Hi all,
I think I've managed to work myself into a corner and I don't seem to be able to get any sense or response from my ward/stake leaders. I also can't get much sense from studying things out myself, I have been trying for months.
Basically I feel as though whenever things go right in my life, as in things that would please Heavenly Father, something has to come along for me or my family to make things hard. The worst of these being my husband's cancer. And now I'm stuck in a situation where I am frightened to even turn to Heavenly Father anymore, let alone go back to church (I have been unable to attend with my husband's illness) because it will cause more suffering and heartache in mine and my family's lives.
I'm looking for something to say "yes, that's the case" or "no, that's not the case". I just feel completely at a loss. There's part of me that feels that I should just man up and let whatever awfulness might come happen, but there's another part of me that knows it's not just about me, it's about my family too and I don't want to put them through more distress.
Your thoughts are all most welcome.
XXX