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My story- I grew up in the church and never thought myself to do anything sexual before marriage. About three years Before getting married, something happened to me sexually from someone I thought I could trust. Anywho after this had happened I felt ashamed and felt it was my fault. My counslours Warned me that after bad sexual experiences, in my case ( forced) that I could potentially be sexually active in hope to change my “mental experience”. I started to feel comfortable again with men and myself, and soon I had a boyfriend. I found myself stuck in a very bad situation. He was a non member and didn’t understand why sex before marriage was a big deal. After months together, we were involved in a sexual relationship. Again I felt awful! And knew I had done something terrible, and couldn’t take it back. I went through the repentance process and eventually forgave myself for the sins I had committed. Now this story my husband does know about. My second story happened shortly after I broke up with the boyfriend in the first story. I had a new boyfriend and promised myself I wouldn’t ever make a sexual mistake again. I did. And I felt awful that it happened again. I went through the repentance process and eventually forgave myself for the second time. When my husband and I were dating, I told him everything I had done, except for this second boyfriend. He wasn’t very pleased, but he was grateful I had told him. This did haunt him for awhile, and we had a lot of problems come up because he kept asking me about it. To this day he still doesn’t know about this second boyfriend I made a sexual sin with. I repented and told my bishop everything in the process, but I still feel awful that my husband doesn’t know this. Is it wrong that I didn’t tell him? I guess you can say, I haven’t fully forgiven myself. It’s one thing to make 1 mistake, but 2 of the same mistake? That’s just pathetic. I hope you have some advice for me. Thank you for reading. Ray
So....I'm not sure how to word this...But i have been struggling with depression for a while now. It seemed to have just come out of no where last year. It has been really hard for me. I don't know the cause of it. I also struggled with an addiction about 4 years ago and finally overcame it last year. It just seems to me, that i only commit certain sins when i am having a low day. I want will all of my heart to be worthy to dwell in the celestial kingdom, but whenever i am feeling low, i don't know what happens. I just...give up. I give into temptation. It's like i KNOW that i don't WANT to do wrong, to sin against god, but because i am feeling low...it just happens without me really realizing it. Until after i have done something wrong.I don't know what to do about this. I always feel terrible after having these types of days, but i feel that there is nothing i can do to stop it. Yes, i pray and read my scriptures, and i gain some strength, sometimes enough to fight off temptation, But i still feel hopeless some days.
When someone confesses sins to the bishop, such as violation of the law of chastity and word of wisdom, the bishop of course provides direction and council through the repentance process. Say someone repents and has been fully forgiven of the Lord. Does the church keep on record the sins he had previously committed for future church leaders to understand where they have been before? Especially for serious sins that could cause excommunication, wouldn't the church want to keep that on record even if they have been forgiven? Because if it happend again, the new Priesthood leader should probably know that it wasn't the first time. Am I right? So what I'm trying to ask is, does the church keep records of our previous sins? Who has access to that information? I'd rather have answers from bishops, former bishops, etc. Or people who actually know what they're talking about, not just opinions. Thanks :)