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  1. I have been faced with what I would call the most difficult challenge, I would not wish on my worst enemy. I have asked the how's, when's and why me's, and find my heart breaks everyday. To cut a very long story short..... I am married and I'm gay..... I did not wake up on morning and decide I wanted to be like this, to be hated, to hate myself, to destroy my family, be depressed..... suicidal.... No, I definitely did not choose this. Now I have to live with myself. I have been excommunicated, but I love the church and all it's teachings. I love the gospel and the guidance it brings. I know the church to be true, I believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and I believe in eternal families..... I know right from wrong and not wish to be trashed, but would appreciate some insight on this. I want to love as well as be loved, and I want to live the gospel at the same time..... but I cannot have both..... how do I live with myself? Where does this leave me?
  2. The reason I chose that for my ID is that I am a Mormon, for much of my adult life (I'm a convert), and I am a Mema! I have six wonderful grownup children, and nine wonderful grandchildren. I spent most of my adult life in VA, but moved to AR five years ago, when my younger daughter and her family moved here. I like it here, but sometimes I miss the Atlantic Ocean. I also miss my family back in VA. My favorite hobby is blogging, and I'm an Internet addict. I'm also a great fan of the Internet because of the good it can do. I've discovered it's a great missionary tool. It's also very helpful in my calling as a church bulletin designer. When I'm not eating and sleeping at my computer , I also like reading and music. This is just a very brief intro to me, and of course there's much more I could tell. I'm looking forward to getting to know people here, and sharing the light of the gospel and the love of community with you. I have a very strong, and vibrant testimony. I know it's true. :)
  3. I actually had a miracle of sorts to convince me the restored gospel is true. After studying it out for five and a half weeks in the US Army in 1973 (five returned missionaries taught me the doctrines and I went to FHE) I had my first missionary lesson. First of all I offerred a prayer asking Heavenly Father if this fantastic story was true or just man-made. [i liked mormons and the doctrine. I had two issues with it that were successfully explaine to me: plural marriage and the fact that not all could hold the priesthood. I felt both of these positions went contrary to my understanding of Christianity; but I recieved satisfactory explanations. But I didn't know if all of this was just a clever man-made idea or from God. I guess I was too young]. Anyway, the missionaries started with the flannel-board discussion which was on Ephesians 4:11 at that time - the foundation of the church and how when the Apostles were killed the foundation was gone, etc. I already went through this with my friends in the army so I fully understood and agreed with the logic of it all. Here's where the miracle comes in though: As the missionaries began to speak I heard nothing coming out of their mouths while I saw their lips moving. I heard all the words coming from directly over my head and a bit in front; I even looked up. I didn't see anyone, however, I seemed to recognize that it came from a familiar fiend or spirit that had been guiding me along as I searched for what God had in store for me. For I had been praying for some time to be guided by God and indeed I had been. In fact, I recieved a sign to join the army, which I would never had done (Viet Nam war going on and all) unless I did get the sign that I did; but that's another story. This event - the voice above my head and not hearing any sound coming from the missionaries as they spoke - was the proof I was looking for. I joined and have never had any doubts that Joseph Smith and all succeeding prophets have been genuine. So that's it.
  4. "Why do you believe what you believe?" is a question I like to ask those who profess faith or belief in anything. This is not just a question I pose to those of religious faith, but to those who believe pretty much anything. After all, how do we really know anything? While this question of whether or not we really "know" something could have volumes written about it alone, I tend to direct my question more specifically to how an individual (specifically the individual to whom I am asking the question) knows what they know or believes what they believe. I'm not looking for the "right" or "perfect" answer, merely if there is an answer at all. I'm often surprised how many never really think this through because I consider it to be an essential element to my believing anything. So why is this important to me? It is everything to me. I feel to properly confess belief in anything I must understand why I believe it. For instance, if you were to ask me why I believe the earth is round, I wouldn't tell you it was from personal experience - rather it is that I believe my textbooks and those professors of knowledge who have told me so. I believe the images I have seen of the earth from space and that they are not forgeries nor misconstrued. If you asked me if I could prove the earth was round, I would not be able to do so - merely refer you to a perceived authority on the subject and let you make the decision of whether or not you believed them yourself. So you might say that I don't really "know" the earth is round and in a sense, you are absolutely correct. I don't "know" it at all. So would you say that I believe it blindly? No, that would not be correct, because my belief is based in reason - I believe that those who believe that the earth is round are telling the truth - you could say, I have "faith" in them. Wait, how can I be talking about faith on a purely scientific subject, isn't it reserved only for religious people? Absolutely not. I have faith that the people who tell me the earth is round are telling me the truth even though I don't have the evidence myself. I have faith because I do not know of myself - I have faith because I do know with complete certainty that they are not lying to me. So with this definition of faith, I could say that I have faith in pretty much everything. I have faith that when I rise from my chair and go to my bedroom tonight, that my bed will be as I left it. Do I have proof of this? Not from my current vantage point. My bed could indeed be missing and I would have no idea. I believe my bed is still there though I cannot say with certainty. Of course the question of the bed's existence is easy (without getting too metaphysical) as I could merely stand up and check if it is still there. The point is though, when I act on knowledge I don't immediately possess, I act with faith that what I believe is true. Sometimes we can be deceived by our faith. Our faith in people, for instance, can be misplaced. Our faith in our bodies can also let us down. When your faith is proven wrong - in other words, when you found out that what you believed and were acting upon was not indeed true, what do you do about it? I find it important to reevaluate why it was that I believed what I did, that way I can potentially prevent a similar error in judgment. This is why it is so very important to know why you believe what you believe. If you do not understand a belief's origins it essentially becomes tautological - an argument that by its very nature cannot have its inverse proven (basically a belief that is unprovable and impossible to disprove). While tautological arguments are not inherently bad nor immediately untrue, they can be difficult to combat when really trying to get at the basis for a belief to determine if that belief is valid or worth having. Some base their beliefs completely upon the results of their belief. This is effective and pragmatic, but doesn't necessary make for sound arguments. For instance, "I believe that drinking is wrong, therefore I don't drink. Because I don't drink, I avoid the ills associated with drinking, therefore it validates my belief that drinking is wrong." This is pragmatic, but not necessarily true (or logical). I find that often this is enough for a person's basis in belief and many are content to leave it at that. I personally feel that I must have more and in that am generally an incredibly skeptical person. That being said, I am also an incredibly religious person. Can a skeptic be religious? I say of course. A skeptic is someone who questions something, but even a skeptic who finds enough evidence to believe something can exercise faith in it. As such, I have enough evidence to convince me that my religious beliefs are worthwhile. So to come full circle - why do I believe what I believe? Using the reasoning I described above, it can be safely assumed that anything I believe in I have a reason for that is generally faith based. Even when I experience something myself, I must still exercise some faith that what I perceived to be real was indeed as I perceived it to be. This goes for everything: from faith that my bed is where I left it, faith that my car will take me all the way to school, faith that some great discovery will not turn modern neuroscience on its head and force me to change my major, and finally even faith that my religious beliefs are valid. Because so many of the other elements of faith are very intuitive to those reading this blog, I will focus the rest of this discussion on why I believe what I believe religiously and why am I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I believe that the man Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God, that he saw God and Jesus Christ, that they revealed to him that he should reform God's true and original church in these latter days. As such, I believe that what Joseph Smith said God told him to do, God did indeed tell him to do and it was for a wise purpose even if I do not fully understand it. I believe that the church he formed is God's true and living church upon the earth today and it will endure until Jesus Christ returns again. I believe that He, Jesus Christ is the head of this church and is guiding and directing its leaders today. I believe therefore that what the leaders of my church advise us to do is true, that it is from God directly for me to hear and that I will obey as if commanded by God Himself. But why do I believe these things? While I have had many positive experiences since having joined the church, it is my initial experiences in the end that have convinced me. I believe that after opening my heart to the idea that it could be true, and exercising faith to find out for myself if it was indeed true, that God Himself revealed to me that the church is true and that Joseph Smith was his prophet. He revealed it to me by a power I cannot completely describe, but one of such force that I am convinced totally that it was God who spoke to me, and that if I were to deny it, it would be as if denying that I am alive I am so convinced of it. I am convinced with such awesome force that this belief kept me from making many tempting mistakes and even lead me back from the brink of my own destruction despite every knowledgeable voice in the world telling me I was doomed. I will not describe the entirety of these events here in this post so as not to derail it. Suffice it to say, the experience further impressed upon me how complete my conversion was. I believe these things because I was humble, asked God, and was convinced with awesome power. Can I prove it to you? No. I know of myself, but my experiences were personal and very much my own, however I do believe that God is consistent and that He can reveal to you that which he has revealed to me should you seek it. So what is your basis of belief?
  5. Howdy y'all! I just wanted to take sec and intro myself and my life, uh, issues? Ok, some are great and some are crazy but it all goes into the same ball of yarn. First and foremost I have a testimony of the truthfullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I would be a sad person without Heavenly Father in my life guiding me. I have always felt the truthfulness of the Gospel, and it definitely is not without its temptations. Story: I grew up in the church, we are Mormon as far back as I can dig, I did it all, Beehive president, Miamaid president, Laurel president (not patting my back, just there was no one else at the time, so I got it by default, lol!) then went on to college to Ricks for a year, then to Texas to be a nanny and was in the Primary presidency in the branch there til I decided to go on a mission, served a mission in Seoul, Korea-LOVED it!!!, came back, served in the singles ward in home town for a year, moved to Utah (HATED that!!) went to singles ward again, got a job in California, moved down here, went to singles ward for a year, still no mr, right! Then my Muslim man came and literally swept me off my feet! He loved me for me. I look like a cabbage patch doll that grew up, really really, but he still loved me. I didnt fit in in the singles wards in Idaho, Utah, or California. I was really REALLY mad that Heavenly Father did not send me a good mormon boy to marry me, I got a Muslim. So I was angry AND bitter, boy was I bitter!!! I decided that I wasn't going to get a Mormon guy and I was so in love with my Muslim man!! So I went inactive for more than 8 years, trying my best to stay off the church's radar. OH, and my honey had SERIOUS baggage! (Ex wife, 4 bitter kids, you know, worst case senario divorce situation, however, we were able to win one back and she calls me momma now, how I adore her!! I can't have children myself so she is a blessing!) Anyway, my life continued down a serious bad slope to the point I nearly committed suicide. I finally gave in and called the local Stake office and looked for the ward I lived in and the rest is history. I have been the CTR 5 teacher, loved it!! And now I am the Laurel Advisor, SCARY but LOVE IT ADORE IT!!! I told them I wasn't old enough for that calling (mentally!! lol!!) but evidently I was supposed to be there. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Throughout my life with my husband, it has been confirmed to me over and over agian of why I am with him. He is a good good man, would give anyone the shirt off his back, well no, he would buy them a brand new one, he needs his shirt, lol. Yes, I have been to Egypt and visited his 5 sisters and one brother (I have 5 brothers, no sisters) and they love me and the feeling is equal!! They did not try to get me to cover my hair to convert me, they loved me for who I was, and more importantly that I loved their brother, (the first wife didn't do that so good). There is so much more to this story, that is just an intro, you ought to hear how we met!! Anyway, I am so happy that Rain intro'd me to this website. There are so many good ideas and minds in here! I am TOTALLY open for ANY AND ALL questions regarding my life with my husband and the Muslim faith. My husband still practices faithfully and we both support each other in our faiths, dont get me wrong, we still have our problems, doesn't everyone? But please feel free! Look forward to hearing from y'all! sincerely---mrscurlymo
  6. This is a book that will help strengthen one's testimony in the face of criticism and doubt. Michael Ash helps the reader to understand the anti-Mormon criticisms and attacks and gives logical explanation of answers to these attacks with help of modern discoveries that support the authenticity of Book of Mormon as translated ancient scriptures, its geography, the textual changes, and a lot more. I suggest this book for reading for anyone who wants to add some knowledge to his/her testimony. I know testimony comes thru the witness of the Holy Ghost but to testify to people who criticize the church, you must have knowledge of what their attacks are and the answers to those attacks. I just finished it this morning while I was on the bus.