Church is not a social club - what does that mean to you?

[ruthiechan]

Okay, basically the entirety of my post is in my title. I have heard many times, and have even said it myself, that church is not a social club.

What are your thoughts and feelings on what that really means?

[rameumptom]

While sociality and developing friendships is a part of the experience, Church's focus is not as a social club. The Church's mission/goal is to bring people to Christ and have them exalted through faith, righteous works, and ordinances that teach us the mysteries of godliness (D&C 84).

I attend Sacrament meeting for the Sacramental bread and water. I can always see friends and others in other places and in other contexts.

It is in the same context of a funeral. While it is a place for family and friends to congregate, the focus must be on the funeral and deceased for the most part. The event would lose all meaning if people came in swim trunks and dived into the pool, replacing funeral potatoes with party favors, etc.

Church is where we should seek out spiritual things, and to develop our relationship with God, first and foremost. For the socializers, they are replacing an eternal relationship with God for a temporary relationship with other mortals.

[Misshalfway]

I think it means that everyone is welcome no matter where you are on the road to Christ. It isn't just for the rich or the perfect or the beautiful. It is for each and every child of father in heaven. We wear our Sunday best even if that means a clean t-shirt and jeans. Meeting in a new and fancy building isn't as important as the meeting itself and the ordinances of healing and renewal that take place there. It is a place where the poorest amongst us can lead and the least educated can make a difference.

At least, that is the idea. We as humans and as mirrors of BofM stories don't always meet this vision.

[MrNirom]

I think it has everything to do with attitude and intention. (Using the "You might be a redneck" lines)

If you go to Church on Sunday for the purpose trading recipes.. you might be using the Church as a social club.

If you go to Church on Sunday for the purpose showing off your new clothes... you might be using the Church as a social club.

If you go to Church on Sunday for the bread and water only... you might be using the Church as a social club.

If you go to Church on Sunday for the purpose of finding out who said what about whom... you might be using the Church as a social club.

If you go to Church on Sunday to get rid of your kids for awhile... you might be using the Chruch as a social club.

If you go to Church on Sunday for the purpose of scheduling a date for next week... you might be using the Church as a social club.

If you go to Church on Sunday for any other purpose than worshipping the Lord.. you are using the Church as a social club.

:-)

[Moksha]

If you go to Church on Sunday for the bread and water only... you might be using the Church as a social club.

That would be an effective diet in you just stuck to that alone!

[Hemidakota]

I do agree with the few remarks but our socializing [Elder Quorum parties, RS dinner, and so forth] is a after effect but not the church's main goal as Ram stated. I found, many of these social events are missionary driven or less-active support line in the wards.

[WANDERER]

Is it an 'I' focus or an 'us' focus...obviously there is a point to having a church that you cannot get from being in the church of one member. And if you go to church and it's all about your personal individual salvation then perhaps you are missing the point, as you would be if it's only about your own social aspirations. So why do you go to church again...and why are all those other people there LOL?

In a workplace, you're there for a purpose...but the recipe trading and the chats and things..are the oil in workplace relationships. In the same way the recipe trading and chit chat can make for better spiritual relationships and support between members. There is a point to superficial social things. Perhaps the jello connection frustrates some people as superficial. They don't get it...and they don't get the spiritual level of church friendships either, because it never occurred to them that Church is not a once a week spiritual inundation. Life will crossover at church and church will crossover to life...if that's not happening you're an 'inactive' of another sort.

[mightynancy]

If you go to Church on Sunday for the purpose showing off your new clothes...

What if I'm worshipping AND showing off my new clothes? Is that okay?

[beefche]

Although Church is not a social club, there is a level of sociality involved. If you've never had the experience of sitting through 3 hours of church and having no one talk to you after attempting conversations, then count yourself lucky.

Church is a vehicle for us to make/renew covenants and worship our God. However, I constantly remind people that we are a social group as well, as outlined in Moroni 6:4-6.

4 And after they had been received unto baptism, and were wrought upon and acleansed by the power of the Holy Ghost, they were numbered among the people of the bchurch of Christ; and their cnames were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way, to keep them continually dwatchful unto prayer, erelying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and the finisher of their faith.

5 And the achurch did meet together boft, to cfast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.

6 And they did ameet together oft to partake of bread and wine, in bremembrance of the Lord Jesus.

So, although we don't go to church ONLY for the social life, it is a very important part of our church experience.

[MrNirom]

What if I'm worshipping AND showing off my new clothes? Is that okay?

Is that like killing two birds with one stone? I guess it depends on if your intention was to kill two birds... or just one... but got the 2nd one as a bonus. :)

[MrNirom]

So, although we don't go to church ONLY for the social life, it is a very important part of our church experience.

I think that this is the main point right here. You have to a keep in mind the main reason we go. It is a commandment. If that is not your reason for going.. then you are going for the wrong reason. The social aspect is the blessing that the commandment is predicated on.

[Misshalfway]

Social life. Isn't that different than a social "club"?

[Truegrits]

I can understand being reverent; keeping our voices low; not blocking the aisles or the hallways, or the doorways. But I also think that connecting with people is important. That those few minutes you spend hugging...talking to someone...asking about their week/the family/work...might just be the thing they needed. So, when someone tells me (and it has happened) that Church is not the place for socializing, my thought is ...what better place is there?

Fellowship...loving and caring for one another, is not passive. It requires actively making an effort...IMO.

[MrNirom]

Social life. Isn't that different than a social "club"?

I suppose one can have a social life without attending a social club. But if you attend a social club, it is determined that you are exercising your social life. :)

[Tough Grits]

I go to Church to partake of the sacrament and to learn about the gospel and be reminded of the doctrines and principles that will help me to obey all that the Lord asks.

However, it would be impossible, for me, to follow the law of charity and love and bearing one another's burdens without smiling at others, shaking hands, and giving the occasional hug.

I am not lukewarm in my love for others. If my love offends another, then they are missing the Spirit. However, my love for others also keeps me from doing something that would distract them from learning or listening to the talks/lessons. So, I sit in my seat ten minutes before sacrament. I do not get up and walk around, because I do not want to disrupt those who are trying to be reverent and listen to the prelude music. But I also try to make sure that I do not judge those who are walking around giving love.

We all have our own testimony levels, and our own interpretations.

Who am I to assume that my interpretation is the only one that is correct?

Besides, I have faith that the Bishop will address and take care of any irreverence issues that the Spirit prompts him to. So, that leaves me with nothing to worry or concern myself over. At least IMHO.

[Guest Username-Removed]

It is in the same context of a funeral.

Sounds like some of our Single Adult activities.

[Truegrits]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rameumptom

It is in the same context of a funeral.

Sounds like some of our Single Adult activities.

Toooooooooooo funny! :lol: :lol:

[Guest Username-Removed]

I dunno you guys are really starting to get me concerned. I love a good social life. To be honest, I think a person can have a spiritual life, and a social one at the same time. Just look at single adult activities. Furthermore, I've been in lots of wards were they had a pretty good social activities. Afterall, thats how we let people, see us who we are, in a setting outside of the formality of church, so they can actually know who we are. I do think church members in general are way too uptight. I get worried when people in the church look unhappy all the time, and I do mean ALL the time. Tomorrow my ward is meeting by our pool for a really great summer activity. Kids will be swimming, adults will be mingling and I will wear my Hawaiian shirt with pineapple motif! I think people see the formality of church, and think that thier whole lives have to be that way ... I dont.

[Jenamarie]

When I think of a social club, I think of a "clique". I take it as meaning we shouldn't limit our associations to only those who are members of the church. We should have close friends outside of the church, as well as in the church. And we shouldn't fear our kids having close friends that aren't in the church either.

Also, I take it to mean to treat the church with due respect, and not just as any other social organization. I had a Stake President once say in Stake Conference that Temple Recommends were NOT "special event passes". He'd had several people who hadn't been to church in years, and had no interest in really returning, try to get new recommends when a family member got engaged, so they could attend the wedding. They had little appreciation for the Sacred nature of the Temple.

My two cents on what it means. :)

[UintahJack]

If it is a social club I'm failing miserably. I'm one of those who sits on the back row and slips out as soon as Sacrament Meeting is over and doesn't go to ward dinners. There are a lot of people in the ward whose names I still don't know after five years. Church is to worship the Lord and remember his sacrifice and to learn about him, but it is also about fellowshipping each other, especially new members and visitors. We need to help each other with our trials and burdens. That is part of trying to become like Christ. I really really really need to work on this - true confessions.

[VisionOfLehi]

I can understand being reverent; keeping our voices low; not blocking the aisles or the hallways, or the doorways. But I also think that connecting with people is important. That those few minutes you spend hugging...talking to someone...asking about their week/the family/work...might just be the thing they needed. So, when someone tells me (and it has happened) that Church is not the place for socializing, my thought is ...what better place is there?

Fellowship...loving and caring for one another, is not passive. It requires actively making an effort...IMO.

Speaking as a convert, those things helped persuade me to join, and helped keep me going when I was pretty down in the dumps. And no, I wasn't going to seek out the people in another place to do that.

Social club or not, being social at Church helped me join, grow, and become stronger.

I met people who I would not see at activities, who took time to try and get to know me better and made me feel more at home.

Not a social club, but most definitely a place for fellowship.

[Guest Username-Removed]

For those that want church to be more than a funeral, I have some ideas! My suggestion is go early, set up chairs, turn on lights, unlock doors .... whatever. Then when you get done, do a meet and greet with everyone that comes into the chapel. Yep, just do it. You'll find that everyone loves to be greeted when they come to church. As pointed out in the article, just start doing something...

Ensign Magazine - June 2008

Reaching Out To Belong, Pp64

By Rebecca Yount

"We all want to feel like a valued member of a loving ward family. While we don’t go to church solely for its social aspects, attendance is much easier when we feel comfortable, accepted, and surrounded by friends. Unfortunately, there may be circumstances—such as being new in a ward, belonging to a ward with frequent turnover, or living in a ward that doesn’t seem very social or welcoming—when we feel we don’t belong."

"Take the lead. Be the first to smile, say hello, or extend a hand. You might feel that others should reach out first, but as has been said, “To have a friend, first be a friend.” They may be waiting for someone to reach out to them too."

"During the times we feel excluded, we can remember that during His earthly ministry, Christ was despised and rejected of men (see Isaiah 53:3). As He took upon Himself our sins and sorrows, He experienced every kind of pain and loneliness. We must rely on the Lord, seeking guidance through prayer and scripture study. As we do so, we can be guided and comforted by the Spirit.

As Paul reminds us, “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God” (Ephesians 2:19).

Each of us has a responsibility to strengthen the “household of God.” As we strive to feel a part of our ward families by reaching out to others, no one need feel lost in the crowd."

[Truegrits]

~~~UintahJack~~~

If it is a social club I'm failing miserably. I'm one of those who sits on the back row and slips out as soon as Sacrament Meeting is over and doesn't go to ward dinners. There are a lot of people in the ward whose names I still don't know after five years. Church is to worship the Lord and remember his sacrifice and to learn about him, but it is also about fellowshipping each other, especially new members and visitors. We need to help each other with our trials and burdens. That is part of trying to become like Christ. I really really really need to work on this - true confessions.

Yes, you really really really need to hang around, give others a chance to say "Hi". By leaving right after Sacrament you are cheating yourself, as well as the members of your Ward, out of the opportunity of getting better acquainted.

In going to your classes, participating, you get to know your Church Family. Going to an occasional Ward function, you get a more relaxed/casual atmosphere in which to mingle and interact.

Walking into the Chapel on Sunday morning...seeing these people that I have come to know...there is such a feeling of love and joy that flows through me...I wish that I had the time to greet every person there!

The phrase "You get out what you put in" comes to mind. You need to start giving of yourself...give others the chance to get to know you.

~~~My two cents worth :)

[Tough Grits]

Well, some of us are talking about two different things. There absolutely does need to be a higher level of reverence at our Church meetings, but that is different than Church activities.

By the way, reverence does NOT equal indifference, coldness, or fake-piety.

As far as Church activities, uh, why go to an activity if you are going to act like a statue?

Church activities ARE for socializing, having fun, fellow-shipping, and in some instances teaching the gospel in an informal, non-confrontational manner (like Pioneer Day or a Christmas Program).

I was once Activities Chairman, and I can tell you it was one of the toughest callings I have had. I forced ME to be more social, and to learn to depend on others to make the activity a success. That was hard for me. I am a "do it myself" type person, but that calling made me realize that the most successful activities depend on involving EVERYBODY.

In fact, I quickly learned, that the more members you give an assignment to, the more members that will actually show up!!!

Activities are also important because they are informal places where friends and neighbors can be invited. It truly can strengthen bonds with members amongst each other, and for members to strengthen bonds with the community.

[abqfriend]

Paul in his letter to the Church at Corinth complained of how people were coming to the Sacrament or the Breaking of Bread.

So the problem in one degree or another goes back 2000 years.

The Church at Corinth had a problem about how people were coming to the sacrament, but their problems were much more severe in comparison to what you are mentioning. The problem-if I read the initial post correctly-- is one of when to have a time of deep reverence and respect and when it is ok to meet and greet friends and build up your faith community with fellowship.

I am a Roman Catholic and not a member of the LDS Church, but on what the church should be about-if your are talking about the physical church and the worship service itself which we call liturgy,--- it should be approached with deep respect and reverence.

We have a social hall outside our church for people to gather after the service where they can socialize, exchange recipes, etc. Our church has many church activities which promote fellowship of the members. The worship service is approached with deep reverence.

Unfortunately in many Catholic churches, people no longer come in Sunday best. Some look like they are squeezing in church between rounds of golf. I see that as a trend in many Christian churches nationwide.

As an outsider or "investigator"-what I see as one of the strengths of the LDS church-is Sunday Best. I hope you keep up Sunday Best. Sunday Best can foster a greater reverence on approaching worship especially on reception of the Sacrament.

-Carol

Edited June 28, 2008 by abqfriend