the best of friends, he also with my former husband. He began taking the discussions again right before wedding, but with a serious smoking habit, baptism committment took a while before he was completely ready and able to give cigarettes up completely. He surprised me a few weeks before his baptism by setting his date as the day before our First Wedding Anniversary, and was confirmed on our First anniversary! ( What more could I possibly want or need for my wedding gift? ) This year, on March 27th, his 1st Baptism anniversary date, he was ordained an Elder, and we celebrated our 2nd Wedding Anniversary the next day! We are now in Temple Prep classes and he is getting ready to receive his Endowments while I await my Sealing Cancellation ( which I will posting questions on, for any who know the process involved, please help! ) We have 5 children between us from 15 to 27, and 2 wonderful Granddaughters. Heavenly Father brought us back together again after 30 years, after many of life's experiences, celebrations and tragedies and both of our divorces ( his after 6 years, mine after 25 years! Both of our former spouses cheated. My ex stopped attending church only 2 years after we were sealed, and hasn't had anything to do with the church for 10 years now. He was not able to baptize our son, who waited on him to BE able to do so, but finally gave up 4 1/2 years ago at age 14 and was baptized by our bishop. This year my Husband will be ordaining my son to become an Elder, which is just one of the greatest blessings that Heavenly Father has given to our family! ) I am a Family History Consultant for my Stake ( if anyone needs help with your family history I am happy to help! Just ask! ) and attend the Temple as often as I can, usually at least once a month if not more. My husband went to the Temple to do Baptisms 2 weeks after his baptism!He is very excited to be able to go to the Temple with me soon, and it will be SUCH a blessing to have him there with me. I"m very happy to have found this forum, and very Thankful to Heather for starting it. I've looked at many postings the past couple of years but never posted anything, now I plan to become an active member here, and post a lot of questions I have, hopefully all of you who can answer, will! Thank you for allowing me the honor of introducing myself , I hope to get to know many of you here! Diane

my husband and i have been married almost a year now. he was sealed to his first wife but i wasnt sealed to my first husband. his ex is completely crazy, involved in drug use and distribution, is sexually active with multiple people she wasnt married to, drinks & smokes, has been convicted of child abuse and neglect and, no big surprise, became completely inactive. but before she dove into the crazy pool, she had 3 wonderful kiddos with my husband. (all of which i am raising full time since we have full custody and she only gets limited and supervised visitation) my husband is seaking a cancellation at my request because i cringe at the idea of being with her in eternity. i am a convert of 2 years now and i know i dont have all the answers, so if this is wrong, please educate me! is it wrong of me to not want to be sealed to him while he is sealed to her? and what are the chances they wont grant the cancellation? his ex is also severly ill. (lupus that has lead to kidney and heart failure and diabetes apparently) i feel so torn on the issue! i desperately want to be sealed to my husband, but the questions about his ex are overwhelming me. what if she gets her act together and we are both sealed to him? is there some way she could work out her salvation after death? as in...if she dies living the way she is now and still sealed to my husband, could she somehow work out her awful choices on earth and become worthy to enter the celestial kingdom? therefore ending up with us in eternity? i am kinda banking on, if we are only granted a clearance and they wont grant a cancellation of his sealing to her, her not living worthily to enter the celestial kingdom. nut can she reverse that after she dies? i am soooo confused! and all my bishop and husband can say is "have faith. there is order in heaven and Heavenly Father is just." but i know the verses about that which is bound on earth shall be bound in heaven. how do i take the words of men over the scriptures?