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So, I'm afraid to talk about this anymore to anyone who is close to me because I feel like I am causing everyone to hate my husband...so, I thought I would try a forum of strangers! I was raised in the church but was inactive most of my teen and college years. I met my husband my Sophmore year of college and we were married the following year. We were pretty wild and things were starting to get out of control-my brother who was serving a mission at the time, combined with a lot of prayers (by my family) and promptings from the HG, I decided to go back to church. My husband was interested and joined as well...we had four kids and a pretty good marriage...then four years ago he was diagnosed ADD and started taking Aderol, shortly after that he started having serious back issues and started taking various meds for that, then two years ago he was diagnosed (by his general prac) with bipolar disorder and started taking meds for that. I'm not sure which one of these conditions/meds or a combination of them has started causing problems but we have basically gone down hill since then. In the beginning of July he started taking Xanex and went totally crazy! I won't go into all the details but lets just say July and August were a nightmare. He left the church, started drinking, smoking pot, dipping, lying, listening to rap and acting like a jerk. He left for awhile to be with his family back in Oklahoma who are terrible influences with all their partying, drama, and total lack of motivation...but, I got him to come home with a lot of patience and love (maybe some begging). He told me he wanted to baptize our son (he turned 8 Oct 4th) and come back to church...unfortunately, that fell through as well (not surprised), now he is back to drinking, dipping, and isolating himself. Not to mention, he is on disability, waiting for his third back surgery...I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! I love my husband with all my heart and we have a wonderful family! But I am so tired of this emotional rollercoaster- I don't trust him and he is VERY extreme with everything (we are also going through bankruptcy), I feel like him drinking is going to eventually destroy our marriage (and not only because he is extreme but also because it alienates us from eachother). I asked him to quit (begged) and he refused- I just don't know what to do anymore! I feel so hurt and angry (and worry that he is really going to end up being a negative influence on our kids)- he is really acting so selfish! Early on, when I prayed about it; I got a very descisive answer to stay with him; but now I am so hurt and frustrated that I feel like I am tuning out the HF's answers...I can't hear/feel a thing after I pray about him...I feel so lonely, hurt, angry, especially since now I am doing EVERYTHING- and I have to be the awesome mom who has it together all the time; its exhausting! Please if you read this pray for us (God will know who you're talking about- I talk His ear off constantly!!!) and if you have any helpful advice, do share!!
I am in a sad and confusing situation. My husband doesn't realize that the words he speaks are often hurtful and demeaning, even though a marriage counsellor has told him that he needs to think before he speaks. I have been successful in putting these remarks in the background for 15 years but am unable to do so anymore, they just keep coming. I do not enjoy good health and am often in much pain and so the words seem to cut me even harder. I do have some friends here who are most supportive, and a therapist, but am uncomfortable speaking with my Bishop about this because no one seems to believe he can be so cruel, and they put it to my illness. I have not met my visiting teacher, she only writes, and the Relief Society President has been no help, she told me to just not pay attention. But the words keep coming and the pain in my heart grows. I am happier when he is away than when he is home and I feel I must be on guard in all I say and do for fear of a nasty, demeaning and hurtful comment. Any suggestions?