Inactivity In The Church?

[funkymonkey]

I've been trying to tell her that the church is good but sometimes we as members aren't but it's still hard for us.

My brother has been inactive for years and years. Just this last Sunday he went to church for the first time in who knows how long. And guess what comes up in priesthood class? ... a guy stands up and says that tatoos are "the mark of the beast". My brother wanted to stand up and take off his shirt. I told him he totally should have.

I am personally drawn to tatoos. If your wife was in my ward I'd probably follow her around just to get a better look at em. :)

Edited August 19, 2008 by funkymonkey
spelling...I have a virus in my brain, what do you expect?!

[Truegrits]

funkymonkey:

My brother has been inactive for years and years. Just this last Sunday he went to church for the first time in who knows how long. And guess what comes up in priesthood class? ... a guy stands up and says that tatoos are "the mark of the beast". My brother wanted to stand up and take off his shirt. I told him he totally should have.

I am personally drawn to tatoos. If your wife was in my ward I'd probably follow her around just to get a better look at em. :)

What your brother could have said to his remark is, No, not the mark of the beast, but the stained glass of my temple...:)

[pushka]

I was in charge of the Branch's news letter. .

When the newsletter was up and running one of my duties was to interview a member of a the branch for the monthly spotlight. I enjoyed doing it because it forced me to speak and come up with creative and fun questions to ask during the interview.

The members enjoyed reading about fellow members of the branch. It allowed them to see the goals, hobbies and everyday life of someone that they may not have really known about. It also helped everyone to see that so many of us are unique yet also very much alike. This became one of many tools that helped break up some of the major cliques in the branch.

I'll be glad once the newsletter is up and running again. Not only is it fun to do but having an active calling in the branch gives me even more intensive to remain active and involved.

I used to help out with a newsletter for a local community group I was involved with..we too tried to interview one or two people per issue so that others got to know them better.

I have thought about producing a smaller newssheet for the Single Adults programme in my ward, and am pleased to read that somebody else has the same desire to interview others and to share their thoughts, circumstances, interests with others in the hope that they will all become closer to each other..Thank You :)

[Angelkajm]

Becoming inactive is not very cut and dry. It isn't like you can pin point a person, a reason etc. I believe that we fall victim to blame "someone treated me poorly" or "I don't like my new ward" etc. Bottom line is that they are poor excuses because the "church" isn't the reason, it is people involved and no one is perfect. When we let others influence us like that it becomes very dangerous. Let me make this clear I HAD BEEN INACTIVE for most of my teenage years and early married life. I blamed it on not feeling included, not feeling this or that, someone hates me etc. I know some of you will be upset for me saying all this but THE CHURCH IS TRUE!, keep that the focus of why you worship and all the rest will fall into place. One way to stay active is to have a calling, something you feel responsibility for. I know that in our ward that is something the bishop works very hard on. Whenever there is a new member or a new family to the ward he will give them a calling right away.

[RadioactiveWolfboy]

I was talking to my friend who is in the Bishopric and he was telling me about his wife's tatoo, and I was suprised that she had one. It really doesn't bother me though. I will not hold it against her, nor judge her. I would not get a tatoo because of respecting my body as a temple, but I will not hold it against those who do have them. we have people in our Ward that have tatoos and I will talk to them without a second thought. They have just as much right to live the gospel as I. I did have an earring in my left ear for a while about 6 years ago. I was being a bit of a rebel just before my ex-wife and I separated. So I understand the lure of things like that.

Rich

[sherilee23]

It is far to easy to become inactive in my personal experience I have had tragedies make me not want to go then I moved but since I have moved we have had issues with our car and only been able to attend a few times ...the lady in the nursery was RUDE and I have yet to get a home/visiting teacher I know my records were transfered because I called and had it done myself I almost feel neglected by my new ward and through circumstance and dissappointment have remained inactive.

[Raggman84]

My brother has been inactive for years and years. Just this last Sunday he went to church for the first time in who knows how long. And guess what comes up in priesthood class? ... a guy stands up and says that tatoos are "the mark of the beast". My brother wanted to stand up and take off his shirt. I told him he totally should have.

I am personally drawn to tatoos. If your wife was in my ward I'd probably follow her around just to get a better look at em. :)

This guy may have been watching too much Pirates of the Caribbean. How Jack Sparrow was branded with a "P"

Just because somebody has a tattoo doesn't mean that they are a bad person. I have a brother in law that is a convert to the church. He once lived a different life style and has a tattoo. He is a temple worthy man.

Although it's nice to have participation in the class I think sometimes people cross a line and they don't know it.

I have a good friend who does go to church but sometimes has trouble attending the Relief Society because of some overly judgmental comments that she has heard over the years.

I've heard some rather off the wall or overly judgmental comments in Sunday School and Priesthood too. It's always nice when somebody nicely corrects things.

It is unfortunate when people become offended and become so offended that they are unsure about fully participating in church.

[Raggman84]

I used to help out with a newsletter for a local community group I was involved with..we too tried to interview one or two people per issue so that others got to know them better.

I have thought about producing a smaller newssheet for the Single Adults programme in my ward, and am pleased to read that somebody else has the same desire to interview others and to share their thoughts, circumstances, interests with others in the hope that they will all become closer to each other..Thank You :)

That's good that you have this desire.

You are right it can be a tool to help others become closer. One of the reasons for the newsletter was so it could be given to less active members. Some people don't really want to attend church but are totally cool with an occasional visit and a newsletter in the mail.

To get a newsletter started there has to be a true plan and a support system to keep it up and running. If it lacks a real plan or a lack of desire to keep things moving everything will slow down and fall apart.

Pushka I wish you the best of luck on making a successful newsletter.

[Truegrits]

Our Church is made up of people...all kinds. We are not perfect. Nor will we be in this lifetime. My Ward has a poor record of Visiting Teaching. I have not been visited in three years. Our Relief Society teacher goes off on tangents, and says things that are just plain WRONG. There are a couple of members that I never see smile! We have a problem with our Primary teachers being there regularly. Yet, I cannot let the actions of others deter me from being where I know I need to be. I may at times lose faith in the people, but I never lose faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

[funkymonkey]

And Nothing Shall Offend Them

Elder David A. Bednar "Through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense."

I really liked this talk.

[Truegrits]

Thanks, funkymonkey. That talk has so much food for thought.

You and I cannot control the intentions or behavior of other people. However, we do determine how we will act. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended.

This quote says perfectly what I feel.

[Gomezy3k]

My parents were members but we lived so far from church. When I was 8 we moved to a small town that had a branch. My mother started first, dragging me along, and finally convinced (nagged) my father to start going to... I was baptized at 9. From then on we were almost always at the church for some meeting or another. My mother was in the Primary as a teacher, counselor and president and Relief Society in all sorts of positions. My father was second counselor and executive secretary and several other positions that I forget.

I was sent on a mission, (didn't want to go, but my mother wanted me to go so I went.). When I returned I taught Seminary... I got married in the SLC Temple and over the next 18 years my wife and I held assorted positions. I went through periods of belief, and periods of doubt. I would study, fast and pray all the while still going to church and then when I got no answer my doubting period would begin. It cycled. When I was on the mission I saw good people who sincerely believed, but they barely were able to survive..some had no indoor plumbing and the light shown through the walls of the house...and yet they scraped and saved to pay what little tithes and offerings they could.

I began to wonder how a god who demanded we worship him, not help people who worshipped him. Oh sure there were stories of prayers being answered but it was always "so and so who knew someone who knew someone who had their prayers answered". I noticed that my prayers were not answered. I have been praying to know if the church was true, if the bible and BOM was true, etc. And got nothing. Oh sure I could be like everyone else and stand up and bear my testimony...even get a tear in my eye. But it was all an act. I felt nothing.

After 18 years, I could take it no more, and got a divorce. (I spent almost a year in a psyche ward before I made the decision to get free.) Once on my own, I went searching, I looked into Pagan religions, christian religions, spiritual religions, and other belief systems. I discovered that I felt nothing when I tried them. So went back to Christianity and the LDS church and tried again. I read, fasted, prayed, etc. All the things that I had told investigators to do...and got zip. No prayers answered. I felt nothing.. and so now I am an agnostic. Why am I here on an LDS forum if I do not believe? Well, as one of my shrinks told me, we hang onto what we were raised with and feel somewhat comfortable with.

So I guess the reason I am inactive is because "god" could care less about answering any of my prayers. I was told if you are doing something and it isn't working then stop doing it and try something else... so I am at the point where if god wants me to worship him, then he better be coming across with help and answers. I pray, god answers, I worship.

[Gomezy3k]

I was very shy, had a gloomy outlook on life and was not very focused on much of anything.

I didn't totally know it at the time but I had a pretty bad case of Social Anxiety, Depression and A.D.D. which can many times be all linked together

I was on an Anti Depressant for about 2 years. I am now off that but I am currently on a medication to aid me with A.D.D. and now I can concentrate much better.

I was diagnosed with Dysthymic Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder... Homicidal/Suicial Ideation, PTSD, and RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)... Needless to say I am pretty screwed up. I am on Anti-depressants and been through so many shrinks I lost count. I was an in patient in a Psyche ward a few times, the last time for almost a year. I vowed never to go back....

This is pretty much the reason I am inactive. I feel nothing..well anger, but nothing else. I can function but not real well. I have tried praying to be healed or helped but god in his infinite wisdom has failed me. So.. I am still inactive... I am glad you were able to over come your problems...

Edited August 21, 2008 by Gomezy3k

[Raggman84]

Well Actually Gomezy3k I'm still working on my problems.

Things are much better for me now but I am still working on many issues.

Honestly I feel that I just got lucky. The medications mixed well with my personal body chemistry. I've read about people who were on the same exact medication but in one form or another it didn't work for them.

I was also lucky to find a school counselor who actually cared. I was glad to have found this counselor when I did. One of my cousins passed away a few weeks after I started to see this counselor. She put what we were working on aside and she helped me to see that grieving was normal and what I felt was normal.

The Medication that was right for me helped me feel the emotion and the Counselor helped me understand the emotion.

On a previous occasion I did see an LDS counselor through the LDS social services for a very short time.

We didn't truly have enough sessions to truly get into depth about what my main issues were.

However he could tell that I was depressed. One good piece of information and advice that he gave me was this. When You are depressed it is hard to truly feel and be in touch with your emotions. If it is hard to feel your emotions than it is also hard to feel the spirit. We don't think the spirit we feel the spirit.

Like I said though I've just been lucky. A few years down the road I had enough of the depression and was lucky to find a medication that helped open the doors to my emotions. A little bit further down the road I found a counselor that helped me understand them.

[VisionOfLehi]

I haven't been in three weeks. First I had just got back from a long trip... 2nd we weren't home. This last week I was too exhausted, hadn't been feeling well (was so dizzy I couldn't walk and was throwing up.)

And they all make convenient excuses since I don't have a strong desire to go, anyway.

My reason for contemplating inactivity is probably different than what's been discussed.

I don't want to go because it makes me feel better, and right now I just don't want to feel better.

I've also never had to go alone. I started going with my ex-gf and her family. After that it was with my friends. Now I'm in a new town and I don't know anyone besides my dad and brothers, and so my "avoidance" traits are kicking it into high gear.

[Gomezy3k]

Well Actually Gomezy3k I'm still working on my problems.

Things are much better for me now but I am still working on many issues.

Honestly I feel that I just got lucky. The medications mixed well with my personal body chemistry. I've read about people who were on the same exact medication but in one form or another it didn't work for them.

I was also lucky to find a school counselor who actually cared. I was glad to have found this counselor when I did. One of my cousins passed away a few weeks after I started to see this counselor. She put what we were working on aside and she helped me to see that grieving was normal and what I felt was normal.

The Medication that was right for me helped me feel the emotion and the Counselor helped me understand the emotion.

On a previous occasion I did see an LDS counselor through the LDS social services for a very short time.

We didn't truly have enough sessions to truly get into depth about what my main issues were.

However he could tell that I was depressed. One good piece of information and advice that he gave me was this. When You are depressed it is hard to truly feel and be in touch with your emotions. If it is hard to feel your emotions than it is also hard to feel the spirit. We don't think the spirit we feel the spirit.

Like I said though I've just been lucky. A few years down the road I had enough of the depression and was lucky to find a medication that helped open the doors to my emotions. A little bit further down the road I found a counselor that helped me understand them.

I am glad it is working for you. I have been going through therapy for quite some time. Seems like each shrink comes up with their own pet diagnosis. Presently just seeing a shrink for meds and nothing else. I have thought about trying to find a good shrink but apathy rules...

[Brother Ed]

The way I keep people from being ignored is I don't ignore them. Every Sunday I look for people I have not seen at church before. I go up and introduce myself and visit for just a minute. We have a large ward with a little over 300 in attendance each Sunday but I am there early each Sunday and can see new people as they arrive. Ben Raines

Ben you are the best! You did exactly what the Savior would do.

 

Love, Brother Ed

[Brother Ed]

We moved from a ward we loved a few years back, a ward where we had friends and did things together outside Church and when we got to the new ward we had none of that, we knew no one and no one knew us, its was discouraging at first but then we decided to start inviting people around our age over for dinner after Church and we got to know these people and pretty soon we starting getting invitations and all of a sudden we found ourselves not missing our old ward as much and loving our new ward more. To have a friend you need to be a friend. For the man with the tattoo'd wife, please start doing this, once people get to know your wife they will stare less. Tattoo's are pretty foreign in LDS culture -- it could be they are curious and want to see them, not that they are put off by them. What she takes as disdain may be simple curiousity.

Nice going Senior Member. You are proactive and you acted instead of being acted upon. You are terrific. You can make things happen. Expressing Love and Kindness always strengthens others and especially ourselves. Love, Bro. Ed

[Brother Ed]

I understand your issues with coming to church with small children. Sometimes they just won't go to nursery and you are left to walk the halls. But it isn't the waste it appears to be. Those nursery aged kids do learn and soak up the truth as any of us do. It is a stage I think a lot of us LDS parents pass thru. But God knows you are there giving the effort and sacrifice of walking the halls and he is a rewarder of such dedication.

And with regards to the tattoo thing -- tell you wife to come sit by me!! I will hold the baby and overlook the tattoo! :)

Any dirty look is reflection of the person giving it! and evidence that they haven't evolved into something more loving and understanding. Or they are really looking at your wife's awesome dress and are jealous they don't look that good. Who knows what people are thinking behind those apparent dirty looks. I think your wife should wear them without worry. They are part of her and her history and part of who she was and where she is today. I have felt the dirty look or two when I didn't loose all my baby weight. It is all good. We can love ourselves thru those obstacles and refuse to become offended or hurt and learn what it means to love those who aren't so nice and then search thru the crowd for others who are needing a friendly look and offer it! :)

Don't turn from our Savior because of the weakness of others. Hang in there. The Lord will bless you. Some of my dearest friends have tattoos but their hearts are pure. Just love others until your love melts their hearts and they will thank you forever for helping them grow and become more like our Savior. Remember the Lord will help you. Pray for strength. Love, Brother Ed

[andypg]

I love to sleep in, and it doesn't help that I have to wake up at 8:30 to get to church on time at 10:15. Back when I was a Catholic there was a gorgeous chapel on campus so all I had to do was put on a polo, jeans and walk 5 minutes to the chapel. Having to wear suits and look nice takes me a while and hate it when I have to wake up Sunday. Though I recently noticed my Sundays are much nicer when I go to church.

 

As far as the term "inactive" I personally hate the term "active" and "inactive". I still use the Catholic terminology of "devout" for active. Non-devout seems a little mean for inactive, but can't think of a better term for it. I really prefer the term devout though.

[Roseslipper]

Im sorry I have little time to spear on here so I have just read the first page.  Like it was said people go inactive for many reasons.  Sin is a biggie not thinking their not good enough, but remember Satan wants us to feel this way and just come. Or not wanting to get up I was like that now Sunday and any day Im at church is the best day for me.  It's about building your relationship with the Savior.  Taking the time to grow, learn, and trust in the Lord, not in the world.  Some times we think stepping out of the church is the way to find what we are searching for, But I've learned what were looking for and might not see is only found in the church were we can find true happiness.

 

We also need to fellowship more, and no that no one is perfect, each of us are at different levels of growth.  I think if we could get our Vt & Ht up  it would probably help its a great way to show that we are indeed our brothers and sisters keeper.  No man is an island we all need each other.  Dont be afraid to reach out to others in caring and loving ways.  Its better to try to prevent a person from going inactive then after they have.  Watch and see hey its so much easier today we can use technology, send a text or call, best way is to just reach out any way that we can.

 

And dont forget real active people can get less active- we just need to be watchkeepers!

[StrawberryFields]

What constitutes inactivity?

Can a person or family be overwhelmed by excessive downtrend of bad luck, and not attend as many meetings as they used to and still be considered active?

Is being active having and bearing witness of a testimony or is more based in being seen in church?

[Palerider]

What constitutes inactivity?

Can a person or family be overwhelmed by excessive downtrend of bad luck, and not attend as many meetings as they used to and still be considered active?

Is being active having and bearing witness of a testimony or is more based in being seen in church?

Not sure this is the answer you are looking for ....I was always told and taught that if you attended Sacrament Meeting two times a month you are not considered less active.

[PolarVortex]

In August I visited Salt Lake City and took one of the tours to the LDS Humanitarian Services.  I started chatting with the van drivers (a charming older missionary couple) and the wife surprised me by saying that she saw nothing wrong with going to a Sacrament Meeting and then skipping everything else if it would cause stress.  To be clear, she was not advocating permanent withdrawal from non-Sacrment Meeting activities... she was just saying that it's okay to skip some things now and then if you need your space, or are timidly getting back into the water after many years of inactivity.

[tweetyt03]

I know my husband, who's a convert, went inactive when he broke the word of wisdom, confessed & was asked not to pray & was then called onto pray in Sunday School & he had to decline. He felt humiliated. & he didn't wanna go back...