Reactivation Help


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Am trying to reactivate Deacon age boys in our ward. Have been sucessful with three boys, but not so with two others, nothing seems to work.

These two boys are in different families but both live with single parents and are not related.

So far have tried personal visits, quorum presidents visits, phoning, Deacons calling and inviting, activity invitations, privatetly talking with mom and grandma for their help (they are supportive but nothing happens). Both boys are not rude, but seems that they have learned at an early age to simply tell you what you want to hear to get rid of you.

Both boys will indicate they will come either to Church, Mutual, or Activities, but they never show. We have tried swinging by to pick them up but they both always have an excuse why they can't go.

I suspect that they have little religious influence at home, and it is easier for mom to let them sleep in on Sunday mornings than fight them to go to church. Mom and or Grandma sometimes attend, but both familes could be considered inactive.

I am not ready to throw in the towel yet, as I have always beleived that if you try to magnify your calling and do what is right, God will not let you fail. But so far my prayers and efforts have not be fruitful.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Edited by lilered
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At some point, and I can't tell you what this point is, you might want to take a break from going after them. If you go after them for too long, it will just become the ritual to throw you off and they may even come to resent the unwelcome persistence. Sometimes it helps to stop trying for a month or two, then resume your efforts.

You might also ask them specifically what things they like to do, and plan activities that are obviously intended to get them to come. It probably won't work, but they'll notice that you went out of their way to plan something for them (even if they don't show any sign that they noticed).

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Everyone has great ideas. Use them. I might offer one more option. You say that Mom and Grandma don't attend that often and there is little religious influence at home. If all else fails, maybe you should focus on getting Mom and Grandma to attend on a regularly basis and set an example for their children.

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Am trying to reactivate Deacon age boys in our ward. Have been sucessful with three boys, but not so with two others, nothing seems to work.

These two boys are in different families but both live with single parents and are not related.

So far have tried personal visits, quorum presidents visits, phoning, Deacons calling and inviting, activity invitations, privatetly talking with mom and grandma for their help (they are supportive but nothing happens). Both boys are not rude, but seems that they have learned at an early age to simply tell you what you want to hear to get rid of you.

Both boys will indicate they will come either to Church, Mutual, or Activities, but they never show. We have tried swinging by to pick them up but they both always have an excuse why they can't go.

I suspect that they have little religious influence at home, and it is easier for mom to let them sleep in on Sunday mornings than fight them to go to church. Mom and or Grandma sometimes attend, but both familes could be considered inactive.

I am not ready to throw in the towel yet, as I have always beleived that if you try to magnify your calling and do what is right, God will not let you fail. But so far my prayers and efforts have not be fruitful.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Fast and pray....when everything you have tried failed, now go to the Lord for help.

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Try to get them involved in the other activities of the church that are not just meetings. Do you scouts camp? I have hardly ever found a boy who didn't like camping, fishing, hiking, pizza night, something.

Ben Raines

Speaking as an inactive member, I think Ben is on the right track. The main reason for my inactivity both as a kid and now is that going to church is not interesting nor worthwhile. Believe it or not, I try to go to church after Super Bowl Sunday just about every year -- this year, as well. First, I can't find out my ward's schedule. Second, when I talk with my active friends, what I hear is not encouraging. No more lively discussions of the lessons. From what I hear, it's yes or no questions with obvious answers. No one is EVER going to talk about pre-existence (to use a recent example from here) and stem cell research.

Now scouting -- that kept me very active until the troop seemed (to me) to have stopped the camping and hiking in favor of studying for merit badges and making Eagle. That seemed too much like school for me.

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  • 3 months later...

I think in 2003 President Monson gave a talk and said that there was a deacon in his ward long ago that would rather swim or surf than go to Church, He would find him every week and ane time went into the water after him while wearing his suit, after the kid realized that someone cared he finally went. That may be all this kid needs, he could feel unwanted at home or not understand that people care, give him some one on one time, even if its on a basketball court.

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Captain, now everyone can find out their ward schedule by going to www.maps.lds.org

And two, lesson discussions totally depend how well they are taught by the teachers themselves on a ward level. Some wards have great and open discussions, comments, and dialogues, while other wards are totally lacking in that department.

Hope you find a ward you feel comfortable attending.

Good luck

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Am trying to reactivate Deacon age boys in our ward........So far have tried personal visits, quorum presidents visits, phoning, Deacons calling and inviting, activity invitations, privatetly talking with mom and grandma for their help........We have tried swinging by to pick them up.........I am not ready to throw in the towel yet................Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Your post brought me to tears.

After deciding to go back to church after 10 or so years of inactivity, I requested that my records be sent from Salt Lake (where they were sent because no one knew where I was) to the ward I was attending. I was active for about 3 months before going inactive again.

For the next six years, I had visiting teachers and home teachers reaching out to me. I did the same thing these deacons of yours do, tell them I would see them in church and then no show. This went on for years on end. I might go for three weeks in a row and then be gone again for the next year.

Those phone calls, invitations and visits were never forgotten. I knew that they cared, but I was just not ready to make the commitment to go back. Some of the ones that tried the hardest had moved out of the ward, before I came back. I will forever be grateful to them for reaching out, even though it seemed like I didn't care.

Your caring and willingness to go above and beyond will have a lasting effect on them. You might never see them in church, but I can tell you that it will. Don't give up on them and never take their lack of interest personally.

May Heavenly Father bless you in your righteous efforts!

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Thx. Vanilla * for your inspirational words. As a matter of fact, I am sitting here tonite addressing Christmas Cards to all the Deacons including the inactive and writing in them. Hopefully, one day these boys can be touched by someone if not me.

A humerous story, a few weeks ago, I took the entire Deacons Quorum out of Priesthood class and drove them a few miles to one of the inactive Deacons house. It was noon, but the entire family was still in bed. We ended up getting them all up. Anyway, the inactive boy opened the door and one of the Presidency grabbed him jokingly by the throat asking him "Why haven't you been coming to Priesthood"? as we walked into the house. Then, pretty soon we had the entire family up, and gave them all the Priesthood lesson. After we were done, the mom informed us that the reason everyone had stayed home was that all of the kids had some type of contagious skin rash on them. We immediatly excused ourselves and went back to the church. That nite the Deacons mom called me (the one that grabbed the inactive one by the throat) wanting to know if I knew why her son was coming down with a big red rash on him. I informed her of the story above and she immediatly called the mom of the inactive to find out what her son had been exposed too. I thought as I sat there, boy I'm going to get in trouble over this. The next day I called the sick boy to see how he was and his mom answered and said she kept him home and he was in his room. Big rash but not sick. I apologized to her for exposing her son, she just laughed and told me that under the circumstances she wan't all mad because we were trying so hard to reactivate these boys. She did say she told her son not to grab anyone else by the throat because he was paying the price now for his inappropraite action. THe Bishopric just laughed when I told them what happened.

Edited by lilered
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I was raised in a home with an inactive mother and non-member father who wouldn't allow me to go to church. Through the years, we had missionaries, HT, and VT visit us regularly, sporadically, not at all, etc. The result of those visits was that when I was 18 I was baptized by my HT (who was completely surprised since I took the missionary discussions at BYU and waited until Christmas to get baptized by my HT--he had no idea). I served a mission and am now serving in my ward.

My dad has softened so much towards the church. He still isn't a member, but he accepts HT visits (my mom passed away last year). Isn't that fun? A HT is assigned to my dad who is not a member and has attended church maybe 3 times total through 20+ years.

No one knows of the influence he/she can and will have on individuals. Thank you lilered for your dedicated service.

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Your post brought me to tears.

After deciding to go back to church after 10 or so years of inactivity, I requested that my records be sent from Salt Lake (where they were sent because no one knew where I was) to the ward I was attending. I was active for about 3 months before going inactive again.

For the next six years, I had visiting teachers and home teachers reaching out to me. I did the same thing these deacons of yours do, tell them I would see them in church and then no show. This went on for years on end. I might go for three weeks in a row and then be gone again for the next year.

Those phone calls, invitations and visits were never forgotten. I knew that they cared, but I was just not ready to make the commitment to go back. Some of the ones that tried the hardest had moved out of the ward, before I came back. I will forever be grateful to them for reaching out, even though it seemed like I didn't care.

Your caring and willingness to go above and beyond will have a lasting effect on them. You might never see them in church, but I can tell you that it will. Don't give up on them and never take their lack of interest personally.

May Heavenly Father bless you in your righteous efforts!

Welcome home...:)

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  • 2 weeks later...

My grandma just to say: "Only the Lord knows what's in the hearts of men. who is to say? Paul just to imprison and kill people for a living..."

I have a stewardship in the priesthood and if they send me to HT a family I will go as long as they'll receive me for as long as it is my assignment. I will tell them of my love and my desire that they are safe. protected and cared by the merciful hand of our Heavenly Father, and mean it. The Lord knows better so I would not second guess Him.

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Sometimes one just has to acceptm that these kids do not want to be re-activated.

Don't take this the wrong way. But I think that's kind of a cop out. The Lord has asked us to reach out. And yeah maybe they aren't ready. But the Lord asked us to keep doing it. Let the Lord bring the youth back in His time. But dont let the fact that they dont want to be reactivated stop you from doing what you were called to do.

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