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Bridive

Chastity Question

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So about 8 or 9 years ago I was walking along the road with a friend of mine and we spotted a black bag on the side of the road. Turns out the black bag was full of porn, we both instantly got addicted and we did some not so good things together. I'm not gay, we just both happened to be at the same place at the same time. Anyway we eventually both tried to repent and we didn't do anything together anymore. I forgot about what happened and focused all my energy on Pornography. Just a few days ago I went into see the bishop about the pornography issue, we have worked things out. Then on my way home I remembered what I had done with my friend, it was a very hard thing to go in and talk about the porn and I thought I was clean. So what can I expect when I go in to see the bishop about this issue? Will he make me give him the name of my friend? And since it was so long ago will I still have the normal punishment?

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So about 8 or 9 years ago I was walking along the road with a friend of mine and we spotted a black bag on the side of the road. Turns out the black bag was full of porn, we both instantly got addicted and we did some not so good things together. I'm not gay, we just both happened to be at the same place at the same time. Anyway we eventually both tried to repent and we didn't do anything together anymore. I forgot about what happened and focused all my energy on Pornography. Just a few days ago I went into see the bishop about the pornography issue, we have worked things out. Then on my way home I remembered what I had done with my friend, it was a very hard thing to go in and talk about the porn and I thought I was clean. So what can I expect when I go in to see the bishop about this issue? Will he make me give him the name of my friend? And since it was so long ago will I still have the normal punishment?

I believe you are done. The specific details of what transpired during a sexually charged episode are not relevant. Although the description you offer is somewhat vague I think you should concentrate now in following the course laid down by your bishop.

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Sorry for the vague description, but I don't think its appropriate discussion for this board. So you think I don't really need to go in again? Is confessing to pornography and this kinda the same thing? I know they are two different things, but is it in the same genre?

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I will, but what can I expect? Am I going to have to say who the other guy was? And since it was so long ago will it really be that bad of a punishment?

"Punishment" is not at issue. Believe me, your bishop will have zero interest in "punishing" you. He wants to help you to become clean. That is all he wants. He may be led to impose certain restrictions on you, but those restrictions are not punishment. They are aids to repentance. Always remember that. You are not being punished, you are being guided along the path to full repentance.

Don't give up! Tell your bishop everything about this and let him decide how to proceed. With dedication and singlemindedness, I believe you can be fully and completely healed of the damage that pornography has done to your mind and spirit. Don't give up!

Don't give up!

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Is this just as bad as if it was with a girl? I'm not saying its any better, but any look on the bright side might make this a little easier for me.

Fornication is fornication, and inappropriate sexual behavior is inappropriate sexual behavior. I don't know of any teachings that homosexual fornication is "better" or "worse" than heterosexual fornication.

That said, if my own precious child were involved in such activities, I admit that I would be less saddened and overwhelmed by heterosexual fornication than by homosexual. But that's just a personal feeling, not an expression of LDS doctrine.

The point is that you can be made clean. Focus on that, not on the specifics or whether A is worse than B.

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So about 8 or 9 years ago I was walking along the road with a friend of mine and we spotted a black bag on the side of the road. Turns out the black bag was full of porn, we both instantly got addicted and we did some not so good things together.

In your profile you say you are 19- so you were 10-11 when you came upon the black bag. If you have been viewing pornography for the last 8 to 9 years, then yes you need to talk with your Bishop, break the pornography habit and repent.

If you haven't been viewing the last several years and have not had the inclination- then it really wouldn't hurt to talk to your Bishop.

As for your friend - why would you need to contact him or report his name to the Bishop? Unless you view pornography together now, you still don't need to name him.

Most teens of both genders jump at the chance to view pornography- I did when I was in my early teens and I am a woman. My older brother would sneak girlie mags into his bedroom. Well, he paid me $5.00 to clean his room. When I swept under his bed I found the magazines. Of course I looked at them. Then I took them to my Dad.

A few months later as I was changing the sheets on his bed, I found his stash under the mattress- I looked at them, then took them to my Dad.

Brother said he was studying them because he wanted to be an artist- Dad told him to wait until he moved out to use them. Under his roof there will be no magazines of such degrading trash.

Several times a week, Dad would search my brother's room. Never found any more girlie magazines. My brother never became an artist either.

I was inactive in Church for 29 years. I lived with my 1st husband for 6 years before we got married. When I went to request to take the Temple Preparedness classes, I told my Branch President about that. He told me that I didn't need to repent - I married the man, case closed.

If you feel that it is the right thing to do then do it.

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Here is my 2 cents worth... If it keeps haunting you then it's best to get it over and done with, speak to the bishop.... he'll give you council according to you and who you are. He may not do anything because he will see your remorse, consider the circumstances, age and that you are willing to fully confess to do what's right. The only way you going to be free of this is to get over with.... why torchure yourself more for the next 20yrs, when your burden could be light after 30min.....

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I will, but what can I expect? Am I going to have to say who the other guy was? And since it was so long ago will it really be that bad of a punishment?

Hi Bridive,

Just keep in mind that the purpose of confession is NOT to punish. It is not a witchhunt to expose and drive out sinners. Confession is there, to help you rid yourself of the burden of sin. Think about your anxieties, your worries. If you don't repent, you carry them with you throughout life. They can burden you, even twist you if they're bad enough (although it sounds like this one probably isn't).

Also, you can expect the Bishop NOT to react like Vort did. As he said, that's his personal reaction, which is based probably on the culture he lives in, his upbringing, and experiences he's had. Your Bishop isn't there to be "saddened and overwhelmed" by the things you tell him. Just the opposite - he is there to help you overcome your own sadness. You can expect your Bishop to sound like this:

Interview with the Apostle Elder Oaks

Christ atoned for your sins, and confession and repentence are for your benefit, and your Bishop is Christ's earthly representative for you. If you believe all those things, then go and meet with him. Tell your Bishop about your worries and fears - tell him everything you're telling us. We don't know what will happen - that's between you, the Bishop, and the Lord.

I will say that I have repented for stuff that occurred in the past, and I did not need to disclose the names of the others involved. Your experience may be different, or it may not.

Go forward with faith.

LM

Edited by Loudmouth_Mormon

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Who the 'other person' is/was IS irrelevant. It happened with someone and revealing his name should not be the issue. What you're doing now to repent is the issue. And listen to what everyone else has posted. It's not a punishment, it's an opportunity to become clean again.

How many times will He forgive? As many times as it takes.

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I think it was a gift you remembered all the detail from that experience. You have been carrying it around somewhere like a sack of stinking garbage. Now is your chance to purge it all out of you! You can walk back into that bishop's office with more of your excavated burden and walk out burden free.

Keep your eye on your goal. Cleanliness!! Freedom!! Peace!! Everything that is happening and will happen is a gift.

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