Am I worthy?


sister_in_faith
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I just have a question for whoever would like to entertain it...

I am a convert (almost a year and a half now) and I have a limited use recommend. My bishop had initally told me that I needed to be married before I recieved my endowments, but then found out that I'm 28 rather than 21 and said that I could move forward towards a full recommend.

It was devistating for me at the time, but now I am starting to realize that Heavenly Father may not want me to have a full recommend for some reason. Let me illustrate my concerns.

I have a brain tumor, and it has been gradually taking some things from me. My memory isn't as good as it used to be. Some days I can't even do my ABC's, some days I seem just fine. I (because of the brain tumor) have dropped into a deep depression, so bad that I have attempted suicide many times, and 'cut'. I also have an anxiety disorder now, and have a service dog with me to take to work. My bishop and stake president are very aware of everything going on with me, suicide attempts and all. It is hard because while I know right now that I don't want to hurt myself or cut or do anything contrary to Heavenly Father's will, I also know that I cannot gaurantee where I will be emotionally in an hour or two. When I do those things I am not in control of the decisions I make, and both my bishop and my stake president have both told me that I do not need to repent or that I should ever refuse to take sacrament because of this. I know that we all understand it is something beyond my control. Medications don't work (because it's not real depression, it is the brain tumor and it's location), and I have done everything else I can think of to fix it.

So back to my question... I am beginning to feel that maybe I am not a good candidate for going to the temple. I'm thinking that maybe these things would make me fall into some kind of category so that I should refuse a recommend even if it is offered, or at the very least stop trying to obtain one. I of course would continue to be the best Latter-day Saint that I can be, going to church, reading scriptures, praying, etc. I just don't know; I'm starting to feel really doubtful about the whole thing.

Any thoughts?

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I really understand where you are coming from - I have an illness that left me lying in a bed in a darkened room for several years or on strong painkillers in a wheelchair, I felt like I was doing nothing right and nothing pleasing to Heavenly Father, one day I plucked up the courage to ask for a blessing it said that I was doing the very best I could with what life had dealt me and Heavenly Father was proud of me.

-Charley

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I just have a question for whoever would like to entertain it...

I am a convert (almost a year and a half now) and I have a limited use recommend. My bishop had initally told me that I needed to be married before I recieved my endowments, but then found out that I'm 28 rather than 21 and said that I could move forward towards a full recommend.

It was devistating for me at the time, but now I am starting to realize that Heavenly Father may not want me to have a full recommend for some reason. Let me illustrate my concerns.

I have a brain tumor, and it has been gradually taking some things from me. My memory isn't as good as it used to be. Some days I can't even do my ABC's, some days I seem just fine. I (because of the brain tumor) have dropped into a deep depression, so bad that I have attempted suicide many times, and 'cut'. I also have an anxiety disorder now, and have a service dog with me to take to work. My bishop and stake president are very aware of everything going on with me, suicide attempts and all. It is hard because while I know right now that I don't want to hurt myself or cut or do anything contrary to Heavenly Father's will, I also know that I cannot gaurantee where I will be emotionally in an hour or two. When I do those things I am not in control of the decisions I make, and both my bishop and my stake president have both told me that I do not need to repent or that I should ever refuse to take sacrament because of this. I know that we all understand it is something beyond my control. Medications don't work (because it's not real depression, it is the brain tumor and it's location), and I have done everything else I can think of to fix it.

So back to my question... I am beginning to feel that maybe I am not a good candidate for going to the temple. I'm thinking that maybe these things would make me fall into some kind of category so that I should refuse a recommend even if it is offered, or at the very least stop trying to obtain one. I of course would continue to be the best Latter-day Saint that I can be, going to church, reading scriptures, praying, etc. I just don't know; I'm starting to feel really doubtful about the whole thing.

Any thoughts?

Go to the temple - do not put it off.

The Traveler

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Why wouldnt Heavenly Father want you to take advanage of the giftes he has given us ,you are the one that needs to go the most your Father will comfort you and He wants you to come to his house He wants us all to come to his house, you are only human and he relizes our (your) despair.

I have two daughters and if either one of them needed me especially if they felt despair my love for them as your Father in Heaven loves you and (its no different) I would want to love and comfort them.

Go and feel the love and comfort you need , no more beating yourself up for being humen and go to your Fathers house.

God Bless

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If you are worthy to go to the temple then go. From what you say about your health it may not be an option in the distant future. Go now and receive the blessings of the temple even if you can only go once in your lifetime go now.

It was once said by one of the presidents of the church that if you can't go or live where it is impossible to get to the temple you should still hold a temple recommend if you are worthy of one.

I am sure that there are a number of sisters that would go with you to the temple to make the trip very special and if you can and are up to it get back as often as you can.

Ben Raines

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I just have a question for whoever would like to entertain it...

I am a convert (almost a year and a half now) and I have a limited use recommend. My bishop had initally told me that I needed to be married before I recieved my endowments, but then found out that I'm 28 rather than 21 and said that I could move forward towards a full recommend.

It was devistating for me at the time, but now I am starting to realize that Heavenly Father may not want me to have a full recommend for some reason. Let me illustrate my concerns.

I have a brain tumor, and it has been gradually taking some things from me. My memory isn't as good as it used to be. Some days I can't even do my ABC's, some days I seem just fine. I (because of the brain tumor) have dropped into a deep depression, so bad that I have attempted suicide many times, and 'cut'. I also have an anxiety disorder now, and have a service dog with me to take to work. My bishop and stake president are very aware of everything going on with me, suicide attempts and all. It is hard because while I know right now that I don't want to hurt myself or cut or do anything contrary to Heavenly Father's will, I also know that I cannot gaurantee where I will be emotionally in an hour or two. When I do those things I am not in control of the decisions I make, and both my bishop and my stake president have both told me that I do not need to repent or that I should ever refuse to take sacrament because of this. I know that we all understand it is something beyond my control. Medications don't work (because it's not real depression, it is the brain tumor and it's location), and I have done everything else I can think of to fix it.

So back to my question... I am beginning to feel that maybe I am not a good candidate for going to the temple. I'm thinking that maybe these things would make me fall into some kind of category so that I should refuse a recommend even if it is offered, or at the very least stop trying to obtain one. I of course would continue to be the best Latter-day Saint that I can be, going to church, reading scriptures, praying, etc. I just don't know; I'm starting to feel really doubtful about the whole thing.

Any thoughts?

Never,never,never, ever give up trying your best to attain a temple recommend. NEVER!:)

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