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Showing results for tags 'desire'.
In what ways are you better managing your time for God? How do you manage your 24 hours? (From the Gospel and Productive Life) Here are just some few ways that I manage the time that God gives us everyday. I like to remember that my life is for God, to do what He wants me to do, to help how he wants me to help, to live how he wants me to live. I've been doing a lot of thoughtless facebook scrolling only to ask myself, why I'm scrolling? I've decided to refocus the time spent on Facebook to be more positively active in social media through the many outlets we have available to us. Wordpress, Tumblr, MormonHub. I like to ask myself, "How can I help?" Instead of "Wow, those people need help" I realize I had to create a vision for my life and set goals. I can now reflect on my choices to look for opportunities to live freely and happier. Without creating a vision and writing down goals, I had no direction or sense of time. I use to think too much about changing the behaviors and life of others that my own life became unmanageable. The Peace I've felt from God after accepting that I can not change others but I can change who I am to others. So I use my time focusing on How I can better myself for God to use me and when I think of other people, I remember that God is in control. Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing who holds the future; my life and your life is in the hands of the Lord. I stop getting mad at bad drivers cause i realize that i am no better. Lol. I stopped looking for perfect people cause nobody is perfect. There are just people who are perfect for us. You might give me headache and I might give you a headache. But ultimately you teach me patience, understanding, keeping no record of wrongs and you also teach me that there are other ways to see the world than the way I see it. For that I am grateful instead of resentful. Instead of complaining about the task at hand or the trial itself, I just obey and do. No words from my mouth. My thoughts will be "It's for my own good, His will be done". I always remember previous experiences of when God put me through challenging times so I can be perfected through it. This makes me Smile and Rejoice. I use to have a bad tendency in going over my time limit on things such as writing this entry. So now I give myself a set time for things. How do you manage the 24 Hours of Life that God gives you everyday? I will be adding to this daily
I am 20 years old and married. My sister has a baby and her and her fiance live with my parents, as do me and my husband because we are going through a move. My husband wants kids so badly and he is so good with them but I have absolutely no desire. No matter how cute or sweet a baby or kid is, I still can only get myself to be around them for a short time. Everyone is pressuring me saying I have to have kids and I feel absolutely guilty that I want nothing to do with them. I am repulsed by them and I honestly think I would be a bad mom. I think most kids are spoiled little brats and when I see my sister let my 1 year old niece get away with everything, it angers me even more. I want to want kids for my husband but I have absolutely no desire and I don't know what to do. I have never had the urge to have kids and I have never liked babysitting since I was of age to and I avoided babies like the plague. I don't know what to do, I don't think I will ever change my mind...
I need to talk to someone about this in a more neutral environment. I am a life long member. My family is a good family. We had FHE weekly. My parents went to the temple weekly. I graduated from Seminary only missing maybe 5 days in four years of seminary. I went to church college. I served a mission. I got married in the temple to a woman I love. I have children. Served in stake positions such as High Council. I attend church weekly even when on vacation (usually but not always). I love the church. I love the members. I love the gospel. I am temple worthy (more on this in a moment). (the above is not to toot my horn but to provide background) In all this (with the exception of one time which I will explain in a moment) I thought or I do (dilemma) have a testimony. Over the past years, my logical mind (I will call it that because I'm not sure how else to define it) has come to the conclusion that there is no god and thus by extension do not believe the church is true. This scares me. I don't not want to believe in God. I don't not want to believe in the Book of Mormon or Joseph Smith. I don't not want to believe that President Monson is a prophet of God. Over the past few years though these feelings come into my head and I don't know what to do. After years of struggling I made a mistake and hurt my wife. I started trying caffeinated (i know that isn't necessariy a big deal but I've grown up with out such things) drinks, R Rated movies, and coffee. One day when out with my wife I talked her into taking a drink (this was insanely dumb-I'm not sure why she did it accept she trusts/ed me). Of course after the fact I needed to tell her why. If anything I should have told her first. So I told my wife that I no longer believed in God (this may have been a mistake). At first she was extreamly angry (I don't blame her) and for a night or two there wan't much sleeping and lots of (lets say) discussion. It seemed I may loose her and if her I would lose my family. Finally I told her that I did not want to loser her and that there is a testimony left, that I do believe. With her help I had myself released from my (not to put it in a worldly terms) substantial calling with the Bishop's full knowledge of the above. At times she still will suddenly get upset and teary eyed and talk about her desire for an eternal marriage (which I want as well). I tell her that I still believe but the doubts are still there. Soon my Temple Recommend will expire and I don't know how to proceed. Like I said, I don't not want to be a member. I don't not want to have a temple recommend. I want an eternal marriage. But these doubts keep entering my head. I pray here and there but I don't feel anything there, like I'm talking to myself. This has been one of the biggest parts of my doubts. I "feel the spirit" when at church when talking about people's stories of faith. When at church or talking to people I think how can I deny this when I feel these things. But these feelings of "logical" thought and my doubts continue to return--strongly. I really don't know what to do. I felt like I needed to talk with people in a place like this. Any thought, comments, questions would be appreciated. Thank you.