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Husband and I are not particularly interesting regarding disciplining our kids. The 4-year-old is on the path of learning the rules and norms of society, the 20-month-old gets told "no-no!" from time to time. While we're not opposed to spanking, most of our discipline revolves around very specific modeling and consequences. My mother hates it. We can't discipline our kids in front of her without getting an earful later about how mean we are to her precious granddaughter. This is not a frequent thing as 4-year-old is a pretty good kid, but she is can be a stinker. We're just trying to get her going right. She doesn't follow instructions in boldness, she gets a consequence such as being removed from said activity for a short time. It all seems to be what the other parents are doing, what the occasional parenting article says, what the old hippy daycare lady preached and what the more recent Mexican-Catholic retired teacher daycare lady supports (though both of those ladies are anti-spanking, which is fine.) But should this ever happen in front of my mother, if not a direct speech, I get emails and texts about how mean we are, how she is only a little girl, how we need to figure out something else because she doesn't like seeing her granddaughter sad. This has only happened a handful of times over the course of my daughter's lifespan, but my mother's complaints really get to me to the point I dread my daughter acting up in front of my mother to the point I would have to drag her aside and hear how I'm a bad mom. See, my mother is very bold and says what's on her mind. But what also gets to me is growing up, my mom often complained about the nasty undisciplined brats around whose parents were all too sweet to them and never laid down the law. Then she becomes a grandmother and doesn't want any discipline near them. Specifically, we returned from a family trip where we went to the lake. Daughter went out in the lake past where Husband and I felt was safe. When she did not listen when we told her to return, she had to sit on the beach for a few minutes whilst we explained water safety and listening to her parents. My mom had blew up. Doesn't matter Husband had a sibling drown years ago, we have no right to make Daughter leave the water. I have a couple of questions: Are we wrong in our discipline approach? Where do we draw the line with my mother while still maintaining familial goodwill?