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Found 4 results

  1. I'm losing faith in the most painful way. I don't even think I am worth it anymore. I don't think I'm worth anything to Heavenly Father anymore. I've lost so much of my innocence. I've been stuck in the world's influences. I can't feel what I felt a long time ago when I was young...when I still had a good character. I've sinned so much and I just think I am to the point that I am also evil. I have a history of abuse in the family (when I was young), that's what probably triggered my rebellion and depression. After the abuse, I felt like my world fell apart. I didn't belong or fit in, in any of the kids in high school. I should've listened to the church...but I gave in to the peer pressure. I have tried many "substances" before, to take away the pain from the abuse..I got addicted to drugs in high school, but I got help from that. I know this is really personal to me but I am writing this as my last resort because I'm trying to find hope in these dark waters...I also got addicted to pornography, ever since me and my ex gf got together in high school...I was introduced to this stuff...and it could ruin my life. I want to stop it. When I got bullied in school, I think I completely changed my personality, I became an anxious person and very moody, violent and very angry. It kind of drove me away from my family. Now, I'm sitting here, now 24 yrs. old, still addicted to pornography and wanting to stop it..I'm just lucky enough that I still have family support.I am trying to find help, it can be really hard to find help sometimes...it's hard not to get judged by other church members...it's hard to find reliable friends these days. Times are hard when you're an adult. and I don't really feel like I belong to the church community. Regarding that I get social anxiety and am afraid of being judged because I might say something weird or bad or out of the ordinary...I really want my spirit to be in line with God again. I feel empty and depressed. It feels like my spiritual side is gone. It feels like I've been numbed down.
  2. I joined this forum as a last possible attempt to get my mind and my heart straight. I am over 60 and have gradually discovered that I am most possibly a bad person. My wife has told me this many times and although I have not done anything that is majorly wrong, I obviously have not been the husband that she wants. I have only heard her say "I love you" or "I am sorry" more than a handful of times. I really feel that I am worth more to my family if I was gone, than I am here. Anyway, I find myself planning and researching ways to end my life. I am hoping that maybe I don't have to do it, but at this point, unless something major happens, I will do it before summer. Has anyone else been in this situation?
  3. Can you feel the spirit on Antidepressant medication? A friend of mine said when she was on antidepressants it put her in "zombie mode" and that it made it so she never felt sad but also never felt happy, and she didn't feel the spirit while she was on them. I am hoping to hear from others who are on antidepressants, or have been on them, (which medication are you on specifically) and if you can feel the spirit while on them?
  4. I have been born and raised in the church. I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but the people in the church are pushing me away from going. Especially the bishop. I have a partial Native American/pioneer heritage. I have times when Jesus and Satin are fighting over my soul. I can feel this but am like an outsider looking in and have no choice over the end result and have come close to suicide. I recently told my bishop this and he said he would get me into therapy and has done nothing. I told him that the only thing that keeps me from doing it is being afraid of facing God afterword. He said that he is sure that there are exceptions. Really what I needed to hear. I feel like there is more, but I can't find it. My mind, body, heart, and spirit are fighting to find more. My heritage brings with it "gifts" that I have been taught are against the church, so I fight a constant battle of this. I have several "gifts" I want to learn to use better but find no answers because of my testimony and the way I was taught. How does one bring their heritage and their up bringing together to make them work? How does the church feel about having "gifts". I really need some help here and am afraid of being excommunicated if I ask.