Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'forgive'.
Found 3 results
I have been dating a girl for almost 6 months now and things started off amazing. After a couple of months in we began to have issues with the law of chastity (heavy petting) and we got that cleared up with our bishops and then things got better after that. Recently we have began to have some issues with touching each others butts under clothing and I touch her boobs under clothing as well when we are making out. Sometimes I'm the one that initiates and other times it's her so it goes both ways. I have been hurt and so has she but with my kind of personality how I see it is to forgive and then work towards proving that it wont happen again. She has a lot harder time forgiving me because she says that if I truly loved her that I wouldn't do it to her. She has started to work through some depression that she has had since she's been home from her mission and she says that I shouldn't put her this kind of thing since she is going through that. I haven't intentionally tried to do any of this and I haven't intentionally gone into a situation with it on my mind to do these things. What can I say/do to help her understand that I do love her and that it wont happen again? She's taking some time to think things out but I need to know how I can help her realize that I'm sincere in my apology and that I will do everything it takes to make it right.
I have been living with a huge amount of guilt for a long time. I have had issues with pornography and mb since my teens. I have had long periods of abstaining in the past because I know that it is wrong. But I often returned and couldn't explain to myself why. When I married my wife in the temple, I had unresolved sins and I couldn't bear to tell my wife-to-be because I feared rejection. Well, I went through the first year of marriage without any infidelity but, for some months, I started down the same paths that I swore I never would return down. The reason it lasted months is because I felt so badly that I had returned and this particular sin is a coping mechanism. Now, I know that a lot of people here will tell me that I am an addict. And I very well may be but I have been able to abstain for as long as over a year in the past. I am almost certain that after the bitter guilt and anguish that I felt when I repented for damaging myself and my wife that I will never return to this sin again. It has been two months since I have forsaken my sins. I have wept so many times because I have potentially ruined our lives. I am so grateful for my wife and I have grown a new and deeper appreciation towards her. I have not told her about these sins. She feels that everything in our marriage is great. I have felt constant guilt since forsaking my sins. If I had to confess to a bishop and do whatever I needed to do, I would be willing. The thing that I cannot get myself to do is to confess to my wife. I cannot bear to inflict that pain onto her and I have rehearsed confessing multiple times but cannot get myself to do it. Lately, I have just tried to put her needs first in everything that I do and I have tried to show her love every moment we are together. But I can't get myself to confess to her. It seems impossible. I have thought about telling her now, a year from now, a few years from now, or several years from now. All of the results seem to be the same. If I hide this from her for a long time, then the damage may increase. And lets say that I am an addict but that I stop for good right now. Or lets say that I had never looked at porn before and started for the first time after marriage and stopped myself a little later down the road? Would that have made any difference? It is still an assault on my wife's heart, trust, soul, and emotions. I know that unless I repent that our marriage will not last forever and that I must go to a different kingdom after this life. I grew up in the church, I know the gospel, I have just struggled with this horrible sin for a long time. Will my wife be able to forgive me? I know that that is a hard question for people to answer since you do not know my wife. She is strong in the church. She is kind to everyone. She is positive and loving. But this news would shatter everything that she holds dear. All of our life's plans could come to a screeching halt. Plus, I have no excuse or explanation as to why I did what I did. All I can say is that I made terrible, repetitive mistakes and that my only wish is to restore what I have damaged. Is there anyone that has had experience with this? Can I save my marriage? Will forgiveness and forgetting be possible for my wife? Again, assume that it will never happen again, as I feel that this is going to be the case. I feel like I am in the gall of bitterness and that things must get a whole lot worse before they can get better. My main two concerns, and the only things that I think about all the time are: I want to save my soul, and I want to save my marriage. Thank you.
This is a very tender thing for me. I've long since thought that I am a forgiving and compassionate person; that I will not judge someone unrighteously and allow those who have made mistakes to move on without my weighing them down. But... I'm bitter... and I'm having a hard time letting go. I grew up striving to do the right things. Never smoked or drank alcohol or did drugs of any kind. No relationship i had advanced beyond a romantic kiss as far as the physical intimacy went. I always have had a strong testimony and hunger for greater knowledge and faith. My wife grew up in the church but had a rebellious period. She used drugs, mostly drank alcohol, had multiple sexual relationships prior to me, has had piercings, and tattoos. Now when I met her she was on her way back. She was getting away from her troubled last relationship to a man she was engaged to, she was all but stopped drinking/partying... she just wanted to make get back on track. Without being involved too much in the repentance process, I was nevertheless a part of her journey back. She was a lot different than any girl I had dated... notwithstanding her indiscretions she was very, VERY smart. We had many things in common and after months of consecutive days I was in love with this strong, beautiful girl. We've been married for about a year now, and I love her more now than I did then; however, it has been a nearly constant struggle for me to forget the past. I'm embarrassed, and I wish it were not the case, but I find myself putting myself in a position of judging whether her attitudes and guilt are sufficient for repentance. That is NOT the role I want to be in, while at the same time, I feel a responsibility as her eternal companion to help her develop spiritually. I just want to be the best companion that I can be to her. I recognize very well that I am not perfect, while at the same time I feel like I have a lot to offer someone who fell in the pitfalls that I avoided. I DO feel at times that I can identify certain tendencies that explain and were potentially the cause of her indiscretions in the past, and it's very hard for me to prevent my mind from flooding with visions of what could result if I don't at least say something. BUT it's at this point that she feels like all her effort to become better is set at naught because of something I can't let go of. So here I am... I feel like I can do better than I am, and that our relationship would be that much better if I could just get over my own stumbling blocks. Any advice, thoughts, personal insights that may help me? Thank You!