Interesting article about Twilight

[Connie]

MormonTimes - What girls want: An Edward

Wow! This article almost makes me want to read Twilight or at the very least see the movie. Almost.

So what do all you ladies and/or gentleman who have seen the movie and/or read the book think about this article?

(Be alert, moderators, you may or may not need to move this to the open forum. I'll let y'all be the judge)

[Palerider]

I will show this to my wife and see what she thinks....:)

[Islander]

My 13 year-old boy went to see the movie with a couple of friends and he thought "it was totally a chick flick". Obviously he had difficulty verbalizing what that means specifically. My guess, if I have any insights into his barely-teen psyche, is that he was expecting an action movie and he got a lot of romantic, barely-contained-hormonally-charged-drooling-for-the-girl and a bit slow high school type feature.

Before I become the recipient of high intensity volcanic flames, let me clarify what I'm trying to say. What works, from the psychological standpoint, for teen age girls does not necessarily registers for all boys in the same frequency. And, what constitute very attractive "romance" and infatuation, idolizing and obviously platonic representations of love at that age loses its appeal as years go by and life and experience enter the equation of reality. My wife and I saw the movie a few days later and, of course, got a slightly different take on it than the boys. But I can see his point.

I suppose fantasy has its place and value during formative years. I am a bit more skeptic about its long term value in regards to viable patterns of behavior in interpersonal relationships. In other words, in real life that girl should have been a lot more careful, should have spent a lot less time flirting with her vampire boyfriend and if I was her father, I would have made sure he knew I had a big garlic-covered silver-bullet shooting gun, just in case.

[Over43]

Could you imagine being Mr. Meyers? You meet a wonderful young lady at BYU, marry her, and a few years later she starts writing books that sell millions of copies? If you'd have told him when he was a teen that's what would happen in his life he'd have laughed at you.

O43

[Elphaba]

This article was not only absurd, it was irresponsible.

What is it about Edward Cullen, the male protagonist of the blockbuster Twilight series, that sends girls from Atlanta to Anchorage swooning? I asked three teen girls I know.

Nava is 14. "He's cute, and he's really nice to Bella."

Kayla is 16. "He's caring, and genuine. He expresses his love, and risks his life to protect her. And he's handsome."

Tanya is 19. "Edward loves Bella and wants to be with her forever, so he controls himself. The self-discipline is very hard on him, but seeing her hurt would be even worse."

Not bad, huh?

Yes, bad.

Of course these young women want Edward--he’s not real! He is a one-dimensional man that we used to call “Prince Charming.” And of course these young women believe in him--they are teenagers! They don’t yet understand that real men, in the real world, are far more complicated than Mr. Charming, and that he doesn’t really exist.

Planned Parenthood has developed a list of questions a young woman should always ask herself when she finds herself falling in love with her Edward, which teaches her she is responsible for choosing a man that she can spend the rest of her life with. Because, in reality, her fairy tale Edward is not going to just show up in the school cafeteria one day, and they live happily ever after.

Letting a young women believe that her Edward will always save her teaches her she has no responsibility for getting herself in trouble in the first place.

Letting her believe in the fantasy that when her Edward tells her he will love her forever, without explaining that forever is often only six months, is completely irresponsible. It is also hurtful, because when forever does turn into that six months, she is going to have a broken heart. But if we were to teach her to ask the hard questions, like those on PP's list, that gives her the message she is is capable of choosing a man she can spend the rest of her life with, and not just the next six months.

And, then, of course, he must be handsome, for less-handsome men are dull and boring, and could never be someone who would cherish her, and that she could cherish back. No, handsome he must be, and after all, who would blame her for throwing the list of questions out the window, allowing herself to fall in love with a man she would eventually realize has no real substance, and is the one who is truly dull and boring.

Because that’s what the Twilight craze is about: a guy who adores his girl so much, he'll do anything to protect her. A guy who won't allow his girl to get hurt, even if it means saying "no" to himself. That's what

girls want.

I agree with this. When a young woman chooses the man she wants to spend her life with, she must know for a certainty that she is the most important thing in his life, and that he would never do anything to hurt her, even if it means controlling his desires.

However, apparently Ms. Grossman doesn’t realize Edward’s primary desire has nothing to do with having sex with Bella.

His primary desire is to eat Bella. It's not quite the same thing.

Elphaba

Edited December 15, 2008 by Elphaba

[Elphaba]

if I was her father, I would have made sure he knew I had a big garlic-covered silver-bullet shooting gun, just in case.

No pepper spray?

Elphaba

[Connie]

Thank you! I have enjoyed reading everyone's comments. Keep them coming. I would love to hear anyone else's opinions on the article.

[bmy-]

Elph said.

Letting a young women believe that her Edward will always save her teaches her she has no responsibility for getting herself in trouble in the first place.

As evidenced in the story. You can sum up the story fairly easily..

-Bella is being foolish. Gets herself in trouble. Edward rescues her.

-Bella is being rebellious. Gets herself in trouble. Edward rescues her.

-Bella is being idiotic. Gets herself in trouble. Edward rescues her.

Makes for a nice fantasy book. But that's all it is -- fantasy. Real girls don't have the luxury of their boyfriends sister conveniently being able to see the future whenever Bella is in danger.

Teenage girls.. let's face it.. they're impressionable.

[Connie]

hmmm, so perhaps the question shouldn't be "do girls want an Edward?" but maybe "do girls want to behave like Bella?" ?????

[KristofferUmfrey]

My 13 year-old boy went to see the movie with a couple of friends and he thought "it was totally a chick flick". Obviously he had difficulty verbalizing what that means specifically. My guess, if I have any insights into his barely-teen psyche, is that he was expecting an action movie and he got a lot of romantic, barely-contained-hormonally-charged-drooling-for-the-girl and a bit slow high school type feature.

You gotta feel for the kid... he went to a movie about vampires and werewolves and got a romance.

[Crow]

So what do all you ladies and/or gentleman who have seen the movie and/or read the book think about this article?

I think this article picks up on the aspect of Edward that one can expect of anyone: he can control himself in a sexual situation. I really do not see how that should be applauded -- anyone should be respectable enough to be able to do such a thing.

As for the introduction: As usual, I seem to fall outside of everyone's definition of female. What is there to love about Edward? He's handsome apparently. I, personally, find his attitude both patronizing and disturbing. He thinks it is okay to break into the house of the girl he likes anytime he wants, follow her around without her knowing or consent, vandalize her property, and treat her like a child. I don't care how handsome Edward is, or how much he tries to excuse himself by saying that he does it because he loooooves me -- if he treated me like he treats Bella, I would at least start by having a serious talk with him.

I expect more out of guys than just respecting me sexually in a way any decent person already should.

ETA: Also, this comment: "fight battles for her."

No.

NO.

No, no, no, no, and NO.

I NEVER EVER want someone who fights battles FOR me.

I want someone who fights battles alongside me.

Edited December 21, 2008 by Crow
ETA

[ryeguyc]

I have a problem with the fantasy taking so much time from my kids and my wife. I have not gone to the movie but my wife has gone 5 times. I think reality would be nice. Anyone have a comment on how to come back to earth or heaven.

[KristofferUmfrey]

I think this article picks up on the aspect of Edward that one can expect of anyone: he can control himself in a sexual situation. I really do not see how that should be applauded -- anyone should be respectable enough to be able to do such a thing.

As for the introduction: As usual, I seem to fall outside of everyone's definition of female. What is there to love about Edward? He's handsome apparently. I, personally, find his attitude both patronizing and disturbing. He thinks it is okay to break into the house of the girl he likes anytime he wants, follow her around without her knowing or consent, vandalize her property, and treat her like a child. I don't care how handsome Edward is, or how much he tries to excuse himself by saying that he does it because he loooooves me -- if he treated me like he treats Bella, I would at least start by having a serious talk with him.

I expect more out of guys than just respecting me sexually in a way any decent person already should.

ETA: Also, this comment: "fight battles for her."

No.

NO.

No, no, no, no, and NO.

I NEVER EVER want someone who fights battles FOR me.

I want someone who fights battles alongside me.

This may come out wrong...

I've saw many handsome but patronizing, arrogant, control freak RM's in the singles ward when I went, and those were the popular guys that went on dates and got married. So for an LDS woman to write the "hero" character of her romance novel in such a manner does not really surprise me much. Seems LDS girls like bad boys just as much (if not more) then any other girl.

I'll duck now...

[Connie]

Hey, thanks, y'all! It has been great to get some perspective. :)