Inter-Faith Marriages


paulp1002
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About a year ago I met a fantastic woman, who is a member of the LDS Church. I started to attend church with her and was baptized in January of this year. The more we spent time together we knew that we right for each other, in May we decided to get married. The first couple months were tough, and now they seem to get tougher. I started to struggle with some of the Mormon beliefs, primarily the Word of Wisdom and Joseph Smith. I didn't and still don't understand how drinking tea or coffee makes me any less righteous of a person. I have asked the Bishop and he was not able to give me a straight answer. My wife's biggest concern is to get sealed in the Temple. I just don't feel that drinking tea makes me not worthy.

Once we started going to our new family ward, I attended the Priesthood meeting and was immediately turned away. The person teaching the lesson did nothing but "bad mouth" Catholics for the full hour. My family is Catholic, my heritage is Catholic, I grew up Catholic and this offended me very much. My wife convinced me to talk to the Bishop, so I did. Although he said that that instructor should not have done that. He basically did the same thing, by pointing out what he thought was wrong with Catholics, when I didn't ask. This pushed me further away from the Church; I started to notice that many members in the new ward and singles ward seem to have a close minded attitude towards Catholics, whenever the subject came up.

My wife noticed this and told me that as long as I have God in my life that was all that matters. She also stated that if I wanted to attend Catholic mass, she would attend with me after we attended our ward. I prayed and prayed and felt that the answer I needed was to re-investigate both Churches. I started to lean closer to the Catholic Church. Although there are too many beliefs in both religions that I love, I felt like I was in the middle. Although I was grew in a Catholic household I never made my communion, I found out that I can not make my communion unless I was married in the Catholic church, and in order to get married in the catholic church I have to agree to do my best in raising the kids Catholic. I told her that she could raise the kids Mormon and I would teach the kids Catholicism when they are old enough to ask. She said that she was okay with that, until she talked to her sister who is very close minded towards Catholics and her mom who said she does not want Catholic grandchildren. Her dad is extremely open-minded and very helpful. He helped with providing talks about accepting other religions. Her mom instructed her to talk to our Bishop; the Bishop basically said that she should not sacrifice her beliefs. I never intended her to do that. After her talk with the bishop she gave me the ultimatum to either believe in Mormonism or leave me. I told her I am still struggling and that I felt closer to the Catholic Church so she left me.

I spoke with the Bishop and showed him a letter from the First Presidency regarding accepting other faiths and he just brushed it off. I feel strongly that because of his close-mindedness, he pushed her away from me. He closed her eyes to accepting other religions. I told her that I would try again, but I am still struggling. She told me that either I believe or she will leave me again. I have been praying and praying and the answer that I feel that I have is to research and study the problems that I am having. I figured that the Word of Wisdom is only a “branch” of my struggles, but the trunk is Joseph Smith. I realized that if there was proof that Mormonism existed in South America, then I would have to believe, because what Joseph Smith did, would have been a miracle. I went to the Smithsonian Institute and found that they have no archeological proof that it existed; nothing showing the existence of the Nephites or Laminates.

Now I am torn. I’m afraid to tell my wife because I am afraid she will leave me. I love her with all my heart and don’t want to lose her, but I know she will if I don’t believe and that I feel that Catholicism is for me. I have no problems attending both churches and helping her. I found out that my friend’s sister who is Catholic just married a Mormon Bishop’s son and they have no problem accepting her. Why would this be such a problem with our Bishop? Mormonism and Catholicism have many of the same beliefs and many good values. To me, the combination would be a super religion. Reading some of the post on this website, I feel a comfort reading knowing the openness to Catholicism.

I guess what I don’t understand, is if God is unchanging and a fair God; why would he want to tear apart two people who love each. She keeps saying that God is first, then me. Is that true? My understanding is that as long as God in our lives, no matter what religion we grow closer to him as a married couple.

I hope this all makes sense… Please Help!!

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PaulP, you are in a very tough situation. This is how I see it from what you have shared. When you and your wife entered in to your marriage agreement you were both LDS or you were headed in that direction. One of the things she used to make her decision to marry you was that you would be an eternal family, something taught to LDS youth from the time they are in Primary. So she entered in to the marriage agreement. Now you want to change the arrangement. I am not trying to make a case for Catholic or LDS but to what the original agreement was.

Now you are telling her that you did the LDS thing because you wanted to marry her and were not busy in your Catholic faith. I wonder how dedicated someone is to their faith and their family being Catholic if they did not do communion as they grew up. My cousins grew up Catholic and there was no way they were going to get out of their youth without doing communion.

There was a great talk given many years ago I believe by Hugh B. Brown. It was that there were only two candidates to be the Church of Christ. It was either the Catholic Church and there had not been an apostacy or there was an apostacy and there was a need for a restoration of the authority and organization as Christ had established it.

Good luck in your family search. For me and my family I would do anything to keep my family together. If my wife chose to leave the church I would love her and stay with her and hope that some day she changed her mind. I would still do what I know I am suppossed to do but whole love and support her in her efforts.

Ben Raines

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Thanks for your reply. But I didn't do the LDS thing because I wanted to marry her. I converted several months before I knew I wanted to marry her. I had a testimony, but I now believe that it was a way for me to get closer to God. My parents never forced my brother or me to attend church, I know they wish they did, but they didn't. We grew up with God in our lives, and taught us to live a life worthy of God, being the best person we could be and doing what is right. I understand that is how LDS members are raised with the hopes of eternal marriage, but our understanding was that we can still be sealed even if we were not sealed in the temple. She was okay with that, until she spoke with the Bishop and her sister and mother.

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Sorry that someone gave you the impression that you could be sealed without being sealed in the temple. Marriage other than in the temple is for mortality only. There may be a faith that believes that marriage is for eternity but I am not aware of it. I don't know them all so say that there may be some.

What does the Catholic church believe of life after death. I would like to hear from Ceeboo too as far as he understands that Catholic belief.

Not to put you down Paul but I served a mission in a very catholic area in latin america and few understood anything about the Catholic faith other than they were baptized at birth and went to church for mass at Christmas and Easter.

What is the Catholic Church belief on life after death?

Thanks,

Ben Raines

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Hi Paul,

I am a Catholic. Thank You for sharing.

Yes-Inter-faith marriages can be difficult. I am sorry that you were turned off by your local bishop. Some priests in the Catholic Church are less responsive to parishioner's needs than others-however in the Catholic Church-if this is a problem for a parishioner -switching to a different parish may solve the problem.

Yes-there are major differences between LDS teachings and Catholic teachings.

Catholics and LDS may disagree on major things-but they are both pro-family and today-they are talking more to each other and having more discussions.

Yes-Pray about how things are.

From what I know about the LDS Church-switching to a different Ward/bishop is not usually done.

I would encourage you to share how you feel with a counselor-perhaps outside both religious faith traditions.

At some point-your wife may need to know your feelings-that is may take some effort on your part in beginning such a discussion-but first more counseling may be helpful.

I sense that you Love your wife very much.

My husband and I were both Lutherans when we married. About 9 years ago-he converted to Catholicism. I remained a Lutheran-but converted 2 years later. There was some conflict-but Lutheran and Catholic are much closer theologically than LDS and Catholic-thus part of your dilemma.

LDS Marriages are sealed for all eternity in a Temple ordinance/rite-that is something to consider too. As you were both married in the LDS Church-it would be wonderful if you could both remain there. An understanding caring bishop would be most helpful to you.

Inter-Faith marriages can work-they are difficult-and need the loving prayerful support and counsel to both husband and wife and their respective faith traditions.

-Carol

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To answer BenRaines first, my understanding of the catholic beliefs of life after death is: as long as we live a rightous life and try to be "Christ like", we will be judged to live with God in Heaven. Once we are in Heaven what more can one person ask for, then to stand there facing God and to live with God. we may still be married, but more importantly we are with God. One priest that I talked to, said that he loves the concept of Mormon belief that we are sealed for all eternity, but the Catholic church does not know if after death we are still married.

If I'm wrong, I would love to hear what others believe in life after death according to Catholics.

We weren't actually married in a Catholic or LDS church, we just went to the local Clerks and Recorders office and signed the papers. She didn't want a wedding.

I totally understand how inter-faith marriages can be tough, but I feel that both Catholicism and Mormonism have great values and that our children when we decided to have some may have a stronger faith in God with both. When they are old enough to question which religion is best for them, we can both share our beliefs and teach them the importance of prayer and to ask and thou shall recieve.

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I'm neither LDS nor Catholic, but I love God and Jesus is my Savior. IMHO, you must slowly by whole-heartedly seek the face of God. Find out what he wants you to do and do it. Our love for God must be total and uncompromising. If he draws you to the Catholic church, how can you go elsewhere? If he keeps you in with the LDS, how could you not stay? Pray for your wife along the way, but if you follow God, and she refuses to come with, the sin will be hers.

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Wow, you do have a story going here!

First off, a Bishop should never tell a woman to leave her husband. In fact, I do believe it is in the Church Handbook of Instruction. When a person decides to leave a spouse, it has to be their decision. Even in cases of abuse, a Bishop is not supposed to give counsel to leave.

As far as the family goes, in my opinion, they should be supporting you not tearing you apart. No one ever stays in the church when they are forced to do it! Satan is the one who wants to force us to do stuff. Leaders and teachers are not supposed to tear down ANY religion! In our Articles of Faith it states that we believe that all men are free to believe and practice the religion of their choice.

The real issue here, but unfortunately you don't realize it, is that you did not have a testimoney of the church when you were baptised. If you had a testimoney you would underdand the word of wisdom. As far as a Bishop not being able to explain the importance or relavance of it seems incredible to me!

If you have a few drinks or drink coffee, no it does not make you a terrible person. In order for a person to have a testimoney of the church, they have to believe or admit that Joseph Smith is a prophet. In so doing, it makes the word of wisdom true information from God. In order to attend the temple, yes, you have to live by the word of wisdom. Plain and simple. You can be a member of the church and have a few drinks now and then and even drink coffee, but you can't go to the temple if you do.

The Church of Jesus Christ and the Catholic church do have a lot of the same beliefs and ideals, BUT, The Church of Jesus Christ goes deeper into the meaning of life, where we come from, why we are here, where we are going. You could teach your children about both faiths BUT then you would be able to teach them WHY you joined the Church of Jesus Christ because it goes further, answers more, is actually TRUE! IF you delve in to the history of the catholic church, how it came to be, how they stored their scriptures, what they did to them, why the dark ages happened, what happened when the printing press was developed, why all of the other churches broke off and formed, then you would have a better foundation to learn about the Church of your wife's family. Then you would better understand why it is causing the upheavel that is going on now. Her family is scared! They want their grandkids taught the truth.

prisonchaplain is right, YOu two need to pull together, pray together, help each other, cleave unto each other. Religion should not be tearing you apart. True religion heals. Too much drama is going on, get back to basics. Fight for each other and your love. Together, with God, you can find the answers.

I know there are members of the church that would be able to answer your questions and also help you two. You just haven't talked to the right people yet!

Edited by georgia2
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If I read Paul's initial discussion right-he was concerned about his bishop always knocking the Catholic Church. He has a Catholic background. We indeed have our differences. Sharing those differences may not be helpful at this juncture. My guess is Paul has heard this all before--perhaps too much so.

What Paul needs-in my opinion is Love and understanding and talking to others-perhaps outside both faith traditions. Also- If he can find a friendly Catholic Priest and a friendly Bishop of the LDS Church-that too may be helpful.

Caring is important.

I also agree with Prison Chaplain " you must slowly by whole-heartedly seek the face of God.

-Carol

Wow, you do have a story going here!

The Church of Jesus Christ and the Catholic church do have a lot of the same beliefs and ideals, BUT, The Church of Jesus Christ goes deeper into the meaning of life, where we come from, why we are here, where we are going. You could teach your children about both faiths BUT then you would be able to teach them WHY you joined the Church of Jesus Christ because it goes further, answers more, is actually TRUE! IF you delve in to the history of the catholic church, how it came to be, how they stored their scriptures, what they did to them, why the dark ages happened, what happened when the printing press was developed, why all of the other churches broke off and formed, then you would have a better foundation to learn about the Church of your wife's family. Then you would better understand why it is causing the upheavel that is going on now. Her family is scared! They want their grandkids taught the truth.

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paulp1002:

Once we started going to our new family ward, I attended the Priesthood meeting and was immediately turned away. The person teaching the lesson did nothing but "bad mouth" Catholics for the full hour. My family is Catholic, my heritage is Catholic, I grew up Catholic and this offended me very much. My wife convinced me to talk to the Bishop, so I did. Although he said that that instructor should not have done that. He basically did the same thing, by pointing out what he thought was wrong with Catholics, when I didn't ask. This pushed me further away from the Church; I started to notice that many members in the new ward and singles ward seem to have a close minded attitude towards Catholics, whenever the subject came up.

I am really sorry that you experienced such behavior. We (LDS) are taught to NOT belittle another Religion. Our class time is for the teachings of our Faith, not for the tearing down of another's. Unfortunately, there are a few that will, for their own personal reasons, use their positions and time to do just that. They are wrong to do so.

I have only experienced such behavior once. A Relief Society teacher was giving a lesson which turned from an uplifting one to a "rant" against the Catholic Faith. A few of us tried to turn the lesson back towards the original intent. She refused to be "turned". Several of us walked out.

I do not go to church to hear negativity or hate. Nor will I sit and listen to it. That is not what our Church is about, nor is it what we are counseled to teach!

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Sir,

I think it is you who is not being fair. You entered marriage with your wife with the understanding that both of you would follow LDS belief. Your returning to your old faith, or any other faith for that matter, changes the rules in midstream.

Why the Word of Wisdom? Because God commanded it. That's all one needs to know. If the Pope commanded Catholics to not eat meat on Fridays, is there any reason to have any other reason than that, if one believes the Pope is Christ's vicar? The same thing with the Prophets today.

The Lord gives commandments. Occasionally, we have reasons given along with those commands. In this case, living the Word of Wisdom is given as a minimal command to ensure our spirituality for entering into higher covenants, including the priesthood and temple covenants. When you were baptized, you accepted such covenants, and now you are deciding to be wishy-washy about them? How that must cause your wife to struggle, now that you are going back on promises you made to her and to God.

I agree that members should not knock the Catholic Church. it is a wonderful Church with many wonderful people. In LDS scripture, they would be included in the "honorable men of the earth", who obtain a Terrestrial glory with Christ.

Still, we should remember that the Church is run by imperfect people. We don't attend the LDS Church because of the people, we attend because the Lord has implemented through it His ordinances and teachings.

I disagree with Prison Chaplain on one thing. He suggested that if she refuses to come with you, the "sin would be hers." If she is following the guidance of the Spirit, then how is she sinning? Instead, you need to spiritually look at your own life. You are, in many ways, deceiving your wife by giving her a bait and switch. Now, if you are truly being guided back to the Catholic Church by the Spirit, then follow that guidance. However, if you are going back simply because you like drinking coffee and tea, then the condemnation lies with you.

These are serious issues that you need to truly consider in a serious way. What you've written above suggests immaturity, a lack of concern for your wife's views, and a lack of desire to really know the mind and will of God in your life. I've had lots of opportunities in this Church to be offended, but have chosen not to be. Why? Because the Lord has witnessed to me that the restored gospel is true. I have had lots of temptations come my way, any of which could have been used as an excuse to walk away from all of this, but I didn't. I take my search for God extremely seriously, and if I fail, it is my fault, not of the religion I've received a testimony of.

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Thank you everyone for your support. I quess my problem now is trying to talk to my wife. She has pretty much closed her mind to accepting me as another religion. She has bluntly said that if I can't be Mormon and give her an eternal marriage she will leave me. I hate to blame her family and Bishop, but they have all shared their dislike towards Catholics and I think that helped get her where she is today. The Bishop told her that there are things that she shouldn't sacarfic, and eternal marriage is one of them. He then told me the same thing, but adding that he didn't tell her to leave me, but if I can't give her want she wants then it won't work. I don't understand how someone who supposely has some of the priesthood keys could try to tear apart a marriage because the spouse doesn't agree with the other's beliefs. I even told her before, I was never a devout Catholic and probably never will be, but I feel a comfort in Catholicism. I like so many beliefs in both religions. Does anyone know what the Churches offical stance is on inter-faith marriages and are there any documented discussions?

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Prison Chaplain has used a term that I really like. Not to be unevenly yoked. If you make the decision to be a Catholic and not LDS you will be pulling one way and she the other. She wants to be active LDS and you want to be a non devout Catholic. Sounds to me like you would rather not be overly religious and she would like to be. Doesn't matter if LDS or Catholic you, from your words, as I hear them, are lukewarm in whatever religion you wish to be.

I have two friends who are Bishops and have sat in that seat myself as has Palerider. No Bishop is to tell a member of his ward to get divorced. Can ask all the questions they wish and give counsel but not one piece of counsel given.

Good luck. Why not be less devout LDS than less devout Catholic? Seems the same to me. :)

Ben Raines

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You are wishing to have an earthly marriage. She wants an eternal marriage in the temple. When you were baptized and married her, she had the understanding that the two of you would eventually make it to the temple. You are now offering her something else than what you initially promised.

To be unevenly yoked is a terrible thing in a marriage. Given how short you've been married, and how quickly you dropped your new faith, I have to wonder how converted you were to the gospel, versus just getting baptized to make her happy and so she would marry you. Either way, you have not been true to the promises you made to her and God. She definitely has reasons to question you on the entire marriage thing, since you so quickly ran away from things she believed were going to unite you together forever. How is she to trust you?

It has nothing to do with the Catholic Church, which is a good Church. It would be the same thing as if a person was baptized Catholic, married in the Catholic Church, and then after a few months chose to do something else. There is a betrayal involved here of trust. And it is enhanced in LDS teaching, because we believe marriage can be forever. In fact, this is one of our higher tenets, much like the higher sacraments in the Catholic Church is to them.

How would you respond to your future kids wanting to serve missions? Be married in the temple and you couldn't go see it? Your wife receiving a major calling and you are asked to support her in it? She wants to pay tithes, and you don't understand why it should be paid? You get angry with the Church and tell your wife she can no longer have any contact. You later on decide to add alcohol and tobacco to your habits, even in front of the kids, and perhaps have drunken bursts of anger that inflict harm on them. Chances are these won't happen, but I have seen it happen before on many occasions.

Once again, it is an issue of trust. You gave her a bag of promises, and now it seems to be a bunch of hot air. Why would she want to remain in a relationship that has changed so suddenly, when she can stop this one and look for a better relationship that won't shift with the winds have in this marriage?

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RAMRUMPTOM, first off I apologize if I come off defensive. I am not sure if you have read the entire thread or if you only scimmed it. My wife was okay with me believing in another faith as long as I believed in God. This all changed after she talked to her mother, sister and her Bishop. I have been totally fair with my wife's beliefs, I have supported her in her beliefs, I will still attend Church with her. I have agreed that she can raise our kids Mormon, but I will explain Catholicisim when they are old enough to ask. If she likes it or not, Catholicism will always be in their life, marriages, funerals etc... I don't want to get into a debate why I do not believe in this Church. I know that I have a comfort in the Catholic church. The Word of Wisdom was just one of my struggles. If it was commanded by God, please provide me scripture references from the Bible. Also the Pope would never change docutrine without biblical backing. Of course through time, things change and things are modified for the "Now" and as long as their is biblical references I will accept that.

Again for everyone else who is helping me get through these tough times, Thank you.

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Sir,

I disagree with Prison Chaplain on one thing. He suggested that if she refuses to come with you, the "sin would be hers." If she is following the guidance of the Spirit, then how is she sinning?

How could she be following the Spirit to leave him? Scripture says she must not.

1 Corinthians 7:13: and if a woman has a husband who is not a believer, and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

BTW: The command against unqueal yoking is for singles. Those in marriage, is shown in the above verse, are to remain as they are, if possible. Paul argues that the faithful life of the believer might win the nonbeliever. So, for the wife to issue an ultimatum seems rather unloving. The scriptures would call us to prove our righteousness by our living, not be coercion.

Edited by prisonchaplain
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To answer BenRaines first, my understanding of the catholic beliefs of life after death is: as long as we live a rightous life and try to be "Christ like", we will be judged to live with God in Heaven. Once we are in Heaven what more can one person ask for, then to stand there facing God and to live with God. we may still be married, but more importantly we are with God. One priest that I talked to, said that he loves the concept of Mormon belief that we are sealed for all eternity, but the Catholic church does not know if after death we are still married.

If I'm wrong, I would love to hear what others believe in life after death according to Catholics.

We weren't actually married in a Catholic or LDS church, we just went to the local Clerks and Recorders office and signed the papers. She didn't want a wedding.

I totally understand how inter-faith marriages can be tough, but I feel that both Catholicism and Mormonism have great values and that our children when we decided to have some may have a stronger faith in God with both. When they are old enough to question which religion is best for them, we can both share our beliefs and teach them the importance of prayer and to ask and thou shall recieve.

If you really love her more than anything in this life, would choose "DEATH DO YOU PART" or "FOR ALL TIME AND ETERNALLY"? :D

I have been married for now 27-years and we have bouts but when I look across the room, I do see my eternal goddess.

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Chaplain, your reading of this differs from mine. It would be one thing if after being married, she converted and they were unequally yoked. It is another thing after just a few months of marriage, when they are of the same religion, that he chooses to leave it.

He is blaming the Church leaders for his problem. It isn't though. He made marriage promises and baptismal covenants, and is breaking them. She had the hope of an eternal marriage, and still does. He is attempting to force her to stay in a relationship that is different than what she signed onto.

It would be one thing if they were married, then she converted. She would have to remain faithful to that marriage for the covenants and promises made. She didn't change. He did. He has taken her hope of a temple marriage away from her. If we were just talking about "till death do you part", then it wouldn't matter who she was married to. But her hope was in being sealed for all eternity, a year after their civil marriage. His actions, just months after marrying, dashes that for her.

While I don't condone divorce, but for few reasons, I think this short into marriage to have such major changes occur, is a form of deception on his part. It would have been one thing for him to be Catholic and she marry him. It is another thing for him to have joined the Church, given her the hope of a temple marriage, and then marry her, only to quickly switch back.

Would she have married him had he not joined the Church? I suspect she would not have married him. His deception so as to marry her is potentially the first in many deceptions. Why should she stay in a relationship that is no longer built on trust, but on a major lie?

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Thanks for your reply. But I didn't do the LDS thing because I wanted to marry her. I converted several months before I knew I wanted to marry her. I had a testimony, but I now believe that it was a way for me to get closer to God. My parents never forced my brother or me to attend church, I know they wish they did, but they didn't. We grew up with God in our lives, and taught us to live a life worthy of God, being the best person we could be and doing what is right. I understand that is how LDS members are raised with the hopes of eternal marriage, but our understanding was that we can still be sealed even if we were not sealed in the temple. She was okay with that, until she spoke with the Bishop and her sister and mother.

You're right, Paul - About that person being wrong to badmouth Catholics. That should never have happened and I'm sorry you were offended, but I thought I'd bring up some points:

1) God gave the Jews a list of health rules called living 'Kosher'. They may not have understood at the time why they couldn't eat pork or mix milk and meat, but we now know that with their poor food preservation techniques that living kosher improved their health dramatically. Don't think of it in terms of, "I just don't see tea as being important." Instead, think of what the Bishop said to the woman who drank a cup of coffee every day when she was interviewed by him when she said "You aren't going to let a little thing like a cup of coffee keep me from the temple, are you?"

His response was, "Are you?"

2) A man in Priesthood offended you. This is not the gospel. I'm sorry he offended you, but if you say to yourself "That man offended me. Therefor, I am denying myself the blessings of the Priesthood and the Temple." then, let me assure you, that man is not adversely affected -at all- by your choice to hurt yourself. It's not worth it. Don't let that man have this power over you.

I'm sorry you're going through hardships, but think very carefully: All of the things you're saying have challenged your faith are tiny things. If those things challenge your faith, imagine what would happen if a bigger challenge came along. God -always- challenges our faith: If a cup of coffee and a man's ignorant words caused you to run from church, imagine how Job felt.

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Thanks for your reply. But I didn't do the LDS thing because I wanted to marry her. I converted several months before I knew I wanted to marry her. I had a testimony, but I now believe that it was a way for me to get closer to God. My parents never forced my brother or me to attend church, I know they wish they did, but they didn't. We grew up with God in our lives, and taught us to live a life worthy of God, being the best person we could be and doing what is right. I understand that is how LDS members are raised with the hopes of eternal marriage, but our understanding was that we can still be sealed even if we were not sealed in the temple. She was okay with that, until she spoke with the Bishop and her sister and mother.

You're right, Paul - About that person being wrong to badmouth Catholics. That should never have happened and I'm sorry you were offended, but I thought I'd bring up some points:

1) God gave the Jews a list of health rules called living 'Kosher'. They may not have understood at the time why they couldn't eat pork or mix milk and meat, but we now know that with their poor food preservation techniques that living kosher improved their health dramatically. Don't think of it in terms of, "I just don't see tea as being important." Instead, think of what the Bishop said to the woman who drank a cup of coffee every day when she was interviewed by him when she said "You aren't going to let a little thing like a cup of coffee keep me from the temple, are you?"

His response was, "Are you?"

2) A man in Priesthood offended you. This is not the gospel. I'm sorry he offended you, but if you say to yourself "That man offended me. Therefor, I am denying myself the blessings of the Priesthood and the Temple." then, let me assure you, that man is not adversely affected -at all- by your choice to hurt yourself. It's not worth it. Don't let that man have this power over you.

I'm sorry you're going through hardships, but think very carefully: All of the things you're saying have challenged your faith are tiny things. If those things challenge your faith, imagine what would happen if a bigger challenge came along. God -always- challenges our faith: If a cup of coffee and a man's ignorant words caused you to run from church, imagine how Job felt.

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First off, as I stated before, I didn't join the church to marry her. I joined several months before I wanted to marry her. After we were married, I had concerns regarding the Church and was told to pray with an open heart, on if the Church was true. I did and the answer I felt I recieved pushed me towards Catholicism. To question me and my choices is to question the answer I recieved. Secondly, it wasn't just the church members that pushed me away, but they didn't make me want to stay either. I have noticed that a lot of LDS members have a close heart towards other religions. They don't except that other people believe without a doubt that their faith whatever it is, is their true faith. Instead, they believe that it is their way (LDS) and that's it. That's not the case, we need to accept and respect other religions. Those LDS members can not accept that, instead they try to change that. Many do not as you can see from the support I have recieved on this forum, and I appriecate that truely. Third, I am not a heavy coffee drinker, but I do enjoy tea. The Word of Wisdom was a "branch" of my problems, but after talking with other members I realized the "trunk" of my problems where with Joseph Smith. As I stated in my original post, I need proof. There is no actual proof, plain and simple. I don't want to get into a debate. There are several beliefs within the Church that I agree on, but that is it. And Last. My wife was raised in a Mormon household, but with her first marriage, she fell away from the Church, and in this marriage she tends to fall away from the Church. She wants me to push her back, "honey you need to go to Church," "Honey you need to pray and study your scriptures." Sorry, she is a grown wormen, if she doesn't get up to go to church on Sundays then that is on her. If she forgets to pray and study the scriptures, again that is on her. I have no problem reading the bible with her and occasionly reading the BOM, but I'm not going to push her into it. Everyone has choices to to make, right or wrong. I understand that as long as we both feel the spirit we are closer to God as a couple. It doesn't matter which God, LDS or Catholic, its the same God.

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First off, as I stated before, I didn't join the church to marry her. I joined several months before I wanted to marry her. After we were married, I had concerns regarding the Church and was told to pray with an open heart, on if the Church was true. I did and the answer I felt I recieved pushed me towards Catholicism. To question me and my choices is to question the answer I recieved. Secondly, it wasn't just the church members that pushed me away, but they didn't make me want to stay either. I have noticed that a lot of LDS members have a close heart towards other religions. They don't except that other people believe without a doubt that their faith whatever it is, is their true faith. Instead, they believe that it is their way (LDS) and that's it. That's not the case, we need to accept and respect other religions. Those LDS members can not accept that, instead they try to change that. Many do not as you can see from the support I have recieved on this forum, and I appriecate that truely. Third, I am not a heavy coffee drinker, but I do enjoy tea. The Word of Wisdom was a "branch" of my problems, but after talking with other members I realized the "trunk" of my problems where with Joseph Smith. As I stated in my original post, I need proof. There is no actual proof, plain and simple. I don't want to get into a debate. There are several beliefs within the Church that I agree on, but that is it. And Last. My wife was raised in a Mormon household, but with her first marriage, she fell away from the Church, and in this marriage she tends to fall away from the Church. She wants me to push her back, "honey you need to go to Church," "Honey you need to pray and study your scriptures." Sorry, she is a grown wormen, if she doesn't get up to go to church on Sundays then that is on her. If she forgets to pray and study the scriptures, again that is on her. I have no problem reading the bible with her and occasionly reading the BOM, but I'm not going to push her into it.

I was given advice by my Patriarch regarding marriage. The man, wise and erudite, gave me three pieces of advice:

1) Don't marry someone you can live with. Marry someone you can't live without.

2) Marry someone who wants to make you a better person, because that's what marriage is: Two people growing together.

The third isn't germain to this conversation. However, here's the long and short:

You should strengthen your wife when she is weak as she should strengthen you. However, if you're going to get in to a headbutting contest with her over spirituality, don't be surprised if she can't live with your ultimatum. She is eternally minded.

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Hello Paulp,

I have not read this whole thread but I wanted to offer a few words for you.:)

You ask if a marriage of " mixed faith " can work. Short answer, YES INDEED, it can, has, and does . ( Lord willing :))

To be fair, you will have times of differences and challenges of how to handle things in your journey together ( kids, one example of many ) but it is my humble opinion that with Christ as our center, we can find peace, rewards, and gather great humbleness in an earthly journey like the one your traveling.

God bless you and ABSOLUTLY YES, you can BOTH be victorious in our broken world !!

Ceeboo

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