I'm Giving Up


HoosierGuy
 Share

Recommended Posts

I can't take this anymore. I'm giving up. No, I'm not leaving the Church or stop going to services. I'm giving up on something else.

If I disappeared off the face of the earth I doubt anybody would notice. So, why not disappear? It would probably make some people happy anyway!

President Monson said - ... As we survey the challenges of life, that which is easy is rarely right. In fact, the course that we should properly follow appears at times impossible, impenetrable, hopeless.”

Impossible? Yep. Impenetrable? Oh yes. Hopeless? Seems so. But at least I'm not lonely. Oh wait, I am!

I think the Circus will go on without me. I doubt if any of the performers would miss me. I doubt if the audience would miss me. Maybe the paymaster would miss me. Then again, he would probably say - "I'm glad he's gone. He was nothing but a whiner anyway. Not worth his check."

Maybe the lions would miss me - they always look at me as a possible future meal. Then again - out of sight out of mind; and that is so true.

And it is true for me, unfortunately - out of sight, out of mind. And the world keeps going on.

Yep. I'm not in a good mood. I feel horrible. More horrible than you know. And the above is the best I can say right now. But if anybody wants to knock me upside the head with a sledgehammer, feel free to do it. Out of sight, out of mind.

Sorry for the negative post.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't take this anymore. I'm giving up. No, I'm not leaving the Church or stop going to services. I'm giving up on something else.

If I disappeared off the face of the earth I doubt anybody would notice. So, why not disappear? It would probably make some people happy anyway!

President Monson said - ... As we survey the challenges of life, that which is easy is rarely right. In fact, the course that we should properly follow appears at times impossible, impenetrable, hopeless.”

Impossible? Yep. Impenetrable? Oh yes. Hopeless? Seems so. But at least I'm not lonely. Oh wait, I am!

I think the Circus will go on without me. I doubt if any of the performers would miss me. I doubt if the audience would miss me. Maybe the paymaster would miss me. Then again, he would probably say - "I'm glad he's gone. He was nothing but a whiner anyway. Not worth his check."

Maybe the lions would miss me - they always look at me as a possible future meal. Then again - out of sight out of mind; and that is so true.

And it is true for me, unfortunately - out of sight, out of mind. And the world keeps going on.

Yep. I'm not in a good mood. I feel horrible. More horrible than you know. And the above is the best I can say right now. But if anybody wants to knock me upside the head with a sledgehammer, feel free to do it. Out of sight, out of mind.

Sorry for the negative post.

I would notice and I would miss you. So would a lot of others too- and not just from this forum either.

It is good to vent- this is a good place to do it too- nearly everyone here has good strong shoulders to lift you up.

:bearhug:{{{{{huggers}}}}}

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hoosier:

What brought this on? Are you feeling better now?

I assure you, you are not alone. Feeling alone does not mean you ARE alone. It means you perceive yourself to be isolated in some fashion, or have isolated yourself in some fashion. But perceptions can be incorrect.

The Lord understands what we are going through. Go to Him. Talk to Him as you would your Best Friend. Suprisingly, this is difficult for many people to do. I include myself in this. We grow up with so many "false traditions" concerning Christ...what kind of Being He really is!!!

In many instances, the Lord is the ONLY Person who understands what we are going through!

In other words,

2 Ne. 4: 34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

Jer. 17: 5 Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord.

2 Ne. 28: 31 Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of men, save their precepts shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost.

What these verses are saying is -- relying on other people to give you comfort or peace or guidance will result in our being disappointed in some fashion!! Why? Because they are not God. They cannot see into our true hearts and know how to meet our actual needs -- needs that may be hidden from even ourselves. But God, who made us, knows the thoughts and intents of the heart! He knows just how to succor us (render aid) according to our needs and wants. But we need to be open-minded. We need to be patient. And we need to be obedient to the counsel we receive and grateful for it.

I hope you find yourself in better spirits today. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guarantee people would be devastated if you were gone. A loved one of mine gets very, very lonely and she was blown away at the birthday tribute I wrote for her. She had no idea I admired her in so many ways, but that's how everyone feels about her! It's hard to see sometimes all our wonderful qualities, but we all have them. No one can replace you. Everyone I have lost in some way has left a space that can't be filled and that's how unique everyone is.

You have me worried. Please don't give up. Maybe a blessing would help you right now? Those help me so much during my worst times.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi hoosier

Please keep writing. I have been in a dark place myself lately, writing those feelings can help you get through it. You may feel that noone would miss you, but have you thought that heavenly father has you where you are for a reason and he would miss you help and talants that only you have. I have really, really challenging neighbors on either side of me and somethimes think why couldn't i just have had neighbors that were low maintanence. But we are told to grow where we are planted sometimes the soil isn't very good and the circimstances are difficult. You have something to offer that you may not even be aware of. Keep writing your feelings it does help. Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know, Hoosier, just yesterday after reading one of your responses, I thought how much I liked your posts. I am sorry that I have not let you know that. I enjoy what you have to say, and often it coincides with my feelings.

I woke up today in a "funk"...do not know why. Just a down time, I guess. While everyone does need alone time, it is not healthy to totally withdraw from people or life. So, please do not disconnect; you have friends here that would love to listen to you, talk with you, help you get through this. My prayers and love are with you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hoosier Guy, I haven't posted much to you in the past but I still remember reading thru your first thread, about how you wanted to start coming to church, your first meeting with the Missionaries etc. I was just returning to the church at that time and I was so impressed by how well you were doing with reading the scriptures and what not.

I hope that you can overcome whatever sadness has caused you to feel so down and unloved, I hope that your family, friends, people you meet at church and on this site can help you to overcome those feelings..as others have said, we all have a need to vent sometimes, we all have times when we feel down, isolated or other bad feelings, share them with us and give us a chance to help heal you..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We all have our days. We all have days we want to totally have a "poor pity me party." I have them quite often.

Hoosier I just adore you. To say no one would miss you..well..it's just not true.

I wish I had your spirit...your testimony of the gospel for one so newly baptized. You never ceased to amaze me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel for you Hoosier!!

All my life I suffered with severe depression. I got to a point in my life where I was convinced no one needed me, my kids (grown) were so messed up and didn't want my help, and I certainly didn't feel like I had anything to offer this world. I KNEW I wouldn't be missed. I tried hard to end my life -- I should have died -- Heavenly Father had other plans for me. Heavenly Father sent angels (my sisters) to my side and showed me how much I was loved. My sisters who have been members for a very long time arranged a Priesthood blessing for me. I felt Jesus' love for me and discovered my worth. What a blessing!! The last 4 years since my baptism have been filled with much healing, both of my spirit and my mind. I haven't been on any depression medication since baptism.

Are all my days rosy? No, but I know I'm loved and that was what was missing all those years. I am a child of God had become just a nice phrase somewhere along the way. When I realized the full meaning of that phrase it made all the difference in my life.

Heavenly Father loves you!!! He sent his only Begotten -- the plan of salvation -- because He loves YOU! Are you worth it? ABSOLUTELY!!!:D

A sidenote -- after my baptism, I fasted and prayed for my children and put their names in at the Temple -- they are both doing great these days. Blessings!:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hoosier I haven't been on here for a while but I have enjoyed your posts in the past and felt so uplifted by your spirit. This evening I have been doing my last minute studyiing of the lesson I'm teaching tomorrow and one point which jumped out at me from the lesson when I read your first post in this thread was how Satan tries to convince us that we are unworthy and tries to separate us from Heavenly Father's love. When we feel really low he gets in there and works on us. Sometimes others around us see a perfectly happy individual who may be falling apart inside.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, I feel ok. I've realized that when I feel bad and depressed, I feel like giving up. When I say to myself - "I give up", then my mind and soul stops fighting sinful temptations. I think Satan wants me to feel depressed so that I will stop fighting sinful temptations.

I guess I'm in a big battle with Satan. I know Heavenly Father and Jesus are on my side and with me always.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<<snip>>

I guess I'm in a big battle with Satan. I know Heavenly Father and Jesus are on my side and with me always.

Satan lost you to the other team and it has him really pissed. That is what I tell myself when I get hit with the Why Me, and the Is It All Really Worth It's?

I rejoined the other team - the Lord's team for a reason. For those days when it is really hard for me to remember the reasons - I bought myself a CTR ring. NOW, I can look at it and the Reasons are clearer.

Glad to hear you are doing better - These blindsides from satan will continue for a while. Eventually they will slow to a mere trickle as your spiritual strength increases. Once you are aware of where they come from, you will find that it is easier to shuck it off.

Hoosier- when you feel this way again. Kneel in prayer and in the name of Jesus Christ, banish it from you. You have that power- it is the gift of the Holy Ghost. Banish the adversary from you - if you don't feel comfortable doing this, then get on the phone, call your EQ president, church buddies, missionaries, and/or Bishop and tell them you need a blessing to banish the adversary - STAT.

We love you, you are our brother in Christ. Like Pushka said, let us all know sooner and we will rally round you and carry you if need be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so terrible. Remember that in Ether it says, "Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea even a place at the right hand of God. Which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men..."

A relative of mine killed herself. She believed no one cared, and that she was alone. I've never seen or experienced so much suffering that came from it. At her funeral, the chapel was packed full of people who cared about her. Elder Holland spoke at the funeral, and reminded us that, "We live in a telestial world." That's why that scripture is so important to remember. Our time here is short, and we CAN hope for a better world, because through Jesus Christ there is a better world to hope for. It is real, and it is much better than the world we live in now. If you can hang on through the terrible storm here, you will find yourself resting from your labors someday, and will be in a "better world--" much better than this difficult place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share