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I am in a real pickle. I love my boyfriend, we have already decided to get married, and we would really like to just start our lives together already, but we can't. We're not worthy for the temple. We both attend church regularly, but we've been struggling with the law of chastity for a while now. It's not improving, either. It's complicated, but he is afraid of going to the bishop now since it will impact his employment and education. I'm ready to go to the bishop whenever, but we want to do it together. He keeps saying that we'll be good for awhile and then when we've been good for some time, we'll go to the bishop. But the problem is that it's not working. We definitely need help. We already ruled out a civil marriage because it's not what we want. Although, I was more pro-civil marriage than he was. But I'm not opposed to trying to repent before we are married. So now it's like we definitely act like a married couple, and yet we're not, and it's so frustrating. We're committed to each other just the same as if we made actual vows of marriage, but we didn't. Has anyone ever been stuck in a situation like this? What did you do about it? We are still interested in being sealed in the temple one day, but we're really caught up right now in this mess.
I might be a little cynical... but how is it possible that ALL of my friends were temple worthy when they got married, except the ones who went off the deep end anyway? I know I'm not the only one who struggles with the Law of Chastity, so do people just get married in the temple to save face? Sorry, that sounds very negative, but it's kind of weird to me how few people I know in my age bracket (high marriage rate) end up getting married civilly. I feel like people are pressured into pretending to be worthy for the temple or something when I know they're not. I know it's none of my business, but it's just annoying.
I am 25 and dating someone who I want to marry, but we are not worthy for the temple. I've struggled with chastity issues for the past 5 years. He's struggled for the past 10 years. At what point do you decide to just get a civil marriage? Of course we could be sealed after we're married. But at this rate, I'm never going to get married because I'm never worthy long enough to actually make it to the temple. And yet I'm too ashamed to admit it to the world and my family that I suck at life and can't get married in the temple. It's always been a no-brainer that I would marry in the temple. I know it's not right and God is displeased with me, but, is it sometimes acceptable to marry outside of the temple? I am otherwise a good member of the church and you'd never know it by looking at me that I have a problem. Repentance works and I have faith in it, I just can't seem to actually kick this and it's almost getting to the point that it's more harmful to my spiritual progression that I'm not married. It sounds weird, but I feel like I can't put off marriage forever. If I tried to repent and start over (and break up with my boyfriend) that would be another year or so and even then there's no guarantee that I will finally somehow overcome this. I'm sadly giving up trying now. I guess I just want to know if anyone else has had to make this kind of decision and how did it turn out for you? If you're wondering, I love my boyfriend and DON'T want to break up with him. That's why I'm asking about civil marriages. Ha ha