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Gatsby

How long does it take to fall in love with someone?

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Please, I must know. Ever since I was introduce to romance I've been pondering this question.

I don't believe in soul mates or love at first sight, that's just a bunch of non-sense. & don't say it takes a second or 5 minutes to fall in love, that's just unbelievable.

The reason I ask is because I think I've been in love once but I fell for the wrong gal. :weep: & I don't think as much as I want to that it was an illusion.

Anyhow, do the scriptures mention anything regarding this?

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I think you continue to fall in love with someone over a lifetime. I don't know of any scriptural references to help you out though. I do however believe that you can just know the instant you see someone. I'm not saying love at first sight, because you can't love someone you don't know. But the first time I even heard my husband's name there was something special about it. Then I met him for the first time and I knew that we would end up together (even though he was dating my best friend at the time!)

But I'm still falling in love with him. The longer we're together, the more we get to know each other and find out about each other, even the more children we have together makes me love him more. We only dated for 3 weeks before he proposed. Were we taking a risk? Definitely! But we both knew it was right, and we've both grown to love each other more every day. I think it takes more than a lifetime to completely fall in love, what's important is if you both know it's right and if you are BOTH willing to work at making the love grow.

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I think you continue to fall in love with someone over a lifetime. I don't know of any scriptural references to help you out though. I do however believe that you can just know the instant you see someone. I'm not saying love at first sight, because you can't love someone you don't know. But the first time I even heard my husband's name there was something special about it. Then I met him for the first time and I knew that we would end up together (even though he was dating my best friend at the time!)

But I'm still falling in love with him. The longer we're together, the more we get to know each other and find out about each other, even the more children we have together makes me love him more. We only dated for 3 weeks before he proposed. Were we taking a risk? Definitely! But we both knew it was right, and we've both grown to love each other more every day. I think it takes more than a lifetime to completely fall in love, what's important is if you both know it's right and if you are BOTH willing to work at making the love grow.

Wow! That is extremely fast! I assume both of you were active members of the church.

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I think the Spencer W Kimball quote sums it up

"'Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price."

I have always liked and admired my husband the passionate love came about after we were married because I treasure the fact he is an incredibly good, kind, decent man, a husband who adores me and a fantastic Dad. And everytime he does something that reminds me of that the love grows.

I got into a lot of trouble with people before my marriage because I said I liked him and that was more important than love, love was just to get me through the times I didn't like him very much - even my Stake President at the time wavered over the living ordinance recommend because he said there needed to be chemistry. Well now after 6 years there is bags of chemistry and I do not understand people that say the love becomes more comfortable over time for me it becomes more exciting

I have scriptures about love and I don't think the love you have for your spouse should be anything other than Christlike - but not sure they answer your question

-Charley

Edited by Elgama

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Agree with everyone's response.

My experience: I was preparing for a mission and doing all the good things in life to bring spiritual enlightenment. Then wham bam..... my husband to be turned, up to a YSA convention (something he normally wouldn't do because he can't stand YSA behaviour, so he was even inspired)... anyway... he walked into the chapel courtyard, I saw him and then this overwhelming feeling came over me and I knew in my heart that we would be together forever. I walked into the bathroom with my friends and told them of my revelation... and they laughed at me... considering the situation and that my husband to be had everyone's eye on him as a prospective husband. Was it emotion? NO, it was a burning in my bosom. It was a straight communication from the Holy Ghost of the direction my life was going to take. It was a positive feeling that kick started me into a different way of thinking (as opposed to preparing to serve a mission). So love at first sight.... I think not.... personal revelation?? Yes!!

I also believe that love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is commitment in the face of turmoil, kindness in the face of rudeness, endurance in the face of exhaustion, and the list goes on. As one continues on the path of true love and manifesting it through their actions, they see the grandness of their eternal companion unfold before them. I am the recipient of a kind and loving Heavenly Father who placed my wonderful husband on a silver platter in front of my eyes. I have seen us evolve into more loving human beings than I could have ever imagined. I realise now how many faults I had when we were first married, and can attest to a very patient husband who has moulded me with the love in his hands and helped me to become an elect lady... and continue on that evolution. True Love is a grand thing and I am ever so grateful for a husband who has lived it in word and deed.

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I think the Spencer W Kimball quote sums it up

"'Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price."

I have always liked and admired my husband the passionate love came about after we were married because I treasure the fact he is an incredibly good, kind, decent man, a husband who adores me and a fantastic Dad. And everytime he does something that reminds me of that the love grows.

I got into a lot of trouble with people before my marriage because I said I liked him and that was more important than love, love was just to get me through the times I didn't like him very much - even my Stake President at the time wavered over the living ordinance recommend because he said there needed to be chemistry. Well now after 6 years there is bags of chemistry and I do not understand people that say the love becomes more comfortable over time for me it becomes more exciting

I have scriptures about love and I don't think the love you have for your spouse should be anything other than Christlike - but not sure they answer your question

-Charley

-Charley

That ought to be the most intelligent quote I ever heard from a general authority regarding romantic relationships. I almost got into a debate with a female friend over this. She believed in soul mates, I didn't. I assume she was naive since she was a senior in high school.

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Agree with everyone's response.

My experience: I was preparing for a mission and doing all the good things in life to bring spiritual enlightenment. Then wham bam..... my husband to be turned, up to a YSA convention (something he normally wouldn't do because he can't stand YSA behaviour, so he was even inspired)... anyway... he walked into the chapel courtyard, I saw him and then this overwhelming feeling came over me and I knew in my heart that we would be together forever. I walked into the bathroom with my friends and told them of my revelation... and they laughed at me... considering the situation and that my husband to be had everyone's eye on him as a prospective husband. Was it emotion? NO, it was a burning in my bosom. It was a straight communication from the Holy Ghost of the direction my life was going to take. It was a positive feeling that kick started me into a different way of thinking (as opposed to preparing to serve a mission). So love at first sight.... I think not.... personal revelation?? Yes!!

I also believe that love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is commitment in the face of turmoil, kindness in the face of rudeness, endurance in the face of exhaustion, and the list goes on. As one continues on the path of true love and manifesting it through their actions, they see the grandness of their eternal companion unfold before them. I am the recipient of a kind and loving Heavenly Father who placed my wonderful husband on a silver platter in front of my eyes. I have seen us evolve into more loving human beings than I could have ever imagined. I realise now how many faults I had when we were first married, and can attest to a very patient husband who has moulded me with the love in his hands and helped me to become an elect lady... and continue on that evolution. True Love is a grand thing and I am ever so grateful for a husband who has lived it in word and deed.

I also agree with that sentence. I also believe that real love is unconditional.

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I'm surprised at everyone's replys. Non LDS people tell me it takes time. months-years (6 months at least, romantic love is indeed the strangest thing around) to fall in love and here I'm reading something different. I wonder why? I still wish to know.

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That ought to be the most intelligent quote I ever heard from a general authority regarding romantic relationships. I almost got into a debate with a female friend over this. She believed in soul mates, I didn't. I assume she was naive since she was a senior in high school.

well I kind of got commanded via a blessing to marry my husband lol - I was told within a week I would know, and I did, problem being we were both dating other people and lived 1000s of miles apart. Love wasn't something we had time to consider so I clung onto that quote by Spencer W Kimball and one I remembered from a Young Womens President that Love + Friendship = Affection and that was the most important thing if you felt affection for someone life was a lot more pleasent and you never wanted to hurt them.

I go with the if you can treasure the good and beautiful things in a person love will grow - my husband and I have faced some huge massive trials in our married life incuding both of us having prolonged periods of illness, the love gets you through when the person is behaving oddly but liking a person is so much more important because its what makes imo the good bits great.

-Charley

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And the amazing thing is..... when you make a choice to love... then your feelings swell within you anyway.... So the feelings are sort of like a sign of the love, but it isn't the love. If you know what I mean.

I perfectly understand what you mean.

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I think for others it can take time. As with spiritual vision (which we as members believe is developed through obedience) Love is a spiritual attribute. Whether is it love for the rest of our fellowman, or the special love that only spouse share as they become one in Christ. It is only developed through obedience. So from a non-lds perspective... it may take a couple a certain ammount of time to communicate and come to realisations in their lives about what they want to be and who they want ot be with. I can understand that perspective.

But once again... for LDS people, love is a form of communication. And if we are communicating it all of the time... when it is communicated to us.... we receive it instantly.

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I'm surprised at everyone's replys. Non LDS people tell me it takes time. months-years (6 months at least, romantic love is indeed the strangest thing around) to fall in love and here I'm reading something different. I wonder why? I still wish to know.

That's just the way it is in the collective. Sometime in the future, you will find your new unit and be 2 of 2.

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Wow! That is extremely fast! I assume both of you were active members of the church.

LOL Yep, it was very fast. And yes, we were both active members and still are. He had actually only been home from his mission for two months when he proposed. And for the month before that he was dating my best friend. But when it's right, it's right. Might as well just get the wedding over with and move on with our lives. I believe it all had to do with our daughter. I was pregnant with her within weeks of our marriage, I believe she was supposed to come at that specific time. :)

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Please, I must know. Ever since I was introduce to romance I've been pondering this question.

I don't believe in soul mates or love at first sight, that's just a bunch of non-sense. & don't say it takes a second or 5 minutes to fall in love, that's just unbelievable.

The reason I ask is because I think I've been in love once but I fell for the wrong gal. :weep: & I don't think as much as I want to that it was an illusion.

Anyhow, do the scriptures mention anything regarding this?

Love is an action...Therefore a choice. An anonymous quote I've heard is "The real love story begins at the altar." So use wisdom and the spirit! And when you've made your choice always treat that person the way you did when you were dating. There's my 2 cents. As for your specific question...I don't think anyone can answer that except to acknowledge that everyone has a different story. So who knows what yours will be! Good luck!

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I fell in love with the girl that I plan on marrying in about 2 weeks. We knew each other when we were younger, so that may have helped. But in that time I knew that I loved her because everything we talked about made sense to me. It felt right. I can't explain it any better then that. It is more then just attraction, there are deep feelings but I don't think they have to take forever to manifest.

I also believe that there is no limit to the amount of love you can feel for someone. At this point it is small but it will no doubt grow over time. It has the potential to grow infinitely as well as the potential to die.

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I fell in love with the girl that I plan on marrying in about 2 weeks.

Please tell me that you meant "It took us 2 weeks to fall in love" and not "We're getting married in 2 weeks." Checks, we need to talk..... :huh:

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Love is an action...Therefore a choice. An anonymous quote I've heard is "The real love story begins at the altar." So use wisdom and the spirit! And when you've made your choice always treat that person the way you did when you were dating. There's my 2 cents. As for your specific question...I don't think anyone can answer that except to acknowledge that everyone has a different story. So who knows what yours will be! Good luck!

I've come to that conclusion too. Oh well....

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It's different for everyone, and there are varying degrees of it. You can probably say that you "love" someone fairly early on, but it may only be a shadow of what is actually possible.

A romantic illusion, I know what you mean.

It's different for everybody indeed.

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I don't I'll think ever fall in love with someone in a short period of time, less than a year.

Besides being a sin, how does having sex before marriage affect the love you have for someone? Anybody know???

Edited by Gatsby

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I don't I'll ever fall in love with someone in a short period of time, less than a year.

Besides being a sin, how does having sex before marriage affect the love you have for someone? Anybody know???

OK I remember getting into trouble for this in an RS meeting but personally I believe that there is nothing better than knowing I have never cheated on my husband before or after we were married and he has never cheated on me. Its an extra special feeling knowing that you saved yourself and your partner saved themselves for you adds a depth to a relationship that if you have had sex with someone else before marriage you will never know. You can never get that back.

Not having sex with each other I believe allows you time to get to know each other on other levels which is important especially when illness, pregnancy and children hit.

-Charley

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OK I remember getting into trouble for this in an RS meeting but personally I believe that there is nothing better than knowing I have never cheated on my husband before or after we were married and he has never cheated on me. Its an extra special feeling knowing that you saved yourself and your partner saved themselves for you adds a depth to a relationship that if you have had sex with someone else before marriage you will never know. You can never get that back.

Not having sex with each other I believe allows you time to get to know each other on other levels which is important especially when illness, pregnancy and children hit.

-Charley

Thank you.

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Thank you.

its what I want to teach my kids I am very excited about the law of chastity not just from a religious point of view I think its practical throughout university I never had a pregnancy scare, never truly had my heartbroken etc I got more dates because I was relaxed around men because I knew where my boundaries where.

I will be teaching my kids no matter whether they stay with the church that the Law of Chastity is good for friendships, good for you and wonderful for your marriage.

-Charley

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