Understanding Mental Health/Illness


pushka
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I've been told tonight, and at another time, by a friend of mine who's investigating the church, that one particular member of our ward does not seem to understand or appreciate mental health/illness and the way it impacts on the person's life.

My friend has mood swings which may be down to him having Bi Polar Disorder, although he hasn't had a diagnosis of this yet, and I have Recurrent Depressive Disorder.

My friend has had comments made to him about his mood swings and lack of work (he's on sickness benefit from the state), in which he has been told he is just immature and that he spends his time just hanging around (not the exact phrase used, but I can't remember the exact word, sorry!!).

My friend confided in me about his lack of a Testimony of the Church a while ago, and I tried to advise him of how he should proceed re baptism, ie. that he ought not to get baptised until he has gained a testimony and is going to be happy to follow all the requirements of being a Latter Day Saint. He told the guy that I'd been advising him in this way and, apparently, the guy said to him 'how can she advise you about the Church, how can she advise you about anything, what does she do at home all day, just hang out on Facebook?'

I thought that his comments about me and about my friend were totally inappropriate and out of order. I'm not sure if he knows that I have depression, I cannot remember telling him about it unless I once mentioned it in passing in a car journey, but he does know about my friend's problems with his mental well being.

What would you suggest we do about this person's attitude to our illnesses? I feel that he needs educating regarding depression and mood swings, but I'm not sure of the best way of doing so..I thought about writing him an email and linking to any GA talks regarding mental health and the way in which members should view it, but my daughter thinks that he would just ignore it..I'm beginning to resent this person because of his apparent ignorance on this subject, and just wondered what anyone else would do if this was happening to them or a friend at church.

My friend asked me not to repeat to the guy what he'd said in relation to me, so obviously I haven't gone to the guy and questioned him about it..but it bothers me that he is making assumptions without knowing the full facts. Of course, I am also aware that my friend is interpreting a conversation he had with this guy in this particular way, and that it is only hearsay as far as I'm concerned, so if I did approach the guy in an accusatory manner, I might end up eating humble pie..

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Thanks Zookeeper, I suppose I agree with you that I and my friend should move on, however I wouldn't like to keep on moving on and still hear that this man is making similar or the same comments forever more..I think the situation might call for some action at a later date if this was the case.

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Pushka,

You might want to talk this over with your Home Teacher(s)/Visiting Teacher(s) if you feel that they may be able to help you, if not then of course your Bishop.

Explain the situation, then ask them if they know of a way in which the entire Ward (adults) can be educated about your and your friends illness's. A lesson in RS/Priesthood like on a 5th Sunday would be a good way to get the message across without actually singling any one person(s) out.

The Bishop would ultimately have to agree to this, but first I would test the waters with your home teacher(s)/ visiting teacher(s).

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What would you suggest we do about this person's attitude to our illnesses? I feel that he needs educating regarding depression and mood swings, but I'm not sure of the best way of doing so.

I would suggest you print out this Ensign talk and mail it to him anonymously:

Ensign - October '05 - Myths about Mental Illness

Actually, this talk is a shortened version of the book Elder Morrison wrote on mental illness. I've bought and handed out almost two dozen copies over the years, giving them to Bishoprics and Stake Presidencies. I heartilly recommend both the book and the talk to anyone who wishes to have the bare minimum required understanding about mental illness.

If mailing the talk doesn't work, you can always tie a copy of his book around a brick and throw it through this guy's window.

LM

(Only about 82.5% joking on that last one)

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Mental illness still unfortunately has a negative stigma. There are many among us who simply believe that it isn't a true illness at all. No amount of educating can change those individuals close minds. Find comfort in knowing that they are not the majority and slowly some of the negative stigma is being erased. Be comfortable in your own skin and know that you are not alone.

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Thanks for the further replies everyone. The suggestion of speaking to my Home/Visiting teachers is a good idea, because obviously I wouldn't want to single out this guy just because, I do feel that it would be more constructive to educate the whole of the congregation and hope that the message is received and taken on board by this particular guy and any who think the same as he does.

Thanks for the Ensign article too, LM, that is a good idea, to let him receive a copy anonymously..perhaps if I don't confront the issue soon enough I may be angry enough to throw that brick too! LOL :)

Coping, you're right, there is still a big stigma attached to mental illness and until somebody has grown close to a person going thru problems, it can be difficult to sympathise or empathise with their situation. My sister used to resent the classes I could go to, distraction classes I called them as they were designed to get me out of the house and to stop me brooding about my depressive thoughts, as she was working and I wasn't, she told me one day that she wished she could be diagnosed with a mental illness so that she could get all these benefits! Since then she has become a Community Midwife and has come across women in all walks of life who've been suffering with one form of depression or mental illness or another during their pregnancies, she's seen the way the illness has impacted on their lives and how similar some are to my situation..now she is much more compassionate about it. Unfortunately you are also correct that many people will never fully understand the illnesses which is very sad.

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I don't even understand my mental illness (bi-polar disorder), it's hard to fathom someone else understanding it who hasn't ever dealt with it in some fashion.

I wasn't suggesting that this person, or anyone else, should have deep, in-depth knowledge of different kinds of mental illnesses, but that he should be 'educated' enough not to make sweeping statements that my friend who may have Bi Polar is just immature because he has mood swings..he has been on medication from his GP in the past for the mood swings, or that I spend all day at my computer on Facebook, which isn't what I do anyway..when I'm feeling a little okay I go to college classes and when I'm in the depths of my depression I stay in bed and avoid the world..sometimes I use Facebook recently as my only way of conversing with anyone.

A little compassion and losing the deprecating remarks would be a good start for this man to regain my respect.

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Hi Pushka,

I find it hard to understand my mental health problems too. Its very difficult to explain it even to those who have had experience of it but that is no excuse for people to judge. I think educating the ward as a whole on the 5th Sunday would be a good idea if the Bishop would agree and definately post him that talk LM talked about.

There was a person in my ward who told me she had no patience with people with depression and was very intolerant until one day she suffered from it herself. When she realised what she was going through it hit home to her how much those others needed her support not rejection. She said it was a very valuable lesson to learn about judging others.

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Thank you Mirium, I know how difficult it can be to explain your own particular 'brand' of depression to anyone, I find it especially difficult to explain to my psychiatrist, funnily enough, because I see him as an authority figure who is trying to downplay how I feel, maybe I just interpret his comments in a negative way rather than gaining hope from them..My original GP, when I was depressed at age 17 told my mum I had an inferiority complex..he just prescribed anti depressants to deal with it rather than sending me to counselling, which I've had since in my 40's..oh to have had the opportunity to explain my feelings all those years ago, and to have been offered a different way of perceiving things about myself and those around me..I could have had such a better time in my twenties and thirties.

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I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder in the early 90's since then I have found that most people have little no understanding of M.I. They are or appear to be afraid of it. The biggest stigma I face from other members is, that if I had enough faith I would not need to take the medication, that has helped me see myself and others unclouded, and be able to make informed decisions in my life.

It is important to learn to let the opinions of others roll off our backs( I know easier said then done) as we do so we are better able to deal with the illness and use our copping skills to get through those dark times. I wish you the best in dealing with this situation.

Mike

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In our ward if there is a 5th Sunday in the month the Priesthood and Relief Society meet together for the last hour and the topic is usually something chosen or approved by the Bishop.

Ahh, I recall this happening now and again in my local ward, I didn't realise that was the reason for doing it...thanks :)

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January '09 Ensign has an article about mental illness and even focuses on bi-polar. Check it out. I couldn't find a link, don't think that issue is up yet on the main site. It urged individuals to seek support, and for individuals to be that support by being a friend who is willing to listen and withhold judgment. Mental illness or not, that's what I really want!

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I suspect there is a fair amount of ignorance in general when it comes to mental illness in the public and the church members are not excluded. It is only in the last few years on account of celebrities and other high profile people openly discussing their struggles that it has gained some visibility and discussion in the public square.

It is difficult to give credence to something "nobody can see and only you feel" sort of a condition. Also, such a small percentage of the population suffers symptoms that are truly incapacitating that it is just easy to shrug one's shoulders and attribute the behavior to bad habits, personality or lack of integrity. Privacy issues prevent people from discussing the extent of the condition with others keeping the issue under wraps.

If you have not cultivated friendships early on in life it may be quite difficult to find true empathic and supportive people away from close family. Sad but true.

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Wow, i'm sorry you guys have to deal with the negative comments. I rarely have anyone say anything negative to me, but come to think about it the only negative comments i've received are from fellow members. So I think it's probably correct to say that there is a lack of knowledge within the church.

It feels strange to say that I have it "easier" because my disorder is so bad, but it's true in a way. When you are in and out of hospitals because you are hearing and seeing things that aren't there, people tend to believe you a little easier. : D You all have very difficult problems to face having MI, but it's not always easy for others to see.

Some people are ignorant because they choose to be. Inform who you can about your disorder, but don't waste your time trying to teach someone who doesn't care to be taught.

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Thanks again for all the replies, they've been a great help to me. Thanks for the link to the Jan 09 Ensign article too.

I wrote an email to my Bishop and RS President, explaining the problem but without naming names, and asked if they could arrange the 5th Sunday joint class around the topic. Unfortunately, the Bishop guessed straight away who I was talking about, and just forwarded my email to that person, who then replied to me saying 'Not me, that I'm aware of. I have more important things to worry about'. Now I feel worse because I could be seen to be stirring trouble for people when I just should have ignored the situation and got on with my life..trying not to hold the person's comments against them. Oh well, I'll see what happens on Sunday at the chapel. :(

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