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Im just not sure where to start. So i use to be very strict member. I never drank, did drugs, my family and i didn't watch rated R movies went to church every sunday. I was good, and tried to have my family be good too. And it felt good. But i started having problems in my marriage, the out come was finding out my husband was cheating on me, doing drugs, and drinking. All that i had suspected but he lied to my face about till he decided to come clean. He was last in the church for a while but i encouraged him always to go. After all this my husband and i separated for a month total. Then got back together. It might sound dumb but its not really a situation you can judge unless you're in that situation. Anyway my husband when completely inactive, kept doing pot (not anymore even tho he wants to) drinking and stopped wearing his garments. I was good and tried to keep going to church. But i have two kids. 1 not old enough for nursery and i was so depressed despret for answers and comfort. answers and comfort i didn't receive roaming the halls or church for 3 hours. i felt unwelcome, i prayed desperately for someone to notice me, to be inspired and reach out....but no one did. so i slowly fell away from activity, stopped saying my prayers and going to church. And i started drinking. Now as it stands i still wear my garments, and my husband and i are working things out, we started saying family prayers again. and are buying a new house and plan on returning to church. The thing is I have never stopped believing the church i doubt it for a second. So i did things that were wrong knowing that they were wrong. And the drinking i seem to be having a hard time giving up. I want to feel the way it did before... good, loved. a worthy member of the church. I don't feel that way and I'm scared i never will again. I don't know what to do be be that person, to have my kids love the gosspile the way i know they should. I'm just scared and don't know what to do......
Grey_Wolf_Leader posted a topic in General DiscussionOver the past few years I have been wandering the internet gobbling up information as I go like Pac-Man, and a few months ago I hit upon the search term "Mormon Sexuality" in Google's recommended searches list. I hit enter and up came a looooonnnngg list of various sites. A select few were positive, like ones about feminine sexuality via popular LDS therapists, doctors, counselors, and authors like Jennifer Finlayson-Fife or Laura M. Brotherson. The vast majority however were either supposed "Mormon Hidden History" exposure sites with pages on our sexual beliefs [all portraying them in the most negative light possible], ex-Mormon rant sites, and a few secular journalistic pieces with obviously dismissive and irreverently tones on Mormon sexual beliefs. The words which appeared in these results were surprisingly consistent. Terms like, "repression", "self-hate", "shame", "social conditioning", et cetera, et cetera kept popping up. There were even a couple of sites with members who claimed to be LDS, but whose writings clearly left nothing to imagination that they did not practice the Law of Chastity. As a deeply intellectual person, I have long studied my religion and have tried to build a complete, encompassing, and yet simplified personal concept map which lays out my beliefs and how they interrelate, especially in contrast to the modern secular world. And I see little but open hostility in the Western World towards the very idea that you shouldn't have sex whenever you want, without regard to whether you are married, or even for whomever your partner is. What are your thoughts? Why do you think people dislike Chastity so much? (Aside from the obvious "gets in the way of fun" part I mean).