LDS Baptisim Question

[Aloren]

My possible set date for baptism is Nov 15th and I am ok with that date because for the most part in my heart I have made my choice but I wont get into the details... if you want to read about all that go to this Blog post Blogs » new journey » LDS Mormon Network

Anyway my friend told me there are requirements and an interview... basically the same things req to be temple worthy. I think I get the basic ones but I don't meet one of the ones he mentioned and I wanted another opinion. He said that I could not be living with anyone. Right now I live with a roommate who is disabled and while we tried to date it did not work out. Now I just live there with him to help him up in since he is disabled and his parents and friends can not do it all the time. We are not sleeping together and there is nothing romantic between us at all. Is it just because he is male and the church does not agree with that or what? I really want to get baptized but I can not financially afford to move out of this place right now. I am currently behind on car payments and I need to get new insurance and the baby needs daycare and at the same time I am looking for a job and caring for the baby. I have only been in Utah for two months so far and am just having a hard time adjusting and getting settled since I was barely scraping by in Texas before. I love it here though =)

Any advice would be appreciated

Edited October 25, 2008 by Aloren
Update title of thread

[Elgama]

I would talk it over with your Bishop - hopefully he will be understanding, and he will have the inspiration to help you.

-Charley

[MarginOfError]

Generally speaking, the Church discourages cohabitation. However, the Church teaches principles to be followed in ideal situations and leaves it up to individuals to make good choices that fit their personal circumstances. The Bishop also has the authority to advise and counsel those in his ward, so you should talk with him as soon as possible, as well as with the missionaries about your situation. These are the people that can work with you to determine if you are worthy* for baptism--everyone here will only be able to share general counsel or anecdotal advice.

* I'm not sure 'worthy' is the best term to use here. I considered 'prepared,' 'fit,' and 'qualified,' but none of them seemed quite right either. Please understand that I am not trying to pass any judgment on your worthiness.

[HiJolly]

I would talk it over with your Bishop - hopefully he will be understanding, and he will have the inspiration to help you.

-Charley

Usually it is *we* who need the faith to follow the counsel given....

HiJolly

[Bethie]

I'm in a similar situation and I've received all kinds of answers on this forum, from "oh, it's fine" to "no way can you be baptized". I have been an investigator for about three years now, and I love the Church and would join in a minute.

But I have a male housemate (not romantic at all) and so I've heard that I am "unqualified" to be a member. That seems so silly to me! We are both seniors and I'm retired and could not live on my own finanacially. I imagine in our economy now, we will see more and more of older (and younger) people sharing a home.

Anyway, he just bought a home and so we will be moving to a new ward. I will call the missionaries to come visit and see how it goes from there. I've never talked to a Bishop, but I guess it may be my next step.

I've been told by many who know me, that I "seem more LDS" than members they know. I take a BYU adult education class at my local stake and everyone treats me "like one of them".

I love when they call me "sister". So I am praying that my hope and dream of baptism will come true. I will be praying for you too! God Bless!!!

Edited October 21, 2008 by Bethie

[tubaloth]

He said that I could not be living with anyone.

Yes that is correct.

Any advice would be appreciated

There really isn’t much that can be giving in this type of situation. The line is pretty clear here. I guess if we are looking for away around this there really isn’t one. If the house you are at had two entrences and the living space was sepearted (like one lived upstairs and one lived downstairs) then this is okay. But I don’t think that falls into your category at this time.

Now maybe there is a ward family you can move in with, there is still some rules there. That is still an option (even though that leaves your friend in the cold so to speak).

I would talk it over with your Bishop - hopefully he will be understanding, and he will have the inspiration to help you.

This would not go through the bishop at this point in time. This would go through the missionaires and the Mission Preisdent first. (If she was already a member then it would be a bishop thing).

The Mission Priesdent might get the bishop envolved, but for now it goes through the Mission Priesident, which should be more then happy to talk to you about this.

[Islander]

I'm in a similar situation and I've received all kinds of answers on this forum, from "oh, it's fine" to "no way can you be baptized". I have been an investigator for about three years now, and I love the Church and would join in a minute.

But I have a male housemate (not romantic at all) and so I've heard that I am "unqualified" to be a member. That seems so silly to me! We are both seniors and I'm retired and could not live on my own finanacially. I imagine in our economy now, we will see more and more of older (and younger) people sharing a home.

Anyway, he just bought a home and so we will be moving to a new ward. I will call the missionaries to come visit and see how it goes from there. I've never talked to a Bishop, but I guess it may be my next step.

I've been told by many who know me, that I "seem more LDS" than members they know. I take a BYU adult education class at my local stake and everyone treats me "like one of them".

I love when they call me "sister". So I am praying that my hope and dream of baptism will come true. I will be praying for you too! God Bless!!!

I am sorry sister that you have received such a wide range of responses on the issue. Without questioning the situation at hand, the only truly qualified person to give you counsel on this issue would be your Bishop. With all due respect, I would disregard all other comments and would not delay any further in inquiring on this matter from your Priesthood leader.

[MarginOfError]

This would not go through the bishop at this point in time. This would go through the missionaires and the Mission Preisdent first. (If she was already a member then it would be a bishop thing).

I'm quite aware of this technicality, actually. That is precisely why I recommended she talk to the missionaries and the bishop. The missionaries will open a dialog with the mission president, and the bishop should be aware of such situations as they arise within the ward. The bishop is not only called as the spiritual and temporal steward of the members of his ward, but all of the people that fall within the boundaries of the ward. And as the person who would be responsible for her spiritual well being following the baptism, he should be involved in these discussions.

However, I didn't really feel it was necessary to go into the technicalities of Church government with Aloren at this point.

[tubaloth]

The bishop is not only called as the spiritual and temporal steward of the members of his ward, but all of the people that fall within the boundaries of the ward.

I agree, but this is not a decision the bishop makes (who joints the church or not) this falls on the Mission Presidents shoulders. (thats what he is called to do).

My point was to clarify to the soon new member in thinking the bishop can make the final call. The Bishop could offer any advice, and really the advice would be to talk to the mission president. I was just trying to make that clear.

[Aloren]

Thank you all for the feedback. I think I will ask my missionaries next time we meet which should be Thursday. They came to the place I stay to talk to me and said nothing about that. So perhaps they do not know that it is an issue. I will bring it up and see what they say and perhaps they can help me go from there.

[Guest tomk]

Aloren:

I'm too late posting to this thread to give much in the way of advice.

I just want to say -- how moved I am by your compassion ... by your desire to help this young man even though the romantic aspect did not work-out.

Because of your love for this young man, I think you are uniquely positioned to receive some of the Lord's richest blessings as you strive to obey His commandments. Not all of the Lord's commandments are easy to live. For example, right now my wife and I are struggling big time with paying a full tithe. I myself have suffered from an addiction to pornography and masturbation for over 20 years, and have just recently began to find some relief through God's grace. But the Lord still loves me, and is working with me, and each day my heart softens a little bit more. As long as I don't give-up ... the Lord will not give-up on me.

Pray for courage to obey. Pray for perspective. We are always blessed for our obedience. It is a fundamental law of heaven. But not all blessings are revealed in this life.

Good luck,

Tom

[pushka]

This might not sound too great, coming from a newly Baptised member of the church, but I find myself having to ask over and over again, where is the trust? Why can these 2 people not co-habitate in the same way that 2 people of the same sex can, not as a couple but as roommates only? This is one of my major issues with the church, the perceived assumption that somebody is going to commit a sin if they're left alone together and happen to be of the opposite gender...

Sorry, it just gets my gall!

[Aloren]

That is ok Tom =) I like to hear from you anyway =P You always have something inspiring and positive to say and that in and of its self is a blessing.

[BenRaines]

As others have said. Ask the Bishop or if you are investigating the church as the Mission President. No one else is qualified to answer that question for you.

Ben Raines

[ztodd]

This might not sound too great, coming from a newly Baptised member of the church, but I find myself having to ask over and over again, where is the trust? Why can these 2 people not co-habitate in the same way that 2 people of the same sex can, not as a couple but as roommates only? This is one of my major issues with the church, the perceived assumption that somebody is going to commit a sin if they're left alone together and happen to be of the opposite gender...

Sorry, it just gets my gall!

It's not an issue of trust pushka, it's an issue of avoiding the appearance of evil, and not putting yourself in a situation where there is temptation. No matter how strong you are, if you put yourself in harm's way, you will be weakened, and sometime when your guard is down you might find yourself in a situation you never thought you would allow yourself to be in. It's not because you're not trusted.

[Aloren]

Well last time my Missionaries came over they said they would talk to the mission president on my behalf. They came today for a meeting and lessons and they had the great news that the mission president approved me getting baptized even though I live with my disabled roommate/friend.

I am so happy and I feel as if all my prayers about it were not just answered by God but by the church as well. My heart is just so full of joy for the things I am learning and the gifts of God I will be a part of when I am baptized. I feel as if even now my life is taking on such a meaning and peace. I so enjoy study with the BoM and the missionaries. They always make me feel so good about myself when they get shocked by the about of effort I have made in extra research and study. They get to go into way more depth of subject since I already learned much on my own and ask more pointed and informed questions. They say that I am "on fire" and are impressed by it and I thank God for giving me an intelligence for research and grasping complex ideas. I feel proud when they are able to give me chapters to read that are extra than usual and I am finding so much more truth in BoM than I would have ever guessed. I truly believe LSD is the true church and they hold Gods true plan for his spirit children.

I hope that my wonderful news can cheer anyone who reads it. =D

[Hemidakota]

Actually, it will be your Mission President that will make that determination. You will need to ask him about this issue. Just be forth right and honest. Turning the tables for a second, his own conciliated advice to you, I would expect for him to remember the brethren teaching at the MCT concerning this issue.

Aloren, have faith in the Savior, that all will work out in the end in seeing your own baptismal date be forefilled. Just remember, you have chosen a marvelous path to eternal life.

[RainofGold]

Aloren,

I am very happy for you, you'll never forget this special day. Remember to write in your journal everything that happens that day. Your feelings and the talks given that day. Is a very special day and you want to remember it for ever. Hope you can share your experience with us later.

Rainofgold

[pushka]

Aloren, if it's correct that your baptism is going to be allowed in spite of your living arrangements then I am very happy for you!

Ztodd, thanks for your reply to my comment, I'm afraid I just don't see 2 people who happen to be of the opposite sex sharing a house, as friends not as in a relationship, as being the appearance of evil and I would hope that their faith in the religion they are following would help them to overcome any temptation that may arise in this situation or any other..thanks tho, I think your reply was the 'standard' reply I was expecting to get :)

[ztodd]

Aloren, if it's correct that your baptism is going to be allowed in spite of your living arrangements then I am very happy for you!

Ztodd, thanks for your reply to my comment, I'm afraid I just don't see 2 people who happen to be of the opposite sex sharing a house, as friends not as in a relationship, as being the appearance of evil and I would hope that their faith in the religion they are following would help them to overcome any temptation that may arise in this situation or any other..thanks tho, I think your reply was the 'standard' reply I was expecting to get :)

The standard answers we get to gospel questions are often the correct answers. Seek not to counsel your God or His servants. Although you don't see it as the appearance of evil, there are others who would. It sets a bad example.

You shouldn't place yourself in harm's way hoping that your faith will save you, thinking that you will be strong enough. I'm not accusing you... it's not that I don't think you personally are strong enough- it's just the general principle that if we let ourselves go up against temptation for too long, it will weaken our resolve and our values.

[ztodd]

Well last time my Missionaries came over they said they would talk to the mission president on my behalf. They came today for a meeting and lessons and they had the great news that the mission president approved me getting baptized even though I live with my disabled roommate/friend.

I am so happy and I feel as if all my prayers about it were not just answered by God but by the church as well. My heart is just so full of joy for the things I am learning and the gifts of God I will be a part of when I am baptized. I feel as if even now my life is taking on such a meaning and peace. I so enjoy study with the BoM and the missionaries. They always make me feel so good about myself when they get shocked by the about of effort I have made in extra research and study. They get to go into way more depth of subject since I already learned much on my own and ask more pointed and informed questions. They say that I am "on fire" and are impressed by it and I thank God for giving me an intelligence for research and grasping complex ideas. I feel proud when they are able to give me chapters to read that are extra than usual and I am finding so much more truth in BoM than I would have ever guessed. I truly believe LSD is the true church and they hold Gods true plan for his spirit children.

I hope that my wonderful news can cheer anyone who reads it. =D

It certainly does! Congratulations, great to have you "join the fold"!

Keep on learning and drawing closer to Heavenly Father every day through faith and obedience, listening and following His Spirit, and you'll find your joy increasing beyond imagination.

[melissar]

Congratulations! Be sure to write down your feelings that day in your journal. Reading it later can strengthen you spiritually.

[Bethie]

Aloren,

Yippeeeeee! Congratulations! I am SO happy for you and your success has encouraged me to call the missionaries as soon as we get moved. I hope the

missionary President in Salt Lake will be as open and understanding as yours.

Oh, you ARE in Salt Lake City aren't you?!! Yea! There may be hope for me then,

too. The CES class I take here in Cottonwood Hgts. is with the former SLC missionary President and he seems very open and loving and non-judgemental.

I really don't understand some of the comments I've read here while following this discussion.

Two people sharing a house "is the appearance of evil".???? That's kinda crazy. My housemate and I could be compared to "Donny and Marie" sharing a home. (for those who don't know, Donny and Marie are a famous LDS brother and sister singing duo from Provo, Utah). Would Donny and Marie sharing a house be "the appearance of evil". That seems kinda ridiculous to me.

Anyway, once we get moved I'll invite the missionaries, start going to the local ward, and get to meet all my wonderful new neighbors. It's a strongly LDS neighborhood. We will invite them over on Sunday nights for a quiet meditation and "get to know your neighbors" evening. And that should dispel any "appearance of evil" as we come to know each other and share our FOCUS on God, family and country.

Wow! This is all so exciting. I look forward to the adventure ahead for both of us!!!

[ztodd]

Aloren,

Yippeeeeee! Congratulations! I am SO happy for you and your success has encouraged me to call the missionaries as soon as we get moved. I hope the

missionary President in Salt Lake will be as open and understanding as yours.

Oh, you ARE in Salt Lake City aren't you?!! Yea! There may be hope for me then,

too. The CES class I take here in Cottonwood Hgts. is with the former SLC missionary President and he seems very open and loving and non-judgemental.

I really don't understand some of the comments I've read here while following this discussion.

Two people sharing a house "is the appearance of evil".???? That's kinda crazy. My housemate and I could be compared to "Donny and Marie" sharing a home. (for those who don't know, Donny and Marie are a famous LDS brother and sister singing duo from Provo, Utah). Would Donny and Marie sharing a house be "the appearance of evil". That seems kinda ridiculous to me.

Anyway, once we get moved I'll invite the missionaries, start going to the local ward, and get to meet all my wonderful new neighbors. It's a strongly LDS neighborhood. We will invite them over on Sunday nights for a quiet meditation and "get to know your neighbors" evening. And that should dispel any "appearance of evil" as we come to know each other and share our FOCUS on God, family and country.

Wow! This is all so exciting. I look forward to the adventure ahead for both of us!!!

Maybe I shouldn't have used that phrase since people take it the wrong way sometimes. I'm not passing judgment on anybody. I'm just saying it might be a bad example to others if they don't know you.

Of course it would be different for a brother and sister living together- I'm sure you know that.

Don't let the ramblings of an old fool like me stop you from learning more about the gospel. :) I'm really glad you'll be meeting up with the missionaries!

[eternalpromise516]

aloren,

that is awesome to hear about your baptism, which is in about two weeks!! congratulations!!! i had been following this, and just now read the great news.

i was also supposed to be baptized this month, but my bishop and i are still working on the repentance process and just working to get myself where i need to be before i am, so...hopefully december :)

please keep us updated and be sure to post many pictures of the big day congrats again sister!!

-Laura