Don't know what to do


Mirium
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I don't know what to do anymore. Havent posted here for a while. I don't know how to keep going. I feel so low. I don't feel well. Being the only active member in my family my home is so full of the world. How do you keep going on your own? I feel like I have failed. I don't feel worthy. All my kids are less active. I feel it is only my testimony and my love for Heavenly Father that keeps me going. I am hanging by a thread. I try to read and I can't concentrate. I try to pray and nothing comes out. I feel I need to climb out of this dark depression. I'm worried about going on medication. Some of the threads on here have left me confused. Some say it stops you feeling the spirit and doesn't fix anything, just makes you feel numb but I feel numb anyway. Just don't know how to keep going anymore. Can't seem to find the will to fight back. I feel so confused I've always been able to work through things before but I just feel lost and confused and don't know what to do. Would anyone here be willing to add me as their friend?

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My daughter takes medication to help her feel better and she still an feel the spirit and is a very positive person due to it.

Someone once said that if you don't feel like praying to get on your knees and pray until you do feel like praying.

Sorry for your pain. I do know from having been there once before many years ago that only you can pull yourself up out of it. No one can do it for you.

Ben Raines

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Hi Mirium, I'm really sorry to hear how down you feel, I recognise the feelings because I've had them myself so many times. If you haven't tried medication from your GP so far, it is worth having a chat with your GP and seeing if he/she agrees it may be helpful for you in the short term.

It is difficult being the only member of the church in your close circle of friends/relatives, as it's so common for those who aren't members to blame your beliefs on your mood..I recall being asked to go out and get drunk at Christmas, from my GP, when I was only 17 and too young to drink anyway, when I was depressed and attending the church!! I didn't have much faith in that doctor from then on..

Instead of focusing on your perceived failures for the next few days, try to focus on just doing at least 1 positive thing per day, each day..even if it'

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I feel it is only my testimony and my love for Heavenly Father that keeps me going.

...

I'm worried about going on medication.

...

Some say it stops you feeling the spirit and doesn't fix anything, just makes you feel numb but I feel numb anyway.

Sounds like a valid concern to me.

My wife has been on meds for a long time, and hasn't really felt the spirit in a long time. However, her testimony is solid, she does know God loves her, and she's a functional and able wife and mother, who has energy and gumption enough to have an active role in all our lives.

Moving on to meds, or switching meds, or trying to find meds that will work, can be a very rough thing. I don't know if medication is something that might help you or not - that's between you and your doctor and God. From what you say, it sure sounds like you might have a medical issue with depression. But I do know that a support system can help if you decide to try it.

So your family is not active - ok, so be it. But can they support you if you try to go on meds? Does your hubby understand about the kinds of challenges someone with depression faces? Can he help? Have you asked?

Just some random things to think about.

LM

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Mirium,

Stop focusing on the problems and focus on your blessings. Pres Eyring mentioned recently in General Conference of having a journal where he listed miracles God had performed for his family, and go to where he would find them almost every day.

We tend to focus so much on the negative that it becomes a habit. Eventually, we get so focused on the problems that our attention and thought processes are out of whack. We have to retrain ourselves how to think properly.

Do two things. First, start a thanksgiving/happiness journal and write at least half a page in it every day on things that have brought you hope, joy, peace, thanksgiving.

Second, start learning breathing/meditation exercises. These teach you how to focus on the moment and only on the good things around you. It teaches you to gently control your thoughts and the stresses those thoughts place upon you. There are some free audios online that you can use to assist in this. Listen to them at least once a day for 2 weeks, and you should begin seeing a difference.

RELAXATION

UHS Relaxation Techniques

I used to have anxiety attacks, and a relaxation audio that my doctor gave me for stress actually cured my anxiety.

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Hi Mirium I know how you feel concerning members of family not being active.

You must not let it get you down. God still has a plan for your family. - We as parents can only lead by exhortations and mostly BY examples...being careful to not nag. It is very hard for our children to believe us concerning the church and our beliefs....if our own lives are falling apart. The gospel of Jesus is about overcoming the world, finding the joy and happiness in all things.....also leading to prosperity.

This is the best example we can give to our children and neighbors. If our children do not follow in our paths at this time...sooner or later their lives will fail perhaps for some even on all levels.....and they will look back on how to find the same happiness and joy that you have set as an example...Then they will be open to the Holy Ghost influence.

The best thing you can do right now is renew your own contact with GOD. Once you find your joy and happiness, then you will be in a better position to help your family find their way again....WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. Timing is everything.

To help our family further....we can have a constant prayer in our heart for their welfare.

P/s - Be careful...depression is often the result of anger turned inward. In any case Depression is due to negativity in our life. And negativity is also called darkness.

Peace be unto you

bert10

I don't know what to do anymore. Havent posted here for a while. I don't know how to keep going. I feel so low. I don't feel well. Being the only active member in my family my home is so full of the world. How do you keep going on your own? I feel like I have failed. I don't feel worthy. All my kids are less active. I feel it is only my testimony and my love for Heavenly Father that keeps me going. I am hanging by a thread. I try to read and I can't concentrate. I try to pray and nothing comes out. I feel I need to climb out of this dark depression. I'm worried about going on medication. Some of the threads on here have left me confused. Some say it stops you feeling the spirit and doesn't fix anything, just makes you feel numb but I feel numb anyway. Just don't know how to keep going anymore. Can't seem to find the will to fight back. I feel so confused I've always been able to work through things before but I just feel lost and confused and don't know what to do. Would anyone here be willing to add me as their friend?

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Depression is a tough road. If you feel you are clinically depressed then you do need to discuss it with your doctor. Medication don't always have to be long term. Often depression medications are only used for a few months while issues are resolved or while other techniques are learned (like the ones Rameumptom talked about).

I have chronic pain. With it comes times of depression when the pain gets to be more than I can deal with. I tried antidepressants for six years. . . I was just more depressed. I tell you this to illunstrate that what works for one doesn't always work for another. But its worth trying so that you can find what works for YOU.

Now I take St John's Wort (an herbal remedy) for depression when I start feeling like I'm sliding into the deep black hole. I only need to take it for a few days or weeks. I mostly use other methods, such as Counting my blessings (a blessings journal is very helpful), Temple attendance, Prayer, sometimes a Priesthood Blessing. I also avoid contention like the plague.

I hope you can find the things and technigues that will help you. I sent a friend request.

(((hugs))) and hang in there. . . you aren't alone.

applepansy

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I don't know what to do anymore. Havent posted here for a while. I don't know how to keep going. I feel so low. I don't feel well. Being the only active member in my family my home is so full of the world. How do you keep going on your own? I feel like I have failed. I don't feel worthy. All my kids are less active. I feel it is only my testimony and my love for Heavenly Father that keeps me going. I am hanging by a thread. I try to read and I can't concentrate. I try to pray and nothing comes out. I feel I need to climb out of this dark depression. I'm worried about going on medication. Some of the threads on here have left me confused. Some say it stops you feeling the spirit and doesn't fix anything, just makes you feel numb but I feel numb anyway. Just don't know how to keep going anymore. Can't seem to find the will to fight back. I feel so confused I've always been able to work through things before but I just feel lost and confused and don't know what to do. Would anyone here be willing to add me as their friend?

Being the only active member in your family can be a trying time for you. But it is never to dark to walk alone and I can assure you, the Savior will be there to carry you if necessary. If He is busy, we are here to do it.

Now, you need something to focus on and right now. Don't allow those thoughts to fester. If anything, start with sincere prayer to the FATHER and watch the Spirit come to you. Then proceed on in studying the scriptures for desirable topic. Hopefully, the focus on what has occurred will only be replace with some positivism in you life again.

What meds are you referring too and what is your medical problem?

Concurring with Pam and the rest, as far as friends, we are all here to support you.

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Thankyou so much all of you for your kind messages of support. I will make some notes on the good advice you have given me. I feel stronger already. Alot of my problem is I don't talk enough and keep it all inside so I'm glad I posted.

I am definately going to start a happiness journal that sounds like such a good idea and I'll look at those relaxation techniques.

Thankyou also for the friend requests, we all need friends.

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What are the ages of you children?

Do any of them still have a testimony of the church?

I have one teenager, others older and working.

My teenager is still not sure but otherwise no they don't. My husband is not a member and although he is very supportive of me it is very difficult, well now I would say impossible for me to maintain standards in the home which doesn't help but I love them all, no matter what.

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Being the only active member in your family can be a trying time for you. But it is never to dark to walk alone and I can assure you, the Savior will be there to carry you if necessary. If He is busy, we are here to do it.

Now, you need something to focus on and right now. Don't allow those thoughts to fester. If anything, start with sincere prayer to the FATHER and watch the Spirit come to you. Then proceed on in studying the scriptures for desirable topic. Hopefully, the focus on what has occurred will only be replace with some positivism in you life again.

What meds are you referring too and what is your medical problem?

Concurring with Pam and the rest, as far as friends, we are all here to support you.

I'm referring to anti depressants Hemi. I do have a history but havent struggled like this for many years. I'm not good with medication due to side effects, hence my reluctance to try it.

Obviously they work for some and not others. My major worry is losing the spirit. I have never been on meds since becoming a member of the church so don't know if I will or not. Looking at Ben and LM's replies some can and some can't feel the spirit on meds. Although I am having difficulty reading and praying right now and my emotions are numb. I can feel the spirit. I think that has been a gift from my Heavenly Father to sustain me as I have been so extremely low I've found it difficult to find a reason to go on.

I don't want to lose that comforter yet if it really is a chemical imbalance that is causing this I would be a fool not to get it treated and like LM says if they help me to function maybe not feeling the spirit is a sacrifice I will have to make in order to function.

I will try and improve my communication with my Father in Heaven to see if I can get some guidance.

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Mirium, I am so sorry to hear of your struggle. It is an emotionally and spiritually confusing problem.

I was wondering if you had considered managing the depression with exercise and diet. They say that over time, exercise simply dwarfs the effectiveness of anti-depressants. Within the first few months, the effects are basically the same. So, it is a matter of making sure that the exercise happens even if you don't see immediate effects. And then perhaps adjusting your diet could really help too. You could make sure that you are taking a really good multivitamin and make sure you have the minerals you need. Perhaps even add some B 12 and make sure your iron is where it should be. I know that when I am sad, I go to the carbs and the sugar. Maybe you could look at some of your habits and change the way you look at food. You know, look to food as medicine.

Good luck. And may Heaven Bless.

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Mirium, I am so sorry to hear of your struggle. It is an emotionally and spiritually confusing problem.

I was wondering if you had considered managing the depression with exercise and diet. They say that over time, exercise simply dwarfs the effectiveness of anti-depressants. Within the first few months, the effects are basically the same. So, it is a matter of making sure that the exercise happens even if you don't see immediate effects. And then perhaps adjusting your diet could really help too. You could make sure that you are taking a really good multivitamin and make sure you have the minerals you need. Perhaps even add some B 12 and make sure your iron is where it should be. I know that when I am sad, I go to the carbs and the sugar. Maybe you could look at some of your habits and change the way you look at food. You know, look to food as medicine.

Good luck. And may Heaven Bless.

You know, you've just made me realise how much I really have let things slip in that department. I've gained weight recently and because of feeling low havent been motivated to excersise and have been wanting to comfort eat. It is like a viscious circle. The lower you feel the less you are motivated. Thinking about it last time I had my thyroid checked they said I was borderline (low levels). Maybe I should have my bloods checked. Thankyou for your post.

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Hi Miriam...if your "Friends" list has room, I would love to be your friend.

I have a daughter that suffered through a heavy depression. She did go on meds, then after several years she was able to "come off" of them. She is doing really well at this time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thankyou for sharing and your prayers. My friends list has room for plenty more friends, I'll send you a request if I can figure out how!

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I don't know what to do anymore. Havent posted here for a while. I don't know how to keep going. I feel so low. I don't feel well. Being the only active member in my family my home is so full of the world. How do you keep going on your own? I feel like I have failed. I don't feel worthy. All my kids are less active. I feel it is only my testimony and my love for Heavenly Father that keeps me going. I am hanging by a thread. I try to read and I can't concentrate. I try to pray and nothing comes out. I feel I need to climb out of this dark depression. I'm worried about going on medication. Some of the threads on here have left me confused. Some say it stops you feeling the spirit and doesn't fix anything, just makes you feel numb but I feel numb anyway. Just don't know how to keep going anymore. Can't seem to find the will to fight back. I feel so confused I've always been able to work through things before but I just feel lost and confused and don't know what to do. Would anyone here be willing to add me as their friend?

Hello, Mirium,

So sorry, it sounds like you are in a severe depression! I would say to get professional help! Maybe counseling and medications both. LDS social services in your area may be able to provide an LDS counselor who can help right now. Also, to go easy on yourself in the sense of going gently on yourself right now. To know that God loves you dearly and knows your situation and sorrows perfectly.....

A lot of people have responded to your thread here...and have shown their support. One thing you might consider is building support in the ward you're in. Is it possible to find friends there? Maybe take an adult CES (church educational system) class? Can your home teachers/bishop give you a blessing? Get an extra visit from your visiting teachers? Anything to build support and positive experiences from the LDS people around you? Are you able to go to the temple in your area? Maybe try to make the gospel fun for yourself? Maybe get involved in a service project too, with children, elderly people, or homeless people, or animals?

You know, Mirium, I wrote a thread months ago when I was severely depressed. You were one of the few to respond. You responded in kindness to me, and friendship. I am so grateful to you for doing so, it was welcomed and appreciated. I hope I can do the same for you now.

To me, life is meant for trial and tribulation. We came here to experience pain and sorrow. "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy..." That verse is ensconsed in the chapter in the Book of Mormon on opposition. (2 Nephi 2:11). Remember, there is opposition in all things. I believe the only way through opposition is through Christ who descended below all things so that He could succor us through our trials. I think of Ether 12:24, where it says that He gave us weaknesses that we may be humble and come unto Him, and if we would come unto Him, He would make our weaknesses strengths. I have felt alone so many times in my life. Lately things have gotten worse. I've lost my job and am struggling in getting a new one......but the Spirit is so strong in my life right now. It is such a blessing. I feel His presence and love so strongly! Please don't give up. Don't be too hard on yourself. Go gently. Keep reaching out. Know that you are loved and not alone. Thank you for your kindness to me when I needed it!! You made a difference in my life!

Dove

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Take a step back and take a deep breath. Don't be so hard on yourself. If a doctor/therapist thinks you should be on medication and if you are ok with going on medication then do it. Heavenly Father wants you to be happy. If those prescription meds will help you I'm sure Heavenly Father wants you to take them as long as they are prescribed by a professional.

Do you ever use the program Google Earth? I love that program. I love zooming in on where I live, the surrounding areas, and all over the world. Lots of times tho, when I'm zooming in real close, I loose track of where I am at. I become lost and confused. The great thing about Google Earth is that I can easily zoom out and get oriented again.

I think our life and problems are like Google Earth except we can not zoom out and get oriented again. We can zoom in and focus our attention on one spot, but we can easily loose our way and get confused on where we are at. Heavenly Father and Jesus can zoom in and out but Father's sons and daughters? Nope, we are stuck in zoom mode for the little time we are on this earth. So all those problems look really big even tho they are small if you look at the whole picture.

Mirium, I know that if you could zoom out of your life and see the past and future, you would get oriented again and feel great. There is sunshine right around the corner. You will make it past those tall dark gloomy mountains. If only you could zoom out just a bit you could see that.

I know all our words will not help much. Our words may make you smile today but you will probably wake up tomorrow feeling bad again. That's why you have to do something - keep praying and seek help. Talk with your Bishop and seek help from a professional.

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I know all our words will not help much. Our words may make you smile today but you will probably wake up tomorrow feeling bad again. That's why you have to do something - keep praying and seek help. Talk with your Bishop and seek help from a professional.

Uh, let me be clearer on that. I think the words from others on this site can help you. I think the words of Heavenly Father and Jesus will definitely help you. And I know you and I and all of us can not get better without the help of Christ. I didn't mean to say the words from the fellow posters here on lds.net can not help. They sure have helped me.

Edited by HoosierGuy
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Hello, Mirium,

So sorry, it sounds like you are in a severe depression! I would say to get professional help! Maybe counseling and medications both. LDS social services in your area may be able to provide an LDS counselor who can help right now. Also, to go easy on yourself in the sense of going gently on yourself right now. To know that God loves you dearly and knows your situation and sorrows perfectly.....

A lot of people have responded to your thread here...and have shown their support. One thing you might consider is building support in the ward you're in. Is it possible to find friends there? Maybe take an adult CES (church educational system) class? Can your home teachers/bishop give you a blessing? Get an extra visit from your visiting teachers? Anything to build support and positive experiences from the LDS people around you? Are you able to go to the temple in your area? Maybe try to make the gospel fun for yourself? Maybe get involved in a service project too, with children, elderly people, or homeless people, or animals?

You know, Mirium, I wrote a thread months ago when I was severely depressed. You were one of the few to respond. You responded in kindness to me, and friendship. I am so grateful to you for doing so, it was welcomed and appreciated. I hope I can do the same for you now.

To me, life is meant for trial and tribulation. We came here to experience pain and sorrow. "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy..." That verse is ensconsed in the chapter in the Book of Mormon on opposition. (2 Nephi 2:11). Remember, there is opposition in all things. I believe the only way through opposition is through Christ who descended below all things so that He could succor us through our trials. I think of Ether 12:24, where it says that He gave us weaknesses that we may be humble and come unto Him, and if we would come unto Him, He would make our weaknesses strengths. I have felt alone so many times in my life. Lately things have gotten worse. I've lost my job and am struggling in getting a new one......but the Spirit is so strong in my life right now. It is such a blessing. I feel His presence and love so strongly! Please don't give up. Don't be too hard on yourself. Go gently. Keep reaching out. Know that you are loved and not alone. Thank you for your kindness to me when I needed it!! You made a difference in my life!

Dove

Dove,

Thankyou so much for your message it was lovely to log in here and read it. Yes I do remember replying to your thread I didn.t realise how much it meant to you though. You give some good advice as others have done. I'm still having some serious lows but also times when I am just feeling peace that all will be well. Those times I cherish and now record in my Blessings journal. I find it is good even though I have only just started. When your low sometimes you forget about the good times and its good to have it to read to remind you and help lift you up. I will PM you.

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Uh, let me be clearer on that. I think the words from others on this site can help you. I think the words of Heavenly Father and Jesus will definitely help you. And I know you and I and all of us can not get better without the help of Christ. I didn't mean to say the words from the fellow posters here on lds.net can not help. They sure have helped me.

Hoosier,

Thankyou also. Don't worry I know what your trying to say. Yes the fellow posters on here have helped alot with giving me suggestions on how to move forward and showing me support and I'm really grateful for that but they cannot fix things and make them better for me. Only Christ can help me with that and He and I have to do it together.

I love your idea about google earth. If we could only see everything yes things really would be so much clearer wouldn't they. I guess you have reminded me to keep an eternal perspective on things and try to look at the bigger picture.

Nothing is impossible with the Lord by our side.

Thankyou

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I'm referring to anti depressants Hemi. I do have a history but havent struggled like this for many years. I'm not good with medication due to side effects, hence my reluctance to try it.

Obviously they work for some and not others. My major worry is losing the spirit. I have never been on meds since becoming a member of the church so don't know if I will or not. Looking at Ben and LM's replies some can and some can't feel the spirit on meds. Although I am having difficulty reading and praying right now and my emotions are numb. I can feel the spirit. I think that has been a gift from my Heavenly Father to sustain me as I have been so extremely low I've found it difficult to find a reason to go on.

I don't want to lose that comforter yet if it really is a chemical imbalance that is causing this I would be a fool not to get it treated and like LM says if they help me to function maybe not feeling the spirit is a sacrifice I will have to make in order to function.

I will try and improve my communication with my Father in Heaven to see if I can get some guidance.

You need something to stimulate those neurons; MAO inhibiter type that creates a positive feeling. We all know the problem for some in these last days 6,000 years of human cloning [ :lol: ], that we are left with many genetic defects; one that causes a chemical imbalance of negative charges to many receptors of the brain, which I believe causes depression state.

Without prescription drugs, you will need to reprogram your brain to rethink, rechannel, and refocus, anything that is positive in your life. It will take every living moment in learning on how to refocus those negative feelings into positive feelings. One positive feeling that I usually strive for is the Holy Ghost and those electrical charges that He leaves as an imprint to our Spirit. Even if we live through trials, our focus is eternal and obeying the ‘will’ of the Godhead.

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