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Hello all!

I am new to this site and new to the world of forums and threads. I have decided to join this group as an out let when the trials we carry become to heavy to bare. I know that the Lord will not give us more then we can handle, I do however feel that I am almost at my breaking point.

Growing up in the church I like so many LDS woman wanted and yearned to be a mother. After 10 years of marriage that simply has not happened and I am losing faith that it ever will. Before you ask, "then adopt", my husband suffers from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). His OCD comes in the form of having severe issues with contamination (germs). Everything has to get wiped down and basically sanitized before it is considered "safe" or clean. I come home from work or eating out and I have to shower before sitting down and relaxing. With these issues, I cannot consider adoption even though there isn't anything more in the world I want.

I know all the scriptures regarding tribulations and I know that I should go through this with a thankful heart. My heart isn't thankful. My heart isn't glad. My heart is however aching and breaking and there is no remedy for that.

I am fearful that I have allowed OCD and infertility to control and conquer me and I am so desperately afraid that I am becoming a very bitter old/young woman.

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"His OCD comes in the form of having severe issues with contamination (germs). Everything has to get wiped down and basically sanitized before it is considered "safe" or clean. I come home from work or eating out and I have to shower before sitting down and relaxing. With these issues, I cannot consider adoption even though there isn't anything more in the world I want."

Is your inability to consider adoption due to Social services not giving a child to OCD person or is this a personal issue? I just a saw a program where people adopted older children who desperately want a family and love. Once adopted, they blossom and are so grateful for their new family. Maybe you could consider this. If you did have a child, they would just learn to be very clean!

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