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Showing results for tags 'emotional affair'.
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Hi yall. I am here again. Might as well call me a regular I guess since this site is pretty awesome. So for context, me and my girlfriend of 6 months broke up at the beginning of this fall as she was contemplating serving a mission and in the end we to part ways and committed to see each other on the other side (post mission). For a month and a few weeks we didnt have any communication like we used to and when we saw each other, we limited it to small talk "hey how are classes etc". Then out of the blue she texted me to talk so we did. During this talk she said that she didnt feel that it was a calling from the Lord to serve a mission and a lot of pressure was placed onto her from her mother. She concluded that she wants to be back in a relationship with me. I accepted as I do love her and so for three weeks now we have been dating and it has been a greatly God centered relationship like it was before, only the spirit appears to be so much more involved (we arent letting things get out of hand). During the time of our split she has made many close guy friends, one of which is on her sports team who she described to me when we were broken up as her best friend. At the time we got back together, she mentioned if it was okay that she kept her male friends (all single who flirt with her) around, and I obliged because I believed her when she said that she is choosing me and not them. She never kissed any of them over this period but it was apparent that she developed an emotional attachment between perhaps three different guys, the strongest being the guy that is on her sports team. She disclosed to me on the night we got back together that the guy on her team is an attractive guy (which he is as I met him before I got back together with my girlfriend) and obviously I did not feel as though I had any place to deny her, her friendships, even if I was skeptical that their behavior towards her (flirtatious) was not likely to change. So last week me and my girlfriend were hanging out and we were talking about the relationships or friendships we formed with other people while we were split. I repeated what I said to her on the night we got back together that I went on a date with one girl and although I scheduled a second date with her, I texted this girl letting her know that it wasnt fair to her that I was still in love with my ex (now girlfriend). My girlfriend asked if I kept any female friends around to which I explained I didnt because I have no reason to while I am in a relationship with her, which led her to feel guilty that she was keeping her male friends close while she was in a relationship with me, but after long discussion about one of her close male friends who she met while hanging out with her bestfriend who is on her team, I said that I trust her to respect our relationship and even though this particular guy has been on dates with her, I had faith that she would not do anything to jeopardize our relationship. Flashforward to yesterday, my girlfriend thought she had practice for an instrument and her sports bestfriend is also in that class so she understandably asked him for a ride and its clearly been routine since they have met. I did offer to give her a ride my self, but it was on a moped and its cold here in Provo so I understood why she was more eager to get a ride in her sports bestfriends' car. She wasnt sure if he was going to come through as he was contemplating whether to go to the volleyball game or not but with 7 mins before her class started he did, and I took the cue to say a quick goodbye to my girlfriend and we both left with the expectation (we established this earlier on in the day) that we would hang out after her two hour instrument practice. So after an hour and thirty so minutes I get a text that "I made it home. Are you still okay to hang out tonight" to which I replied "of course". I got to her place and we met up and I noticed that she was wearing nice jeans that I didnt see previously and I even commented that they were nice. So we sit down together on a couch and she proceeds to tell me what just happened over the past time I thought she was at guitar practice. SHe and her sports bestfriend found out that guitar practice isnt today and was actually on Wednesday like it usually is, which she has been attending since the beginning of the semester. So they take the liberty to head back to her place and all this time they were actually at my girlfriends place because her sports bestfriend hadnt eaten at all and wanted to eat at her place. She didnt protest. So I wanted her to clarify that in the hour and thirty odd minutes that I thought she was at guitar practice (there was no update text), she was actually at her place the whole time with her sports bestfriend, and she confirmed. I couldnt quite believe what I was hearing so I proceeded to leave then I came back and we had a long discussion about how I felt really betrayed that she didnt bother to let me know her instrument practice was actually on Wednesday, and she was at home the whole time with her bestfriend who she hasnt denied she finds attractive. She was extremely apologetic and confessed that she does have feelings for her bestfriend who is on her team but she values our relationship so will act to cut off her ties with these other guys from here on out. After what happened the other day, I agreed to this and we have made up but she believes that she will have to regain my trust in this relationship. Im interested in a discussion on this and will clarify things I didnt put in this post. p.s I love her dearly
I am REALLY struggling to find anyone out there that has experienced this and want to know what you did about it. 8 months ago, it was revealed to me that my husband had a 1 month emotional affair that began to cross into the physical when they ended it. But they claim that they "fell in love" and he basically stayed for the kids. The woman he had this affair with has been one of my closest friends in the ward for THREE years and her husband has been one of my husbands closest friends. Our kids have played, our families have been friends for 3 years. I can see the back of their house out of my back windows. It has already been made clear that we will never be friends again and that our kids will never play again. I want NO contact with them at all. Both of us are working on our marriages, etc, but we both are unable to move at the moment. We planned to live in this house until we grew old. After 8 months, we are going to be ok...my husband came out of whatever dark cloud he was in and admits the whole thing was so stupid and he loves me. I am triggered EVERY SUNDAY when I see her or her family at church. The trauma of it all has been too much and I can't even focus on anything spiritual while I'm there. I can tell I'm falling apart. My husband doesn't think moving is the answer and I wanted to CHANGE WARDS, but he said he'd rather stop going to church than go through the awkwardness of telling people we are new in the ward, but don't live in their boundaries. But I feel so strongly that if I could be separated completely from them then I could start to heal easier. No one in the ward knows except the bishop and it drives me mad that I can't tell my other friends what is wrong with me and what SHE did to me!!!!!!! I want to get out of here, but I am stuck!! What would you do???? [Moderator removed link]
gr82bok posted a topic in Marriage and Relationship AdviceI am seeking advice on how to save my marriage from further deterioration. I have been married to my husband for 33 years and still love him. But he seems to have just given up on our marriage. About a 1 year ago he developed a close friendship with a younger coworker in his office and they exchanged text, pictures and many phone calls. I thought something was wrong and started investigating and found phone records of the calls and texts which led me to "snoop" on his phone and found very revealing pictures of his friend. I confronted him and he said it was all over and that he had stopped the relationship. I thought things were worked out with us and we were on a good path to a stronger marriage. About 6 months later I suddenly had a whim to check his email account and found an email that he had forwarded from work to his personal email with her telling him to leave her alone and she did not have the same feelings he did. A month ago, I went to drop something off at a friend’s and drove by a house with a car that looked just like his... I was positive it couldn’t be his in the middle of the afternoon... but did a quick search and was shocked to find it was her house (I did not know she lived there) When I confronted him about this... he said her car was in the shop and he had been taking her back and forth to work and her son got ill and he brought her home early to get him from the babysitter and they were just talking. I have seen invites from her to lunch which he claims are just business discussions. He claims he has lost all interest in any form of intimacy and other than a hello / goodnight kiss... we are not intimate at all. He claims he loves me and doesn’t want a divorce... but I feel things are never going to improve and that he must be still involved (at least in his heart if not physically) with his friend. Any advice on how to save my marriage? Is there any hope?
Ugh...how did this happen? I am a returned missionary, come from an amazing leadership family in the church, pretty much been on the straight and narrow my whole life. I married a year after my mission to the most amazing spiritual loving husband. My husband's job the last 2 years caused him to be away alot and not home until 9pm at night most nights. I really started to get lonely so I really got close to my best friend. We would get together numerous times a day. Her husband was home alot and we ended up getting to be close friends. I told my husband that I thought we were too close and we talked about it openly. It was almost weird how much we had in common and how funny we were together. We would flirt some but always had our guard up and my best friend was always there. We were not alone ever. My husband was the elders q. pres and this guy was the first counselor. We trusted ourselves too much. Me and my best friend had a couple conversations about her husband and she asked me if he had ever said anything or tried anything or if she could trust him? I struggle some with self esteem and he made me feel good about myself. I didn't think too much about him but when I was with him I felt happy, excited and motivated. I noticed I always wanted to look my best around him. Anyway their family moved away. Only 5 minutes after they drove away he started texting me that he was in love with me, wanted to be with me, wanted to make love to me etc. I felt guilty that I felt happy and flattered that he said these things to me. I told my husband right away. This man was also my husbands best friend. We all were just so close. The man told me he only thinks of me when he has sex with his wife, etc. For about 3 weeks we texted each other. I cut the texting off 3 times and he would not text me for about 3 days then text that he missed me and how hard it was for him not to text me. I loved the attention. I felt sexy again. I felt alive. but I felt terrible for my husband and how could I feel this way. I was never in love with this man but more loved the attention he gave me. I told my husband this and we talked openly about the situation.....all but one thing. There were 3 times when we "sexted". It was mostly him typing things but I also did a little bit. He sent me a few pictures he took of himself at the gym in the bathroom but had shorts on. After 3 weeks I sent him a text that said ur relationship needs to be done, he sent one back that said....you don't understand because you go home to a great husband and I go home to a cold shoulder. He accidentally sent that text to his wife, my best friend and it had my name in it so she basically knew. I have not talked to him or his wife since that day. I wrote her a letter and apologized and she wrote me back and is obviously hurt and doesn't want to talk to me ever again. Here is my issue.... I told my bishop about the situation and texting and my feelings and told my husband too but I didn't tell my husband or the bishop about the sexting. It was mostly the other man and I didn't send inappropriate pictures of myself to him but I know that is justifying it. It has been 3 months now and I am wondering if I need to go back and tell the bishop about the sexting and my husband? I have prayed about it and feel peace again in my life and feel the Spirit so much more now then before but should I tell the bishop and my husband about the sexting or just move forward? My husband never brings it up and seems like he has forgotten about it. I feel good that I don't think about the guy anymore. I really feel like the Lord took that away from me. I still daily have a hard time with my best friend...wishing we could talk and I could help her through this trial but I know now that I will always be the "other woman" in her mind now. I hope their marriage will be ok.... Should I go back and tell the bishop and my husband the sexting I left out? Thanks