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I've been married for 13 years to a man I met in NZ while on his mission. We have 5 kids, he works and goes to school and we're in the process of finishing immigration, so I can finally have a job/career! (Our youngest started 1st grade this year) Here's my dilhema. I understand that by seeking out a divorce, you're breaking a covenant you have entered into with our Heavenly Father. I understand that divorce is ALWAYS hard, especially when kids are involved and that you should try to do all you can before resorting to something so final. I also realize that everyone has flaws and faults, so our marriage is definitely not one-sided, with me as the victim. We have gone to counselling, I've gone to solo counselling (I had a bad upbringing) I also have no family here in the country, nor are they members. I have attended the marriage class with my husband, on sundays. I've attended regular appointments with our Bishop in 3 different wards over several years. This is the first time, however, that I am truly striving to do the right thing. No matter WHAT! Here's where things get messy. My husband is abusive. Verbally, emotionally, sometimes physically. He degrades us (me & the kids) and then blames his actions ON us, he's constantly turning any situation around, so he is not the responsible one, and no matter how hard it is, I'll (not every time - I'm not perfect. But definitely 8 out of 10 times) respond with how I can change or what I need to improve in the situation, but can he understand that the way he dealt with whoever, screaming and calling them "you are a freaking MORONIC piece of S***. Useless a**hole - you're so pathetic." etc. etc. To be fair, I've lost it before as well, I'm not pointing out his shortcomings, all I'm trying to gain is advice on what do I do from here? He doesn't respect Bishophric authority, he has no recommend, I don't see him pray (to be fair - I think he does now and then) He doesn't read, and our children beg me to fix this. He also works 3 jobs, and attends school fulltime, so if he's not working nightshift, he's actually here maybe 24 hours in a total week? I've read talks, scriptures, prayed on what I can do differently - only now. I'm out of ideas. I feel like I'm not understanding the Spirit (he's told me it's not the Spirit telling me this or that ...???) But I can say, he believes in the Church. He just doesn't quite live it? Please give me any advice on what I could do to try to get him to see. Or should I take my children and break that covenant? Serious answers only, please. And Thanks. :)
What do I do? I know that my Husband is breaking his covenants, but I don't know what to do. It isn't my responsibility to tell our Bishop - only he can repent, but it's straining our marriage. My husband is recently unemployed and looking for work, I am employed full time and at work all day. My husband has (or what I thought was prevously) struggled with an addition to pronography and masturbation. We have talked to our bishop and his temple recommendation and priesthoods were revoked for two years. Recently, just this month, we were able to attend the temple together again. For me, this was the first time I was able to attend the temple ever. I'm a convert to the church and I had many apprehensions to overcome as well as addictions of my own. However, taking the temple prep class + prayer and meetings with the bishop allowed me to overcome my addictions to be completely worth of my recommend. I made 100% sure of that. June 9th was my endowment and I recently just went back to the temple for the second time on Monday (the 18th) with my husband. After we left the temple, he says to me that he realized that it's not enough to tell Satan to begone from our presence to relieve our addictions but that we have to do this, plus we have to move away and forward. I had hope in me that we were both maintaining our worthiness. Come to find out, last night we were intimate and he could not finish. I knew from previous experience that meant that he had pleasured himself earilier in the day. I asked him to stop, and asked him sincerely to answer if he had. He said that he did and I thanked him for his honesty. We went to bed with that being said, but since then I have been so upset. I just cannot allow him to enter the temple having violated these sacred covenants nor preform his priesthoods in our home knowing that he may not be worthy to have them. It's not my saying, it's up to the bishop, but I feel he obtain his recommend under false pretenses and I am just betrayed. I love my husband dearly, but I am not sure what to do. He is very prideful and stubborn. He does not like being told what to do, and in previous times when he has done something as "little" as masturbation, bishops have often given him the "resist temptation" speech. But this goes further, I know he has a problem and should not be allowed to continue to violate such convenants without serious circumstances. Even having preisthoods, recommend, and sacrament revoked for 2 years seemed to do nothing...I am at a loss. He just doesn't seem repentant....any advice on what do to?
My boyfriend and I can't seem to stay worthy long enough to get recommends. But we don't want to just get married civilly because that's more of a cop out. Because yes, a year after a civil marriage you can get married in the temple. But there's no real "repentance" when you can have sex every day without guilt, you know? This has been going on for like 2 years. We've been dating for 3 years. We just can't stay worthy for more than like 6 months. For the past year and 3 months we've only messed up 3 times with "petting". but i mean, we've never gotten our temple recommends because we were waiting for a year for something else. Doesn't it seem hard to postpone marriage for worthiness while being extremely tempted with someone you have been dating 3 years? Does anyone know what it's like? How can we just freaking stop sinning so that finally we can just get married like we've wanted to all along?!!! It's like doubly hard. An uphill battle, it feels like. BTW, I've gone to my bishop quickly for each of these offenses. And I pray every night and read scriptures and such. Bonus question: Is it possible to run out of second chances? Cuz I've been to my bishop a lot since I keep repeating my offense. Although I am getting better overall. Will it ever get to a point when I will no longer be eligible for eternal life and those things? I'm 22.
I have a BF who is a non member and we have been dating for almost 8 months. I am 18 and used to have a very very strong testimony in the church. I miss having it in my life. I am scheduled to see my bishop for an annual interview on sunday but I don't know if I want to tell him about my bf and I. The two of us haven't had sex... but we kiss on top of each other and stuff. I tell my BF that i have mixed feelings about it becuase of the church, but he tell me to think for myself.. when should I tell my bishop? my boyfriend is leaving in a month for college i think it would be easier if i just waited until after he leaves. do you think i'm worthy to go to the temple? my friends are coming to pick me up right now....