Search the Community

Recent events have caused a re-occurring thought process for me. It began long ago when the Columbine school massacre happened, I was in Utah and in the midst of tension my elementary aged self made some jokes that were taken out of context (frankly, they were inappropriate) and led to my being suspended and missing my 'graduation' from Rock Canyon Elementary school to Centennial Middle School. Since then, though the events never happened to me personally, I feel an awkward connection and a compulsion to evaluate and understand why people do these things; things which I feel I am incapable of doing (I dread even a self-defense act). My most peculiar thought involved Nephi and his task to take the life of Laban. I have three questions, only the first two have to do with the foregoing Book Of Mormon testaments: 1) Is it plausible that the effects of sleepless nights, vomiting, nightmares etcetera, plagued the teenage youth in his obedience to the Lord? Is this the nature of the beast / was this to be expected as his personal trial? 2) Of all the wars and battles in the Book Of Mormon, what can we find that talks of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? I know that there is sorrow and fierceness and sometimes even 'righteous fury;' but what about after the dust settles? Even though the fight may be just (ordained of God), is there a personal toll to be paid? 3) This last question is the hardest to put into words; such will be the answer. A witness to the Columbine shooting stated he heard (towards the end of their murdering) one turn to the other and say "I think I am about finished, this is boring" (The other was not in the same state of mind because the reply was 'let's try knifing them'). The shooter in Norway AND the most recent event in Colorado shows two killers who are armed to the teeth (the Colorado killer was armored and capable of putting up a fight) - yet they stood down. They were finished, their "blood lust" (whatever that is...) sated. My question for number three (I know I have not stated it yet) involves the conscience - or the light of Christ. Is there an afterthought of remorse? Why didn't they finish their task when they were so able? Is it their soul struggling from behind the veil - recoiling in disgust that their test on this plane has effectively come to an end? I would think no because that would presume that God's plan is imperfect - that the veil could be penetrated; nonetheless, is there a "light of Christ" that never truly goes away, only gets diminished (i.e. to 'harden one's heart'). Will these individuals have PTSD because of their actions? How come some warriors in the military have PTSD and others do not? It seems that criminals don't have PTSD and that warriors fighting the good fight do. Is there a correlation? ------------------------ I know this is a mouthful and yes my 'giant wall of text' is an eyesore, but I really want some thoughtful insight; otherwise I think I will turn to unhealthy sources to indulge in my analysis. I get heartbroken looking up combat/police shooting videos online - but I really am morbidly fascinated in this and I want to know. So please, your thoughtful insights? Also, any police/veterans who have or (through fog of war) think* they have taken another human life... please if you can... share your intimate experiences.