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  1. Hello everyone, its been years since I've posted. I've followed many of the threads here and seeing marriage from an eternal perspective, I've noticed marriage really isn't all that its cracked up to be. Now, I'm speaking as a single person and never married, I was in a relationship with my first (and only girlfriend) of 6 years. We almost got married and after reading all these threads... I'm so glad I didn't. So glad, that its becoming at a point where marriage is just not... for lack of better words, worth it? Yes, there is the "checklist" of that temple marriage in order to get into the celestial kingdom, but I've seen its comes to to a point after 6+ years of marriage, thats where the real work begins. The whole honeymoon phase is well past gone where children are usually in the mix, and everyone's urging advice is to avoid divorce. And I agree. The interesting part is, that we have to start giving up on our own desires, wants, needs, etc. in order to fully love our spouse, I agree with that also. Now, isn't that just being codependent? Hear me out, here. I'm not being cynical or trying to troll or whatever, but I really think ideally a good marriage is between two people who are codependent (I know, sounds ridiculous). After my break up with my fiance, I look back at how much I catered to her, sacrificing whatever integrity I had or pride, or needs. I started reading all the material i had about codepedency, and now i realize, why should I be fixing that? Isn't that how spouses should be treating each other? From what I've read, that's what the advice (I've interpreted) on here is. Your marriage comes to a point where you have to literally work for your love, work for your happiness. Here's what I quickly searched: That's what I see marriage is about now because of what I've read, except its two partners placing the needs of each other's needs before their own. Taken to the extreme? A bit, yes. I'll admit, all the times I was aware I was putting all my needs second to hers I was excited, happy, that I was doing something nice for her, knowing that it would make her day. If that was reciprocated, that would be the ideal marriage for me, because I'd be aware that she'd be doing the same... ...but frankly, I'm not ready to do that just yet.