Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'transgression'.
Found 3 results
I have been disfellowshipped for over 2 years now, wow I hadn't even realized that until today.... I have never lost faith in the church, and I continue to live righteously in nearly all aspects of my life, with the exception of one: I have committed the transgression that initially caused my disfellowship repeatedly since my initial disciplinary council. I have felt great shame and disappointment in myself about this, and I would stop if I felt that such an action wouldn't drastically disrupt my life as it exists currently. I will add that my transgression is not illegal nor socially unacceptable. I need badly to be attending church, I know that nothing will change if I do not start attending church again. I have moved and am no longer in the same ward I was in when I had my disciplinary council. I want to begin attending church, but I am not ready to discuss anything with the bishopric of my new ward (I haven't met them since I've never been, so it's not a matter of being uncomfortable, I'm simply not ready to go back to the issue). I have avoided returning to church because I know that since I'm continuing to commit such a grevious transgression, I don't feel worthy of being there. I am afraid that if I return, I'll be forced to meet with the bishopric, I'll be forced to undergo another disciplinary council, which would result in excommunication. This terrifies me, and has been the motivation behind my not having felt the spirit of the Lord in His house in over a year. I want so desperately to resume attending meetings, and it's more important now than ever because I'm planning to marry the man I'm dating. He is not a member of the church however, and has had no exposure to it to date. I need to be coming to church, so that he can come and feel the spirit and decide if he wants to join the church. But I'm so scared to go myself that I can't really ask him to go either. I want to know if I can attend meetings without having to speak to the bishopric about my transgression right now. I have no intention of letting it continue for forever, because I want to feel the blessings of being a member in good standing of the Church again, more than anything. I just am not ready to face it yet, but I know that avoiding going to Church will never bring me closer to facing my problem. Can I go and just attend the meetings, or will I have to talk to someone about my membership status?
I'm not sure how to word this due to the fact that anyone can view this forum. I want to try to keep the topic G rated. Many of you know my situation that drove me away from the church. In 2007 I repented and made a full return to the church. I was rebaptized in July 2008. I plan to get my endowments this Summer. There are major issues such as same gender attraction & sexual addiction I deal with. For 19 months, I have had good progress in obstaining from the temptations. Well until, tonight. For the past few weeks my physical feelings have been very itense, especially while dreaming. The dreams are disturbing & I've discussed them with my Bishop. He really did not give much advice on that issue. Getting back to the issue I "took care of the strong urge". I was alone but used the internet in my action. In 19 months this was the first time I willingly did such a thing. after the act, i physically feel grounded again, but spiritually I'm confused. I do not want to get back into the old patterns. I do commend myself going 19 months. I don't see those 19 months as being wiped out and having to start over again. My addiction will be a life long issue. This was my first stumble since I took hold of the issue 19 months ago. How do I repent? If you get what I'm talking about, this issue could have gone much further wich would result in a more serious transgression. Married couples have each other. I'm unable to be married or have a partner. All I can do is bottle up my "feelings , urges" in order to remain worthy. In a "G" rated way of talking. What are some ways to help with the issue when it comes up again. It may be another 19 months if it happens again. I DO KNOW THROUGH THE ATONEMENT I'M FORGIVEN PROVIDED I TRULY REPENT. I do hold the priesthood and help with the sacrament. I want to continue to help serve others. Thanks for letting me write about this. I also apologize for those who may be offended with the subject matter.