the 10-zillionth dating thread*flamers run along*

[Guest SavingQueenDren]

QUESTIONS To Add to my Questionaire for a guy I like... This is like unto a pre-requesite*sp for stuff I look for in guys... So if you got any good questions I should ask plz feel free to add to this list of mine its like um a getting to know you better! I know there's things that I have already asked and found out. Just thought it would be fun to hear what others had to say or what not!

[puf_the_majic_dragon]

Well I haven't a clue about this guy or what things you think are important, but aside from the obvious mormon questions ( are you temple worthy, honorable priesthood holder etc ) I would like questions that got down to the root of who I am. What's your greatest fear? Greatest love? Greatest hope? And I'm a dreamer so I'd like a girl to ask me about my dreams and ambitions. I want to be admired for who and what I want to be, as much as for who I and what I am. But not everyone is like that so "what's your favorite sports team" might be a better choice for most guys.

I've found silly questions like "what kind of car would you be?" (I'd be a 1983 Corvette) can generate fun conversation, but don't usually help you get to know the person much better.

[Islander]

People are thrilled with the idea of being in love. We crave the hormonally driven high that courtship provides. However, that is not reality. One of the pitfulls of being young is being young. Meaning, there is little background to extrapolate and life experience to draw from. Questions mean very little since he may tell you what you want to hear or it may not actually be true, entirely.

It is safe to take it really slow, not to fantasize too much about the relationship, develop a friendship, get to know his friends and participate in the activities he is interested in. Get to know his family and see how they interact. Pay attention to his sisters and how he deals with them. Good chance that would be a behavior pattern he will model with you.

In my experience, dating somebody that is close to you provide the best chances for avoiding "lemons." The 20 question lineup is really not very meaningful or provide any degree of accuracy about the other's personality.

[MarginOfError]

A great question: How do you handle conflict?

If you're a person who needs to talk about your disagreements when they occur, you don't want to be with a guy who prefers to sleep on his problems before discussing them.

I'm a little different in how I approach relationships though. I don't put much emphasis on the building-common-ground aspect (which tends to happen with time anyway) and stress the importance of managing conflict. A couple with next to nothing in common that can manage their conflicts will be far more successful than a couple with everything in common that can't manage their conflicts.

[pdxpetite]

What kind of relationship do they have with their mother? I have had some relationships that were horrible because of the kind of relationship they had with their mothers. It's good to know what kind of family boundaries they have.

Dating in the Church can get serious too fast. Just my opinion. Being in love is great, but we forget sometimes about the practical. Ask questions about things that maybe you notice went wrong in other relationships so you don't repeat mistakes.

It's important not to bring in hard feelings from past relationships...all in all think positive and make sure your questions can have positive answers

Edited July 3, 2008 by pdxpetite

[Guest SavingQueenDren]

AWWW you guys are Awesome!!!! ok well more about this guy!! He's sucha great guy! He's very close with his family and they LOVE to joke around A LOT also. He's got a good strong relationship with his family from what I've seen.

Haven't hung out with him and his friends yet but we all seem to have something in common we LOVE to joke around and Laugh. I've found out that this guy is truly a sweetheart. However me on the other hand have had some tough relationships and make me iffy about other ones I get into. I don't fantasize too much about this relationship cuz what is there is Geniune Chemistry. He gets me in ways so many others have never like when I talk he completely understands what I am talking about its wonderful! But seriously keep with the comments I love reading different point of views n what not :)