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Found 1 result

  1. bonanzafan

    please help

    i am a college student attending the university in my hometown. my family is very active in the church, but has proved to be physically and emotionally abusive consistently. the physical abuse was through the end of my teenage years; by my dad. he never apologized and is now in the bishopric of a ysa ward. my mother is an enabler, afraid to confront and represses all conflicts. i am thinking of transferring to another school for the sole purpose of getting away from them. i only have feelings of resent and neglect. i can go months without hearing from anyone in my 8-member family. i used to call regularly on a monthly basis, but was advised by a therapist to hold off on that. the way i feel right now--hurt and handicapped at progressing--i just want to not see them at all because i am so starved for affection from them that i will ruin my life to revolve around them...to "earn" their love. i have pondered and prayed over this for about five years now. it seems like i am still in the fire, per se, and can't heal enough to have pure compassion/forgiveness for them. since my dad is close friends with the bishop, all the advice i get feels skewed. no one really knows the bull that he is to his wife and children behind closed doors. has anyone experienced this? what did you do? how have things worked out?