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Showing results for tags 'trust issues'.
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I have a really hard time turning my life over to The Lord. I want to have trust and faith, but I won't allow myself to trust that God will work it out. I joined the church 13 years ago and have always struggled with parts of my testimony. Sometimes I think I'm so tough I can do it all by myself. Sometimes I feel as a member of the church, I'm told how to act, feel, how to dress, what to drink, what kind of undergarments to wear, what to watch and listen too, what I'm allowed to do on Sundays, and etc. Don't get me wrong, I have a long list of things I love about the church. My thoughts are all over the place. Did I lose everyone?? ..or maybe you fell asleep?? Anyone have any thoughts for me? I really need Heavenly Fathers help to carry this weight on my shoulders or better yet, I would love hand it over. ?
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I have just returned to the church after much time away living a inappropriate life mainly with the word of wisdom, and some chastity. I have returned to living the church standards and in the repentance process. During my time away I met the girl of my dreams she is what helped me return to the church. Sad to say we did break the law of chastity( not sex but touching). We are both planning on going on missions in 8 months or so, but now she wants us to just be friends and maybe start over dating when we return from our missions. This is the girl of my dreams and I truly love her, I dont know how else to say it besides that. She is upset about the things we did and suffers from extreme guilt, and questions if I truly love her, or if our relationship was built on the actions we did. I guess what I'm asking is what do I do I love this girl with all my heart and I hope to take her hand in marriage at the right time. I have been working my very hardest to develop self control so when we do spend time together it can be appropriate. What do I do to show her I love her for her, and with the starting over how do I start over. I cant just stop loving her she saved my life without her I would still be in a very dangerous world of drugs. Please help I can't afford to loose this amazing women! ps its a long distance relationship.
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Here's my background: Married at 19 in the temple to my exhusband. That night he brought pornography into the relationship, and demanded sex constantly. Hide his pornography problem on and off for four years. Decided he didn't believe in God, and stopped going to church...abused my verbally and sexually. I decided to leave him at 23 and divorced him over a year and a half ago. Now, to put it mildly, I am pretty traumatized about the whole marriage experience and have severe trust issues with men. I have been dating a wonderful, supportive man in the church for about nine months. We have talked about marriage (he is divorced as well), but I can't help but think that all guys' are addicted porn and will cheat on me. I am really trying to trust him, and want to be married to him! I just don't know how I can stop making myself think he will treat me bad as well once the ring is on the finger! Always being hypersensitive about it being and issue and checking for signs that aren't even there. Help! (
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