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Found 2 results

  1. My dad has been gone for 2 weeks today. Now that the funeral and everything is over, Mom is really struggling. I think she was in shock/denial for a long time. I understand that this is normal and that she needs to grieve, but does anyone, especially our resident widows, have any advice on how we can help her through this?
  2. spirettedotter

    Need Advice about Widowers

    Are there any sisters who have married a widower and can advise me about involvement with a widower? Or any widowers who are happily remarried? How long does a man take to move forward? I understand everyone heals at their own pace and that there's no way to predict about individual healing time, love, or the future for that matter... But men and women handle pain and grief so differently, and I've heard so much about the woes of waiting for a widower to let go of his deceased wife. I'd especially love to hear some happy endings. I relate to being a widow myself, having lost my first love/husband (after divorce), AND 10 years ago losing my fiance' who I would have married in the temple. It took me 8 (!)years before I was ready to even consider a relationship because I felt content and loved with his spirit close to mine. Now I am pretty badly smitten with my new friend who lost his wife of 35yrs, nearly two years ago. For the first few months of dating, he seemed to be head-over-heels for me too, and coming on quite strong (within proper boundaries--though very motivated for physical intimacy within a projected marriage). Then he suddenly got confused about what he wanted and backed way off, though said he still wants for us to be friends. I gave him his space gracefully, but we've continued to be friends and support and enjoy one another, though less regularly. He seems to fluctuate now from wanting more intimacy, contact, and playfulness with me, to thinking we have no future to investigate and that his family would never understand. Some of the obstacles he's brought up are regular issues most older dating couples deal with: several hours distance, blending homes, older children, and in-laws. I want to continue getting to know him and tackle the challenges together as a team when and if the time comes and it feels right. He's said he doesn't want our friendship to end, but doesn't know if he'll ever be ready. Is it just too soon? I know of several other LDS widowers who are seeking relationships quickly after their losses. I am feeling very vulnerable, but drawn to him in every way. After many years, really since I was a young adult with my first husband, this is the first time I feel this attracted and comfortable about a special man. Anyone whose had experiences on either side, PLEASE advise! Thank you in advance!