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Brothers and Sisters, I have written on this site before and have deeply appreciated and also enjoyed the responses from my posts. Since then I have spent much time on this site https://talkaboutmarriage.com/forumindex.php perhaps to my own peril, but the constant stories of infidelity, which are obviously not healthy to continuously read upon, are definitely making me paranoid that my future partner (whoever that may be) will default to mortal "imperfection" and even up develop an emotional/physical affair with someone else. I think it is developing as a huge paranoia of mine even though I have personally not been cheated on. Ive noticed many situations where people have been blindsided by their spouses betrayal and abuse, and it truly appears like the worst type of pain in the world. Its actually something one of my professors briefly discussed in one of my religion classes and like he said, the infidelity of ones' spouse can inflict pain upon ones soul. It is unlikely that I will remain in isolation and avoid women (LDS) for the rest of my life, so if any of you wise brothers and sisters have advice on what has made your relationships successful and has nullified the fear of spousal betrayal, would you mind sharing it? Thanks P.S I recently read this story https://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/370602-wife-choosing-other-man.html and in many ways, it reminded me of a relationship I was in not too long ago where I had a strong desire to marry this person. These stories do make me feel slightly unsure that if we had taken the direction of marriage, that I also could potentially face the same result.
How do i get the desire to want children
Chachi posted a topic in General DiscussionI am 20 years old and married. My sister has a baby and her and her fiance live with my parents, as do me and my husband because we are going through a move. My husband wants kids so badly and he is so good with them but I have absolutely no desire. No matter how cute or sweet a baby or kid is, I still can only get myself to be around them for a short time. Everyone is pressuring me saying I have to have kids and I feel absolutely guilty that I want nothing to do with them. I am repulsed by them and I honestly think I would be a bad mom. I think most kids are spoiled little brats and when I see my sister let my 1 year old niece get away with everything, it angers me even more. I want to want kids for my husband but I have absolutely no desire and I don't know what to do. I have never had the urge to have kids and I have never liked babysitting since I was of age to and I avoided babies like the plague. I don't know what to do, I don't think I will ever change my mind...
Best day of my life!I am so overcome with joy today, my wife and I were finally married after being together for seven years, she isn't LDS yet but will be getting baptized in a few weeks from now. I have been ex-communicated for over 10 years and had a lot of challenges to overcome. My wife and I have been going to church together for seven years and have a strong testimony of the gospel, there have been things in our lives that we had to overcome as a couple and individually that prevented us from getting married sooner but I believe everything happened in God's timing and now that we are married and can progress in the gospel and as a couple striving to be sealed in the temple together, our lives are just being blessed tremendously. Today, I found out that I won't have to wait a year before being re-baptized which means that my wife and I can be sealed in the temple a year sooner than we both had thought. I can probably be baptized the same day as my wife now and what's even better than that is that my sister in law and her two kids just told us they are all getting baptized in the church on August 29th! They had been coming to church with us for a year several years ago and had Anti-Mormon literature presented to them and stopped going after that. It was the most disappointing thing as her kids loved going to church with us. I feared that they would never regain that desire to come back but again, the lord was working his plan in their lives and now they are getting baptized. Growing up mormon I always wondered how my dad always had the desire to live righteously. I had never had that burning desire to be so righteous but now that i'm married and can finally progress in the gospel I have the overwhelming love for the Gospel and realize how much I have missed being in good standing with the church and living my life according to the commandments. I honestly can't stop crying as I am so grateful that all these things are finally happening and I know how much joy the gospel gives us. Just had to share all this with someone! God is so great!
Wife wants divorce, having affiar.
bneders posted a topic in Marriage and Relationship AdviceThis is my first time posting on a forum. Please excuse my illiteracy and grammar. I need advice. I have been married 7 years. My marriage has never been great. We fight all the time and have been very selfish. However i have always loved my wife. I believe she has finally had enough. She told me 3 months ago she was done. Sometimes i feel she has every right to be. I have spent the last three months trying to fix everything about me that she was not happy about. I have apologized about the mean things i have done. She constantly tells me that there is no point in talking about it. About a month into her decision i found inappropriate texts to a man that she is working with. I was so distraught that i immediately forgave her. She promised that was all there was and tried to convince me it was not what i saw. Her apology was that she didn't think it was wrong because she told me we where done. for the next to months she slowly manipulated me to the point that i didn't even believe what i had seen. This last conference Sunday i stole her phone. I found that the relationship was still going on. It rocked my world. She tells me again that she is ending it but they are still friends on facebook. She says I shouldn't have to know the details i should just trust her. She tells me I am being controling for telling her that i have to have full knowledge to be able to completely move on. She wont work on the issue and anytime we talk all she wants to do is remind me about how bad of a husband i was. We have a son and im terrified for him. I was raised by my grandperents because my parents split and neither wanted or could afford us. I have made up my mind that i wont be the one to end the marriage. This is a covenant marriage and that goes against what i believe. I don't know what to do. I am a mess. She expects me to be nice and talk to her. When she wants but it will never be about our feelings and she will never let me know hers. She is a closed book and very unforgiving. Ive been going to a counselor. This Saturday will be my 6th visit. I just need some outside perspective.
I think my wife is depressed.
Mr_Monkey posted a topic in Marriage and Relationship AdviceThis is a long story... I appologize, but I feel that it adds to my question. I've been married for almost 8 months now. But here is my story. Me and my wife dated a little bit before my mission. We never got very serious, but I really liked her and all that. I went on my mission, we didnt really keep in touch, just a couple letters back and forth. Anyways, I came home and she had been dating a kid and was considering marrying him. About the time I got home she decided he was wrong for her and broke up with him and considered going on a mission. During this same time we started dating again, and I knew she was still considering going on a mission. We started getting more serious and started talking about marriage. By this time she was very confused about what to do, she told me she wanted both, and she just needed me to make a decision for her. I just didnt think that was fair and we prayed about it and eventually came to the decision to get married. Our engagement was not like your normal engagement. We had both known for so long that we were going to get married, and her family encouraged us to get married as soon as possible. We planned most of our wedding before we were actually engaged. We had picked out a ring together, and I had ordered it and was planning a proposal. Anyways... I had a rocky start to all of this. I consider myself a very caring person and have always been very conscious to others' feelings and needs. Anyways, she ended up getting mad that I was taking too long to propose and got mad and sad about it. So instead of proposing the way I had planned, I went to her work and surprised her and proposed then and there. It was not what I had planned, but I felt that she just wanted to be engaged more than she wanted a nice proposal. But, I know to this day that she would have wanted a different proposal. Also, on our wedding day I was late. I drive a very old car, and my gas meter is very unpredictable... and ran out of gas on my way to the temple. I was very late, and I understand why she would be frustrated. Anyways... the reason I tell you all this information, I often feel that her expectations are too high, and lately we have had a lot of situations where reality does not meet up to her expectations (my proposal, her endowments, garments, wedding day, married life, etc). And I am starting to wonder if she has depression. She always feels self conscious, ugly, she feels like she doesnt get along with others anymore, and she has a hard time enjoying anything including anything intimate. She loves me, I know that, but sometimes she wishes she had just gone on a mission and married me after. She just feels like we got married very young. Anyways, I just don't know what to do. I try to make her happy, and try to make her feel special or tell her she looks good. But it's just not enough. I'm desperate here... any advice is welcome. Thanks for reading.
Housewife Or Working Woman?
Melissa569 posted a topic in General DiscussionJust to recap again, I was inactive from ages 12 to 28. And I’ve noticed that most (ok, at least 75%) of the women in my ward are homemakers. So the below questions are for both the men and the women: What are the expectations of LDS women as far as working a job goes? Not that being a homemaker isn’t work, especially when you have 2 or more kids. The old “sitting around eating bon bons all day” joke is indeed just that-- a joke! Lol. I’m basically just asking, as far as both LDS couples are concerned, and the church itself-- are women expected/encouraged to work? Or be a homemaker? If you are a husband, or a single man, what do you (or would you) expect of your wife in this? If you’re a wife, what do you feel your husband expects of you, and what would you prefer to do? For either side, does it depend weather or not you have kids? Just trying to get a more recent view on this subject.