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Found 14 results

  1. Hey guys, I'm not LDS but I've had on and off interactions with members of the Mormon Church. As a Catholic, I find the Mormon interpretation of the afterlife much more reflective of a loving and forgiving God. My understanding is that everyone gets a second chance in the spirit world after death before their final judgement. However, I know that there is still a concept of Hell (which makes sense because Scripture talks about it quite a bit), but it's reserved for Satan, his followers, and "sons of perdition." My understanding is "sons of perdition" includes former Mormons who turn their back on the Mormon Church. So, just to apply the whole Eternal Family concept in an example: John and Susy are faithful Mormons who are sealed in the Temple, and their three children are sealed to them. Child A goes on to be a faithful, temple worthy Mormon. Child B is a lukewarm Mormon who doesn't reject the Mormon Church but also doesn't follow all the teachings. Child C rejects the church and converts to another Christian denomination. They also have a family friend who is an atheist. Based on what I know about Mormon Doctrine, Child A would be exalted with her parents (she would need to marry to achieve full exaltation) at the resurrection, and before that, she would enjoy peace in the spirit world and maybe teach people in spirit prison. Child B and the atheist friend would go to spirit prison, and depending on the choices they make there, they would get to go to one of the three Kingdoms. But what about Child C, who is a Mormon apostate? Does he get a second chance in spirit prison, or does he go straight to Hell without hopes of redemption? When I asked the missionaries, they didn't directly answer my question, and I couldn't seem to find a clear answer to this on Links to additional information where answers to this question are spelled out (or just Scripture references within your answer) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for helping me understand more.
  2. How do you forgive the unrepentant? Or even the repentant? How do we love the unlovable, reach the unreachable, or seemingly do the impossible of forgiveness? These are questions we each struggle with. On some level we feel that if we forgive a person, then the judge and the jury all go home with all charges dropped. We feel that obligated to plant our feet on the witness stand and point our angry fingers—and that if we don’t, the guilty unrepentant perpetrator will just “get away with it”. But that’s not how forgiveness and repentance work at all. It is impossible for us humans to absolve sin. We cannot choose to drop the charges and let the perpetrator go free. No, only Christ can absolve sins. Whether or not a perpetrator goes free has nothing to do with whether or not we stand up and point the angry finger. Our witness statement of their crimes has already been given, because Christ knows everything about us and feels every blow wrecked upon us. Christ is the one who plants His feet at the witness stand for us, and with perfect knowledge bears testimony of the pain—the pain both you and He feels. We are not obligated to angrily do what Christ is already doing for us. Christ offers us so much. He takes the burden of the witness stand from us. He gives of the assurance the guilty will have a perfect trial, and that we don’t have to judge a person’s heart ourselves. We don’t have to: He’s got us covered. What He offers us is Healing: the taking away of our pain, mending our broken bones by replacing ours with His. Christ allows us to become stronger through His strength. But He will not force us in any way: we must choose to accept His gifts, including the Gift of Healing. That’s why Christ commands us to forgive: to let go of our angry broken bones so that we may receive His whole ones in exchange. That’s why we forgive: to become whole again through Christ’s power. We don’t forgive to decide whether or not a person has to pay a price for their actions—that’s Christ’s job. We don’t forgive because a person because of the status of their repentance—again, that’s Christ’s job to judge, not ours. We forgive because Christ asked us to accept His Wholeness for our brokenness.
  3. My fiance basically began a relationship with a woman after about three months after we got engaged and three months before we were suppose to get married. It was with a woman from work who is 10 years older than him, she is married and has five kids. She told him that she had feelings for him (she was in a horrible marriage, her husband is just horrible) and my fiance reciprocated about a month later they ended up kissing on a few different occasions. He told me that when it started he thought he was losing feelings for me and thought he wasn't in love with me anymore. A month before our wedding my fiance told me and also our stake president. We broke up, but are now trying to work it out. Before it started he had to work everyday for over a month including sundays because the other supervisor was out of town. During this time we began fighting a lot, I was getting upset at him for no reason and I was dropping him off at work like that. We both weren't preparing well for our sealing, we were hardly reading our scriptures, praying, hadn't been to the temple since before we got engaged, we barely even read the marriage prep manual that our bishop gave us. We were both just really busy with school and work and I was stressed all the time and felt like our relationship was on auto-pilot. As long as i've known my fiance he's always been a righteous priesthood holder. This is so out of character for him and especially since the other woman is sealed to her husband. My fiance and I were friends for a while before we started dating and have been together for about two years. Its been almost two months since he told me and at first he was really emotional and depressed. He was crying all the time, he was upset that he hurt me and hurt her family. He kept telling me that he never thought he would do something like that. Now, he's been doing much better and is an even better boyfriend then he was before. I really believe that he'll never do anything like this again and I know that it is kinda normal for engaged couples to get cold feet and one ends up doing something similar and they still end up getting married eventually. The hardest thing for me is not knowing how this will affect our relationship if we do get married. Infidelity is everywhere, in movies, books, magazines, music, everywhere. How do we handle uncomfortable situations like that. People always say Satan is going to work harder on you now because you are engaged and to me that meant physical intimacy which we never had a problem with. I didn't think the adversary would be working on us emotionally. I just want to know if this is possible to get through and if its possible not to let this affect me in the future. I know it was just a kiss but its still hard. He's not done with his repentance process yet and hasn't gotten his temple recommend back yet. My bishop told me to be patient and that I wouldn't be able to make a decision until he has fully repented and has a clear conscious.
  4. Guest

    Sins & depression

    So....I'm not sure how to word this...But i have been struggling with depression for a while now. It seemed to have just come out of no where last year. It has been really hard for me. I don't know the cause of it. I also struggled with an addiction about 4 years ago and finally overcame it last year. It just seems to me, that i only commit certain sins when i am having a low day. I want will all of my heart to be worthy to dwell in the celestial kingdom, but whenever i am feeling low, i don't know what happens. I just...give up. I give into temptation. It's like i KNOW that i don't WANT to do wrong, to sin against god, but because i am feeling just happens without me really realizing it. Until after i have done something wrong.I don't know what to do about this. I always feel terrible after having these types of days, but i feel that there is nothing i can do to stop it. Yes, i pray and read my scriptures, and i gain some strength, sometimes enough to fight off temptation, But i still feel hopeless some days.
  5. Often, when abusers or cheaters request forgiveness, they insinuate that if we are real Christ-followers we would "forgive and forget." I contend that we forgive--meaning we turn over our right to revenge to God. We hold no grudge, and wish no malice. However, forgetting is something that only God is in a position to do. Only He is all-powerful and all-knowing. So, only God is in a position not to be taken advantage of. God does not need the memory of our past sins to help him know our spirits. So, He is able to truly cast our sins as far as the east is from the west. The forgiveness we extend should never be forced. It should never be perceived as diminishing the hurt and the offense. And, it should never result in victims reentering toxic relationships. Forgiveness is not trust. Trust may or may not be regained. When it does come, the journey should be gradual--paced by the victim. Thoughts?
  6. I don't know where to go from here. I'm praying daily for strength and guidance. My husband has been involved in pornography our entire marriage. He hid it for several months after we married and when I discovered it I was devastated. I'm past Satan's lies that it had to do with me or that "all men do it". I just don't know that I can ever trust him or respect him again. I can't take the hurt, anger, and fear anymore. The negative emotions are so intense I don't think I can peel them away to feel love again. Just when I think I've let go and can trust I discover more. He has worked with multiple bishops, but they were of no help. He'd get at most a few months of not taking the sacrament. I feel he's just gone through the motions and pretended to quit and faked change. I understand mistakes, but this has happened over and over. Years ago, he "supposedly" quit to perform baby blessings (first his nephew, one our 1st baby). With my second baby, I discovered that he looked at porn a few days before the blessing. We've been inactive on and off. I'm no saint, but I do expect honesty and intimacy in my marriage. We were sealed in the temple while I was pregnant with my 3rd baby, and I remember feeling such a disconnect with him and lack of the spirit- I had a strong feeling he wasn't worthy. Another baby blessing and my oldest's baptism, all while hiding the truth that he was still looking at porn on a consistent basis. 13 years of catching and discovering the porn and then with my 4th baby I find more porn (second trimester having moved a few weeks before). Another discovery of porn 2 days before her baby blessing. I told him he wasn't worthy to bless her and I didn't want him to. After much thought and prayer I told him he could decide if he was going to still bless her and the night before her blessing he said he was going to. (My mother was in town) So, what I thought was a problem for him, has turned out to be a major problem that is never resolved and has not been sporadic or bingeing, but a consistent ongoing problem. (Weekly) He wants to baptize our daughter, who has waited a year. He says he's been clean 6 months. The bishop said he's good to go and can also start taking the sacrament and I feel AWFUL. This is so counterintuitive. It is what it is. I haven't seen repentance/change and it makes me sick inside to think I'm repeating the past with him. I feel much guilt over the fact that I can't seem to forgive or trust, and that I look back at ordinances he's performed with such sadness. He has fought me on my boundaries and needs, pushes me away, and truthfully I feel the "actions" he has taken to stop accessing porn I forced on him. He quit the therapy I asked him to start. He hasn't done what the original bishop and the new bishop asked him to do. I just don't understand how this has been handled correctly. This is how he has fallen back into it before. I can't let this cycle continue. I feel I might be leaving this marriage. I've tried, I've stood by him for 13 years hoping he'd change. I took my vows and covenants seriously, but I cannot disrespect myself and hurt like this anymore.
  7. I'm an Aaronic Priesthood holder and I feel very ashamed right now. Just recently I started masturbation for about...a month, but I desperately want to stop and I realize the consequences. I feel that if I really try hard enough my will power will overcome. I have already began praying about it, and a I am committed to never masturbate again. Am i required to confess to my bishop regarding this sin or is masturbation not severe enough if I can handle it myself? -If I confess will I not be allowed to pass the sacrament, home teach, partake of the sacrament, participate in youth activities, prepare the sacrament, etc? -I know that the bishop is supposed to remain confidential about my confessions, but are my parents an exception? I feel that if he told my parents (because of our unique family situation) it would be harder on me than if I resolved my problem on my own or with the help of JUST the bishop (and Heavenly Father of course). In essence, should I try my hardest to fully repent myself and seek forgiveness and never commit this sin again? Or is it required that masturbation is severe enough that I must confess with my bishop? Please help, thank you.
  8. ... And ashamed to say I've joined on behalf of myself and my needs. Although I have always had Heavenly Father in my heart, I have been inactive for years. Now that I am done with chemo, I have found the need to pray several times a day for the cancer to be gone forever. For strength both mentally and physically. And to ask for forgiveness thinking I could do this without His help. I can't. It has taken this happening to me to bring me back closer to Heavenly Father. I hope to gain from reading posts and gain strength and trust and faith. Thanks for welcoming me.
  9. Can you be forgiven twice for the same mistake? I am so ashamed of myself that I can hardly talk about this. I was born into the church but my family has been inactive my entire life. When I was only 12 I was in the worst surrounding possible for temptation. And I ultimately broke the law of chastity, I did not want to but things just happened, I was young, impressionable, and scared. I felt so guilty and empty and cried myself to sleep often. After that I made the decision to become active in the church even if my family wasn't and found rides every week. Finally I went to my bishop and fully repented Nd was forgiven of my sin and peace was restored to me. But here I am, 7 years later. I had become inactive for the past 9 months. I stayed strong against any temptations for a very long time, but things slowly started creeping in little at a time, and before I know it I am rationalizing things that I would have normally said no to. Long story short... I broke the law of chastity again. I wasn't thinking! I didn't even want to! I made him stop and was/still am disgusted and ashamed and mad at myself beyond words. I am so upset and distraught. I can't believe I have done something so terrible as to repeat a horrible sin. I have every desire to do right, I am reading scriptures again, and going back to church. But I am afraid to confess my sins a second time! Is it possible to be forgiven again for this same sin? Is it too late for me? Am I ever going to be able to marry in the temple? Help!
  10. My husband and I recently had a conversation on infidelity as my brother recently caught his wife cheating. Something like this being so close to home, I went crazy. I had never worried about my husband being loyal to me, but like I said...crazy. So I told him and then I proceeded to check his email and facebook messages. Did I find anything incriminating from our marriage? No. However, I did stumble across a message from before we met that was inappropriate to say the least. The contents were sexual exchanges and it was apparent that inappropriate pictures had also been exchanged via text message. Now, my husband told me before we got engaged that there were things in his past that he wasn't proud of. He told me that he had fooled around with a girl (different one from this message) and that when he was younger he had a problem with pornography. All of these things I knew, and I was perfectly fine not knowing every gritty detail of his exchanges with whomever from his past. I know that he is a worthy priesthood holder now and he was when we got engaged. I know that his past transgressions have nothing to do with me, and they don't effect what I think of him. I still think he is a good and wonderful man. I am proud of him and couldn't dream of being with anyone else. I also know that he loves me more than anyone. But I can't help but to be upset. This message was nothing like I'd ever heard him say before. I know a huge part of it is because he respects me and loves me, and there was no respect or love really shown for himself or this girl in their exchanges, but some of the contents I was SHOCKED to see. I can't picture him writing or saying some of the things that were there...they were totally vulgar and crude and graphic. Extremely inappropriate in both the content and word choice. My husband had (I assume several exchanges with this girl....I didn't scroll back to see how long they had been talking) after this conversation, decided that he wouldn't/couldn't talk to her anymore and told her so in the message, saying that he knew his weaknesses and temptations and that he couldn't talk to her anymore. That part made me extremely proud to read, as that is not the easiest thing to do. I know better than anyone how ashamed my husband is of the things like this in his past. I know that he truly repented and it pains him to know that he did those things, and that knowing them causes me even the slightest amount of pain. Like I said, I know who he is today and that he is a good and caring man. I feel really guilty for saying this, but reading that message really made me upset. I know it had nothing to do with me and that it was before we met. I don't feel guilty going through his stuff--in fact, he told me to...but this message had been deleted a long time ago, but facebook put it in "Archives" where I found it. Anyways, I know he feels ashamed of it and repented, and I don't want to keep bringing it up, but it is really upsetting me. I can't un-read the things that I have read and it really burns me up inside. I try not to think about it but the things I read will not leave my mind, and it makes me so angry/sad/upset....not with him at all though. That's the thing. I'm not mad at him or anything. It's ancient history. What I am feeling is almost more jealousy--that someone else has seen my husband or had anything to do with him in a sexual way. I'm not jealous of the conversation--like I said, he loves me so he would never say anything like that in front of me (let alone to me!). But it burns me up, I guess, that he ever wanted someone else in that way. I don't know if I am explaining it very well, but I don't know how else to say it. I just feel really upset and jealous. I'm trying to downplay how upset with him because I don't want him to feel like it's his fault or he did something wrong. He repented a long time ago, and I want him to be able to forget and move on. I just want advice/help doing the same thing myself. How can I move past this and try to forget what I read? I need help.
  11. I am having a hard time moving forward and forgiving my husband. He has been secretively been viewing porn and lusting after women in his day to day life for the last 10 years and I found out a couple of months ago. I believe that he is sincerely sorry and is moving away from this behavior and I know I need to forgive him but I am so stubborn and hurt I am can't get myself to do it. The negative memories from the past when I thought that this was going on and he denied it are all coming back. I don't know how to just forgive and forget all the hurt and lies that I have experienced. Has anyone been in this situation or have any advice for me? thanks
  12. I am engaged to be married at the end of the summer. I have told my future spouse everything about my past and she still thinks I am the most wonderful person. I recently had a slip up and masturbated in the middle of the night. I quickly got a hold of my bishop and told him everything that happened. He said to move on and use it as a learning experience and to just try a few things to be sure it doesn't happen again since it is something that is not common for me. Well I am having a hard time feeling good. I am torn on whether I should tell my fiancé what happened. I know that she will love me still, but I am not sure if it is necessary to let her know. She can tell that something is wrong, but she said that she doesn't need to know, she just wants me happy. I am really good at being extremely hard on myself. I look at what happen and am full of disgust and disappointment. I even look on it and feel like I am going to throw up. I am just so disappointed that this has happened since I am an engaged man. Any advice would be great.
  13. A friend of mine is going through a very difficult time. She has had to face many trials, and she is finding it to be very difficult. She is trying to find strength to go on. She has been struggling so hard to be a good latter day saint, to keep the commandments. As we know, being a Latter-day Saint does not exempt us from the trials of life, and there is a powerful temptation to curse God when we go through these sore trials. I refuse to take the paths of many who speak with prideful derision, I think the answer lies in gently helping her to find forgiveness in her heart and see the eternal perspective. Knowledge is light; understanding is what she needs at this time. She needs a little help to be able to find the divine attitude of forgiveness. I am a firm believer in Joseph Smith's quote “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves." It is a given, that i have asked her to consult with her spiritual leaders about this matter, however it would also be nice if there were also additional teachings, books, talks from general conference, etc., speeches, and any additional input others of you have of lessons you've learned in your own life, about not turning against God in anger in your own lives, but using trial as a catalyst for good. I'm interested in this not only for her, but for me, and for anyone else who may benefit from reading this thread. For myself I've found a scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants very useful. Its taught me that an understanding is needed of the eternal nature of our existence, and the knowledge that regardless of what occurs to us in this life, it is to our benefit. Doctrine and Covenants 122 Thank you.