Distinguishing Wants from Needs

[MorningStar]

Our leaders encourage us to stick to the things we need and not wants. How do you distinguish between the two? Some people think cell phones are a need for safety reasons, although I don't own one and haven't been able to bring myself to buy one when we can't afford it. But boy, it was lame when I was 7 months pregnant and my tire blew out at 1am on the freeway. But luckily, there were two cops right behind me who immediately came to my rescue. At that point, I was more concerned about my full bladder than anything (no bushes anywhere), but I would've been very worried to be sitting there wondering if the first person to offer help would be a psycho.

We are expecting our 4th child and are in a two bedroom apartment. Would you say we "need" a three bedroom? Some people say no, but there is an occupancy law and our manager could give us 30 days notice to move out if he decided to.

What things do you consider wants and needs?

[bytor2112]

Sometimes I want something so bad.... I end up needing it.

[Truegrits]

Simplistically...a WANT is something desired, while a NEED is a necessity.

If one is on the road traveling a lot, especially at night or in less populated areas, a cell might very well be considered a necessity. But if to get that phone you had to sacrifice food on the table, would it really be that necessary?

Six people living in a two bedroom apartment would seem like a need to me. But what would you have to give up/do, to move to a larger place?

I think the Distinguishing Wants from Needs is not the difficult part; the difficulty comes with how to acquire the things we need. (or think we need?)

Very thought-provoking, MorningStar! I have confused myself...

[Vort]

D&C 51:3 "Wherefore, let my servant Edward Partridge, and those whom he has chosen, in whom I am well pleased, appoint unto this people their portions, every man equal according to his family, according to his circumstances and his wants and needs."

Mosiah 18:29 "And this he said unto them, having been commanded of God; and they did walk uprightly before God, imparting to one another both temporally and spiritually according to their needs and their wants."

D&C 82:17 "And you are to be equal, or in other words, you are to have equal claims on the properties, for the benefit of managing the concerns of your stewardships, every man according to his wants and his needs, inasmuch as his wants are just..."

Not really answering your question, but just illustrating that God doesn't always distinguish between the two, and that he wants us to have our "wants" as well as our "needs" -- inasmuch as our "wants" are just.

[Connie]

I have four children. We live in a small home with just 2 bedrooms. I have 2 girls and 2 boys, they are all young, the oldest 7 and the youngest 1. I think that living in this close space has strengthened us as a family. It can be difficult at times, but i often think of Joseph Smith growing up and how he and all his siblings (which was much more than 4) slept in the same room and how close they were as a family. Just know that it is possible but it does take some sacrifice and selflessness--give and take.

I hope all goes well with your 4th delivery!

[Misshalfway]

It is amazing what we really can live without. More and more I long for simplicity. There isn't much happiness in "stuff".

[Heavenguard]

Just based on occupancy law, I'd suggest seriously looking for a place. You would not want to be caught unawares with such a short time to find a new place and move.

How far along are you? I have friends who just moved into a new house; the wife is about 7 months pregnant now. Moving was very difficult for her, I and another friend helped them unpack one afternoon and she and her husband were so grateful, even though we'd done so little. If possible, perhaps you could work something out with your manager about your numbers and the fact that you're pregnant and maybe have him give you more time to look, pack up, and move out.

Edit: The "caught unawares" thing is what happened to my friends, actually. They were renting a condo, and although they were already looking for a bigger place (for their baby), they hadn't found one yet when their landlord said he wanted the place back. It was very, very stressful for them, and ended up buying a house in a neighbourhood they didn't want to be in due to the pressure of time constraints.

Edited August 11, 2008 by Heavenguard

[Connie]

My favorite book on simplification is Simplify: A Guide to Caring for the Soul by Carolyn J. Rasmus. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in simplifying their life.

[MichaelPAGuy]

Can you please specify on what the leaders of the church said? Which leader was it?

[Palerider]

Our leaders encourage us to stick to the things we need and not wants. How do you distinguish between the two? Some people think cell phones are a need for safety reasons, although I don't own one and haven't been able to bring myself to buy one when we can't afford it. But boy, it was lame when I was 7 months pregnant and my tire blew out at 1am on the freeway. But luckily, there were two cops right behind me who immediately came to my rescue. At that point, I was more concerned about my full bladder than anything (no bushes anywhere), but I would've been very worried to be sitting there wondering if the first person to offer help would be a psycho.

We are expecting our 4th child and are in a two bedroom apartment. Would you say we "need" a three bedroom? Some people say no, but there is an occupancy law and our manager could give us 30 days notice to move out if he decided to.

What things do you consider wants and needs?

we have cell phones and my wife and I talked about if we needed to make more cuts in our budget that those cell phones woould go. I have always viewed them as a luxury item....

[Mykdiver]

It is amazing what we really can live without. More and more I long for simplicity. There isn't much happiness in "stuff".

I agree with you 100%! Stuff just boggs us down and we concentrate on it instead of what we really need which is to be closer to the Lord.

My wife and I are all for a smplification of life! When I retire from the Navy in 3 years we are going to build ourselves a house on the family farm in MO and live the simple life.

[MorningStar]

Oh cool. I think this is the talk I heard years ago that helped me.

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Greed, Selfishness, and Overindulgence

These are the two parts I liked the most:

First, we should not confuse wants with needs.

My mother taught me an important lesson along these lines. For many years my father had a practice of trading for a new car every year. Then, shortly after World War II when grain prices increased, we were surprised one day when Dad drove home in a more expensive car.

One morning my mother asked, “How much more did the new car cost than the other one?”

When Dad told her, my mother said, “Well, the other car has always been able to get me where I need to go. I think we ought to give the difference to someone who needs it more than we do.”

And so it was. The next year Dad returned to the less-expensive cars, and they continued their generous ways.

If we are not careful, it is easy for our wants to become needs. Remember the line “There, there, little luxury, don’t you cry. You’ll be a necessity by and by.”

Second, we should avoid spoiling children by giving them too much.

In our day, many children grow up with distorted values because we as parents overindulge them. Whether you are well-to-do or, like most of us, of more modest means, we as parents often attempt to provide children with almost everything they want thus taking away from them the blessing of anticipating, of longing for something they do not have. One of the most important things we can teach our children is to deny themselves. Instant gratification generally makes for weak people. How many truly great individuals do you know who never had to struggle?

Elder Maxwell has voiced this concern when he said: “A few of our wonderful youth and young adults in the Church are unstretched. They have almost a free pass. Perks are provided, including cars complete with fuel and insurance—all paid for by parents who sometimes listen in vain for a few courteous and appreciative words. What is thus taken for granted … tends to underwrite selfishness and a sense of entitlement.” 5

A wise young mother said: “I choose not to give our children what I can afford to give them. I hold back for their sake.”

In the words of Fred Gosman, “Children who always get what they want will want as long as they live.” 6 And somewhere along the line it is important for the character development of our children to learn that “the earth still revolves around the sun” and not around them. 7 Rather, we should train our children to ask themselves the question, How is the world a better place because they are in it?

We live in a world of entertainment in full color with a lot of fast action, a world in which many children grow up thinking that if it isn’t fun, it is boring and not worthwhile. Even in family activities, we need to strike a balance between play and work. Some of my most memorable experiences while growing up centered around family activities: learning how to shingle a roof, build a fence, or working in the garden. Rather than being all work and no play, for many of our children it is almost all play and very little work.

As a consequence of overindulgence, many children leave homes ill-prepared to meet the real world. President Hinckley said: “Of course, we need to earn a living. The Lord told Adam that in the sweat of his face should he eat bread all the days of his life. It is important that we qualify ourselves to be self-reliant, particularly that every young man at the time of marriage be ready and able to assume the responsibilities of providing for his companion and for the children who may come to that home.” 8

All too many enter marriage who have never learned to cook, sew, or develop other important life skills. Ignorance of these needed skills, along with the lack of understanding of the management of money, sow the seeds for many failures in our children’s marriages.

I fear that in many cases we are rearing children who are slaves to expensive fads and fashions. Remember the scripture, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” 9 How do we determine where our treasure is? To do so, we need to evaluate the amount of time, money, and thought we devote to something. Might it not be well to evaluate how much focus we place on shopping and spending?

This does not mean that our children should not dress in some of the appropriate clothing that is in fashion because that can be very important to them. But they don’t need a closet full. As members of the Church, we have a responsibility to present ourselves in a well-groomed, attractive, and modest manner. With good planning, this can be done without being driven to spend extravagantly on our clothing.

More than 10 times, the prophets in the Book of Mormon warn us about the problems of pride related to the nature of our clothing. Here is one example of them: “And it came to pass … that the people of the church began to wax proud, because of their exceeding riches, and their fine silks, and their fine-twined linen. … in all these things were they lifted up in the pride of their eyes, for they began to wear very costly apparel.” 10

We would do well if in all these areas of material things we and our children would follow the oft-quoted motto of our pioneer forebears to “fix it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.”

[Traveler]

Our leaders encourage us to stick to the things we need and not wants. How do you distinguish between the two? Some people think cell phones are a need for safety reasons, although I don't own one and haven't been able to bring myself to buy one when we can't afford it. But boy, it was lame when I was 7 months pregnant and my tire blew out at 1am on the freeway. But luckily, there were two cops right behind me who immediately came to my rescue. At that point, I was more concerned about my full bladder than anything (no bushes anywhere), but I would've been very worried to be sitting there wondering if the first person to offer help would be a psycho.

We are expecting our 4th child and are in a two bedroom apartment. Would you say we "need" a three bedroom? Some people say no, but there is an occupancy law and our manager could give us 30 days notice to move out if he decided to.

What things do you consider wants and needs?

I consider the things that the L-rd provides for me to be my needs - the things I provide for myself, my family and my friends - I consider to be our wants. I believe it is proper to pray concerning both our needs and our wants. I also believe that we should desire or want righteous things.

The Traveler

[NateHowe]

For us, two cell phones with a modest plan are cheaper than a land line with long distance charges.

Needs are, in a basic sense, those things which sustain life. Food, shelter, clothing, etc. I would add to those the following (not in any specific order):

1. Communication. Whether it is telephone service, internet, postage, or another form, communication with others (especially family) is vital.

2. Education. This includes books, tuition, and materials required to constantly improve one's mind.

3. Expression. Every person needs a way to release creative energy. This could be an art or craft hobby, musical practice, writing, or any number of other outlets. I would classify the materials required for these pursuits as necessities in moderation.

4. Substance to share. If we acquire and use only that which we need for ourselves, we will not be in a position to help anybody else. Giving to those in need (or those who would benefit, even if the need is not pressing) requires that we obtain extra to share.

5. Materials required to follow the counsel of the Prophet. For example, a computer is usually a requirement to do effective family history work. We may need shelving to store our year's supply of food. Obeying the commandment to serve as full-time missionaries requires money and specific items.

Add to these a few of our modest wants.

[WANDERER]

Everyone's needs are different. Medical, work and maintenance (car, house) come to mind as other expenses I would put down as needs at this time. It's not that you don't need regular dental care to avoid a costly fix-up and so that interpersonal communication at work isn't problematic...I think it should be a need ; ) . Our lives are far more complex than food, shelter and clothing to protects us against the elements and to keep us healthy. So if you just keep it to a basic standard of health..you have your basic needs.

A cheap and basic mobile phone on prepay may be a need (let's face it, phone booths are a dying community service and in any emergency situation they come in handy)...a flashy one is a want and so is an expensive mobile plan.

I think it's probably worthwile to categorise needs with what is vital and to have backup or rollback plans for emergency or set-back situations as part of your preparedness plan...cause that's when your basic needs are going to be higher and your usual needs are going to shift to wants. When you can't pay your bills or there's no food then dental care and mobile phones are going to be a tad lush. So basic priority needs, priority needs and then wants. A want ...well if you sacrifice needs for a want you're out of balance.

[MorningStar]

I keep thinking about this welcome mat I wanted years ago. It had a pretty design of blue and green leaves and I kept looking at it for months. It was about $12, but I wouldn't buy it. Then our anniversary came and my husband lied and said he didn't get me anything and would I please buy myself something while I'm out (he thinks I don't treat myself enough). I figured he was full of it, but I went out and bought the mat. He had actually bought me some pretty little oil candle lamps. The mat was pretty, but people wipe their feet on it and now it looks like crap. I think about that when there's something I really want.

[NateHowe]

Making our houses beautiful is a need which we fulfill with some of our modest wants. I'm glad you got your doormat.

[Palerider]

I keep thinking about this welcome mat I wanted years ago. It had a pretty design of blue and green leaves and I kept looking at it for months. It was about $12, but I wouldn't buy it. Then our anniversary came and my husband lied and said he didn't get me anything and would I please buy myself something while I'm out (he thinks I don't treat myself enough). I figured he was full of it, but I went out and bought the mat. He had actually bought me some pretty little oil candle lamps. The mat was pretty, but people wipe their feet on it and now it looks like crap. I think about that when there's something I really want.

is that mat like furniture we buy for that room no one is allowed to sit in or on the furniture.....

[MorningStar]

is that mat like furniture we buy for that room no one is allowed to sit in or on the furniture.....

It should've been. It would still be beautiful today.

[Traveler]

The discussion becomes different and helps us understand how wants and needs affect us if money is not a limiting factor. Some believe that all our wants can be fulfilled with money. The greatest problem with wants (even blessings and divine relationships) is that it feeds the natural tendency towards selfishness.

I do not believe that a want for someone else that has no relation to some self desire should ever be considered to be evil. It is so ease to become prideful and place our self above others because of feeding selfish wants even if we can define such wants as needs.

The Traveler

[Hemidakota]

Our leaders encourage us to stick to the things we need and not wants. How do you distinguish between the two? Some people think cell phones are a need for safety reasons, although I don't own one and haven't been able to bring myself to buy one when we can't afford it. But boy, it was lame when I was 7 months pregnant and my tire blew out at 1am on the freeway. But luckily, there were two cops right behind me who immediately came to my rescue. At that point, I was more concerned about my full bladder than anything (no bushes anywhere), but I would've been very worried to be sitting there wondering if the first person to offer help would be a psycho.

We are expecting our 4th child and are in a two bedroom apartment. Would you say we "need" a three bedroom? Some people say no, but there is an occupancy law and our manager could give us 30 days notice to move out if he decided to.

What things do you consider wants and needs?

Home ownership is not a need anymore since we are facing a change soon to our earth's state. Even as our family looking at what is really important in this life, we are already making those necessary changes to make our lives gospel focused vice being in the world.

Excellent post...

[aspen]

I found this on an article I was reading this morning and thought it could add some insight. Here's a link to the article if you want to check it out.

 https://scripturenotes.com/how-do-i-meet-the-wants-and-needs-of-others

D&C 82:17 17. And you are to be equal, or in other words, you are to have equal claims on the properties, for the benefit of managing the concerns of your stewardships, every man according to his wants and his needs, inasmuch as his wants are just—

How do we determine if wants are just? In briefly analyzing this, I thought it would be helpful to visualize it this way.

 

 

 

Edited May 11, 2020 by aspen

[Vort]

Just now, aspen said:

I found this on an article I was reading this morning and thought it could add some insight. Here's a link to the article if you want to check it out.

 https://scripturenotes.com/how-do-i-meet-the-wants-and-needs-of-others

D&C 82:17 17. And you are to be equal, or in other words, you are to have equal claims on the properties, for the benefit of managing the concerns of your stewardships, every man according to his wants and his needs, inasmuch as his wants are just—

How do we determine if wants are just? In briefly analyzing this, I thought it would be helpful to visualize it this way.

scripture notes wants and needs.webp

This is not what "wants" means. The original idea of "want" was "lack", and "to be in want" means "to lack".

What does it mean to be in want of something? "I am in want of food." Does that mean that you just want some food, because, you know, it's been three hours since you last ate? Of course not. "To be in want" means that you lack something that you need, not something you merely (in today's speech) want.

When the scriptures speak of being in want and having your "wants and needs" met, they are not saying that you should get whatever you want. They are talking about when you lack something necessary.

tl;dr "A want" is a need, not merely something you desire.

[anatess2]

22 minutes ago, Vort said:

tl;dr "A want" is a need, not merely something you desire.

A perfect illustration of this is the food cravings of a pregnant woman.  A lot of times, people see pregnant women wanting a green mango at 2am as simply a desire/want with no basis to her need and promptly ignore the craving.  Usually, though, a pregnant woman craves (wants) what her body needs to support the development of the fetus.  So, in figuring out whether your want is just - you're going to have to figure out what you want that thing for.

So back to the cellphone example - my children have had cellphones since they were in elementary school.  Their cellphones are equipped with GPS that allows me to know exactly where they are at a given moment (a lot more useful than Mrs. Weasley's magical clock) which is the reason we equipped them with it.   Now, if the reason why we equipped them with cellphones in elementary school is so that they can fulfill their need to keep up with the Joneses then that would be a completely different want.

Edited May 11, 2020 by anatess2

[Carborendum]

On 5/11/2020 at 9:49 AM, Vort said:

This is not what "wants" means. The original idea of "want" was "lack", and "to be in want" means "to lack".

What does it mean to be in want of something? "I am in want of food." Does that mean that you just want some food, because, you know, it's been three hours since you last ate? Of course not. "To be in want" means that you lack something that you need, not something you merely (in today's speech) want.

When the scriptures speak of being in want and having your "wants and needs" met, they are not saying that you should get whatever you want. They are talking about when you lack something necessary.

tl;dr "A want" is a need, not merely something you desire.

Not mutually exclusive  Want is a lack.  Correct.  But we can lack things that are not necessarily needs.  Hence the phrase "shall want for nothing."

If we ignore the "wants" which are not "needs" then the following statement doesn't make much sense.

Quote

every man according to his wants and his needs, inasmuch as his wants are just